Disclaimer: I do not own anything. I've tell you if I do.

Author's Note: I don't really know what the heck I'm doing. Just so you know. I've struggled with this chapter a lot. But... I tried!

Malfoy and Me
Perfect Timing

(Ron's POV)

Unable to control my stream of tears, I headed over to the hospital wing to have my teeth resized back to normal. Naturally, Madame Pomfrey asked me a few questions. My swollen eyes told her more than I would have wanted. There wasn't much I could say in my position, except casually blame my own negligence and irresponsible spell incantations. I doubt she believed that story, but thankfully, she understood the student mentality and did not press on any further.

I passed over my supper and returned back to the Gryffindor common room with the hopes of finding somewhere to be alone and brood. But finding a quiet place in Hogwarts was like finding a needle in a haystack, if I may revive an old classic. Why couldn't the farmer just get a new needle? Wait, it wasn't really about that at all...?

"Ron!" Harry and Hermione leapt up from the sofas they were sitting on. "What happened? Are you okay?" They were both instantly at my side, prodding me to respond.

"I'm fine," I told them, which was less than a lie than I first thought. The fact that they were so deeply concerned made me feel a little better. "Malfoy just told me off, that's all. Nothing to worry about."

Hermione scrunched up her nose with sceptical doubt. "Are you sure that was all?"

I nodded. "Yah."

"We don't believe you," Harry snapped, crossing his arms in front of him. "You look like you've been crying."

"Harry!" hissed Hermione with an elbow jerk that found its way into Harry's ribs. "Don't be so insensitive!" She turned to me. "Whenever you want to talk, we'll be here to listen."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

An awkward silence hung thick in the air. Then Hermione giggled. "I have a joke that might lighten the mood here. Knock knock."

"Oh my God," Harry said with no enthusiasm.

As the obvious gentleman that I was, I decided to humour her just a little bit. "Who's there?"

"Who."

"Who who?"

"What are you, an owl?" Hermione burst into hysterical laughter at her own punch line, collapsing onto a nearby sofa for support. Harry and I barely broke a smile. And they say that girls mature faster than boys... well, that was a rare lapse in her usual studious demeanour, even I could admit that.

"Come on, it was funny!" insisted Hermione when her laughter had finally ceased.

"Yeah, it was funny the first fifty times I heard it," Harry pointed out. "That joke has got to be the most over-used in all of Hogwarts."

"I was just trying to make you feel better," she said to me, sounding a little hurt. She turned to Harry. "How about you? Why don't you try something better?"

He stroked his chin for a moment in thought. "Okay. What about this one? What's the difference between the Slytherin beaters and the Slytherin keeper?"

"No idea," Hermione said.

"The beaters go whack, 'Damn', and the keeper goes 'Damn', whack. Get it?"

I giggled, but Hermione scowled. "That was in no way better than mine."

"What are you talking about? Mine was way better. It was funnier, more original, and had more substance. Besides," Harry continued. "You probably didn't understand it because you're not a big Quidditch fan like Ron and I are. Sadly, you're Quidditchtorily-challenged."

She sent Harry a very good impression of a Snape-like glare while I chuckled. "Ha ha, very funny. You're lucky I don't kick your stool."

I feigned shock. "Now Hermione, that really is hitting below the belt there..."

"We're back to the bloody stool!" Harry screamed before embarking on a mild rampage. "What the hell are you two talking about? What did you two do to my seat? Whatever you did to it, I'm sure Flitwick will find out once he runs his wand through it!"

"Oh dear God!" I dissolved into giggles and collapsed on the couch beside Hermione, who had conveniently rolled off while howling in laughter. I had to seriously wonder whether Harry knew what we were talking about all along, and was saying these things in order to crack us up, because it was an unnatural coincidence. You couldn't make this stuff up.

"What the hell are you two laughing at?" Harry waved his arms in the air frantically.

Suddenly, I stopped. "Oh no, mental images!" Then I proceeded to burst into another fit of laughter again. You don't want to see the things I was concocting in my mind at the moment. It would send a person twice my size into a state of frenzied mental panic.

After Harry had kicked a table over in blind rage, we decided to give it a rest and head for our sleeping quarters. Though probably not meant to, it did perk up my mood a little bit. Not that I should have been miserable in the first place.

I didn't exactly expect Malfoy to like that crap I wrote. I should have considered myself lucky that I didn't sustain any lasting injuries during that second altercation. But the fact that he had even read my notebook at all was a little alarming. How did he gain possession of it? Worst of all...

Was he really plotting revenge?

(Draco's POV)

"Why aren't you eating, Draco?"

I blinked and turned in the direction of the voice. Pansy was staring at me expectantly. I wished she wouldn't. It always creeped me out when she looked at me, because I knew she liked me. I, however, had better tastes.

"None of your business," I snapped at her with agitation, and abruptly stood up to leave the table. I could feel the eyes of everyone in the room boring holes into the back of my head as I stomped out of The Great Hall.

Great. Now everyone probably thought I had PMS or something.

There was nothing left to do but to go back to the Slytherin House, which was just as well because I wasn't the slightest bit hungry. That really could not be the consequence of the Weasley incident, was it? That was impossible. I didn't feel guilt over trivial things like him.

If it wasn't guilt that had taken me out of my comfort zone, then it was definitely anger then, and the lust for revenge. What he did to me was a lot worse than what I did to him. In many ways, I was very unsatisfied with my spell. But it was the only one that surfaced in my consciousness at such short notice.

Even in spite of myself, I couldn't help feel a little... flattered. Yes, the contents of Weasley's notebook were quite offensive, but it was the first time a person of my same gender expressed any adoration towards me. I was even starting to consider myself bisexually open, which I had never been before. So in that sense, I was very conflicted.

Above all, I wanted some sort of vindictive vengeance. He couldn't just write filth like that and expect to get away with it.

We were astonishing free of homework that night, so I took the opportunity to go to bed early and catch up on some much needed sleep. That seemed to be the ideal plan, because it would avoid any confrontation with my roommates about my behaviour during dinner, at least for the time being.

I was out not a moment too late. Dreams? Of course I had those that night, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to hypothesize what exactly they consisted of. It was in my sleep where I realized the perfect justice.

The next day, everything seemed ordinary. Harry and Hermione kept shooting me nasty glances, but that was nothing new. But the frequency of it was more than normal. I wondered what Weasley had told them. Surely he left the one large, foul component out for his own personal security.

While on the topic of Weasley, I couldn't help notice the change in his mannerisms... not that I was looking or anything. He was more silent and hunched over than normal. Good.

I couldn't have asked for a better opportunity to put my plan into action. The trip to Hogsmeade was scheduled after school, and for the first time I had seen it, Weasley was not going. He waved goodbye to his friends and slipped back into the building... alone. I had initially planned to go to Hogsmeade, but this was a chance too perfect to pass up.

Coaxing the Gryffindor password with brute force out of a naive first-year was a simple task. I slipped seamlessly through their common room and knocked on every door until I found him.

He opened the door cautiously. When he saw that it was me, his jaw practically hit the floor.

I had a feral grin on my face. "I've come for my revenge."

Author's Note: Oh gosh, I have no idea how awful that chapter was. I had no idea what to write for this chapter. I'm sorry if you hated it, because... I was just having an enormous amount of trouble with this particular chapter. I might re-write it later.

Anyway, I apologize for the length of time it took to update. But I finally did. So yay! I know it wasn't funny or anything, but I couldn't really think of a way to extract humour out of a chapter like this except for those extremely stupid jokes in Ron's POV. Well, the next (and final) chapter is... Malfoy's Revenge (yes, that's the title). Mu ha ha ha...