Opening Night
Everyone was running around fixing the background, stitching up the costumes, and tuning the interments. The Director walks back stage calling out for the group, one by one they gathered creating a great circle around her.
Director – I see, you're all excited for tonight! So am I! Well Let's see what 2 days of rehearsing can do…
Gan Ning – Rehearsing?
Director - looking to Gan Ning all uneasy like Yes, rehearsing, something actors do before they do the real thing…
Gan Ning – Nope never did that…
Everyone shook their head slowly.
Director – You have to be kidding me! You haven't rehearsed once?
Yue Ying – We read the script though…
Director - …Good enough…Ok People! You all have 1 hour to get dress and in positions!
Zhao Yun – Um, Director? Who's going to play the auctioneer and the Porter?
Director - looks to see who's around, then points at Zhang Fei and Zhou Tai You two, Fei you're the Auctioneer since your so loud, and Tai you're the porter since your so silent. Good! Done! Now Go! Rest of you act like extras and stuff!
They nodded and ran off getting their costumes on, while they set up. The seat were getting filled quickly as the hour quickly approached. Finally everyone was ready to go once the curtains went up and the crowd clapped.
Act One
Prologue
Paris Opera House 1905
Upon the stage stood Zhang Fei behind a wooden podium in a coat and vest that look that it didn't fit him looking drunk off his ass, while Tai stood next to him holding some kind of plastic sword, quiet as usual. Zhao Yun sat in wheelchair, with Zhen Ji in the back dress as a nurse and Guan Ping as a chauffer of some kind, old looking and wearing a gray wig, while Cao Pi, Sun Quan, Xu Huang and Xiahou Dun stood as extras around Zhang Fei.
Zhang Fei – SOLD! To Massure Crappu, enjoy your crappy sword! Lot 6623…yeah anyway…
Zhou Tai moved to pick up a large poster of Diao Chan in a 1880s bathing suit on the beach.
Zhang Fei - looks to it then gives a dog whistle Whoo, that's sexy! This my good men is the lovely poster from the production of "Girls Gone Wild, 1881 Style"!
Zhou Tai - sighs Showing here…
Zhang Fei – Do I here 10 franks? Maybe some Joes? Fine 5 franks!
Xiahou Dun – 6!
Zhang Fei – I got 6! Do I hear 7?
Sun Quan – 8!
Zhang Fei – Whoo Massure Iam Lonie! I have 8! Do I hear more?
Lu Bu - Comes out of nowhere 100!
Zhang Fei – Whoo! 100 from Massure Luibui! Do I hear 101? 100, going once, twice, and SOLD! To Massure Luibui!
Lu Bu – Whoo! grabs the Poster quickly and runs off
Backstage
Director – For the love of god…That was suppose to be of Hannibal!
Guan Yu – Sorry, we couldn't find it…That was the only thing we could come up with…
Stage
Zhang Fei - Ok lot 66..or something, some stupid musical box with a monkey on it…Found it deep within the Opera vaults, still works too!
Zhou Tai – Showing here…turns the little handle to make the music play
Backstage
Director – thank god, the music box is right, and the music too…
Guan Yu – Yeah, took us hours to debate to use it or not…
Stage
Zhang Fei – Ok lets start the BID at…oh say…1 million franks! Does the Dr. Evil pose
Backstage
Director - slaps head
Stage
Zhou Tai – Don't you mean 20…?
Zhang Fei -….yes! 20! 20 Franks!…no? 15?…No? Screw you its 15!
Cao Pi – 20!
Guan Ping - looks to Zhao Yun as if he was telling him, then looks to Fei 30!
Sun Quan – 35!
Guan Ping – 45!
Zhang Fei – 45! Do I have 50? No? 45 going…going…OUT OF HERE! To the Vicome da Cherry!
Guan Ping - moves to claim the box, and places it upon Zhao Yun's lap
Zhao Yun - slowly he looks over the box with gentle hands, quietly sing as if he was thinking to himself A collector's piece indeed…Every detail exactly as she said. Often she spoke of you, my friend. Your Velvet lining and your figurine of lead…
Zhang Fei - Staring at Yun in confusion Who the hell are you talking to?
Zhao Yun - tires to ignore him Will you still play, when all the rest of us are dead…?
Zhang Fei - still staring at him Old man, stop singing to your sorry ass self! I'm trying to sell some shit here! clears his throat Anyway! Lot Satan! A chandelier in pieces! Many of you maybe have heard of the strange story about the Phantom of the Opera! We heard this very chandelier is the figure in the disaster! We restored this piece of crap so now its electric, GET WITH THE TIMES! So you can see what it looked like back then. Lets scare some old ghostly singing hags away with a light show? Gentlemen!
Zhou tai pulled the switch to turn on the chandelier, but nothing happened. He blinked a few times then flicked it on and off. Fei looked to him, blinking.
Zhang Fei – T-t-today junior!
Zhou Tai growled at him and flicked it on again, finally there was a flash of light and the overture begun, and the opera begun to restore itself from the mess it was in. The actors moved off the stage quickly when the flash occurred, you could here Sun Quan cry out. "My Eyes!" and had to be lead off the stage. Soon the chandelier was in its place.
Scene 1
Rehearsal for Hannibal
Once everything was set the light returned to reveal a new set, a backdrop of a poorly painted scene of Carthage. Upon the stage was Diao Chan in her Elissa costume, holding a severed head…a real one, looked to be Yuan Shao. Zhou Yu was in front in a maestro outfit, black suit and a white vest and gloves, few girls in the female chorus along with Zhang Liao, Zhang He, and Ling tong in the male Chorus. Diao Chan was towards the end of her aria.
Diao Chan – This trophy from our saviors, from the enslaving force of Rome!
Girl Chorus – With feasting and dancing and song, tonight in celebration we greet the victorious thong, returned to bring starvation!
Backstage
Director – What! What did they say?
Guan Yu – I heard thong…
Director – Oi…
Stage
Men Chorus – The trumpets of Carthage sound! Hear, Romans, now and tremble! Hark to our step on the group.
Zhang Liao slips bring down Ling tong with him, but they still continue on.
All – Hear the Drums- The fat man comes!
Dong Zhuo – enters with a unamused look on his face, then sings out Sad to return to find the land we love threatened once more by Roma's far-reaching grasp!
Zhou Yu - Interrupts him Oi…Rome! Rome! You idiot, not Roma!
Dong Zhou – Fine! Rome! Rome!
Soon Sun Jian accompanied by Cao Cao and Liu Bei appeared upon the stage. Cao Cao and Liu Bei were dress in well tailored suits, Cao was wearing a blue vest, while Bei was in the green, as Sun Jian was in a red one unbutton, showing a bit of laziness in him.
Zhou Yu – Once again, Pigi, "Sad to return…"
Sun Jian – This way! This way! See the best freak show perform!…err I mean, rehearsal is under way for a new production….yeah…of Cannibal…or rather Hannibal…yes…shifts his gaze about Um, Excuse me, People! Some of you may have already met…
Zhou Yu – Hey! M. Lefevre, we're rehearsing! If you wouldn't mind waiting please?
Sun Jian - Glares at Zhou Yu For give me, oh great one! says sarcastically Please, continue!
Zhou Yu – Thank you, monsieur. He looks to Zhuo "Sad to return…" Pigi.
Sun Jian - quietly whispers to Cao and Bei That is Reyer, our chief repetiteur. Rather a annoying little bitch he could be, I'm sorry to say.
Dong Zhuo - Continues to sing Sad to return to find the land we love threatened once more by ROME'S far-reaching grasp! Tomorrow we shall break the chains of ROME. Tonight, rejoice – your army has come home!
The ballet girls came dancing into the scene Yue, and Xing were among them, Yue look as if she was having a hard time with the steps. The managers watching from the center of the stage, getting in the way, one of the girl keeps tripping over Cao's cane he carried, not even noticing it.
Sun Jian - motions to Zhuo Pigi…I mean, Piangi, our head tenor. He mostly the opposite of Carlotta.
Zhu Rong appears on the stage dress in a dull black dress, you can tell she hates it, as he pulled at it from time to time. He looked angrily at the men standing in the way of the dancers, then moved over to them, then slammed her cane down on to Bei's foot.
Zhu Rong – Gentlemen, please! Please move, or I'll beat you with this thing! waves the cane around
Sun Jian moved the two away quickly, in fear of the can the woman held in her hands.
Sun Jian – My apologies, Madame Giry! looks to Cao and Liu, whom was rubbing his foot That is Giry, our Ballet Mistress…
Cao Cao – More like "Beat You Hardcore" Mistress…
Sun Jian – Yes…I don't mind confessing , I won't be sorry to rid of this business…
Cao Cao – I keep asking you why exactly are you retiring?
Sun Jian - totally not paying attention to Cao as he watched the dancer move by them again
Xing Cai stood out before them, busting some crazy moves.
Liu Bei – Whoa! Who is that! She has some fly moves!
Sun Jian – Her? Oh she's Meg Giry, the witch's daughter. Promising Dancer, Monsieur. Andre.
Finally Yue tries to mimic Xing but fails horribly, falling and tripping all over the place.
Zhu Rong – You! Christine Daae! Focus or you get the cane!
Xing Cai - whispers to Yue Christine, what is wrong?
Cao Cao – Daae? Interesting name…
Sun Jian – Canadian…
Liu Bei – Any relations to the guitarist? 'evy Daae?
Sun Jian - Nods Yes, his daughter I believe. Always has her head in the clouds I'm afraid.
The dance soon came to its end, and the chorus resumes.
Chorus – Bid welcome to Hannibal's relatives the elephants of Carthage! As guides on our conquering quest, Dido sends Hannibal's friends!
A large life-sized mechanical elephant replica rolls upon the stage, Zhou moves towards it and tries to mount it, but ends up ripping the ear off it.
Diao Chan – Once more to my welcoming arms my love returns in splendor looks over seeing Zhou holding the elephant ear, and rolls her eyes
Dong Zhuo - tosses the ear to the side Once more to those sweetest of charms my heart and soul surrender!
Chorus – The trumpeting elephants sound! Hear, Romans, now and tremble! Hark to their step on the ground hear the drums! The fat man comes!
Sun Jian claps his hands at the end of the song, to grab everyone attention, as the elephant is led away turned around to see it swallowed out, and two people making out within it.
Sun Jian – Ladies and Gentlemen, now can I have your attention? As you know, for some weeks there have been a rumor running around about the free pizza night, I'm sorry that was a lie, but to more important things. I am retiring as you all know, and here to introduce you to your new managers of the Opera House, Monsieur Richard Firmin and Monsieur Gilles Andre. snickers at Liu Bei's name
The gathered crowd around them begun to clap, some bowed, heard some booing. Diao Chan pushed through the crowd holding out her hand to the new managers with a smile upon her face, making her presence felt.
Sun Jian – Gentlemen, Carlotta Giudi…Giudiy something or other, our leading soprano. And not the kind you find on HBO Chuckles
Liu Bei – Ah! Yes, I have seen ALL your "performances" winks to her
Dong Zhuo soon pushed through as well knocking some girls over.
Sun Jian – And Pigi…I mean Ubaldo…snickers Piangi…
Cao Cao - snickering as well Well met.
Liu Bei - looking over Diao Chan If I remember correctly, Elissa has a rather fine…as-I mean aria in Act Three of "Hannibal". I wonder, as a personal favor, you would…oblige me…I mean us with a…private danc-I mean rendition? Unless… Looks to Zhou Yu Monsieur Reyer objects…
Diao Chan – My manager commands! Reyer?
Zhou Yu - flipping through the pages My diva commands. Will two bars be good enough?
Cao Cao – Yes, that good.
Zhou Yu – Signora?
Diao Chan – Maestro?
Soon the intro is played upon the piano, as Diao Chan takes center stage and begins to sing.
Diao Chan – Think of me, think of me fondly when we say goodbye! Remember me once in awhile- please promise me you'll try! When you find that once again you long to take your heart…
As Diao Chan, the backdrop above suddenly falls upon her.
Diao Chan – AHH! What the hell!
Xing Cai and some of the dancers – He's here! The Phantom of the Opera…!
Dong Zhuo - looking up Idiots! moves to Cara! Cara! Are you ok, my flower?
Sun Jian – Oh no…Are you ok, Carlotta? Looks up Buquet! Where are you!
Dong Zhuo – Please no one get up at once!
Sun Jian – Get that bastard down here! looks to Cao and Bei Chief of the flies, he's responsible…whispers though wish he aimed a little more…
Slowly the backdrop was raised high enough, by Gan Ning whom had panties and bra wrapped around his neck.
Sun Jian – For the love of…Buquet! For God's sake, what the hell are you doing up there?
Gan Ning – Hey! Hey! Don't blame this on me, I wasn't here! These panties as my witness! pulls at one of them
Diao Chan - looking up Hey! That's mine!
Gan Ning – No one up here, and well if there was, it must be a ghost… he grins
Liu Bei – Oh, come now. These things happen.
Diao Chan – Si! These things do happen! Well, until you STOP them from happening, I don't happen! Pigi…I mean Ubaldo! Andiamo!
As Diao Chan moves off the stage, Zhuo grabs some furs, then scoffs at the new managers.
Dong Zhuo – Amateurs!
Sun Jian – Well that's it for me, I hope you too have a wonderful time here! If you need me, I'll be down the street at the strip bar…
He then turned and walked off the stage, leaving the rest of the actors staring at Cao and Bei, both having a nervous look upon them.
Liu Bei – Carlotta will be back…
Zhu Rong – Think so? scoffs then waves a letter around in her hands I have a message, sir, from the Opera Ghost.
Cao Cao – growls Your all obsessed!
Zhu Rong - opens the letter and reads it aloud He merely welcomes you to his opera house…
Cao Cao – His Opera house?
Zhu Rong - glares at Cao then continues …and commands you continue to leave Box 5 empty for his use and reminds you that his salary is due.
Cao Cao – Salary?
Zhu Rong – Lefevre paid him 20,000 francs a month. she smirks Maybe you can afford more, with the Vicomte de Chagny as your patron?
The ballet girls gasped, and chattered among each other, as Yue took hold of Xing shoulder tightly.
Xing Cai - …ow…to tight…
Liu Bei - looks to Zhu Kinda was hoping to save that for last, but you ruined it, thanks!
Zhu Rong - rolls her eyes at Bei and looked to Cao Will he be at the performance tonight?
Cao Cao – Nods Yes, he'll be sitting with us, cause he that special.
Liu Bei – Is there an understudy for this role?
Zhou Yu – There is no understudy, Monsieur – the production is new…and Carlotta is too much of a bitch to even take one…
Xing Cai - Still rubbing her shoulder Christine could sing it!
Cao Cao – Her? She just a dancer…and a bad one at that…
Yue Ying - under her breath I'm not THAT bad…
Xing Cai – She's been taking lessons from a…great…teacher…
Liu Bei – Who?
Yue Ying – I don't know…
Cao Cao - growls No! I can't believe it! A full house and we have to cancel!
Zhu Rong – Let her sing! waves the cane at him
Liu Bei – OK!
Zhou Yu - looks to Yue From the beginning of the aria then…
Slowly Yue stepped away from the crowd to the center, and softly begun to sing.
Yue Ying – Think of me…think of my fondly when we've said goodbye. Remember me once in a while- please promise you'll try…
Cao Cao – Andre this isn't doing nothing for my nerves…
Liu Bei – Don't worry…M&M? pulls out a bag
Yue Ying – When you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free! If you ever find that moment, spare a thought for me!
Quickly the scene as changed into the full Gala, and Yue within full costume playing the role of Elissa. Cao Cao and Liu Bei are seated within one of the boxes, with Zhao Yun sitting beside them dressed within the formal wear, and his hair pulled back.
Yue Ying – We never said our love was evergreen or as unchanging as the sea- but if you can still remember stop and think of me— Think of all the things, which might have been… Think of me, think of me waking silent and resigned!
Within the background Zhang Fei was walking aimlessly looking around then stopped waving to the crowd smiling his drunken smile, and moved to one of the fake plants to take a pee.
Yue Ying – Imagine me, trying so hard too…notices Fei and raises a brow, then turns back to the audience, trying hard not to notice ..hard to put you from my mind…
Zhang Fei – Yeah right…I know you love me…
Yue Ying – glares Recall those days look back on all those times, think of the things we'll never do- there will never be a day when…
Finally Guan Yu came out grabbing Fei before he was messing with the sheep on the stage.
Yue Ying – I won't think of you!
Applause, bravos, were heard upon the fake crowd of the show, among them was Zhao Yun, standing slowly.
Zhao Yun – Can it be? Can it be Christine? Bravo! claps some more What a change! You're really not a bit gawkish girl that you once were…slowly sits down She may not remember me, but I remember her…
Yue Ying – We never said our love was evergreen or as a unchanging as the sea, but promise me that sometimes you will think of me!
The crowd cheers once more, tossing flowers upon the stage, before the curtains closed before her…