Is It Over?
Chapter 3: Making the plan with Craig
A/N: Hey! Yes this is the next chappie of Is It Over. I'm very ashamed of myself because it took me so long to reach my goal. I wanted to finish this last week, but I didn't finish it until now, but I guess it's better late then never. Please R&R!
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Degrassi or Avril Lavigne's song 'Fall To Pieces' but if I did...oh man...that would be awesome...
Manny wished that she could figure out why he kept on coming back, why he continued to torment her with such misfortune, but in the end she knew the truth….he loved her. She wished she could say the same, but she wasn't quite sure. So many things have happened since the last time they spoke and it's amazing to think that she will still even breathe a word to him.
I looked away
Manny's POV:
It was so hard to tell Craig that I didn't want to be with him, but lately it's been true. I'm not sure what I want anymore, I know I want happiness, but I don't think he can give it to me. For some reason all my hopes and dreams seem to shatter at just the mention of his name. Craig. Just the sound could make me melt, lift me off the ground and let me fly away, he was my drug addiction. I wanted nothing more than to just be with him and be happy.
Then I looked back at you
Why did he have to ruin everything? Why did he always run back to that tramp Ashley? Does he like to see me in pain? In suffering? Does he want me to practically shrivel up and die? What was it that he wants from me?
I continued walking down the hall, the last bell rang about fifteen minutes ago and I was still wandering the halls, what was wrong with me? I leisurely approached my locker and sighed as I placed my books in one at a time, the next one slower then the following.
You tried to say
Things that you can't undo
I stood there for a moment and recalled everything I had said to Craig, about how he treated me, about how I wanted to feel. He practically disregarded everything I told him. Although he acted the way he did, I knew it was coming. The day when I would finally tell Craig that everything had to end.
'Why does everything have to be so difficult!' my mind screamed. I wanted everything to be okay between me and Craig, I wanted to be with him and live happy and never have to worry about things like Ashley or rumors or lies sullying everything. A perfect life with Craig only existed within my dreams and my alternate realities.'
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
I closed my locker and continued to walk down the hall, so many memories lived inside this building. From when I first told Craig how I felt, all the way down to when we broke up today, for what seems like forever. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but I can't just forgive him like nothing happened, he kissed Ashley, after he promised me he would never do anything with her again. I knew I couldn't trust him, but somewhere deep inside, a part of me wants to be able to.
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through
I finally pushed open the clear doors of degrassi and sighed before walking down the steps.
'We've come so far, can we really just drop everything and forget it? Pretend that nothing ever happened and move on with our lives while denying our feelings that are screaming to escape?'
I knew the truth, I couldn't just let him go, it had to be me, I had to try to change things, to make it better and to fix everything so we can try and finally gain that happiness that world has denied us so many times.
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all
I took the short cut to Craig's house, I had to talk to him, had to apologize for everything. I wanted him to know that he's the only one and that maybe...just maybe if we work hard enough we can fix this and save ourselves...together.
I don't want to fall to pieces
When I finally reached Craig's I knocked on the door. Joey's warm smile welcomed me into his home. I paced myself slowly as I walked up the carpeted staircase. I heard a guitar coming from Craig's room, I knocked on the door and her scrambling on the other side.
"What is it Joey?"
"Um...it's not Joey Craig, It's me...Manny."
I heard him rush over to the door and click the lock open.
I just want to sit and stare at you
His bright smile changed my mood right away. Never had I felt happier to see him, just his smile alone could keep me happy forever, as long as I could stare at him forever.
"Manny hey, what are you doing here?" he said while giving me a hug.
"I...well I wanted to talk to you." I stammered.
I don't want to talk about it
Craig turned around and sat on his bed, "Oh...yea that."
And I don't want a conversation
For what seemed like hours we sat there in total silence. We had a fight and now we had to resolve it. I looked at Craig, he wouldn't look at me and I didn't know why.
"Craig...are you okay?" I asked.
He turned to me, his eyes full of hurt and fresh tears.
I just want to cry in front of you
"M-Manny," he stuttered, " I...it's just so hard to talk about it. I'm sorry, I never meant to say all those things."
I don't want to talk about it
"No Craig, don't say that. You did mean them and I meant what I said, I do think you treat me like shit sometimes. Everything just needed to get out in the open, but I'm glad that we know everything now."
"What? You mean you were serious!" Craig asked astonished.
"Yes Craig, I was honestly serious about what I told you."
"I thought I meant something to you, I thought what we had was something special, not just me 'treating you like shit.' " Craig yelled.
"Now here you go yelling again! I didn't tell you those things to get you mad Craig, I told you because I love you!"
'Cause I'm in love with you
Suddenly the silence returned, I didn't know what to say and I knew Craig didn't either. It was a very awkward moment for the two of us, but we couldn't have handled it any better.
I decided to sit on the bed next to Craig before I collapsed backwards and stared at the ceiling.
You're the only one
I'd be with 'til the end
"You know Craig, I've loved you for so long, it's hard to believe that once I finally get you things could go so wrong. I never expected half of these things to happen, a long time ago I was going to give up on you, but after that one night...I knew that a part of you would always be with me." I said while twirling my hair.
I felt his eyes watch over me as I smiled, he laid back onto the bed so we were next to each other.
"Yea, the way that played out was very interesting. I honestly didn't think you would ever talk to me again after that, but I was wrong. I'm not completely happy the way things turned out, but at least we still talk after everything." Craig said while closing his eyes.
When I come undone
You bring me back again
I turned on my side to look at him, he seemed so peaceful and calm. I wish we could sit like this forever.
"Craig, I want you to know something," I began as he turned over and looked at me, "no matter what happens between us you'll always been the first for just about everything. You were the first boy to steal and break my heart, you were the one who took my virginity and you're the first boy that after about a million break-ups...I'm still strung up on."
He smiled before I laid back down, I felt his arms wrap around me and I didn't protest. I wanted to feel the warmth of his body next to mine, I wanted every moment to be like this. To be happy and to feel loved by no one else, but Craig.
Back under the stars
Back into your arms
"Hey Manny?" Craig said.
"Yes Craig?"
" Do you think anyone would care if we just sat here for the rest of our lives, you know...like this?"
I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I turned over and stared into his chestnut eyes, they were so bright and full of hope. How could I just shatter his world so easily, yet at the same time he shatters mine?
"Honestly Craig? I don't think anyone would care accept Ashley." I said.
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
After I said her name there was silence, I realized that talking about Ashley was a very touchy subject. She had ruined our relationship twice already and was in the process of trying to ruin it again. Neither of us wanted to talk about it, but knew it was true.
"Craig, I know you don't want to talk about her, but why does she always try to ruin everything? Is there like something I don't know about? Maybe like a reason why she would keep doing this?" I said while trying to hold back tears.
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
A single tear managed to leak out of my eye and Craig wiped it off my face, "Come on don't get all worked up over this. Ashley is just Ashley, all she does it try to ruin my relationship because she wants me to be with her. What she doesn't realize is her ruining my life isn't going to make me wake up one day and say 'Hey, maybe I should go back out with Ashley,' no….that'll never happen. Ashley has broken my heart over and over again; nothing she can do will ever change how I feel about you."
I smiled, maybe it wouldn't be so hard to work everything out with Craig, sure there are minor hills we'll have to over come, but hopefully we can make it through.
'Cause I'm in love with you
Craig wrapped his arms around me tighter and I snuggled closer to his chest, just the sound of his heart made me feel at ease. His aroma engulfed my senses; he was my knight in shining armor, the one to save me when I fall.
Want to know who you are
Want to know where to start
I want know what this means
"Craig, do you think that maybe we can try to be happy? You know, finally have that relationship where nothing gets in the way and everything is perfect? Because sitting here like this has been making me think, what does all this mean? The situation we're in now, the way we just want to be with each other after things get ruined over and over again. I really don't know why we do it, it just seems like something is meant for us. Some kind of future has been laid out and we're the only ones who don't know the plan."
Sure I felt like I wasn't making any sense, but he looked as me as if he knew exactly what I was talking about.
"Yea, I know what you mean. See when I was with Ashley I kept going back to her because I felt there was nothing left to do, but apologize for the things I have done and make everything better again. Then I realized that maybe it wasn't worth it…..maybe Ashley isn't the one I shoul1d be trying to fix things with….maybe it was you. It was that moment that I came to you and told you how I felt. How we should be together again, how I wanted to put our past behind us and just start over."
Want to know how to feel
Want to know what is real
"Manny, the way that I'm feeling about you is something real. I never meant to hurt you the way I did so many times and I know you've forgiven me over and over, but after this do you think that maybe you could forgive me one more time?"
I sighed, Craig wanted to fix things and so did I, but who's to say that he won't mess around with Ashley again? How can I just trust him enough to think that maybe this time things will be different?
"Craig, I want to be with you, and yes I do forgive you, but this relationship isn't about forgiving and forgetting anymore, it has to be about trust. To be completely honest with you, I really don't trust you at all after everything we've been through. You've never really given me a reason to trust you in the first place. I want to know how it's going to be, if I do decide to be with you again, how is it going to be? I need to know everything Craig."
I want to know everything
Everything
Craig knew it was going to be long and tiresome to tell her everything, but if she wanted to know then he was going to tell her.
"Well Manny, I want you to know one thing. I am never going to think, speak, or have any contact with Ashley again. Honestly I don't want to and I didn't before, things just got confusing and I don't even know why I did anything I did, it just happened. I only want you to be happy, so even if you still don't trust me then that's fine, as long as it's what you want."
I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
He grabbed my hand and gave it a slight squeeze, "Manny, I just want you to be with me.
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I didn't know exactly what to say. Craig is a great guy and I want to be with him, but my gut feeling wasn't exactly the same as his.
He stared into my eyes and began to move in, I turned my head just as he kissed my cheek.
"What's wrong?" he asked, obviously hurt.
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
I smiled while my eyes began to fill with water, "I...I want to Craig...I want to so bad, but I...I'm so scared." I admitted.
He smiled while laughing a little, "Awww, Manny. You're so cute when you're upset. I just love you so much. You know what, I want to do this the right way. I want to start over, as if we never had a relationship before. Have our first kiss, our first hookup, everything brand new."
I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
All I could do was smile, Craig wanted to start with a fresh, clean slate. I really wasn't sure what to say at that point. I looked at him and pecked him on the cheek.
"I'm glad Craig. Maybe we should have thought about this a while ago, you know starting over from the beginning. This can only work if we manage to keep Ashley unaware of the fact that we're back together. You know, like a down low thing. Sure we can tell our friends and everything, but the less she knows the better off she is. Then she won't have a reason to interfere."
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
His smiled faded, "Umm, Manny...how exactly are we suppose to do this? I mean Ashley not finding out? Isn't she going to think something is going on if I'm walking up to you in the hall way and giving you a kiss? Or if we're holding hands in the hall? Isn't she going to be a tad bit suspicious?"
"We'll just have to pretend nothing is going on...pretend that we still hate each other. It's...the only thing we can do I guess."
And I don't want to talk about it
I knew he didn't want to do it, I knew he wanted to be free and act the way he wanted.
'Cause I'm in love with you
"Manny, I...I really don't want to do this. I want to be able to express how I really feel. I want everyone to know how happy we are. I don't want them seeing me yell at you, but I'll do it."
I smiled, "Really Craig? Maybe now we can finally make this relationship work and Ashley won't get in the middle like she always does."
"But what if she asks me to get back with her again? What should I tell her?" he asked.
"Well, just tell her you're seeing someone outside of Degrassi, if she asks who say someone named Sarah Thompson or something. She'll never ask about her again. She'll be too busy trying to find her and get her to break up with you."
"You really think she'd believe that?"
"Well if she sees me calling you a cheater in front of her then yeah, I think she'll by it."
Craig smiled, " I love you Manny."
I'm in love with you
"I love you too Craig."
'Cause I'm in love with you
I smiled as he gently kissed me, I loved his gentle kisses. They were so soft and tender.
I'm in love with you
After we broke away I laid in his arms, he held on to me, not planning to let me go.
'I'll never let you go again Manny, never again.'
I'm in love with you
A/N: So there you go. Chapter 3. I'm EXTREMELY sorry that it took me soooo long to post this. I recently just got the DDR game and I've been playing it constantly, also I had to finish my 4 page term paper before I could finish typing this. But I do however have ideas for chapter 4. It's going to be Ashley's POV. I feel as if this is turning into a song fic SO I hope this song went well with the chappie...until next time-
SkittlesStar25