Chapter 1

Page 2

One Month later…..

Sam stood in the kitchen she had to find a babysitter for Justin and she had to find a job. It had finally come to this, time to leave the baby with someone else and go to work, something she couldn't bear to do. But before doing anything she wanted to take him for a walk in the park, not stopping by and playing this time, well maybe for a little bit, just so she could figure out what she was going to do. Grabbing the news paper, her keys, and her backpack she put him in his stroller, which surprisingly he still fit in and she was glad for that.

"Are we ready to go?" She said as he nodded his head.

"Park."

"Okay, here we go."

Glancing down at her ring finger it was bare, she had taken it off finally after three years, he lived on in her heart and always would, but it was almost silly to keep a ring on her finger when in fact he wasn't ever coming back

"Hey dad, let's go to the park, maybe that chick will be there again."

"No buddy, I doubt it." He said even though it had been a few weeks since he saw her last at the park, he had made more trips that usual dragging Michael there on purpose just to catch a glimpse of her. He would never forget though the pain in her eyes and the look on her face when she turned to look at him as he wondered what happened to make her so sad.

"Have a little faith dad."

"Fine, let's go." He said as they headed out the door about 10 minutes later they arrived and sat down.

"Look dad." He said pointing to her, "There she is."

"Damn." He said as he watched her come through the gate. She was in black low cut pants and a t shirt that accentuated her curves.

"Beautiful"

"What did you say dad?"

"Nothing." He said looking down at him.

"See, having a little faith is a good thing huh?." He said as he took off toward her.

"Hey, where are you going?" Jason yelled at him as he watched Michael making his way toward her.

"Hey, Can he play?" Michael said to Sam walking up to her.

"Sure." Sam said looking down at him barely recognizing him as the little boy that was here last time with his dad. "Here let me get him out."

"What is his name?"

"Justin."

"And what is your name?"

"Samantha, but you can call me Sam for short." She said as she shook hands with him.

"My name is Michael and that is my dad over there, his name is Jason." He said as she turned and saw him standing there, tall with a look on his face that sent shivers of excitement through her, their eyes locked again and she had a hard time tearing them away from him. "Here I'll get that." Michael said taking the pail and shovel from the bottom of the stroller and walking with Justin over to the sandbox as Sam felt his eyes roam over her thinking it was the most intense feeling of pure pleasure she had ever felt. Turning toward him she walked with the stroller over to the benches and parked it, then turning she looked up at him, vaguely remembering him from a month ago, she wondered how she hadn't. His eyes were the most intense she had ever seen and dropping down his mouth was so sexy and she couldn't help the urge to want to kiss him, to taste him and never stop.

"You must be Jason, I'm Samantha but you can call me Sam." She said "Beautiful day isn't it? What's the matter cat got your tongue? She said looking up at him with a sparkle in her eyes and a smile on her lips making it damn hard to even complete a thought.

"No."

"There it is."

"What?"

"Your voice." She said as she looked at him and their eyes locked and then taking a notice of him she remembered Zander and it's as if she had no business looking at another man no matter how beautiful he was, she felt like she was betraying that memory of him. Jason watched her, she was adorable, the eyes that were velvety that you could get lost in for hours, the perfect nose, those lips that we begging to be kissed, and her gorgeous brunette locks, not to mention her body. He had never known such beauty existed and he wanted her, but even though she was smiling and teasing him he could still see that pain in her eyes.

"Mommy come see." He said to her and she got up and walked over to him. "Michael made me a sand castle."

"That's lovely."

"I like him; he's fun to play with." Michael said smiling up at Sam.

"Can I play with him again tomorrow?"

"We'll see honey; I have to find a job." She said as she started to well up again, she turned away from all of them and wiped her tears.

"What's the matter?" Jason said to her.

"Nothing I just have something in my eye." She said looking back at him briefly turning she walked away as he glanced at the boys briefly, then walked toward her. "You know I honestly didn't think it would be this hard, I mean come on, you fall in love with someone, you plan your future and then one day you wake up to find out the person you want to spend the rest of your life with has terminal cancer and there isn't a damn thing you can do, but live the rest of your life, wondering if you'll ever feel that way again about someone or if you'll end up old and lonely and hanging onto the memories of what could have been." She said crying as she picked up her stuff and called Justin to her. "I have to go; I have no business talking with you about this."

"Why not?" He asked her inquisitively realizing that's exactly what she needed, more than she did and he wanted to keep her talking anything to keep her talking, to keep her near him.

"Because I don't that's all."

"Can I walk you home?" He asked her, seeing that she was in a vulnerable state of mind and so full of sadness and pain and he wanted to just help her any way she would allow him, he had such a longing for her and he knew that this would not be the last time he would see her, he wouldn't let it.

"No." She said looking at him as she gathered the little boy in her arms and thanked Michael for playing with him.

"Here I want you to have this just in case you need to talk to someone or need anything, anything at all." He said trying to give her his number on a paper.

"What for? So you can claim me as your own? She looked up at him and shook her head "No. I'll never fall in love again, because if I do, it's a sure bet something will happen and I'll be left alone."

"You're afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of getting close to someone only to have them ripped away from you again." He said to her as she looked back at him and nodded her head. "Yes" she said.

"I'm not going anywhere Samantha, I would like to be your friend, nothing more, just friends if you'll let me."

"No." She said as she looked up at him then glanced away and walked away from him making her way toward the entrance.

"I would never hurt you." He said to himself and as if she heard it she turned and looked at him for a second then walked out of the park and down the street.

"Come on Michael."

"Where are we going?"

"We're going to see where she lives."

"She just told you that she didn't want to have anything to do with you dad."

"I don't care what she said."

"So you're going to spy on her?"

"No. Well, yes, not spy, I just want to know where she lives."

"So you can watch over her huh, be her guardian angel?"

"Something like that." He said looking down at Michael who was shaking his head. "She has you whipped already dad, and you've barely said hello and exchanged a few words."

"Michael?"

"What dad?"

"Be quiet."