Author's Note: Ces Larmes Je Pleure is back on a roll. Here's the next chapter!
Warning: Angst. Visitation from beyond. You know me: obsessed with the afterlife. I think Yami no Matsuei had too much of an impression on me.
Chapter Six: Daite
Subaru's sleep was dreamless for a while. Then, he began to dream about Ueno Park. Seishirou was there. So was Hokuto. There was a blanket spread out underneath the Tree, with a picnic basket sitting next to Hokuto. The elder of the Sumeragi twins looked up and smiled. She waved at Subaru.
"Subaru-chan!" she exclaimed. "Come join us!"
Subaru stood there, half-way expecting an apparition of his younger self to rush by him. When that didn't happen, he blinked.
"Come on, Subaru-chan!" Hokuto said, getting impatient. "We've already been waiting for you for an hour!"
"S-sorry," Subaru muttered, walking towards his sister and Seishirou. He noticed Seishirou looking at him and hung his head, the guilt from the activity between him and Fuuma returning. He sat down between Hokuto and Seishirou.
"You've grown your hair out," Hokuto observed. "I'm glad! I like your hair like this!"
"Thanks," Subaru whispered, feeling completely uncomfortable. He couldn't tell if this was just another dream of his past or whether this was Seishirou and Hokuto visiting his dreams, like Seishirou had once before.
"Is something wrong, Subaru-chan?" Hokuto asked, looking at her brother.
Subaru blinked. He forced a soft smile on his face. "No, nothing's wrong at all, Hokuto-chan. I'm just glad to see you."
"Are you sure?" Hokuto asked. "You don't look like it. And you haven't even seen me in nine years."
Great. It really was Hokuto and Seishirou making a visit. Now he felt horrible. He couldn't let Seishirou find out what he was doing with the Dark Kamui. He looked at Seishirou, who looked back with a worried expression on his face.
"Are you sure you're all right, Subaru-kun?" the older man asked. He put on a grin, like he had done so many times before. "You don't look happy to see me, even."
Subaru swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. He felt tears welling up in his eyes. Unable to control himself, he launched himself at Seishirou, wrapping his arms around the older man. "I'm sorry!"
Surprised and confused, Seishirou embraced the crying Sumeragi. "What for, Subaru-kun?"
"I didn't want to!" Subaru sobbed. "Not at first, but he…He knew what I needed, Seishirou-san!"
"Subaru, what is it?" Seishirou asked.
Subaru shook his head against Seishirou's chest. "I'm so sorry!"
Seishirou looked at Hokuto, who was just as confused as he was. Subaru was in hysterical tears, apologizing for something that neither of them knew about. Seishirou held onto Subaru as the younger man cried.
"I'm…sorry," Subaru muttered into Seishirou's shirt. "I didn't want to…but then…"
Seishirou pushed Subaru back just enough to look into his eyes. They were mismatched, one green and the other gold. Fuuma had given Subaru the eye, as Seishirou had asked.
"Subaru, what are you talking about?" Seishirou asked. "What happened?"
Subaru shook his head again, tears still falling from his eyes. "I can't…I can't say."
"Subaru-kun. Tell me what happened."
Subaru sniffed. He told Seishirou the entire story: how he was frustrated, how Fuuma had offered relief, how they wound up having sex. When he finished, Subaru started crying again. Hokuto was both surprised and upset. Seishirou, on the other hand, was downright seething.
"How could you let him do that to you?" he asked, angrily. "How could you let him even touch you?"
"I don't know!" Subaru cried hysterically, tears running down his face. "I don't know! I'm sorry!"
"Damn it, Subaru!" Seishirou said harshly. "Stop apologizing!"
Subaru fell silent. Tears fell from his eyes as he looked at the man he had loved and lost. He felt his sister put her arm around him. Hokuto hugged him tightly. Subaru closed his eyes.
"Oh, Subaru," she sighed. "It's all right. You were confused. It's okay."
"No, it's not!" Subaru protested. "I betrayed Seishirou-san!"
"Subaru," Seishirou said calmly, "shut up."
Subaru looked at the former Sakurazukamori in surprise. Seishirou had never before told him to shut up. A pang of sadness hit his heart. Seishirou's eyes were closed and he was taking a drag on a freshly lit cigarette. Apparently, old habits die hard, even in the afterlife.
"It's not your fault, Subaru-kun," the older man said, blowing out smoke.
"But it was!" Subaru argued. "I didn't…I didn't even fight back!"
"Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, looking at his opposite, "it was not your fault. Fuuma has a warped ability to take what you want and twist it so he can get into your pants. Trust me. He tried it on me every chance he got."
Subaru sniffled. He wiped his eye with his palm. "Seishirou-san…"
"What is it, Subaru-kun?"
"I'm sorry."
Seishirou looked at Subaru, flicked away his cigarette and gently kissed the younger man. It was a quick, forgiving kiss and it made melt.
"It's okay, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, ending the kiss. "Just be a little more careful around Fuuma."
Subaru nodded. He leaned in as Seishirou kissed him again, this time longer, more passionate, and, on Subaru's part, more desperate. A couple long moments, Seishirou broke away. Subaru looked at the older man, the pain and the guilt gone.
"You two are so adorable," Hokuto sighed. Then she glared at Seishirou pointedly. "If only Sei-chan hadn't gone and committed suicide using my little brother as a weapon."
"Hokuto-chan," Subaru said, looking pained, "could you please not bring that up?"
"Oh, right!" Hokuto exclaimed. "Sorry!"
"How about some tea?" Seishirou asked, trying to change the subject.
"Oh, yeah!" Hokuto laughed. "Silly me, I forgot!"
Subaru smiled at his sister. It wasn't a smile like had back nine years ago, but a smile nonetheless. He shifted his position and leaned into Seishirou's embrace, glad to be with Seishirou and Hokuto, even if it were only a dream.
Subaru spent the next morning doing pretty much nothing. He was content for now. His tension had been relieved, the guilt he had felt had been washed away by Seishirou during the dream, and he was feeling better. He decided to take the day off. He wouldn't do any work that day.
:I'm hungry: the Tree said.
:Tough: was Subaru's reply, as he sank down on the sofa, a book in hand. Sei jumped into the young man's lap, curling up and closing her eyes. Subaru smiled softly at the kitten and then turned to his book.
About an hour and a half later, the doorbell rang. Subaru groaned, set his book down and coaxed a reluctant Sei from her nap. He stood up and went to the door. He looked through the peephole and muttered an obscenity when he saw Fuuma standing there.
"Go away," he called.
"We need to talk," Fuuma replied.
"No thanks," Subaru said, locking the door for good measure.
"Open the door," Fuuma ordered.
Subaru ignored him. He went over to the sofa and sat down, turning on the radio as loud as he could stand. He barely heard Fuuma knock loudly. He didn't care. At least, not until the Dark Kamui was standing in front of him.
"Did you forget that I have a key?" the younger man asked.
Subaru ignored him, turning back to his book. Fuuma, growing irritated, snatched the book from his hands and threw it across the room. He also grabbed the remote and shut off the radio.
"Hey!" Subaru protested.
"You're lagging behind, Subaru-kun," Fuuma told him. "It's your turn to get rid of a kekkai."
"Not today," Subaru retorted. "I have plans."
"You're lying."
"No, I'm not. I plan to do nothing."
Fuuma frowned. "You're so irritating."
"That's not what you were thinking last night," Subaru said. "Or were you too busy fucking my brains out that you weren't thinking at all?"
Fuuma raised a fist to back hand him, but thought differently when Subaru flinched away. He took advantage of the situation and straddled the older man quickly. Subaru struggled, but Fuuma refused to move. He took hold of Subaru's wrists and held them above the older man's head as he leaned down to kiss him.
Subaru angrily bit at Fuuma's tongue when it pushed its way into his mouth. He didn't bite hard enough to draw blood, but he was satisfied when the Dark Kamui withdrew. He tried once more to knock the teenager off of him, but in vain. Fuuma remained on top of him.
"A tad on the feisty side today, aren't you?" he asked.
"Get the hell away from me!" Subaru snapped, struggling against Fuuma. "I hate you! Get away from me!"
"Don't be like that, Subaru-kun," Fuuma said, slipping a hand beneath Subaru's shirt.
Subaru let out a choked protest as the younger man's hand ran over his chest. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He felt Fuuma's hand slip down to his lower stomach and then unbutton his pants.
"Let me go!" he shouted. "Let me go!"
"Excuse me," a new voice said.
Fuuma looked up to see a young-looking man. He had pale hair and his eyes were a soft gray color with a tinge of pink. His wardrobe was simple: black slacks with a gray turtleneck. A dark gray sports jacket completed the ensemble. The man had a pleasant grin on his face.
"Sorry to interrupt," he said. His voice was cheerful, yet had a slightly dangerous tone. "But that's my master you're molesting. Do you mind stopping?"
Fuuma's eyes narrowed at the newcomer. "And you are?"
"The Tree," the man replied simply. "Now if you wouldn't mind…"
Fuuma rolled his eyes. He rose off Subaru and stood. He turned to the former Sumeragi. "I'll see you later, Subaru-kun. I expect a kekkai destroyed tomorrow."
With that, the Dark Kamui left. Subaru let his breathing return to normal, and then sat up, redoing the button on his pants. He looked to the Tree.
"Thank you," he said.
"Not a problem," it replied. "You shouldn't let him do that to you."
"I tried to fight him off," Subaru said in defense. He felt tears well up in his eyes. "I tried."
The illusionary man went over and sat next to Subaru. He put his arms around the Sakurazukamori. "It's okay. I know you tried."
Subaru was silent for a minute as he fought back tears. After a while, he stood up. The Tree looked at him.
"Where are you going?" it asked.
"I need to take a walk," was Subaru's reply. He got his jacket, pulled on his shoes and headed outside.
He picked a random direction. Following it, Subaru just walked. No set destination in mind. He just needed to be alone; alone with his thoughts. His mind dwelled on memories of his life back before everything happened. Back when Seishirou and Hokuto were both still alive. He had been happy back then, when he had no clue who Seishirou really was.
Suddenly, Subaru ran into someone. The young woman stumbled backwards and Subaru reached out to help her regain her balance. He looked at her face and noticed a pale scar down the left side of her face.
It couldn't be…he thought.
"Su-Sumeragi…kun?" the young woman asked. "Is…is that you?"
"Hashimoto-san," Subaru replied. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"
Hashimoto Kuniko nodded. "Almost ten years." She gave him a soft smile. "My apartment isn't far from here. Would you like to join me for some tea? We could talk for a while."
"Sure," Subaru shrugged.
"Is something wrong?" Kuniko asked, leading Subaru to her apartment. "You don't seem like the Subaru I remember."
"A lot of things have changed about me, Hashimoto-san," Subaru said, sadness filling his voice.
A few minutes later, they reached an apartment complex. Kuniko led Subaru up the stairs to the third floor, then over to her apartment. She unlocked the door and asked Subaru to come inside. Subaru stepped inside and removed his shoes.
"So, how have you been?" Subaru asked.
"Oh, can't complain," Kuniko replied, heading into the kitchen. "I hope you don't mind decaf."
"I don't mind."
"Okay," she said, going about making tea. "I just got my bachelor's degree in art."
"Congratulations," Subaru said.
"Thanks."
Subaru looked around the apartment. There was a photo on the wall of Kuniko with a toddler in her arms. He went over and looked at it as Kuniko came out with two mugs of tea.
"That's my son, Tsukasa," she said, noticing Subaru inspecting the photo. "He just turned three last month. His father is going to be bringing him home in a little while."
"You're married, now?"
"No. Hiroto and I got divorced last year. It just wasn't working out."
"I see," Subaru said, taking the tea Kuniko offered.
The two of them sat down at the table. Kuniko gave Subaru a soft smile.
"How have you been?" the young woman asked. "Is your sister doing well?"
Subaru looked pained. "No. Hokuto-chan…she was killed several years ago."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Kuniko said, softly.
"And I recently lost someone else who was…special to me."
"Oh, my," Kuniko said. "I'm so sorry, Subaru-san."
Subaru looked down at his tea. Kuniko looked at the young man who had once been her friend. She couldn't even begin to imagine the pain he was going through.
"Is it okay if I give you a hug?" she asked.
Subaru gave a slight nod. Kuniko set her tea down, stood up, and went over to Subaru. She put her arms around him and hugged him.
"I'm so sorry," she said. "You must be in so much pain, losing two people who were so close to you."
Subaru nodded. Kuniko released him from her embrace then sat back down. She felt so sad for the young man sitting across from her. She noticed something about Subaru's gaze.
"Your eye…" she whispered.
"Lost it in an…accident…" Subaru lied. He didn't want Kuniko to know the truth about how he had lost it. It would confuse her. "I recently received this one from Seishirou-san. He had arranged it so that I would receive his good eye after he died."
"Is he the one who was…special?" Kuniko asked.
Subaru nodded. He held back tears. "I…it was my fault that he died."
"That can't be true, Subaru-san…"
Subaru shook his head. "I killed him…" he whispered. He stood up, his tea half-finished. "I'm sorry, Hashimoto-san, I have to go."
"Wait," Kuniko said. She stood up and disappeared into another room. Moments later, she returned. She held out a handkerchief to Subaru. He took it from her with a confused look on his face.
"It's yours," Kuniko said. "Remember? I told you that I would return it one day, when I was stronger."
Subaru reflected. Yes, Kuniko had said that she would return it when she was stronger. He thanked her and slipped it into his pocket. He turned and went to the door. He pulled his shoes on and opened the door. There was a man on the other side, who looked as though he was just about to knock on the door. A toddler with messy black hair stood clinging to the man's hand.
"Uhh…" the man said, confused.
"I'm sorry," Subaru said, apathetically. "I was just on my way out."
"Are you 'Kaa-san's new guy?" the little boy asked.
"Tsukasa, that's a rude thing to ask," Kuniko said. She turned to Subaru. "I'm sorry about him, Subaru-san."
"It's okay. He's a cute kid."
"A-ano…I guess…I'll see you around, Subaru-san."
Subaru nodded. "Perhaps."
With that, he left. Kuniko watched him as he headed down the hall and out of sight.
Author's Note: Well. That was unexpected. I just randomly threw Kuniko-san in there. If anyone is confused about who she is, read Tokyo Babylon volume five "Save.B" and discover.
Subaru's Voice: I know you didn't like the FxS, but I'm sorry. I had to do it. Blame the twisted pervert part of me. And my muses. It's all Orion's fault, damn it! Blame him! >
SuperSeme Fuuma: Thanks for your review! And for helping me with everything. Evne though you didn't find anything wrong! I'm glad you like Sei. She's just too cute. I couldn't help putting her in!
Chris Pwure: Sorry, hon. Fuuma's just going to bea little bastard for a couple more chapters. Seishirou, however...I'm not sure whether or not I'm going to make him appear after this chapter. It depends on whether or not I feel like being a bitch to him.
Hiruka-chan: Hai! Fuuma the Whore. That's what I was aiming for!
Mikazuki: Yes. Updates! And thanks for pointing out that mistake for me. Evil spell-check ouldn't catch that, you're right. Oh, well. Still. Thanks!
Sapadu: JACKIE! ((glomps)) Yes, writing FxS makes you feel dirty. > But thanks for telling me I have guts.
foxy-comic-death: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like this fic. Here's an update for you!