Wants
He stared at his mother's office door. He'd been staring for the past ten minutes. He really should knock at some point. Like now. Or now. Or even-
The door opened, and his mother started. "Dustin?"
"Can we talk?"
She smiled warmly. "Of course, Darling. Come in."
He closed the door behind him, hesitating again before slipping into the seat at her desk. He had to do this. It was time.
"What did you need to talk about?"
He fidgeted. "I, uh...um...I l-like-"
"Calm down, Dearest." she chided. "You're stuttering again. Breathe. Remember your speech therapy?"
Man, did he ever. He hated that weirdo who said he couldn't talk right. Always snapping at him, telling him to breathe and think before he spoke. To behave like a 'proper gentleman'. It was part of the reason he deliberately sounded like an airhead at every opportunity.
But then, that was why he was here, wasn't he?
He bit his lip and stared at the ground. "I'm sorry." he said at last, voice soft.
He could almost sense her puzzled stare. "Sorry for what?"
"I'm not you."
That confused tittering laugh she made when she didn't understand. "What do you mean?"
He closed his eyes, wishing he was anywhere but here. His mom may be strange and weird sometimes, but she was his mom. She'd always done what she thought was best for him. Just because he didn't like it didn't mean the motherly concern wasn't there. And here he was, throwing it all back in her face. How could he do this to her? Why on earth would he?
An image came to mind.
His resolve firmed, and now he forced himself to look her in the eyes. "I'm not you, Mom." he repeated. "I don't like to dress nice, I hate going to the country club, I don't like smoozing people. I hate this huge house because it feels more like a museum than a home. I don't want the money, or the cars, or the fancy parties."
She watched him with that plastic smile, trying to hide the fear in her eyes. She already knew what he was trying to say; she just wouldn't admit it. "Then what do you want?"
"I want to get dirty." he stated firmly. "I want to ruin my clothes and not care. I want to talk like normal people do, even if I stutter sometimes. I want to hang out with my friends, become a strong Ninja, and work hard for a living. I want to be around people who like me for who I am, not who I pretend to be. I want to earn stuff for myself, Mom." He hesitated, swallowing hard. "I want to live with Shane."
Silence.
There was a long moment as they just stared at one another. At last she nodded slowly. "If that's what you really want." She bit her lip. "I can't change what's already happened Dustin, but I can promise that I'll stay out of your life from now on."
"Who said I wanted you to do that?" he demanded. "I don't want to cut you out of my life just because I love Shane. I mean, I still want to do Double Duty and take The Pack to the vet and stuff. I just...I just can't live here anymore." He hesitated, fear creeping back. "Do you want me out?"
"Of course not!" she said sharply, looking upset that he'd even suggested it. The anger faded from her face as they continued to look at each other. "I've really ruined things between us, haven't I?" she asked finally, her voice soft.
His heart broke at the look on her face. He tried and failed to keep his voice from cracking when he spoke. "That's not the point, Mom. I just...I don't want the things you want. I need to find my own way in life, ya know?"
She nodded, biting her lip. "I-is there anything I can do? Anything at all?"
He shook his head. "Thanks, but I really want to do it on my own."
Another nod, and more silence.
"Are you mad?" he asked quietly.
"Disappointed." she admitted, "But then it's my own fault, isn't it?"
"It's not your fault." he protested. "That's just how stuff worked out."
"I didn't exactly help anything."
"Mom, it's okay!" he insisted. "We're cool now! Really!"
She raised an eyebrow. "Because I agreed to let you keep living with Shane?"
He shook his head. "Because you're...because you're being so nice. About everything." he confessed. "I was afraid you'd hate me."
She pushed herself to her feet, hurrying around the table to pull him into a tight hug. "You'll always be my baby. I'm never going to stop loving you, Wally."
"Mom..." he wheezed. "Air...."
She relaxed her grip with an embarrassed "Sorry."
He frowned. "And don't call me Wally."
She rolled her eyes. "Dustin. Fine. But you're still my baby." she sniffed, finally beginning to sound like herself again. "Darling, won't you at least let me buy you a house?"
"Mo-om..."
"You could keep The Pack if you had a house." she wheedled.
He paused. "I'll think about it."
More silence, but this time it was a comfortable one. "So how are things with Shane?" she asked, moving to sit back on the desk so she could watch him better.
He fidgeted. "Okay."
"Are you lying?"
He shook his head vehemently. "They're really okay." he insisted. Her stare didn't waver, and he squirmed again. He was horrible at keeping things from her. "They're just not better than okay." he muttered finally.
"What's wrong?"
He hesitated. "We're not really seriously fighting or anything. But we're not...we're...man, I can't talk about this with my mom!" he whined.
She laughed, clapping her hands in realization. "You're having intimacy problems!"
"Mom!"
She tried to reign in her laughter, managing to smother it down to just a small smile. "Darling, there's nothing wrong with taking a relationship slowly, especially in your case. It's hard to be more than friends when you've been friends for so long, isn't it?"
He nodded unwillingly. "What if something goes wrong?" he whispered. "I don't want Shane to stop being my friend. I've known him forever. I can't picture being without him. What if I screw up and he never wants to talk to me again or something?" He ran a hand through his hair in agitation. "I couldn't deal with it."
She caught his hand on the way back down, smiling gently at him. "That's your answer right there, Darling. If you didn't worry about your friendship, then it wouldn't work out. But this is really something you should be discussing with Shane. I'm pretty sure he feels the same way you do."
"How do you know for sure?"
She chuckled. "I've known you two since you met in the sandbox at the park, remember? I know how much your friendship means to both of you." Her smile softened. "I'm glad you have such wonderful friends, Dustin."
"Me, too." he agreed quietly, feeling infinitely better than he had earlier. He stood impulsively to hug her again. "Thanks, Mom. I love you."
"I love you, Darling."
Outside of the door, neither of them saw the pair listening in. One grinned in triumph. The other however, blinked back angry tears, running down the hall.
He stared at his mother's office door. He'd been staring for the past ten minutes. He really should knock at some point. Like now. Or now. Or even-
The door opened, and his mother started. "Dustin?"
"Can we talk?"
She smiled warmly. "Of course, Darling. Come in."
He closed the door behind him, hesitating again before slipping into the seat at her desk. He had to do this. It was time.
"What did you need to talk about?"
He fidgeted. "I, uh...um...I l-like-"
"Calm down, Dearest." she chided. "You're stuttering again. Breathe. Remember your speech therapy?"
Man, did he ever. He hated that weirdo who said he couldn't talk right. Always snapping at him, telling him to breathe and think before he spoke. To behave like a 'proper gentleman'. It was part of the reason he deliberately sounded like an airhead at every opportunity.
But then, that was why he was here, wasn't he?
He bit his lip and stared at the ground. "I'm sorry." he said at last, voice soft.
He could almost sense her puzzled stare. "Sorry for what?"
"I'm not you."
That confused tittering laugh she made when she didn't understand. "What do you mean?"
He closed his eyes, wishing he was anywhere but here. His mom may be strange and weird sometimes, but she was his mom. She'd always done what she thought was best for him. Just because he didn't like it didn't mean the motherly concern wasn't there. And here he was, throwing it all back in her face. How could he do this to her? Why on earth would he?
An image came to mind.
His resolve firmed, and now he forced himself to look her in the eyes. "I'm not you, Mom." he repeated. "I don't like to dress nice, I hate going to the country club, I don't like smoozing people. I hate this huge house because it feels more like a museum than a home. I don't want the money, or the cars, or the fancy parties."
She watched him with that plastic smile, trying to hide the fear in her eyes. She already knew what he was trying to say; she just wouldn't admit it. "Then what do you want?"
"I want to get dirty." he stated firmly. "I want to ruin my clothes and not care. I want to talk like normal people do, even if I stutter sometimes. I want to hang out with my friends, become a strong Ninja, and work hard for a living. I want to be around people who like me for who I am, not who I pretend to be. I want to earn stuff for myself, Mom." He hesitated, swallowing hard. "I want to live with Shane."
Silence.
There was a long moment as they just stared at one another. At last she nodded slowly. "If that's what you really want." She bit her lip. "I can't change what's already happened Dustin, but I can promise that I'll stay out of your life from now on."
"Who said I wanted you to do that?" he demanded. "I don't want to cut you out of my life just because I love Shane. I mean, I still want to do Double Duty and take The Pack to the vet and stuff. I just...I just can't live here anymore." He hesitated, fear creeping back. "Do you want me out?"
"Of course not!" she said sharply, looking upset that he'd even suggested it. The anger faded from her face as they continued to look at each other. "I've really ruined things between us, haven't I?" she asked finally, her voice soft.
His heart broke at the look on her face. He tried and failed to keep his voice from cracking when he spoke. "That's not the point, Mom. I just...I don't want the things you want. I need to find my own way in life, ya know?"
She nodded, biting her lip. "I-is there anything I can do? Anything at all?"
He shook his head. "Thanks, but I really want to do it on my own."
Another nod, and more silence.
"Are you mad?" he asked quietly.
"Disappointed." she admitted, "But then it's my own fault, isn't it?"
"It's not your fault." he protested. "That's just how stuff worked out."
"I didn't exactly help anything."
"Mom, it's okay!" he insisted. "We're cool now! Really!"
She raised an eyebrow. "Because I agreed to let you keep living with Shane?"
He shook his head. "Because you're...because you're being so nice. About everything." he confessed. "I was afraid you'd hate me."
She pushed herself to her feet, hurrying around the table to pull him into a tight hug. "You'll always be my baby. I'm never going to stop loving you, Wally."
"Mom..." he wheezed. "Air...."
She relaxed her grip with an embarrassed "Sorry."
He frowned. "And don't call me Wally."
She rolled her eyes. "Dustin. Fine. But you're still my baby." she sniffed, finally beginning to sound like herself again. "Darling, won't you at least let me buy you a house?"
"Mo-om..."
"You could keep The Pack if you had a house." she wheedled.
He paused. "I'll think about it."
More silence, but this time it was a comfortable one. "So how are things with Shane?" she asked, moving to sit back on the desk so she could watch him better.
He fidgeted. "Okay."
"Are you lying?"
He shook his head vehemently. "They're really okay." he insisted. Her stare didn't waver, and he squirmed again. He was horrible at keeping things from her. "They're just not better than okay." he muttered finally.
"What's wrong?"
He hesitated. "We're not really seriously fighting or anything. But we're not...we're...man, I can't talk about this with my mom!" he whined.
She laughed, clapping her hands in realization. "You're having intimacy problems!"
"Mom!"
She tried to reign in her laughter, managing to smother it down to just a small smile. "Darling, there's nothing wrong with taking a relationship slowly, especially in your case. It's hard to be more than friends when you've been friends for so long, isn't it?"
He nodded unwillingly. "What if something goes wrong?" he whispered. "I don't want Shane to stop being my friend. I've known him forever. I can't picture being without him. What if I screw up and he never wants to talk to me again or something?" He ran a hand through his hair in agitation. "I couldn't deal with it."
She caught his hand on the way back down, smiling gently at him. "That's your answer right there, Darling. If you didn't worry about your friendship, then it wouldn't work out. But this is really something you should be discussing with Shane. I'm pretty sure he feels the same way you do."
"How do you know for sure?"
She chuckled. "I've known you two since you met in the sandbox at the park, remember? I know how much your friendship means to both of you." Her smile softened. "I'm glad you have such wonderful friends, Dustin."
"Me, too." he agreed quietly, feeling infinitely better than he had earlier. He stood impulsively to hug her again. "Thanks, Mom. I love you."
"I love you, Darling."
Outside of the door, neither of them saw the pair listening in. One grinned in triumph. The other however, blinked back angry tears, running down the hall.