A/N: Okay, kiddies… Some of you were very angry that I left the last chapter as a cliffhanger, but you'll see why soon enough. A warning however, that this chapter contains heavy innuendo – just a word of caution for those of you who are particularly young.
And by the way… this is NOT my typical turn-around time for a new chapter, as many of you already know. This is the result of me not wanting to study for my history and sociology finals (which I did marvelously on anyway). So don't expect too much of me next time. There are my two disclaimers.
I'll give props to anyone who recognizes the title of this chapter and what it means in context… um, without Googling it… Haha. Now enjoy!
The Broken Miko
Chapter 17: Paradise by the Dashboard Light
The dew settled onto her ears and hair, weighing them down with the water. A draft snaked around her waist and hips as she shifted into a more comfortable position and wrapped her arms around her body. She could feel the early morning sunlight warm her face, despite the autumn season. Although she knew she should wake up, her body cried out to stay, to curl up and sleep forever.
She moved again to rest on her back, but this time, a dull pain clenched at her lower abdomen. Moaning in protest, her eyes fluttered open to see a patch of sky instead of the usual boughs of a cozy tree.
"It is time to return to the others."
Kagome shot upright, clutching at the robe around her shoulders. Sesshoumaru was sitting a few feet away, bare-chested and with his tail sprawling out to warm her bare legs. Looking down, she realized she was covered by his upper kimono, its red sakura design stretching over her entire right torso. Underneath, she was completely nude.
A flood of memories wiped away her morning amnesia. The kiss… and what followed.
She stood up, pushing away Sesshoumaru's tail, and immediately regretted it as another pain shot through her body.
"You should not move so quickly."
The half-demon didn't answer as she moved around the clearing, collecting parts of her yukata, her underwear and Tetsusaiga, sitting quietly at the base of the tree where Sesshoumaru had kissed her. She held her clothes for a few moments before looking up at the taiyoukai. As usual, his face held no emotion. Kagome breathed deeply and asked him to turn around.
He arched an eyebrow. "Hardly necessary. I have already seen your…"
"Just turn around!" interrupted the hanyou vehemently.
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes, but turned away as requested. After several minutes of listening to her muttered curses and the rustling of fabric, he was allowed to face the hanyou once again. She was clothed in her previous day's outfit, now wrinkled and rather dirt-stained. Her hair was still tussled and a few blades of grass mingled with her red and black tresses. "Are you prepared to return then?" he asked, picking up his kimono from where Kagome had discarded it. It had her scent imbedded within it, the intoxicating aroma of mandarin oranges.
"No."
He stood up and began to put on his armor over his clothes. "Was there something else you are missing?"
"No." She was standing in one place, staring at the ground, with her hand on Tetsusaiga.
The taiyoukai slid his swords underneath his sash and looked over at Kagome. "What is wrong?"
The question seemed to flip a switch. The hanyou whirled around, a snarl painted on her face. "Is something wrong? How dare you ask me that!"
He mentally sighed. "I cannot read minds, Kagome."
She flattened her ears and rubbed her temples. "Do you have any conception of what happened here last night? Can't you smell it? Sex. Lust. It's everywhere, even in my hair and clothes."
"I still do not see the problem."
"Are you insane?" Kagome yelled, almost loud enough to make his ears bleed. "You don't see the problem with us sleeping together?"
Sesshoumaru shrugged. "No, I do not. I have chosen you to be my mate."
She stared at him, disbelieving. "Excuse me? I'm half human, or don't you remember that?"
"I do, but I have decided to overlook that particular imperfection," he replied. "You will bear strong pups for the West and you are very good with the children. And you cannot deny the fact that we have a particularly strong physical connection."
"You are Inuyasha's brother!"
He scowled at her stricken expression. "You knew that last night as well. I do not see how that has any bearing on our behavior."
She stamped her foot like an overgrown child. "How can you not? He's back, Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha is back from the dead and he loves me still. How could I have betrayed him?" she pled, tears beginning to leak from her eyes. "He comes back and the first thing I do is have sex with his brother!" She collapsed onto the ground. "How will he ever forgive me? How can I forgive myself?"
Sesshoumaru walked forward, grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet. "Inuyasha does not love you. He hates you and he will do anything to break us apart, so that we will be weak on our own."
Kagome sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "How would you know?"
"I deplore my brother's presence, but even I can see that he would not treat you in such a way if he loved you." He took her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him. "I will treat you well. You will be the Lady of the Western Lands and the mother of powerful heirs."
She pushed at his chest and he released her. "Be quiet, Sesshoumaru. You don't know what you're talking about. At the end of the day, when your hormones aren't raging, you'll remember that I was once human. And my human blood still flows in my veins."
"I told you that I was willing to ignore your human blood."
"How can you ignore half of your mate?" Kagome snapped. "You're going to regret this, Sesshoumaru."
He narrowed his eyes at her expression and scent. "Just as you regret it now?"
"A few days ago, you were in bed with Nami!" she shrieked. "You were asking her to be your mate. She was the suitable one."
"I never asked her to be my mate," he pointed out, willing himself not to hold his ears against her wails. "I have asked you."
"Do you love me, Sesshoumaru?"
Slight panic washed through his heart for a moment. He expected this question and had even prepared for it, but now that it faced him, his words ran dry. "You once said that I am not capable of love," he said finally, watching her apprehensive expression fall into one of sadness.
"Of course. Perhaps you aren't," she replied dully and covering her face with her hands. "Either way, this was the biggest mistake of my life."
Sesshoumaru frowned. None of the other females had ever complained. Several of them couldn't even speak afterwards, which he always proudly considered a testament to his skill. "A mistake," he repeated slowly.
"Let's see… I wait for years to be with Inuyasha, he dies, he comes back and then I give my virginity to his brother instead. Yeah, I would call that a huge mistake!" Her eyes were on fire with anger and fear.
He was beginning to become thoroughly annoyed with her. "I did not force you to do anything. This was mutual, Kagome."
"Did I say this was your fault? No, this is mine. I shouldn't have done it." She took a deep breath and said what she had been thinking about from the moment she noticed her attraction to the taiyoukai. "I shouldn't have saved you from that dungeon. I only… I only…" She lost her courage and looked up at the dog demon.
"Proceed," he said, forcing the word out, although he was certain he didn't want to hear the rest of the sentence.
"I only saved you because I wanted a reminder of Inuyasha!" she cried out.
They stared at one another for a long, awkward moment. Although his face was impassive, Kagome saw a myriad of emotions flash through his eyes. Most painful was the expression of realization and betrayal. It cut her heart in half.
"I'm so sorry. I was just being honest. I didn't want to hurt you," she whispered.
His golden eyes ceased their transformations. Kagome was terrified to see that they settled upon rage. "You are mistaken. I am not hurt. A half-breed like you could never hurt me," he replied with a tone of ice.
She took a risk and continued to speak. "But… obviously I have. You asked me to be your mate and I rejected your offer."
"That is of no importance to me. I withdraw the offer," he said, narrowing his eyes at her. "You were suitable, but I will easily find a female who is more experienced in state and… personal matters."
It took a moment for his meaning to sink in, but it hit her with the force of a gale. He was insulting her for her lack of expertise in bed? Kagome couldn't remember the last time she had been so offended, or the last time concern had been so quickly replaced with fury. "You bastard," she seethed. She moved to leave the clearing, but paused and turned back. "If you ever wonder why everyone in Japan detests you so much, remember this moment, Sesshoumaru. This is why you have no friends and this is why you'll never find your perfect female mate. I've always known that you were alone, but realize that it is your own doing."
Kagome turned away and began to walk quickly back to the camp. Her sensitive hearing told her that the taiyoukai remained behind, standing in the clearing alone, but she fought the urge to look back to make sure. She just wanted to get back to the camp, fetch her belongings and leave as rapidly as possible. It would hurt to leave Rin and Washi, but it would be necessary, even if she didn't think her heart could survive another wound.
She replayed their entire conversation in her head, analyzing each part in excruciating detail, but not receiving any comfort.
'I have chosen you to be my mate.'
'You once said that I am not capable of love.'The two sentences were so contradictory in her mind that she couldn't understand them. The offer to be his mate was real, she was certain, but did he lie about his capability to love? Did she really tell him that he wasn't capable of love? It hurt her to think that she has said such a thing to the dog demon that had taken her into his home and watched over her.
She began to run, as fast as she could with her demon speed, trying to erase everything from her memory and yet failing. Tears threatened to fall again, but she wouldn't let them, not until she had said her good-byes to the children. She just hoped that Sesshoumaru wouldn't beat her there, because then she would cry no matter what happened.
Skidding to a stop, she looked around the camp she had left the previous evening. Keitaro and Jaken were speaking quietly as they stoked the fire while the children slept nearby. The demons looked up as she walked forward, furrowing their brows as they took in her appearance.
The celestial stood up and bit his lip for a moment before speaking. "My lady, are you alright?"
Kagome tried to conjure up indignation at his question, but only succeeded in tiring herself out even more. "I'm sure you can guess how I am at the moment, Keitaro. Forgive me, but I don't feel like talking just now."
"Of course, my lady. I understand."
She silently thanked him for not saying out loud what he was able to smell on her body. As she moved over to her belongings, Kagome saw that the children had opened their eyes and were staring at her with concern. "Hi, guys. Did you sleep alright?"
Rin nodded. "Kagura-san had to leave, but Jaken and Keitaro-san stayed with us until we fell asleep. Keitaro-san knows many wonderful stories."
"I would imagine," she replied. "Keitaro?"
"Yes, my lady?"
"Will you stay with the children and Sesshoumaru-sama for awhile longer? I would like for them to have as much protection as possible." She looked over at toad. "No offense meant, Jaken."
"Meh." He didn't look at her, a sign that his nose was just as good as Keitaro's.
"I would be honored, my lady, to fulfill your wish. Forgive me for prying, but they will still have you to guard them, correct?"
Kagome shook her head. "No, I'm leaving. I can't stay with you guys anymore. Sorry."
Washi jumped up and clutched her wrist. "Mama, you can't leave! Please, don't."
She stroked his cinnamon-colored hair. "I have to, Washi. I'm so sorry, but Sesshoumaru-sama and I have reached a point where we must part ways. I want you to stay with him. He will be able to protect you much better than I ever could, and Rin would be lonely without you."
The eagle child and the human girl looked at each other, making a silent decision. He looked up at Kagome again. "I'm going with you, Mama. Rin and I talked about it last night and we said that if you and Sesshoumaru-sama split up, that I would go with you."
"No, Washi. I won't allow it."
He tugged on her arm again. "Please, Mama, I'll do anything."
She lifted him off the ground and hugged him tightly. "No, darling. I'm not bargaining about this with you when your life is on the line. You could get very badly hurt if you came with me. Stay with Sesshoumaru-sama, where you're safe."
The eagle demon's wings stretched and wrapped themselves around her. "I don't want to lose another mother. I would rather go with you and risk my health than not know what's happening to you. Rin already told me that she'll be okay. She feels the same way about Sesshoumaru-sama. She would never let him leave her."
"But he keeps her safe."
"And you can keep me safe too, Mama. I've seen you fight. You're good. I'll stay out of the way. I promise."
Kagome sighed and squeezed him a bit harder. "Okay, but you have to be careful. You have to do exactly what I say, the moment I say it. I'm not taking any chances with you."
"Yes, Mama."
She set him down and waited for his wings to uncurl before hugging the little girl. "Be good, Rin-chan."
Rin nodded against her shoulder before letting go. Tears lined the small child's eyes so that speaking would make them fall.
Kagome picked up her backpack, and patted Ah-Un a fond good-bye while the children said farewell. She nodded to Keitaro once more and began to walk out of the camp towards the southeast. Washi followed alongside, looking back towards Rin and waving furiously.
Finally, the camp was out of sight and they picked up their pace. "This isn't going to be easy without Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome pointed out. "I plan to kill Kikyo. It'll be dangerous."
Washi nodded. He was highly aware of the peril they were headed towards, but he was also pleased to be with his mother. He hadn't truly expected her to accept his offer of coming along. On the other hand, he knew something was wrong. Without the traditional demon sense of smell, he was quite adept at reading expressions and something about his mama made Keitaro very concerned and very nervous. Jaken was angry and disappointed, and Kagome was despairing beyond words. "Mama?"
"Yes?"
"Did something happen between you and Sesshoumaru-sama?"
Kagome closed her eyes for a moment. "I told you already, Washi. Sesshoumaru and I have just reached a point where we cannot work together anymore. You don't need to know the details."
"Okay…" he muttered. "Does it have something to do with Inuyasha coming back?"
"To a certain extent. I really don't want to talk about it."
Washi nodded and fell silent.
Kagome sighed. "It's just that… I was in love with Inuyasha for years. He was supposed to be 'the one', the person I would spend the rest of my life with. When he died, I just…"
"Went crazy?"
The hanyou rolled her eyes and gave him a half-smile. "Cute, but yes, I suppose that would be the term most people would use. I admit that I wasn't totally sane for awhile there, but I eventually got over it." She lifted her hand to her forehead and it came away sweat-covered. "Although last night might not have been the best treatment for not going wacko again. I feel like I have no soul."
Washi took her hand in his own. "It's okay, Mama. Everything will be okay."
"I'm not so sure, kiddo."
"Sure we will. If we get in trouble, Sesshoumaru-sama will come and save us," he said with confidence.
Kagome frowned and looked down upon her young ward. "What makes you say that?"
"Well, he promised, remember? Kagura-san said that he promised that he would protect you forever and that he would teach you how to defend yourself. He wouldn't leave you…" he trailed off and frowned. "What's the word she used? Vel… no, val… vul… vul…"
"Vulnerable?"
"Yeah, that's it. Weird word, but she said that Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't leave you like that."
Kagome sighed again. "That's what I'm trying to tell you, Washi. I don't think that that promise really applies to me anymore."
"Why not? He promised!"
His claws were beginning to dig into her hand with his anxiety, but she didn't point it out. The dull physical pain took some focus off the sharp pain in her chest. "Sometimes people break their promises, Washi. I don't blame him for breaking his promise to me, either. In fact, I expected it after what I did."
"What did you do, Mama? Did you hurt him?"
She nodded. "Sort of, yes. He asked me to be his mate and I told him that I couldn't. I don't think he liked my answer. We got into a fight."
Washi considered her words, slipping his hand out of hers. "Why didn't you say yes?"
"Inuyasha's alive."
He shrugged. "But you love Sesshoumaru-sama, don't you?"
Kagome didn't say anything and when Washi looked up, her face was a stone mask, unmoving and unfeeling.
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Washi's head settled into the crook of Kagome's neck as she walked with him in her arms. She was thoroughly thankful for her demon strength, or his weight would have tired her out long ago.
She straightened out a few crooked feathers in his right wing, smiling at how he tucked them closer to his body after she was done. He was a good kid and adorable enough to rival any child, human or demon. For the millionth time, the hanyou wondered why it had taken her so long to warm up to him. He reminded her of Shippo, that much was obvious, but they were far from the same demon. Shippo was smart and fun-loving, but he had always been a bit naïve, as most children were. Washi… Washi had something her grandfather called an 'old soul'. She knew that he didn't say half the wise words he thought. His emerald colored eyes held more knowledge than most adults she knew.
They were both children, both energetic and stubborn, both green-eyed and small for their age. But there was no denying that they were different. The base of their personalities was so unique from each other that the association between them had all but faded from her mind.
She stopped and looked down at the eagle demon again, with his slow, deep breaths tickling her neck. If she could see the difference between the two children that had graced her with the title of 'mama', why couldn't she see the difference between two brothers that were so unique that they could have come from different planets? Inuyasha had been so coarse, but with that proverbial 'heart of gold' that would shine through when it was necessary. Sesshoumaru, on the other hand, was calm and collected with no heart of gold. He did what he wished, when he wished to do it. He was violent and cruel. His hatred of humans was legendary, which was surprising considering that he usually didn't leave any survivors to create such legends.
And yet, she loved him.
Well, she amended, she loved both of them, but Inuyasha was beginning to take a backseat to his elder brother. Sesshoumaru was right, after all. The male hanyou couldn't stay in this world as he was, insane and power-hungry. But what if he changed? Back to the Inuyasha that she once knew, back to the man she fell in love with. Then who would she choose?
The normal Inuyasha would never accept her again if he knew that she slept with Sesshoumaru. For him, the only thing worse would be to have had sex with Naraku himself. She was aware of the irony of the situation, considering that Inuyasha had always run off to be with Kikyo. He didn't sleep with her, but he had cut her deeply and knowingly.
But hadn't she known exactly what she was doing? She recalled the kiss, how he had just pulled her towards him and pressed his lips against hers. It had been amazing, there was no question about that. After a few moments of surprise, she had lifted her arms to wrap around his neck, to pull him closer to her body. She had known where it would lead. After all, they were in an isolated part of the forest, far from anything that could interrupt them. Kagome knew it was Sesshoumaru, not Inuyasha, that she was kissing. And yet, she hadn't stopped it. That had to say something about her relationship with him, the way she felt about the taiyoukai.
She still couldn't get past the fact that Inuyasha would be angry to the point of murder. He had been so protective, when Koga and other males had hovered around. And they did nothing but hold her hand or say a few charming phrases.
And Sesshoumaru had been so rude, that it made her question if she ever wanted to be with him, even if she admit to loving him. He expected her to say 'yes' when he asked her to be his mate. He expected it because he was Sesshoumaru. He was the Lord of the Western Lands and he got everything he had ever wished for. But she didn't want to be some prize up for grabs to the highest bidder. Love was important for her, on both sides of the equation. She didn't know if he loved her, but if he couldn't even admit it, she doubted that she would ever be happy with him.
Kagome shook her head. It didn't matter, she told herself. Both of them would reject her now. To Inuyasha, she would be tainted. His brother had touched her in ways that not even he had done in his first life. She wouldn't blame him for not forgiving her, especially when she had slept with him right after finding out about Inuyasha's resurrection.
To Sesshoumaru, she was the ultimate failure. She was a half-breed who dared to refuse a mating offer by the most eligible demon on the entire island. She insulted him, and he could never forgive that. For such a proud creature, Kagome was surprised he hadn't ripped her head off when she said 'no'.
She sighed heavily, trying to end her depressing thoughts.
Washi stirred, trying to tuck his head farther underneath her chin, and Kagome realized that she had been standing in one place for twenty minutes completely unaware of her surroundings. The sky above her was turning pink and orange as the sun began to set, telling her that it was time to find a secure place to sleep.
"Wake up, kiddo."
"Hmm?" He lifted his head and opened his bleary eyes. "Is everything okay, Mama?"
"Yeah, it's fine, but it's time to settle down for the night," she said, placing him on the ground. "We'll find a nice tree around here and I'll start a fire, okay? I'll try to scrounge up something for dinner too."
The eagle demon nodded, but frowned when he noticed her disheartened expression. "Okay. Is there anything I can do, Mama? To help?"
Kagome pulled out a canteen and handed it to him. "We need some water. Do you hear the stream flowing nearby? We've been walking alongside it for most of the day."
Washi nodded. "Yeah, I hear it."
She ruffled his hair. "Good, just be careful, okay? Don't wander too far. If you hear or see anything out of the ordinary, just yell and I'll come get you. I don't smell any demons, but there are other dangerous things in the forest."
"Mama… I'll be fine," he huffed, reminding her with his exasperated tone that he would be a teenager in just a few short years.
"Hmm, okay. Go on then."
The eagle child wandered off with the canteen in his hands, happy that he could do something for his mother. The last remnants of sunlight filtered through the trees. The leaves were beginning to change color to fiery reds, oranges and yellows, creating a rainbow in the forest canopy. Washi wandered slowly towards the stream, reveling in the one quiet moment he had all day. As much as he loved his new mother, her despair and nervousness had even affected his dreams, pushing them into nightmare territory.
It was so heartbreaking to see her depressed again, when he had so hoped that she had healed and gone on to love Lord Sesshoumaru. He would do anything to see her real smile again, like he had seen when she was in the company of the taiyoukai.
He approached the stream slowly, looking side to side for any sign of danger but finding nothing but a few frogs and a couple sparrows darting around the bank. Pleased that he would get through this without making Kagome come save his life, he knelt beside the stream and unscrewed the lid of the canteen. When he looked up again, a beautiful woman was standing waist-deep in the water, looking at him. She looked much like Keitaro, with a pink translucent body and large, soulful eyes. Wrapped in silk, her white hair made her look like Lord Sesshoumaru's sister.
Washi gaped a bit before asking, "Who are you?"
She laughed, an intoxicating sound like chimes. "I'm a water sprite. My name is Oki."
He moved back from the edge a bit. "Like a demon?"
Oki laughed again and shook her head. "No, no. I'm a sprite. We inhabit lakes, streams and rivers. Some of my distant cousins inhabit very old trees and forests. We protect them."
Washi clutched the canteen to his chest. "Oh, okay. Sorry. I'll just tell Mama that I couldn't find the stream. I'm sorry I disturbed you."
She reached out with her hand and touched him on the forearm with her cool, damp fingertips. "Don't be silly. Of course you may take some water from the stream."
"Then… then why are you talking to me?"
Oki shrugged and leaned back. "Well, you and your mother have been walking beside my stream all day. I was hoping that you both would stop by the waters to have a drink, because I wanted to help with your problem."
The eagle demon arched an eyebrow, remembering what Sesshoumaru-sama had said about trusting strangers who offered to help. "What problem?"
"She's so sad that I think the entire forest knows of her depression."
"She seems fine to me," he lied.
The sprite gave him a disbelieving look. "You must be mistaken, child. I can smell her sorrow even from here. May I ask what happened?"
Washi shrugged and began tracing shapes in the grass. "I don't know. It has something to do with her old mate and the male she's in love with now. The first one died and I don't think she's really over it. She won't really tell me."
Oki made a little tut-tut noise. "That must be hard, not knowing what's hurting your mother. Was her first mate your father?"
He gave her a small smile. "No, I'm not actually her son, although I want to be."
"Well, I'm sure she considers you her child. You are worried about her like a proper son should be." She grinned. "You even smell like her. I was actually surprised to see that you are a eagle demon, when you have the scent of a dog demon."
Washi's wings stretched out in pride. "Yeah, but actually, even Mama isn't a dog demon. She's just half demon. Of course, she's as strong as any full demon!"
"Of course she is," laughed Oki. "My, you do love her a great deal, don't you?"
"She's my mother," he replied matter-of-factly.
Oki nodded. "It's good that she has someone who takes care of her around."
Washi bit his lip. "Yeah, I guess so. Sesshoumaru-sama used to take care of her though. I think she preferred that." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I've only met him once, and granted it wasn't a very nice meeting, but her last mate doesn't seem to fit well with her. They seemed to fight too much. I think Mama would be happier with Sesshoumaru-sama. I don't see why she's so torn between them."
"What a logical child you are!" Oki said giggling. "Unfortunately for your mother, love is rarely so logical. It hurts when it doesn't flow smoothly."
"And it doesn't just hurt the people that are in love. Mama is going to have nightmares again tonight. She always does when something is bothering her."
"That's heartbreaking." She appeared sad for a moment and then brightened. "I know what could help!"
The eagle demon's eyes lit up. "Really? What?"
Oki reached out. "Here, give me your water skin," she requested. Once it was pressed into her hands, she raised an eyebrow. "What a strange water skin. Where did your mother get it?"
Washi shrugged. "She calls it a 'canteen'. She probably got it from the place where she's from, but that's very far away. She hasn't been home for a long time."
The water sprite nodded solemnly as she dipped the canteen into the clear liquid around her. "All the more reason she should have this. I can make this water magical. It will make your mother stop worrying about her troubles for a few minutes, just long enough so that she can fall asleep and not have nightmares."
"Wow. That sounds like just what she needs. I don't like it when she cries."
Holding up the canteen, Oki pressed her hand to it and made it glow for a few moments before giving it back to Washi. "She won't cry tonight. I promise. This will help her sleep easy."
He hugged it to his chest. "Thank you, Oki-san. You're very kind."
The water sprite blushed. "Don't be silly. That's why I'm here. So I can help people like your mother. Good luck, child." She waved farewell and melted back into the stream, only leaving ripples where she had just been standing.
Washi ran back the camp, guiding himself by sound and sight. When he reached his mother, she was skinning a few squirrels, blood staining her claws. "Hey there, kiddo. You took your time, didn't you? I was about to go looking for you," she said, looking up at him with a smile and sad eyes. She held up her freshly skinned kill. "There's not much meat on these things, but they'll be enough for tonight. I'll hunt down something larger tomorrow. I kind of regret getting rid of my arrows now, but I doubt you wanted purified deer. Too crispy."
They cooked the squirrels as fast as they could, since the sun had already set, and ate while chatting about nothing at all. It was rather awkward for them, because they could not speak of their shared past, since it involved Lord Sesshoumaru. But neither could they speak of the future, since it held no certainty for them. It ended up being a lot of talk about the weather, how Kagome preferred to hunt than fish and how she wished that she could afford spices to make squirrel meat taste better.
The hanyou threw aside the last bone. "Where's that water you brought back? I'm parched."
"Are you going to bed soon, Mama?" he asked as he threw her the canteen.
She laughed. "Of course not. I need to stay awake so I can protect you. You, on the other hand, are going to get to sleep. I don't know if I can carry you all afternoon like I did today. You're getting to be a big boy, you know?"
He nodded, rather sad that he wouldn't succeed in ridding her of nightmares, but aware that at least she wouldn't worry about her problems all night. "I could keep watch some night."
Kagome opened the canteen and raised an eyebrow. "I guess so, but I would have to feel pretty safe. You don't have a very good sense of smell and that's what most demons use to detect intruders. Eventually though, I will need to sleep. I can't go for weeks on end without rest like some demons can."
"Yes, Mama."
She lifted the container to her lips and drank deeply for a few seconds. "That's better," she said, lowering the canteen. "That fresh spring water really does wonders for your thirst."
Washi looked at her face, still deeply lined with worry. When she began to stare off into the distance, he went up to her and took away the canteen. Oki had messed up, he guessed. Nothing was happening. She still looked like she was dying a painful death. "Mama, I'm going to go to bed now," he said after five minutes of silence.
Kagome swept him up in her arms and hugged him. "Okay, kiddo. Let's get you tucked in."
He laughed. "Tucked in? In a tree, Mama?"
She affectionately pinched his little nose. "Of course. It's getting cold, so you're going to have your blanket with you." She pulled it out of his small bag and leapt up onto a sturdy bough in an elm tree. She bounced from branch to branch until she got to the middle of the trunk, and set him down. "There. You'll be safe up here. I'm going to clean up our campsite and then come up to sit by you. Okay?"
He studied her again, but was disappointed to see no light in her eyes. "Yes, Mama."
Balancing on the thick branches, she began to tuck him in, securely wrapping him in the think blanket Sesshoumaru had provided for him. He had given them many items for this trip, and although she wasn't pleased about using them, she knew it was necessary. Looking down at her still-stained yukata though, she decided that she would change into her slayer outfit as soon as possible.
She finished tucking in her adopted son and was about to say goodnight when a wave of nausea hit her. The world spun around her very fast, forcing her to hold onto a nearby tree limb for support.
Washi sat up and looked at her with concern. "Mama? Are you alright?" He threw aside the blanket and grabbed her arm as she swayed beside him. "Be careful, Mama! You can't fly, remember?"
She looked at him with glassy eyes, hardly registering what he said as her vision faded in and out. "Washi?" she murmured, before losing her balance and falling down though the thick maze of branches. Kagome could barely hear it when the eagle child cried out and reached for her and could barely feel it as the tree bounced her around among its branches, leaving welts, bruises and cuts on her delicate skin.
She hit ground hard, jolting her from a sense of nausea to one of painful self-awareness. Her body felt as if it couldn't move even if she tried. For a terrifying moment, she wondered if she had broken her back or, worse, severed her spinal cord. Then, the fog lifted and she could move her legs and arms, although not very well. Her body was very bruised.
Washi landed next to her. "Mama? Mama?" he cried, too scared to even touch her. "Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay!"
"I'm… I'm fine. I don't know what happened." She slowly rolled over and pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Maybe squirrel meat doesn't agree with me."
"You've had it before," pointed out the boy. His heart was beginning to hurt. Why didn't he listen to Lord Sesshoumaru? He hadn't helped his mother, he had hurt her even more. Was this some sick joke or something more? Either way, he would have to tell her what he did, even if it did make her angry. Even if she didn't trust him anymore.
She clutched at her stomach as another wave of dizziness hit her. "Ah!" she cried. "What the hell is wrong with me?"
Washi fell to his knees beside her and held her wrist. "I'm so sorry, Mama. I was just trying to help!"
Kagome, breaking out in a cold sweat, shook her head. "What are you saying, Washi?"
"The water sprite! She said that she felt your sadness and that she wanted to help. She seemed so nice and so I trusted her. I'm so sorry, Mama. I shouldn't have given you that water. I should have told her to go away. I just wanted you to be happy again."
"Ah!" She fell forward onto the ground, lacking the energy to sit up, much less get angry at someone just trying to help. "I… I forgive you, Washi."
"But you're still sick!" he cried. "Tell me how to make you better, Mama."
Before she could express her doubt that anything could save her at this point, she remembered what Inuyasha always used to do when she was hurt. He killed what had hurt her. "Tell me where this water sprite is. Get me to her."
Washi nodded mutely and helped her to her feet, using all of his strength. Once standing, Kagome seemed to have a bit more control over her body as she walked forward, towards the stream where Oki had tricked her son. Anger that she couldn't direct at him now flowed freely towards the water sprite. She hated being duped, but even more when creatures took advantage of those in her care.
The world was swimming before her, so the eagle child had to lead her slowly. Several times, they had to stop and rest while Kagome lost her vision or another dizzy spell hit her. She didn't tell Washi, but Kagome knew that she was going to collapse sooner rather than later. Whether that meant death or something else, she didn't want to consider, but she knew her last act would be killing the sprite.
It felt as she was walking on knives, but she reached the edge of the stream and even had the energy to tell Washi to stay back before drawing Tetsusaiga. "What was this female's name?" she said heavily, looking at her son with hooded eyes.
"Oki. What're you going to do, Mama?" he asked from his perch in the tree nearby.
"Teach her a lesson not to mess with my pup," she growled. Tetsusaiga pulsed a few times in rapid succession and then transformed into the Fang that had saved her own life so many times. "Oki! Face me!"
She didn't recognize her voice. It was the first time she had ever wanted to hurt someone besides Kikyo out of pure anger and vengeance. And yet it was necessary to avenge Washi, because he would never be the same now. Those wise words he always had for her wouldn't be so confident now. He wouldn't trust anyone again. She nearly wept to see his childhood die.
The water sprite rose out of the water with a malevolent smile painted upon her face. "Did you call, Kagome? I suppose you drank the water then. I'm surprised you made it this far."
"Well, you know, compared to falling out a tree, walking a hundred yards wasn't that big of a deal," she snapped back.
Oki stepped out of the water and drew her own sword. "If you wish to fight, I would do it now. You'll be unconscious quite soon."
Kagome's body was shaking harder than ever, but she managed to lift Tetsusaiga and swing at the water sprite. She easily dodged and elbowed the hanyou in her back. Kagome cried out and fell to her knees, causing her vision to waver again.
"My, that was pathetic," commented Oki. "I probably should just kill you now and get it over with, but this is quite amusing. Almost as amusing as I listened to that eagle demon you keep with you. 'She's my mother,'" she mocked in a sick-sweet voice. "'I don't like it when she cries.' What a disgrace to demonkind to have a child brought up by a half-demon. I remember a time that Sesshoumaru would have killed you for attempting it, but he's changed too. He's a weakling now. It'll lead to his downfall."
You will never succeed in combat if you cannot control your emotions. Sesshoumaru's words echoed in her mind, and she had to admit he was right. Oki was trying to force her into acting without thought, something that would surely get her killed. For all her mocking words, the water sprite knew that she would have to strike just right to beat the hanyou with Tetsusaiga.
"Get up, you worthless half-breed!" she screeched.
Kagome flattened her ears and willed her vision to stop swimming. Pushing herself to her feet, she brought Tetsusaiga up to strike again. She was coming to the end. The Fang sapped her energy and she couldn't hold it much longer.
The moment seemed to slow down, stretching out her anxiety to immense proportions. She swung the Fang forward, narrowly missing Oki's shoulder as she ducked out of the way, laughing hysterically. Without thought, nearly dislocating her shoulder, Kagome changed the direction of her strike, reversing in Oki's direction.
She knew she had hit her mark when the laughter stopped and the sprite screamed a long, high pitch. Turning, Kagome saw Oki's body splinter apart as Tetsusaiga transformed back into its usual battered state, not able to draw any more power from the hanyou.
"Mama! You did it!" called Washi. His voice sounded like it was at the other end of a tunnel, echoing and weak.
Kagome's body swayed as she slowly closed and opened her eyes, although she saw nothing anymore. She was blind now. Only by smell could she determine that her son was safe. He was still scared though. He could see that she was sinking into the dark.
Another scent hit her senses, one that scared her beyond reason. "Washi! Come here!" She reached out and felt a hand encircle it immediately. Not her child's talons, but a fully adult clawed one. She tried to pull away, but it only gripped harder. "Inuyasha! Stop it! I know it's you!" she screamed.
"How clever of you," he purred. "You know, I really didn't expect to see you again so soon. I thought it would take much longer for you to turn against Sesshoumaru and strike out on your own."
"Leave her alone!" Washi shrieked.
Inuyasha laughed. "Look at the runt, trying to protect you. Oh, you can't look, can you? You're blind by now. Soon all of your other senses will leave you too." She heard him rustling around. "Too bad for Oki here that you didn't drink the whole dose. Otherwise you would have been unconscious much sooner and she wouldn't have died. Rather sad that she lost to a half-demon who was drugged."
"She… she isn't going to die?" the eagle demon whimpered with the barest trace of happiness.
"Of course not, runt. We need your precious mother to conquer the world."
She heard him walking away from her, towards Washi. "Keep away from him!" She stumbled forward, trying to reach out to hold back Inuyasha.
A slimmer hand grabbed hers, pulling her backwards. "Now, sister, we can't have this sort of discord among us. We're going to be family now."
Kagome struggled against the miko's grip. "Get off of me, you bitch! I'll kill you for this!"
Kikyo laughed and pulled the hanyou closer. "You aren't going to hurt any of us. And don't bother fighting me. Your strength is gone. I felt it as it left your body, along with the rest of your demon senses."
The hanyou closed her sightless eyes as she realized the truth in Kikyo's words. The pain wracking her body seemed to dull, the sounds around her softened and she could no longer smell Washi's fear, Inuyasha's sick joy or Kikyo's malevolence. She was basically a human with dog ears and a strange dye job.
"Washi… run," she choked out. "Get to Sesshoumaru!" She heard his wings open and then his high-pitched yelp. "Washi? Oh god… Washi!"
"Mama!" he cried plaintively before yelping again.
Kagome twisted in Kikyo's grasp and slammed her fist into the miko's face, causing her to cry out and let go. She ran forward, letting her maternal instincts guide her. The pain began to grow throughout her body once again, telling her that she was exerting herself too hard, but she ignored the warning.
Inuyasha's hands grabbed the back of her yukata, hefting her back and off the ground. As Kagome flailed, he laughed. "Stop trying, Kagome. You're just going to fall unconscious faster."
"Stop hurting him!" she sobbed. "Please! I'll do anything!"
The world seemed to hold its breath as Inuyasha set her back down on the ground and held her to his chest. "Anything? Really?"
Tears rolled down her cheeks. "Yes. Please… anything."
"Stop fighting," he whispered in her ear. "Stop or he'll really be in trouble."
She immediately let her muscles go lax, leaning into him. "There. I promise I won't do anything. Just let me go to him."
Inuyasha removed his arms and she lowered herself to the ground, feeling forward for Washi's tiny frame. "Kiddo? Where are you?" Kagome asked, afraid that she wouldn't receive an answer. The pain was getting worse. It hurt her heart and lungs to even talk, but she had to know if he was breathing.
A small moan to her left sent a shock of joy through her body. He was alive. That was all that mattered. Her arm shot out and rested on his soft wings. They were rising and falling with his ragged breaths. "Mama?"
"I'm right here, Washi." She moved to get closer when Inuyasha's arms encircled her waist and pulled her away. "Wait! No! Please let me take care of him. He's hurt!" Pain coursed through her limbs as she tried to fight him off, taking the last of her energy. She went limp in his arms as she drifted away from consciousness.
Inuyasha laughed and dumped her body unceremoniously onto the ground next to Washi. The little boy stared in horror at his mother's pale, sweaty complexion that made her look like she was made of wax. "Please… why are you hurting her?" he asked. "I thought you wanted her to be your weapon."
Inuyasha washed Washi's blood off his hands in the stream and glanced over at him with a smirk. "Well, she didn't come quietly, did she? But that's all for the better. That means that Sesshoumaru will smell her fear and desperation miles away. He'll arrive just as the new and improved Kagome is ready. Then we'll finally be able to kill him."
The eagle child reached out and touched Kagome's hand. Moving was painful, and he suspected he had several grievous injuries, but he couldn't let her go. "Why didn't you kill him last night if you want him dead?" he asked, trying to stay awake.
"Nosy brat, aren't you?" snapped the male hanyou. "Idiotic too. You never send your ultimate weapon out to conquer the world without first testing it out. Sesshoumaru is the most powerful demon in Japan. He's the perfect test subject."
Washi let his eyes lose their focus as he continued to hold onto his mother's hand. He bitterly asked himself why Inuyasha had kicked him so hard. Why did he let Kagome go, only to snatch her back again? Like a cat playing with the mouse. He felt sick as he realized Inuyasha's intention to break Kagome's spirit. Then again, Lord Sesshoumaru might have already done that. Was that what the miko meant by saying that it was him that would drive Kagome to being their weapon?
He rested his head against the ground, too tired to think anymore. Nearby, Inuyasha was inspecting Kikyo's face. Her eye was becoming rather puffy and red where Kagome had hit her. The male hanyou was laughing. "That's one hell of a black eye you're going to have, Kikyo, my love. I can't believe you let a weak half-demon hit you."
"I will not happen again," she responded, giving him a cold glare.
"I'm sure it won't. Remember, she's your sister now." He laughed again and looked over towards Kagome's prone body.
"Hmm, I remember. What is she to you?"
Inuyasha grinned. "What do you think? What are you to me?"
Kikyo shrugged. "You love me as you did in your first life, but you do not touch me. For once, Inuyasha, you have confused me." She looked at him carefully for a moment, but he didn't speak, so she continued. "You look at me as a dead woman you loved in life. But you never considered Kagome dead to you."
"Maybe she is now. Can't you smell it? Sesshoumaru has defiled her."
The undead miko's eyes widened. "Oki mentioned something to that effect when she came to us with her whereabouts. I thought we would be pressed for time, if we had to break her spirit even further, but this changes everything."
The male hanyou nodded. "Her heart is black. When she wakes, I will tell her that her precious son is dead. Then she will give her body and mind over to us."
"Inuyasha… if Sesshoumaru has taken her purity, then she is no longer yours," Kikyo warned her partner. She began to laugh, covering her mouth with her deathly white hand. "Does this mean you will live as a monk? Celibate and touching no woman?"
The half demon's eyes blazed as he grabbed the miko's arm. "Listen to me. I can have any woman I want. Sesshoumaru's defilement of her body will be washed away once she enters the service of Amatsu. She will be mine, just as you could be, if I wished it."
Kikyo turned serious. "And why don't you wish it?"
Washi forced himself to remain conscious, knowing that Inuyasha's answer could be important. He didn't quite understand how his Lord Sesshoumaru had 'defiled' his mother, but he was more worried about Inuyasha's tone of voice when he spoke of Kagome as his own.
"You, Kikyo? Why would I encroach upon Amatsu's property?"
The miko lifted her pretty face to look full into Inuyasha's. "So you know."
"I do. I knew the minute I joined your company. I told you. I can smell it on you."
Kikyo laid a hand on Inuyasha's upper arm. "So are we still a family then?" she asked with a seductive smile.
He carefully pried off her fingers. "Of course, love, but I'm not stupid enough to incite the wrath of Amatsu Mikaboshi. Taking one lord's woman is enough for me, especially my idiot brother's." Inuyasha walked to Kagome's body and hoisted her up into his arms. "Still awake, brat?"
Washi blinked and looked up at his tormentor. "Yes. Sesshoumaru will know about this. He'll find you."
Inuyasha grinned. "Oh, I'm counting on it, brat. Be thankful I have to have someone pass on the message, or you'd be dead already." He buried his nose in Kagome's hair and inhaled deeply. "Now, your mother and I have some talking to do."
The eagle child watched helplessly as snake-like demons appeared and carried away his mother and her abductors. As the pain overwhelmed him and pushed him towards darkness, he could only mourn his choice to trust the water sprite, and hope that Sesshoumaru would soon find him.
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A/N: There you are. I love this chapter – I was on fire while writing it and it was pure fun. It's my favorite now. Don't complain about it being a cliffhanger… because I could have ended it when Kagome fell unconscious. Instead, I continued for another page and a half. Yay for being done with finals! Review because I'm having oral surgery tomorrow to take out my wisdom teeth… ugh. Anyway, here's the review responses!
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