A/N- nooo they left me a week ago sob anyways back to writing the story sorry this took so long my teachers have finally decided that they want to give me homework and assigmnents… speaking of which… hmm anyways thanks to everyone who reviewed you rock

DISCLAIMER: still own none of it.

Harry rolled over he couldn't sleep. He had been reading the notebook before he went to bed but was lying awake now. He rolled over and decided to keep reading.

Lily and James spent a lot of time together in the week of holidays. They had become more then just friends and at the end of the holidays they were no longer as innocent as the beginning of the holidays however towards tend of august things started changing. Lily was forbidden by her sister not to see him……..

(Flashback)

It was 2 in the morning she still wasn't back Petunia grew worried what if he'd done something to her. Even though Lily was a witch petunia still looked out for her.

The door slowly creaked open…

"Where have you been?"

"With James."

"Lily you can't see him again?"

"Why not?"

"He's dangerous!"….. "Bull"

"You shouldn't be hanging around him you never know what can happen."

"Leave him alone"

"Why?"

"Because I love him and you had better watch out for me if you do anything to him"

"You love him. As if Lily just a month ago you were trying to get me to save you from him you hated him. Your 17 you don't know what love is."

"Oh and you do you're 2 years older then me and your with Vernon. The only reason you like Vernon is because he hates me too! You are pathetic."

"I am going to bed now goodnight."

"You know I'm right." And the silence died down. But across the hall James had heard everything.

(Flashback over.)

September first drew nearer. Lily and James had broken up over the holidays. James and Lily were head boy and girl yet Lily avoided him as much as possible.

A couple of months later Lily had started going out with a guy named Chris Patil the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain. It wasn't like it was with James though. They never did fun things and just pretty much studied together.

Except for class and patrolling duties Lily never saw James. Sirius and Remus couldn't figure out what was going on. Before the holidays James had been crazy about Lily however he had not mentioned her once since he came back and his attitude had completely changed…

"James we have to talk." Remus said while Sirius stood behind him and stared at the ground.

"What's going on with you mate. Ever since your holiday you've been acting strange."

"Stranger then what I am normally you'd always said I'd been strange and I don't want to talk about it."

"You have to." "Why"

"Is it something to do with Lily?" James didn't answer. "Come on mate tell us" still no answer "Come on mate."

"Fine you wanna know I'll tell you don't interrupt me. On the way to Australia, Lily had the seat next to me. As it turned out she was staying across the hallway to me at the gold coast. Anyway while we were there lily and her sister walked over to me and her sister tried chatting me up."

"Lily has a sister?"

"Yes she is a right biatch too. Anyways Lily was dragged into hanging out with us but as soon as her sister found out I was a wizard she ran off leaving Lily and I stranded at the movies… never mind muggle thing… anyway we had to walk home and on that walk Lily's hostility wore away. Anyway she almost kissed me but was stopped by her sister. The next week we were both at a festival she went on the Ferris wheel with her sister and I did something incredibly stupid I climbed up to the top and hung myself over the crowd until she promised to go out with me. Anyway she did we went out and then said good night she came in to get her jacket that she'd left in my room but we sorta… yeah. The next few weeks we went out together everyday and yeah we actually went swimming in the ocean it was freezing and went round to all the hidden touro destinations around the gold coast movie world was the best, anyways one night we didn't get home until 2 in the morning and her sister shouted at her Lily broke up with me and came home."

"What were you doing until 2 in the morning?"

"You wouldn't wanna know…"

"Oh you two did it didn't you…" James blushed. "Who in a million years would have thought James's first time was with Evans"

"Sirius shut up and you had better not tell anyone any off this or you will be dead."

Meanwhile…….

Lily was sitting in her room. Being head girl her and James had their own living quarters. She was still thinking about James. She was really confused. She had thought she loved him but after her sister had pointed out that She only thought she loved him and that she really hated him lily suddenly realised that there is a thin line between love and hate.

She went down into the common room to find James and talk to him. But what she heard was him. Him telling his mates about their time together…..

"Who in a million years would have thought James's first time was with Evans"

"Sirius shut up and you had better not tell anyone any off this or you will be dead."

Lily felt tears running down her cheeks. He had told Sirius he couldn't keep his mouth shut about anything. Within a few days the whole school was going to know how she had slept with the guy who she'd been trying to convince everyone was a prick the guy everyone knew she hated.

"How could you. You arrogant prick," Lily looked at James blank face. "No James that's not news, here's some news I FUCKING HATE YOU"

"ouch mate." "piss off Sirius, just go."

"Lily James didn't do anything it was just Sirius being his dimwitted self pressured him into telling us about his holiday anyway Sirius sorta guessed." Remus was trying to stick up for James, but when he saw that he was getting no where he turned around and pulled Sirius out.

"Lily." "I don't want to hear it."

"Exactly you wouldn't care what I have to say. Look at the way you treated me. You broke up with me because your sister hates magic, you started going out with Chris because you knew it would get on my nerves by you going out with the Ravenclaw Captain, you avoid me when I try to talk to you." Lily was staring at the ground crying she couldn't bear to look at James for an

"I Kept this a secret until now you know why? Because I knew it would hurt you if anyone found out. And this is how you thank me for that. You never asked me to I would have loved for everyone to know that even if for a couple I managed to get the girls of my dreams…" James was stumped and didn't know what else to say "Never mind its too late."

"James…. James, look at me!" he looked up "It's not too late" and with that she jumped on to him and kissed him every thought and morals flew out of the window.

"Er Lily… um what was that for." James said breaking away from Lily

"just shut up!"

"o…k suits me"