A/N: Sorry that this took so long kids. I had to prepare for the LSAT, take the test that will determine the course of the rest of my life, look for a job and call incessantly to get one. But I do work now which will be great for my bank account but not so good for my feet (I'm working retail – lots of standing in heels.) I also suffered from a case of 'where the heck am I going with this chapter?' Hope it satisfies. Forgive any grammatical errors – it took so long to finish this that I didn't feel I had enough editing time before you guys lynched me.

The Broken Miko

Chapter 26: Unanswerable Prayer

Kagome stepped into the hallway, her footsteps echoing loudly even for her human ears. Without windows or torches, it was incredibly dark, like swimming in an inkbottle. Her heart was beating so fast in her chest that she had to lean against the wall for a moment to try to catch her breath.

Guilt was washing over her, stabs of pain going through her heart as she thought of the pale, exhausted taiyoukai giving up and letting her go. She never thought she would see him like that, so helpless and frustrated. Even worse, she had caused it. She had forced him into a corner and demanded her rights as queen, to protect the city in any way possible. While Kagome was sure he saw the validity of her argument, he had had to surrender his own power to allow it. Only now, after she had left him, did the hanyou realize how terrifying that must have been for her mate. He trusted her, but he did not trust the creature she became when under Amatsu's control.

She had to face the reality that she would probably become that monster once again before the sun was up.

But she was still going, still trying to bargain with a god who could probably create anything he wanted from thin air. It really was a stupid idea. Kagome just hoped that it would be stupid enough to be unexpected. Perhaps Amatsu would even give away a hint as to how he could be defeated.

Her unreasonably hopeful demeanor quickly faded. First, she would have to traverse the youkai-infested city. She was certain that they would not take kindly to her presence, even if she was their lord's mate now. She would be broadcasting the fact that the night of the full moon was the night of her transformation, a secret most hanyou would guard fiercely.

Second, she would have to actually get to the god, not die in process and speak to him without becoming evil again. Lastly, she would have to get back to Sesshoumaru alive and well. He couldn't kill her for impudence until the baby was born anyway. By then, his extreme frustration and anger would probably cool off. What, really, had she hoped for when she had proposed this plan? His joyful acceptance and a hearty 'so long, see you soon, dear'?

Kagome sighed, pressing her human hands on the wall and pushing back. The truth was that even if she knew it wouldn't have happened, she wanted that sort of support. He had made it painfully clear that she wasn't going to receive any of that though.

With a quick glance at the sliver of light escaping from beneath his door, the hanyou walked out of the East wing and down into the belly of the castle. She made slow progress, as she often had to feel her way around the dark corridors. Obviously, no one else had returned to the taiyoukai's mansion. No soldiers guarded the doors and no nervous courtiers ran down the halls with fans in their claws and tiny steps. For the first time since she had arrived, Kagome missed them. Their presence would make this first part of the journey considerably less lonely.

She rounded a corner and ran right smack into something soft and equally surprised. "Oh!" she cried softly. Blinking her frustratingly human eyes, Kagome reached out with her hand. "Hello? Is there someone there?"

Something moved and sighed as it picked itself up off the ground. "Yes, my lady. I'm sorry I frightened you. Are you alright?"

Kagome squinted in the dark. "Yes, I'm fine. Who is it? Are you unhurt? I hit you pretty hard."

"It's Asa, my lady, and I'm alright. I was sent by Lord Makoto to bring you into the city. He apologizes for not sending one of your friends, but they are occupied at the moment."

The hanyou heard the gardener-turned-soldier shifting along the floor. "It's fine. I'm just glad he sent someone I knew won't try to kill me." She paused and looked at the patch of darkness where she estimated Asa was standing. "You can see in the dark, can't you?"

"To see that you're human, my lady?" asked the youkai. "Yes, I can."

Kagome drew back a little. "And you aren't… angry?"

"Why would I be angry, my lady? Everyone knew that Lord Sesshoumaru was taking a half-demon as his mate. Most demons know that a half-demons transforms into a human one night a month." Kagome could almost hear Asa's spine straighten in pride. "The West has been accused of many things, including intolerance of humans and half-demons, but we respect our leaders. Sesshoumaru-sama knows what he is doing and we trust his choice. No harm will come to you."

The hanyou breathed a little sigh of relief that Asa seemed to be the honor-bound and yet slightly dim-witted kind of demon. If the gardener refused to see the downsides of having a half-demon as queen, in spite of Sesshoumaru's advocacy, Kagome could only hope that most saw the situation the same way. "Okay, well then lead me to Makoto-sama. Did he tell you what he needed from me?"

Asa wrapped her soft sherbet colored fingers around Kagome's hand and began to gently pull her in the direction of the exit. "Not really, my lady. He only said that it was high time for a report to the Lady of the Western Lands. Allow me to extend my congratulations by the way, Kagome-sama."

"Thank you, Asa-san," replied the hanyou with a blush.

They hurried through the halls, the gardener guiding Kagome with expert skill. When they emerged from the castle, the moon showered them in a cold, sad light. Kagome looked down at her hands, staring ruefully at the blunt ends of her nails. For the first time, she could see why Sesshoumaru disdained humans so much. They were so weak, she thought. We are so weak, she corrected a second later, doubt creeping into her mind again.

"My lady?"

Kagome looked up to see the gardener was paused on the path down to the city. "Yeah, sorry. I'm coming." She jogged down to meet Asa, surprised at how quickly her heart began to speed up its beat. Even with constant exercise, her human form was fragile compared to her demon one. She would have to be careful. She was too used to pushing her body beyond what a human could endure.

They walked down into the city, Asa with a decidedly more determined tread than Kagome. The hanyou peered over her shoulder every few moments, expecting to see an angry lynch mob of youkai following her with pitchforks and torches, despite the gardener's reassurances. "Where is everyone?" she asked finally.

Asa looked around the nearly deserted streets and shrugged. "In the mansions and the barracks. They need their rest. No one will bother us, my lady."

Not completely convinced, but a little more at ease, Kagome followed her guide to the second largest house in the city. It was a bit more ostentatious than Sesshoumaru's home. The upturned corners of the roof were heavily adorned with gold and red paint and while her mate's home had rare, ancient statues tucked away in the secluded parts of his garden, this noble had a large sculpture garden. It wasn't her style, but it was impressive to look at. "Is this where Makoto-sama is?" she asked, staring at the Chinese-inspired dog statue with its open mouth and bugged eyes.

The gardener nodded once, leading her around the periphery of the garden and into the back lot of the mansion. "He's waiting over there," she said simply when the house fell away to the rear gardens. She bowed and scampered off before Kagome could thank her.

The celestial demon was standing in an arc of bamboo shoots, looking up at the cold night sky with a serious expression. When Kagome stepped on the path, his head dropped to meet her eyes and he smiled. "Ah, my lady. I'm so glad you could make it." He gestured to several soldiers that Kagome had not even noticed in the shadows. They were peering at her warily with their blades drawn. "Leave us. Do not worry for my health. I doubt I have anything to fear from the lady."

Kagome got the distinct impression that he was half-heartedly teasing her for her present state. She tilted her head at him as she caught the sparkle in his eyes. "I thought it would have been beneath you to make fun of someone in an unfortunate situation, Makoto-sama," she said with light accusatory tone.

"Being human is not an unfortunate situation," he countered, beckoning her to come closer and sit beside him on the great stone bench behind him.

She settled onto the cold rock. "Really? Sesshoumaru-sama believes it is."

The Northern Lord gave her an easy smile. "I like that boy. He has great promise, but sometimes he is a complete moron." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "After all, you can take care of yourself. Even tonight, as a human."

Kagome swiveled her head to meet his level gaze. "You know about my plan then, to meet Amatsu. How could you have known so quickly? You would have had to have known before I even came up with the idea."

"Intuition, my dear girl," he replied without hesitation. "I've seen this sort of thing happen before. When I saw your face just now in the dark, it only confirmed my predictions. Also, Sesshoumaru warned me that if the battle turned out badly you might run off and do something 'predictably human'. His words, not mine, of course."

"So you aren't going to stop me?"

He arched an eyebrow and rustled his wings. "If I tried, would I succeed?"

"No," she admitted after a moment's thought.

"Then, why should I try?"

She shrugged, looking down at the ground and tracing circles on the stone path with her boot. "Sesshoumaru didn't try to stop me either. Not really."

"If I couldn't stop you from performing this ridiculous stunt of yours, how could the boy hope to do so in his weakened condition?" he asked. "And as ridiculous as it is, I must admit that it's our best plan at the moment. No one else could hope to get within fifty yards of the god without dying a brutal death."

Kagome sighed and nodded. "But there are really no terms to be negotiated. The only thing he wants is the destruction of the Japanese youkai. The only thing we want is to be left alone."

"Remember our conversation about secrets? How we all have them?" Makoto asked, waiting for her to nod again. "Why should it be any different for gods? Surely they have wants and desires that not even their power can give to them."

"I considered that too," she replied, "but somehow I doubt it."

The celestial crossed his arms and looked up through the bamboo arch to the black sky again. "Most likely, you're correct, but sometimes miracles occur." He sighed, slapping his hands to his knees and standing up. "You should leave however, before it gets too late. By morning, Sesshoumaru will have the strength to stop you."

"So why did you call me here?" she asked with curiosity as she stood up as well.

"To ensure that this was not something done out of anger," he answered. "And to wish you the best of luck."

Kagome smiled softly. "Yeah, right. What's the real reason?"

Makoto shrugged, more to himself than to his companion. "Ah well, it was a good try," he murmured, pulling a folded letter from his kimono sleeve and handing it to her. "It's from one of my spies in the East. I felt that you should read it."

The red wax of the seal was already broken, so Kagome unfolded the parchment and began to read the rather raw hand of the spy.

My lord,

I have found the home of the god, deep in a forest that has no name. No one remains save a few servants. One of these I captured and interrogated at length. Just a kitchen maid, she could not tell me much. The god's wife is indeed the former Lady of the West, Kaori. She bows to her husband and complies with his every wish, even though he lies with the undead priestess at night. This I am sure you already know, my lord, but I offer it as confirmation.

The servant revealed one other thing, however, that my lord may not be aware of. Lady Kaori and the god have a son, who is as deadly as our greatest warriors of the North. His name is Kamlyn – "lord".

She looked up at Makoto with a stony gaze. "Well, at least we know his name now." She bit her lip as she handed the document back to the celestial. "Kamlyn. Hm."

The celestial shrugged, tucking the parchment back into his sleeve. "I wanted you to have some warning. He might be out there."

"I'll be concentrating on the god, I think," Kagome replied with a grimace.

"The son of a god is probably a god himself."

The hanyou bit her lip. "But the mother is just a youkai."

Makoto nodded once, slowly. "Indeed, but I prefer your caution. Amatsu might not harm you, but his son might. He sounds like a beast with no mind for rational thought."

Kagome swallowed and nodded grimly. "Thanks for the heads up."

They bowed to each other, more stiffly than if they had been in a happy situation. She smiled uneasily at him and circled back around the house once again, determined to get to the gates without any more interruptions.

The streets were fairly empty and the soldiers that were there seemed to be wrapped up in their own problems to care that a human was walking amongst them. The plunge in morale was disheartening, but not unexpected. After all, they were the famed Western Army and they had had their asses kicked to next Thursday. She only could hope that they would buck up a bit before another battle was fought.

As she approached the gates, she could hear her mate's voice in her head. Try not to die, Kagome. I would be most displeased if I had to secure another mate. And if you return, expect to hear my full disapproval of your willful disobedience.

Kagome smiled ruefully. Yes, that was what he would say. Now if only Sesshoumaru was there to say it himself.

The smooth wood of the gates reminded her that she didn't have nearly the strength to open them and so the hanyou turned aside and began to search for a smaller door. It was nestled at the base of the wall to the left of the enormous gate and made of toughened steel. Two suspicious guards stood watching over it, raising their eyes in unison as she walked up to them. "Could you please open the door for me?" she asked, trying not to let her voice quiver.

One of the sentries leaned over and sniffed at her, jerking back when he got the scent of mandarin oranges. "Of course, my lady," he replied, producing a large, worn key and unlocking the bolt. The steel slab swung open without a noise.

"Thanks," she said offhandedly. Catching their curious expressions, she shrugged. "Don't follow. Just trust me," she assured them before disappearing through the wall.

On the other side, Southern soldiers immediately pounced upon her, making her yelp in pain as they tied back her hands. "Don't hurt her," rasped one voice out of the crowd. "She's the one our god is waiting for."

She was blindfolded quickly and pushed in a random direction. Kagome knew that complaining would only garner insults and injury from the Southern youkai so she remained quiet, silently contemplating what had turned a respectable territory into one of thugs. She could not tell where she was going without her demon senses, so when she was shoved down onto the ground, she was surprised to feel sudden warmth coming from in front of her.

"Take that blindfold off of her. Do you think that she doesn't know who I am?"

The soldiers murmured an apology and took the cloth away from Kagome's eyes. She blinked and looked around. She was inside a large, red tent with a fire in the center and mats arranged around it with comfortable pillows to recline upon. Five creatures were relaxing upon them – Amatsu, Kikyo, Inuyasha and two youkai that appeared to be a lizard and a bear demon. The lizard was a glorious shade of gold, although his bulbous eyes and scaly claws offset his complexion's beauty. The bear was simply very fuzzy. They fixed a malicious smile upon their faces, staring at her with appetites for blood.

Kikyo seemed serene and submissive, sitting more rigidly than the four males around the fire. She gave only a cursory, blank glance at Kagome before turning her face back towards the two demons. Beside her, Inuyasha's eyes were hidden by his hair as he picked at the spaces beneath his claws.

The god, in his ever-present gray cloak, waved to dismiss her captors and then turned to the youkai. "You two can go as well. We're finished for tonight. Kikyo, escort our guests out," he said, inclining his head towards the priestess.

She rose silently and bowed to the two demons. "Lord Kin, Lord Kuma, if you will come with me." She passed by Kagome without a glance and held the tent flap open for them. When she returned, Kikyo grabbed Kagome's hair and pulled her forward towards the god, ignoring the hanyou's yelps of pain. Her legs scrapped roughly across the matted floor.

"Now, now, my dear," purred the god. "Is this any way to treat your sister in blood?"

Kikyo gave Kagome a resentful stare as she seated herself again. "She's betrayed us so many times. This is a trick, somehow."

Amatsu leaned over and put a finger underneath Kagome's chin, forcing her to look at him. He searched her eyes, brimming with tears of pain from Kikyo's abuse. A wide smile broke out on his face. "Ah, no, my love. There is no deception here. Our little Kagome is here to plead for the life of Sesshoumaru and her city. How moving."

Inuyasha's eyes finally flickered up to meet his past lover's face. "She's mated to him now." He snarled, his lip curling up in a way that Kagome had never liked. "My brother. Are you pleased with your choice? You disgusting harlot." For the first time, he seemed truly angry with her, not his usual mocking self.

"Inuyasha," Amatsu said warningly, "be quiet. If she wants to make her supplication for peace, we will allow it." He snapped his fingers and the ropes fell away from her wrists.

The female hanyou sat back on her heels and rubbed the red bands of skin encircling her arms. "I want to know what you want in return for letting my mate, my baby and the city live."

"Nothing," hissed the priestess. "Haven't you realized that yet, sister? You are ours to do with as we please. We will drag you down into hell again."

Rage rose up in Kagome's throat and she spun her head around to face Kikyo. "Oh, drag me into hell? I've heard that tune before and you never did drag him into hell," she spat, tossing her head in Inuyasha's direction, but not looking at him. "Not literally anyway. So just back off."

"My, what a little spitfire," mused the god. "It's a shame that we lost so much time together."

Kagome's eyes glittered in the firelight. "You're not getting me again. I have the baby. It binds me to Sesshoumaru."

"True… true," murmured Amatsu. He stood up and flipped back his hood. Momentarily, Kagome recognized that if he hadn't been a god, there would be nothing remarkably about the man before her. She wondered how Kaori had ever followed him. "You're forgetting," he continued, "that things change every day. That baby won't be with you forever."

"You're not getting my pup either."

Inuyasha laughed. "We'll see about that. After all, I want to see the newest addition to our dysfunctional family. I can't imagine my brother welcoming the pup into our family. It'll be a half-breed like us."

She glared at him with pure hatred. "You aren't in any family anymore, Inuyasha. Not Sesshoumaru's and certainly not mine." She watched his expression carefully, but no flicker of remorse or sadness crossed his face. "Just tell me what you want. Something that's negotiable."

"Kami!" exclaimed the male hanyou, standing up to tower over her. "You really don't get it, do you? Soon, we will have you under our power, your child's life in our hands and your mate's head on a pike in front of your conquered city. You can't stop us!"

"Overconfidence always was your downfall," muttered Kagome, looking away. She felt as if they were talking in circles.

Amatsu smiled wickedly. "It is not overconfidence when you have the advantage in every way. Look at that power you exhibited on the battlefield, Kagome. Do you really think that lightening bolts are a power that every half-demon has? Of course not. That was residual power from your time with us, when you commanded the element of lightening." He looked at his two apprentices with pride. "Inuyasha is fire and Kikyo is earth. Without you, the triad is incomplete. Haven't you always felt as if something was missing, my girl? This is the way to fill that void!"

"No," she said without hesitation. "My duty is to my mate, my child and my city."

The god sighed and tilted his head. "How tiresome you've become. And the truth is that until you have the child, you would threaten the stability of the triad. I would rip its life from your womb, but I sense its power. It will be a powerful warrior, one that I would loathe to relinquish to death." He sighed again. "But I will if I have to."

"I'll kill myself first," Kagome gritted out.

He laughed and shook his head. "No, you won't, my dear. Sesshoumaru possibly, but you could never do such a thing to your own flesh and blood." He paused and stared into the flames for a moment. "But I'll be generous. I'll make you a deal."

"What deal?" she asked cautiously.

"Come to me willingly and I will let your mate live. Perhaps I'll even let a few others of those friends you so heroically protected live as well." He grinned, showing off his white, even teeth. Kagome half-expected fangs to develop.

"No," she replied.

Amatsu drew back and frowned. "Now, now, my girl. Don't be so rash. You have only two choices. Watch everyone you care about die and then be forced into my power or come to me knowing that a few of them will live thanks to your foresight and practicality."

Kagome shook her head. "I realize what the choices are. You're asking me to betray Sesshoumaru. I can't do that."

"He knew what he was allowing you to do when you left the city," countered Amatsu. "Save the life of yourself and your child, and possibly others or watch them perish. You knew the choice before you came. You must have realized that no mortal creature can stop me, Kagome. Make the choice the ensures that your mate lives."

She swallowed, tears beginning to run down her face. Her head was pounding and truly, she couldn't remember any longer what her purpose for being in that tent was. What had she really thought would happen? She knew the risks and now she was backing down from the only choice that allowed Sesshoumaru to survive. "He'll come after me," she protested, although it sounded weak even to her own ears. "He'll fight for me and the baby."

"If he does, he will die a warrior's death," Amatsu replied, his voice suddenly cold and harsh. "He will die fighting for his mate instead of a futile war."

"Everyone in the city will hate me, judge me for choosing between annihilation and the survival of just a few," she argued.

Amatsu's lips curled. "I won't tell if you don't."

Kagome was so confused. She leaned forward, pressing her forehead onto the bamboo mats and silently crying. Her hands were fisted in her hair in frustration. The pad of her thumb brushed over her mating mark and suddenly the sobs began to dry. "No," she said, her voice unexpectedly steady, although muffled against the mat. She looked up, wiping away the trails of wetness on her cheeks. "Sesshoumaru would rather that we all die than me giving into this raw deal of yours."

"Then why did he let you come here?" asked the god savagely.

"Because… because he knew I had to," she replied, now sure of herself. "He knew that I had to try and he knew I would fail. But he also has faith in me that I'm stronger than you and your ridiculous suggestions. That's why he let me come without a fight."

In a blur of silent grace, Amatsu leapt over the fire, grabbed Kagome by the throat and pinned her to the ground. For a moment of brief silence, she just looked at him dazedly. She had never seen anyone move so fast and with such fluidity. "I will control you again," snapped the god. He lifted his free hand and his fingers turned translucent as he plunged it into her chest. He smiled as she screamed as he felt for her soul.

Suddenly he stopped and lifted away his hand, staring down at Kagome who was now sweaty and aching. "I won't take you now," he said, as if he was deciding it as he spoke. "If I take you into my power when your mate is there, I believe that it will crush him. Two birds with one stone, so to speak. Don't you hate clichés?"

"Like the one about the evil guy revealing his plan before he puts it into effect?" she choked out, trying to lift his other hand off of her throat.

Amatsu glowered at her, but the expression faded almost instantly as he sat back and watched Kagome cough and rub at her throat. "No matter, my dear," he said, getting to his feet. He offered her a hand up but she pointedly ignored it and stood up by herself. The god smirked. "I will enjoy taking you during battle and watching as you kill your own mate."

"I don't think so," spat Kagome.

Kikyo smiled in the background. "She believes Sesshoumaru is indestructible," she murmured. "What foolishness."

The hanyou gave her a poisonous stare. "I'm going to enjoy slicing your clay body apart, witch," she growled. Tossing her hair, she looked up at the god, who appeared amused. "Can I go now? I really have nothing more to say."

"Naturally. You aren't our prisoner, my girl. Not yet of course." He walked over to the exit and held open the tent flap. "Have a safe trip home, Kagome," he purred.

It thoroughly annoyed her that she couldn't think of something witty and savage to spit back in his face. The good guys always had clever exit lines. "Shove it," she finally replied, stepping out into the midst of the enemy encampment. She heard the chuckle of the god as he retreated back into his makeshift home.

Ignoring the stares, the leering and the occasional taunt, Kagome picked her way through the camp. The city's gates seemed so far away, as if it was shrinking back from her return. She was surprised when she finally reached the thick stone walls of the city. The enemy soldiers around her licked their lips and ran their fingers along their blades as she knocked on the steel door.

"Who is it?" came the muffled voice.

"Kagome," she replied in a dead tone. As the door swung open, she glanced over her shoulder at the glowing eyes of the demons outside the gates, moonlight flashing off of their weapons. She shuddered and began to walk quickly towards Sesshoumaru's castle, ignoring the guards' questions if she was unharmed.

An acrid smell floated through the air, as if someone was burning flesh and rotting garbage. A thick pillar of smoke began to rise in the distance, where the barracks stood. She stopped and frowned, trying to figure out what could be set aflame in the army's quarters. With a jolt, she realized that the soldiers must have been burning the bodies of the dead, the ones that Sesshoumaru had not been able to save with Tenseiga. A wave of nausea hit her and she doubled over for a moment, grateful that none of the soldiers were around to witness her display of weakness.

She wondered if Sesshoumaru would be watching this from his window, frowning at the waste of talent that the towering plume represented. He was a powerful warlord, and she suspected that he felt the loss of so many men much more closely than others expected.

Kagome began to walk again, and her steps sped up as she journeyed back across the city, until she was almost running through the gate to the taiyoukai's mansion. Sliding along the slick floors of the halls, Kagome made it to the East wing entrance before stopping, with her hand over her rapidly beating heart.

What was she going to tell him? Nothing had really come from the meeting with Amatsu except for a profound sense of how insignificant her resistance was to a god. And lots of tears, of course. She ran over every moment she could remember from the encounter, trying to see if the god had made any mistakes but came up with nothing.

Kagome sighed and walked across the bridge, resolved to see the smirk of 'I told you so' on Sesshoumaru's face once he had determined that she wasn't evil again. The thought depressed her even further, so instead of opening the doors to the bedroom, she took a left into the weapons room, where the taiyoukai had so carefully chosen daggers for the children's protection.

Hidden by the shadows, the statue of Bishamon sat quietly, its outline barely visible with her human eyes. She had noticed it the day she had become Sesshoumaru's mate and it had surprised her. The taiyoukai had never appeared very religious. She had wondered why it was kept in a room so close to him. At the moment however, she was grateful for the privacy.

"You're supposed to protect us," she whispered to the statue as she kneeled before it. "You're the god of war and of justice, but what justice is there in a war that will only bring evil? One that will wipe out everything good in Japan?

"Why aren't you helping us?" Kagome continued. "You never concern yourself with mortal affairs in the legends. I never understood that, but I accepted it. This is different though. One of you is wreaking the havoc. How are we supposed to fight a god? We're not divine."

A soft sound came from the bedroom and the hanyou turned, but the door didn't open and no shadow moved. She looked back at Bishamon and sighed. "They're going to take me and they're going to turn me into a weapon that will destroy what the gods created. It's not fair that everyone should suffer because of my inability to defend myself. I'm not asking for a way to save me, I'm asking for you to save everyone else. If I have to die, that's okay. I just can't believe that you would so readily ignore our plight."

"They always have," spoke Sesshoumaru from the doorway. "You foolishly expect that to change? Your prayer will not be answered."

Her shoulders stiffened, the only sign that she had been startled by his appearance. "You don't know that. You aren't a fortune teller."

He stepped into the room. "I am being logical." He paused and looked at her carefully, sweeping his eyes over her body. "I am pleased that you are unharmed."

Kagome nodded and finally turned to face him. "Were you worried?"

"That is irrelevant."

She smiled at him. "Yes, of course it is." Her cheered expression faded and she looked down at her hands. "I didn't accomplish anything. He just threatened me and you, tried to make a deal with me and got very angry when I refused. Then I left."

Sesshoumaru walked along the wall with the weapons adorning it. "I am not surprised," he said after a long pause. "I expected nothing more."

Kagome got to her feet and leaned against the cupboard that held some of the more rickety swords. "You let me go anyway. You knew I had to try, but you still resisted me a little. It was confusing to me."

"What kind of mate would I be if I allowed my female wander into fatal situations without arguing my case?" He looked at her, his amber eyes flashing coldly. "Even if I had accurately predicted your actions, that does not mean that I recommended them, especially on the night of your human condition."

"Makoto-sama thinks you're a moron for doubting a human's strength," the hanyou responded, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably. She was grinning as Sesshoumaru allowed a small scowl to pass over his features. "Do you really believe that I'm weak?" she asked, dropping her playful expression.

He breathed in her mandarin scent, which hardly changed with her transformation. In a way, it was sweeter, as if the metallic scent of blood didn't cling to her human form. A demon always had the aroma of blood upon them. "A human could never defeat a youkai with a reasonable degree of skill."

"There are other kinds of strength," she replied, as her eyes dimmed with hurt.

"Perhaps."

She remembered one of their previous conversations, when he had been pleased that she hadn't given into the pain under Amatsu's torture. A shudder spread down her spine. "I screamed this time," Kagome said. "He began to twist my soul and I screamed. Are you disappointed?"

A silence settled over them as Sesshoumaru gazed at her. His demon ears could pick up the sounds of the wind against the windowpanes and the heavy steps of his troops, but he could not hear her breathing. She was holding the air in her lungs, making her heart beat faster, trying to pump the little oxygen she had left to her limbs. "That is also irrelevant," he said. Her eyes began to brim with tears and the taiyoukai quickly continued. "I cannot be disappointed in an act I know nothing about. I have not suffered that sort of pain."

Kagome's eyes traveled along the floor, tracing the boxes of light created by the moon shining through the windows. His words had prevented tears from falling, but a pit remained in her stomach and so she decided to change the subject. There would be no purpose to calling him a liar. "Makoto-sama spoke of something else too. Something that would be more to your interests," she said in a hushed voice. "A spy found out that you do have a brother and his name is Kamlyn."

He growled inwardly but did not comment on the quick change of subject. Her unreasonable judgement of his words would be addressed later. "Then we will face him on the battlefield and I will kill both of my brothers."

The hanyou was now rather morose and gave up the chance for a sarcastic fratricide comment. "When are we going to fight them again?"

"Tomorrow."

She started with surprise. "So soon? We don't know how to destroy the shadows yet. They'll kill us all."

"I know."

Kagome looked up at him, her forehead crinkling with concern. "You're telling me that we're all going to die? Sesshoumaru… that isn't like you. Aren't you going to give us half a chance?"

The tension and frustration that had been sitting heavily upon his shoulders suddenly transformed into anger towards the hanyou. Usually her naïveté was refreshing. He could temporarily escape from his hectic world by listening to her speak animatedly about her home, the children or her future plans. At the moment however, her ignorance of their dire situation only flamed the fire of hopelessness that was burning in his chest. "You have no conception of anything beyond these walls, do you?" he questioned with venom. "I will die tomorrow morning defending my city. You will probably be watching as Amatsu's slave. My heir will have nothing to claim but rubble, if the pup evens survives."

"Don't say that," she whispered. "Don't lose hope."

His lip curled with a snarl. "Hope in what, half-demon? We only can depend on ourselves and the shadows can depend on the troops' fear. Even a powerful miko cannot harm them."

The hanyou twisted her hands together. "It's not my fault!" she cried. "They aren't corporeal. If I can't touch their flesh, I can't purify them. I don't even know if they have souls to purify!"

"Which is why I will depart from this earth tomorrow in battle," he growled softly.

"Your soldiers look up to you," Kagome argued, changing tactics swiftly. "You can't go out there with failure in your heart. Then we truly are doomed. How can you be so cavalier about the lives of the demons that follow you so blindly?"

Cold amber eyes flashed crimson for a moment so brief that she thought she might have imagined it. "They follow me because they fear me. A fear that you lost long ago. Do not presume to know what they hold in their minds because you have nothing in common with them. They will die believing that it was a battle for our survival, not a battle to end our suffering."

"So you're putting us out of our misery?" she asked with an edge of distaste.

"I am sure that you will be quite happy in your return to the god," he spat. "Your death does not come with the morning sun, only a chance of a second life."

Kagome fisted her hands and scowled at the taiyoukai. "Just a damn minute. You think that just because Amatsu wants me alive that I can't empathize with your feelings about tomorrow's battle? That's ludicrous. If you put us into battle tomorrow, I will lose you and my dearest friends."

"You will forget us. If you do not, the memory of our deaths will be a joyful one." He stared at her, unblinking, unforgiving of her situation.

She shook her head, trying to clear it of all her protests that she knew would fall on deaf ears, searching for the logic that Sesshoumaru was ignoring. "We have to keep trying," she said finally, inwardly swearing at the weakness of her words. "If you do this, we're quitting and laying the entirety of Japan at Amatsu's feet. You rejected my plan to see the god for its stupidity, but this battle is just another instance of stupidity!"

His glare pierced her heart. "Did you not smell the rotting corpses burning in the barracks as you came here? We have lost already. Japan will fall. You said once that demons do not exist in your era. This is where we cease to live."

"But you saved most of the soldiers. I know we lost a few, but we hurt them too. Much of the East and South army is dead too."

Angry confusion flitted across his face and then it was gone. Lifting his head, he sniffed the air and glowered at her. "Unsurprisingly, your human nose has failed you. Those were not the corpses of my army burning, but the corpses of the animals and crops that fed us. A spy is here, determined to bring this siege to a quick end. In a fortnight, we will have exhausted every storehouse in the city and we will starve."

Kagome gave a little sigh of shock. "All of our food is gone?" she asked quietly.

"The army's rations," he growled. "Your human food is still here in my personal kitchens. Live well and long, Kagome." His angry tone was coated in thick sarcasm.

The hanyou had seen enough documentaries about the great conquerors of the world to know that a besieged city without food was soon a fallen city. It would either end in death by starvation or surrender, if the city leaders didn't decide to commence a suicide mission. Kagome had never advocated blind abandon of life, but she was beginning to understand Sesshoumaru's choice. Honor was the value he held most dear and giving into evil or slowing dying of hunger were not honorable options.

She looked up, where Sesshoumaru had decided that the conversation was effectively over and was turning to leave. "Wait," she called, taking a step towards him.

He glanced back at her with hooded eyes. She couldn't tell if he was still angry, until he spat an acidic 'what?'

Kagome knew that she couldn't take any time to formulate her words and so she let them spill without censorship. "Just because I won't care for you or your fate after Amatsu takes me back into his control, doesn't mean I don't care about it now. I still love you and I don't want to be parted from you, even if that might change soon." She took a pause, seeing that she had his attention now, albeit still angry. "And even if it does, it's not really me. Remember what you kept saying to me when Inuyasha returned? You said it wasn't him, and that I shouldn't care about him because it wasn't the hanyou I fell in love with. That would be true about me too, right? I have to wonder, Sesshoumaru, if you're really angry with the distinct possibility that Amatsu will make me forget you or if you're angry with the fact that you might actually have to try to forget me."

Her accusation made him turn to face her fully again. "I will die. You will forget me. It does not matter how that happens."

She refused his answer and with a firm stomp of the foot, she pointed a slim finger at him. "Why don't you just admit it? You're not saying everything that's on your mind about this. Why is that? Maybe you hate the idea of Inuyasha raising your pup instead of you. Maybe you hate the idea of your mother accepting me as her daughter but not you as her son. Maybe you hate the idea of yet another brother getting all the glory. Maybe you hate the idea of leaving this earth and still being too much of a coward to tell me that you love me in your own damn words!"

In a flash of movement, Sesshoumaru pinned her back against the wall, making her flinch in pain as the rack that normally held Tenseiga and Tokijin dug into her back. "Be quiet, you insolent female!" he snarled. "You do not know what you are talking about! My only concern is with my city's inevitable downfall, not the ramblings of a dirty blooded mate who should be carrying a bastard child instead of an heir!"

Kagome's face barely flickered as she lifted her hand and slapped him across the face as hard as her human strength would allow. "When you die, it will be a bastard child!" she screamed, not caring about his sensitive hearing at such a close range and secretly taking delight in the way he cringed at her voice's volume. "And in case you haven't noticed, I will be the cause of this city's downfall, so don't act as if I know nothing about it! You think I'm self-absorbed, but you're willing to kill everyone in this city because you can't think of anything better to do! You're wallowing in self-pity, you spineless mutt, so don't you dare preach to me!"

His eyes were beginning to glow red, but she barely registered his rage. Giving him an unexpected shove, she freed herself from his grasp and marched out of the room, slammed the door to his apartments and threw herself into her old room, with the carved bed and the sheets that smelled of oranges.

She stayed still for many long moments, her nose buried in her pillow, and waiting for Sesshoumaru to come storming into her room, demanding her subservience. When he did not arrive, Kagome gave into the increasingly large lump in her throat and began to cry. Her sobs were silent, but she knew that the taiyoukai would be able to smell the salt of her tears. As the moments of his absence turned into minutes, the tears came more swiftly. She began to believe that his anger was absolute and that on the eve of his death, he would not be there to sleep beside her.

The eve of his death. She repeated the phrase over and over in her mind, but she couldn't get accustomed to the idea. After all, she had once told him that he would never fall, that he was forever, and she still believed it. The idea of her own death, if only the death of her soul and her memories, was much more acceptable. It had been something that had wormed its way into her mind long ago, when Amatsu had first told her that she was his heart.

Kagome wondered if, by some miracle he lived through the next day, that Sesshoumaru would look upon her animated body as she had looked upon Inuyasha, with regret and mourning. But again, the idea refused to stick. The taiyoukai never regretted anything and he certainly did not mourn death. Her transformation would bother him, but not be mourned. Yes, 'bother' was certainly the word he would use. She could imagine him saying as much.

Turning her head away from the damp pillow, she looked out her glass-paned doors to the horizon. The smoke of many fires rose up like intangible, leafless trees on the top of a hill. The moon was beginning to set, telling her that the night was more than half over, forcing a few more tears to slip down her cheeks and onto the bed.

Behind her, the door opened and although she could not smell anything with her human nose, she tensed up. "Go away, Sesshoumaru."

"I believe that it is my turn to disobey my mate's express wishes," he said. There was an edge of sarcasm to his tone, telling her that he was far from any form of apology that she might want.

She felt his weight settle upon the edge of the bed and closed her eyes, refusing to turn her head. "Fine, whatever."

They sat in silence for many minutes, each waiting for the other to speak. Kagome knew that the taiyoukai would never apologize or admit that he was in any way hiding the truth of his feelings. Her willpower to not speak first remained strong, but finally, she simply tired of his stiff, unemotional presence. Shifting her position so that she was on her back and propped up against the headboard, she stared at him. "What do you want?"

He gave her a sidelong glance, but kept his head facing the door to the hallway. "An apology."

Rage rose quickly in her chest as she scrambled to her knees. Leaning forward on one hand and lifting another to strike him, she screeched in anger. "Give you an apology? For what? For pointing out that your plan is pointless suicide? When you said I had dirty blood and that our child is a bastard? You ass!"

She brought her hand down but in a quick movement he caught her wrist and finally looked at her fully. "We will have to work on your apologies," he said, squeezing her arm slightly for emphasis. "However, I will accept this one for now."

The initial surge of anger having died down a bit, Kagome sat back on her heels, allowing him to keep a grip on her wrist. "Why don't you apologize to me?"

"Unnecessary," he answered.

She arched an eyebrow. "Oh really? And why is that?"

"My mere presence in this room should indicate my wish to end this argument," he said with a slight shrug. "I would not think you would want to jeopardize our reconciliation with a ridiculous demand such as that. You know that I will not comply, which will lead to more arguments. I know that you would rather spend this time with myself in silence or pleasant speech."

Kagome began to tug on her arm, trying to free it. "I would rather do that? Why wouldn't you prefer silence to arguments?" she snapped.

He let go of her suddenly, making her topple back onto the comforter. "I would prefer anything to the incessant scent of tears. The salt can be quite irritating."

"You're such a jerk. You've apologized to me before. Why can't you do it now?" His scowl told her that he was about to say something insulting. She could barely stand the suspense. "Well?"

"I was truly apologetic for what I said to you in the forest," he said calmly. "I do not feel the same way about the words we just exchanged."

She grabbed the soggy pillow she had been crying into and swung it around in an ill-timed plot to hit the dog demon. "Jerk!" she repeated as the projectile neared his silky white head.

He deftly moved out of the way of her strike and then tackled her to the bed, his hair falling down around them so that she could only look into his angry gold eyes. The pillow went flying into the corner of the room, harmlessly hitting the wall. "Your actions are unnecessary, miko. I have made you my mate and the pup is my heir. Only death can change that. Why do you persist in fighting me on the last night that I am alive?"

Kagome blinked and swept aside a few of his silvery hairs that were tickling her nose. "You're afraid. Please… just admit it. That's all I want. I think I deserve that. I can practically smell it on you."

The dog demon moved down, pressing his striped cheek against hers and placing his warm lips against her human ear. "I am not afraid of my death, miko. Let us be clear on that point. The only thing that I fear is the expression of happiness on your face as death approaches me."

As he drew back again, she touched his forehead, tracing the crescent moon. "Whatever the monster I become says or does in your final moments on earth, my soul will be crying. The dark servant of Amatsu doesn't mourn but Kagome will always love you." She pressed a kiss to his temple. "The pup binds us," she said, repeating his words from many days previous.

"No," he said suddenly, causing her to frown slightly. He leaned down and touched his nose to her mating mark, where his scent upon her body was the strongest. "Not only the pup."

Kagome began to cry again, large tears rolling down over the apple of her cheeks and onto the pillow and into Sesshoumaru's hair. He pulled back slightly and gazed at her for a moment. As he was about to speak, the hanyou shook her head. "I'll stop. I'm sorry."

Sesshoumaru didn't respond, only kissing her deeply, his clawed hand insistently wrapping around her waist.

"I'm human," she murmured when he finally broke away.

He descended upon her again, so quickly that her ears almost didn't pick up his words. It took her a moment to register their meaning, almost making her cry again, in desperate joy. "I do not care, my Kagome."

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A/N: I hope you guys liked it. I was stuck forever on several parts of this chapter. It really hated me. Oh well. I'll try to get the next one out more quickly, but I also hope to get more hours at my job so I can have money for the upcoming school year. We'll see how it works out. Onto the review responses!

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