Just checked 4kids.tv a little while ago and I'm glad to say that the TMNT are up! Second place, even! But I must be careful to make sure it doesn't go under again.
Yes, I'm updating this when I should be writing the next chapter to More; I have to stay on schedule!
Got nothin' else to say right now, so let's move on to Chapter 7!
Disclaimer: If any of you guys own the TMNT, call me and I'll trade you for my life! I'll be your slave, whatever you want! 'Cause at this point, they ain't mine.
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The expression on Raph's face was one of pure shock. It never ceased to amaze Leonardo just how oblivious his brothers could be.
"What'd ya say?"
Leo didn't hear him. He figured that he might as well not bother with suppressing his hiccups; they'd already seen them anyways. However, he was trying to stop the images coming to his mind. Although they always started over and over again, he refused to let the memories finish.
I don't want to see them. I'm going to make them go away-"Leo!"
His attention snapped back to the present, away from the past. "What?"
Raph watched him carefully. "Stop doing that!"
"It's not something I can control on my own, you know!"
His expression softened. Raph nodded. "Now what the hell were ya talkin' about?"
Leo hiccupped again before his body started to shudder. "I don't want to remember." Another hiccup escaped. "You heard me the first time, didn't you?"
He could see Raph clench his teeth in frustration, turning away from Leo. "Yes…"
His younger brother obviously didn't think so, but the cold water felt good to Leo. It pelted his skin, like the night when this had all started; deadening all feeling.
On the outside, anyway. Ever since this mess began, it was always corroding away within.
Always.
"I don't think that about ya, Leo." Raph was talking again.
"Yes you do. You have since we were small."
Raph growled under his breath. "You have no idea how I feel!"
"The same goes for me too."
That got him. Nevertheless, he wouldn't give up. "I ain't the one who-"
"Who what? Cut himself? No, you're the one who meant to kill himself five years ago."
A pause. "But I learned. You keep on doin' this to yourself- Leo, stop!"
Huh? He looked to where Raph's eyes led. His cut was bleeding; re-opened. How'd that happen?
As if he'd been reading his mind, Raph picked up his hand and showed him. The tips of his fingers were covered in blood. He'd been scratching himself.
Raph shook his head. "You have no control over yourself, Leo. Not any more." He put his brother's hand down. "Sometimes I wish you'd just go back to the way ya used to be."
It was Leo's turn to look away. "That-" he was interrupted by yet another hiccup, "That Leo never existed."
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Raph give him a funny look. He went on. "He was just a figment of my imagination; a role in our childhood games of pretend."
The images of long ago came back to haunt him again. For the second time that day, Leo pounded his head back into the wall. Pain flowed through him.
It felt good.
But still, the memories played out. He hit the wall again. If he was unconscious, he wouldn't have to see them.
The third time he tried, his head hit something else. When he looked, he saw that Raph had placed his hand against the wall, behind his head, stopping him from continuing.
Raph's face was blank. "What did you see?"
Leo hadn't been expecting such a question. His only answer was a hiccup. They were flooding to him now. But he refused to see them.
He tried to focus on his red-clad brother. "You were remembering somethin', weren't you?"
All Leo could do was nod. With Raph here, there was nothing he could do to stop them. Raph wouldn't let him.
The hiccups were coming faster now. In his mind, he could see his feet walking beneath him. Little feet.
His younger self was searching for something. Where are they?
Somewhere, he heard Raph talking to him. "Leo, snap out of it." He made himself concentrate on those words, putting Raph's words into sentences in his head.
Raph looked irked. "This is why we're trying to help you."
"Stop focusing on me." His voice was laced with shame and anger. "I'm not the only one in this family with problems."
Before Raph could say something, Leo went on. "If you're all taking care of me, who's making sure Don isn't exhausted all day and night? Who's consoling Mikey?" He leaned in closer. "Who's making sure you don't do something stupid?"
"We'll take care of those problems, Leo. It's good that you watch out for us, but ya ain't our protector any more." He paused. "Since you're so interested in riddles right now, I got some questions for you. Who's your protector? But more importantly, who are you?"
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Leo blanked out again. It was happening a lot today. His brother started to scratch at his cut again; rivulets of crimson flowing down the drain.
This was enough, enough for the day. He'd wait a while before asking him more questions again.
Raph was able to pull the blue-banded turtle's hand away from his cut, but after several attempts to reach Leo, he gave up and got out of the tub. Once out, he shivered slightly from the water's temperature and turned the knob, cutting off the water from the showerhead.
Leo snapped out of his trance and looked up at his brother. Raph reached out a hand, gingerly placing it against Leo's skin. "You're cold." He said.
"I don't care."
"Yeah, well I do."
The two just stared at each other for a few minutes. Raph was the one to break the silence. "Ya comin', or do I have to drag ya outta here?" He offered his hand.
Leo stared at it for a few seconds before taking it. "I don't mean to do this to you guys."
What the hell is he talking about? Leo always seemed to be going off on subjects that his brothers had no idea about.
He hiccuped. "I'm sorry I'm who I am. But… I'm trying." Leo didn't even look at his brother when he walked out.
Raph went after him. "Leo, wait."
He stopped, but he didn't face Raph. "What?"
"Give us a chance, bro." He paused; rephrased his sentence. "Give yourself a chance. We're tryin' to help ya, but you're tryin' to take the easy way out. Things don't always work that way. You of all people should know that."
Leo didn't answer.
Raph sighed. "You don't get it, do you?"
Once again, his brother was silent.
"You eaten?"
Finally, his voice came through. "No." Leo said, "I'm not very hungry."
"You should eat something, Leo. Stop bein' so selfless. Ya don't have to anymore."
Silently, Leo followed Raph into the kitchen.
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Mikey and Don were nowhere in sight. That was the first thing Leo noticed when he came out of the bathroom. The second thing he noticed was that it was almost half after nine. He'd been in there for a while.
Raph quietly got the both of them a small piece of pie after they cleaned up Leo's arm. It wasn't the perfect dinner, but what could you expect from a bunch of teenagers?
They ate without words, something Leonardo was grateful for. For once that day, he felt comfortable. He couldn't feel his other two brothers watching him; heck, even Raph wasn't watching him so closely now.
It was the closest feeling to normal he'd felt in the past week.
When they were done, Raph was the first to get up. He waited for Leo before he said anything. "Whatever ya saw, Leo, you can get over. I know you can."
He clapped him on the shoulder and said goodnight and then Leo was alone.
Standing there, Leo stared off into space. "It's not something I saw, Raphael," he whispered, "it's something I heard." He knew that much.
He wasn't planning on learning anything else.
Leo broke himself out of his position and headed towards his room. He didn't know what he was feeling; he just wanted it to stop.
In his room, he was surprised to see something lying on his bed. Picking it up, he saw it was a CD. A note was sitting on top of it.
Leo,
I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing to you. I didn't know that we were making this worse. I know you like guitars; the only CD you took from me was full of them. I burnt one song on here I thought you might like. It's got a five minute long guitar solo, some of the best stuff I've ever heard. It's not too old of a song, but it isn't something you hear too often anymore. The song's called 'Free Bird' by Lynard Skynard. Leo, I'm really sorry about everything that's happened. You didn't have to sacrifice yourself when we were little. Even if you got on my nerves sometimes, I always liked you for who you were, for being my big brother.
Michaelangelo
Leo put the letter down. When had all of the things he'd done for his brothers come back to hurt them? All of his brothers were suffering now, not just him.
Splinter wasn't the only family member he'd failed now.
That was never supposed to happen.
He'd have to apologize tomorrow. They didn't deserve to be living in guilt. Like him. But there was no time tonight. For once, he was tired.
Turning off the light and lying down in bed, Leo put in the CD Mike had made him. He immediately liked the song. Quickly, he merged with it. The drum became his heart and the guitars became his consciousness.
Completely a part of the music itself, he let himself go, moving throughout the lair and feeling his brothers breathing, living.
Moving in the million directions that only sound had been able to master.
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"E9?" Mikey asked hopefully. He and Donny were playing Battleship in the lab, giving Raph and Leo some room.
"Miss."
"Aw, man." He was so close! He only had to sink one more ship, but he couldn't find it. Granted, he'd only found two of the ships because a mirror sitting behind Don reflected their positions to the orange-clad turtle, but he was still winning.
"B4." Don said. He'd sunk two of Mikey's ships so far, and was well on his way to sinking a third.
Mikey pouted. "Hit." Don watched him with a raised eye-ridge. He sighed. "And sunk."
Donny smiled. And marked his board.
"Um, Don?"
"Yeah?"
Mike swallowed. He hadn't been able to get this off his mind for a while now. "You don't think Leo hates me, do you?"
Don looked up, fully captured by his brother's question. "No… Mikey, you know Leo. Of all of us, he's probably the one who's least bothered by his brothers. Or so I hope" He smiled, obviously trying to cheer his brother up even though he was worried too. "You can get pretty annoying sometimes, but none of us hate you."
He smiled, just to reassure his purple-clad brother, then looked at the door. "Do ya think they're gone now?"
Donny shrugged. "I don't know. But we can check. We're the ones who banished ourselves here, after all."
Outside, they found no one was there.
"They must've gone to bed." Mikey mumbled. He wondered if Leo had seen his note.
With a nod, Don moved to the couch, sitting down and turning on the TV. "We all have our issues, Mikey. It just takes some time to work through them." He looked at Mike as he sat down. "What you did was probably more help than you know."
Mikey looked at Don with an odd expression. What's he talkin' about?
Donny went on. "When you watch Leo, you start to see things about him; little habits or feelings. He doesn't like to talk one-on-one to people when the subject is about him. He doesn't want to know, for some reason, what we think about him; mainly, that we're worried about him. But, if he read your letter, he'll know what you think and, most likely, he'll talk to you about it. It'll be a chance for you to talk him, and I do think he's more comfortable around you, even if he can't stand it most of the time."
They laughed. For the next hour or so, they talked a little; telling a few jokes and whatnot when Mikey yawned. "Do you think it's time for bed yet?"
Making a show of being surprised, Don laughed. "You? Tired? Is that even possible at night?"
"Very funny. But I'm serious."
"All right. I am getting pretty tired, too. Shall we call it a night?"
Mike nodded and they headed upstairs. However, Mikey couldn't resist checking on his elder brother.
In his room, the CD had finished, Leo apparently liking it quite a bit. On a book, the small letter he'd written lay open. Mikey smiled. He read it.
On his arm, Mikey noticed that a small bandage was on Leo's cut.
"He was scratchin' it."
Mikey whirled around to meet Raphael's face. Calming down a little, he asked, "So what'd he say?"
Raph shook his head. "Sorry, that information is classified." His expression darkened. "But it shouldn't be."
"Well, can't you tell me something?" Mikey was a little upset that Raph wouldn't tell him what else was going on.
Meeting his eyes, Raph spoke just a few words. "He said that he's trying."
Nothing else was said. Mikey wondered if Raph had heard him or was checking up on Leo himself.
Leo started to turn, signalizing a nightmare was coming. After Raph, he had them the most.
"He's been having a lot of flashbacks, huh?" he asked.
Raph shook his head slightly, a frown spreading. "Fighting them, mostly. He doesn't want to remember anything about what led him here."
"How come?"
He was silent for a little bit. "I don't know." With that, he walked away.
Mikey watched Leo from the doorway. He made himself scarce when Leo started to wake up.
He waited until he heard Leo relax before walking away, towards his room. But before he left, he heard something that stopped him dead in his tracks, confusing him.
Leo's voice was shaking a little. "They're not like that. I swear."
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Okay, it wasn't that long, but be happy!
Next thing to work on is More. I'll see ya guys soon!
Later!