Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.
A/N: I'm trying to make the story be a little funnier from here, but I've had a funny block, or whatever you wanna call it. Well, time to get started!
Cruddy Diary!
Chapter 4
July 1st
I was not feeling well yesterday… So I told myself I was going to ask Kuki to be my date, right? Well, here's the deal; I was… sick. My stomach was all weird and I was dizzy. Think I got the same thing as Numbuh 2 got here the other day. Luckily for me, there were no missions all day. So… since I was all sick and stuff, I pretty much stayed in front of the TV. Numbuh 1 was bugging me in the beginning, not really believing me about having a stomachache, but then he saw how terrible I looked. He actually wanted me to work on the planning with the others and stuff. But he cut me some slack. And besides, I threw up.
3 days left before the big day. It came so soon! All of the sudden we're planning a big dance! Yikes, I can't say I'm all that prepared. I haven't even gotten my date yet… Err, about that… I'll ask her later today. Yes, I really should, since I didn't do it yesterday.
Hoagie and I were talking about the dance over the breakfast table. We were the only ones in the room at that time.
"This dance is going to be the coolest ever!" Hoagie said, stuffing a piece of bacon in his mouth.
"Yeah, I bet," I replied with a grin. "I'm just not sure… if, well… I should ask Numbuh 3 to be my date."
"I think you totally should, dude!" he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me a few times. "Just do it now, before someone else gets her."
Even Hoagie thinks Kuki's pretty enough to be asked by someone else! Aargh!
"Well, that's kinda what I'm afraid of," I muttered, avoiding eye contact.
"What? To ask her, or her being asked by someone else?" he asked, stuffing a big piece of his egg in his mouth.
"B-both," I stuttered. "Who're you gonna ask?" I wanted to change the subject. I have pride, for crud's sake! Talking about my weak spot for Kuki buries my pride in the dirt!
"Well, I was aiming for Numbuh 5, if she wants to," he answered as he had chewed up and swallowed his food. "I wanted to ask her earlier, but I've decided to say it later today."
Hah! So it's not only me!
I nodded. "What about Numbuh 1? He can't bring Lizzie, since she's not an operative. What do you think he'll do?"
"To be honest, I don't think he cares," Hoagie replied with a frown.
I thought about that for a moment. I really wanted Numbuh 1 to enjoy this night too, not sit around and be cranky because he couldn't bring his girlfriend to the party. Well, actually, I'm not sure if they're a couple now, or whatever they are. All I know is that they like spending time together, and that's good enough for me. I considered them to be a couple. But to be completely honest… I don't like her! Grr, I dislike her very much! She's so annoying it sickens me! Bah!
I lightened up as I got a brilliant idea. "Hoagie! You know what?"
"What?" he replied, surprised by my sudden outburst.
"We should hook Numbuh 1 up with a girl!" I said, smiling widely. I was so eager about it I was almost jumping up and down on my chair.
Hoagie let out a laugh. "Sorry to burst your bubble, man, but I think Numbuh 1 would kill us if we found him a date!"
"No, he wouldn't!" I replied. "Come on! This is, like, the best idea ever!"
"Well, considering the fact that you never have any good ideas, I must agree that this is your best one yet," Hoagie mocked, laughing a little. "Face it, Wally! It would never work. He'd refuse!"
I stared at him for a while, piecing together what he'd just said. Then I frowned at him. "Are you saying that I'm stupid?"
He just shook his head slightly to himself. "Look, all I'm saying is that it's a terrible idea. Numbuh 1 would never agree."
"Oh, but I have it all figured out," I told him, a cocky grin on my face. "We have to go the Moon Base tomorrow to report for that mission last week that went down the drain anyway. So I figured we could ask a certain person up there to date Numbuh 1."
If the curiosity kills me on this one, the mission we had last week wasn't important. We just couldn't take down Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb's stupid machine, so they went on a rampage. Anyway!
"Who?" Hoagie was leaning closer, his eyes wide with curiosity.
"Numbuh 362," I finally said, grinning.
"What?" he muttered in a low voice, his eye twitching.
"They would make a great couple for the dance, don't you think?"
"Well… I suppose it would be cool, but I'm pretty sure Numbuh 1 won't ask her if we tell him to," he replied.
"I know!" I said. "That's why we're asking her for him!"
"Are you nuts?" he exclaimed, straightening up.
I stared at him for a while. Then I muttered: "Yes. So are you in?"
"No way, man!" he answered, getting up to bring his now empty plate to the counter. "I don't think I want to humiliate him like that. If I knew he'd take it easy, then maybe. But knowing the fact that he'll personally kill us if we do makes it less tempting. Sorry, but you're on your own with this." He then walked across the floor and left the room.
"Jerk!" I muttered angrily, crossing my arms over my chest. "Fine, I'll do it all by myself! I bet Numbuh 1'll be happy I did it. At least he'll get someone better than Lizzie! He'll be thanking me by the end of the night, and Numbuh 2 can just wish he was in on it so he'd also get credit for finding a new girl for our leader."
I am determined to do this, with or without Numbuh 2. It's the greatest idea ever! I'll find a new girl for our leader. Our leader, who is pathetic when it comes to picking the right girls…
…
7 p.m.: I choked! Crud! I was this close to asking Kuki, but then I just couldn't! Why is it suddenly so hard? It didn't use to be this hard… I get all nervous now. I noticed how she was all weird this morning after breakfast. I figured she was a little tired or something. After all, everybody has their bad days. But I have a feeling it has something to do with me not asking her to be my date at the dance. Bah! I feel bad about it now…
I mean, even Numbuh 2 asked Numbuh 5 to be his date!
…
July 2nd
I hate myself sometimes… But muhahaha! I unleashed my idea! Okay, here's what happened.
We went to the Moon Base because of that stupid mission that went wrong. We should have reported it a long time ago, but something showed up and stuff, so they didn't have time for us to report it. Not at all important. To be honest, I don't wanna talk about it…
Up at the Moon Base, Numbuh 362 was supposed to see us, but she was, for some reason, occupied with her work when we showed up. We had to wait for a little while. No problem, I love the Moon Base! It's so awesomely awesome! This gave me more time to admire it.
When Numbuh 362 finally could see us, she read our report. She's told us before to get better at writing reports, but at least she didn't complain this time, because Numbuh 1 had written it by himself. The rest of us tend to screw it up, except Numbuh 5, though. We talked a little bit about the mission and what went wrong and what we could do the next time.
When we were done talking and about to leave, I walked up to Numbuh 362. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a date for the dance yet, do you?"
She gave me an awkward stare. "Well, no. I wasn't planning to stay there all night. Somebody has to guard the Moon Base while everyone else is busy dancing the night away. Why do you ask?"
"Numbuh 1 needs a date," I answered with a wide smile. I swear she blushed!
"Well, I don't know if I can get someone to cover for me the rest of the night," she said, avoiding eye contact.
"Don't worry, someone will," I replied. "I could cover for you if you can't get anybody else."
She laughed at that. Was that funny? I didn't mean it as a joke. Or was she mocking me? But I was serious about it! I'd do anything to be the matchmaker of Numbuh 1 and her. I think they would fit well together.
"I'm not sure about that, Numbuh 4," she said, smiling. "And besides, if Numbuh 1 wants me to be his date, why isn't he asking me himself?" She glanced over at the four others. They were busy talking about the mission and what went wrong. Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 5 were now arguing whose fault it was. Numbuh 3 wasn't really paying attention.
"Because… I'm hooking you two up," I replied. "And because Numbuh 1 seriously needs a date – a real date!"
Numbuh 362 smiled flattered. "Well, I don't know…" She looked at Numbuh 1. He noticed her and looked back.
"You'd love to be Numbuh 362's date for the dance, wouldn't you, Numbuh 1?" I called over to him.
His eyes widened with shock. He stared at me over his shades, his mouth open.
The others were now looking at him, too. Numbuh 5 smiled, Numbuh 3 giggled, Numbuh 2 shot him an odd stare. Then he looked at me and grinned.
"What are you talking about, Numbuh 4?" Numbuh 1 finally managed to ask.
"You need a date," I replied with a grin. "So I'm hooking you up."
I swear Numbuh 1's eyes burned at me there for a second. "I'm perfectly capable of getting myself a date, thank you very much. What is the idea of butting into my private life?"
At this point I felt like I'd blown it big time.
"I agree with you Numbuh 1," Numbuh 362 said. "I mean, I wasn't even supposed to have a date for the dance."
Numbuh 1 seemed to calm down. "Well, I … Me neither… but maybe Numbuh 4's right… So, well… I suppose we could hang out at the dance." Was it out of guilt that he said what he said? Does it matter? Hah! I rock! So I got those two together in the most awkward way.
Numbuh 362's face lit up. "Yes, I suppose so, too," she said. "So… I'll see you at the dance, then."
"At the dance," Numbuh 1 replied with a nervous smile.
After that we left her office. Numbuh 1 has still not said a lot to me. I guess he's a little upset with me about embarrassing him like that, but hey, it was worth it!
Numbuh 5 patted my shoulder as we made our way back to the space docks to get to our ship. "That was so awesome," she said with a grin. "But you realize that Numbuh 1'll be holding a grudge against you for a little while, right?"
I nodded. "But it was totally worth it!"
"You're crazy!" she laughed. "He could have killed you in there."
I suddenly noticed Numbuh 873 when we had reached the ship. He walked over to us, aiming for Numbuh 3.
"Hi, Numbuh 3," he said with a smile that made me sick to my stomach!
"Hi, Numbuh 873!" She replied with a grin.
"I just wanted to ask you something," he said, taking one of her hands in his.
The anger burned inside of me now. I was so pissed off! And the jealousy! It was taking control!
"About what?" she asked him.
"Do you have a date for the dance yet?"
Her face dropped. "Well, not yet, but -…"
A satisfied smile lit up his face. He does look great and all, with his brown hair and blue eyes. And he's actually tall! Taller than Numbuh 3, so I suppose she's a little seduced by that. I hate him! "So, you wouldn't happen to want to go with me, would you?"
She smiled and was about to answer, but I interrupted.
"As a matter of fact, Aaron, Numbuh 3's going with me! So you just run along now, before I have to do something drastic to make you leave her alone!"
They both stared at me. Numbuh 873 lowered his eyebrows.
"Listen, you little punk!" he started, walking closer to me. "She doesn't need you to answer for her all the time! So you leave her alone!"
"Well, she doesn't need you at all, so get lost!" I hissed at him, clenching my fists.
Numbuh 3 just stood there and looked at us, not knowing what to do. We were standing outside the ship, the three others already onboard.
"I think that's her decision, shrimp!" he snapped.
"What did you call me?"
"You heard me," he said, narrowing his eyes at me. "Shrimp!"
"Alright! That does it!" I attacked him, tightening a grip around his throat as I pinned him to the floor. He fought back, grabbing a hold of my hoodie and pulling me off of him. He kicked my leg hard as he got back up. I got up, too, before I once again charged.
"Stop it!" Numbuh 3 hollered.
We ignored her. Numbuh 873 fell to his back when I jumped him. I hit him hard in the face, and he hit me pretty hard back. He managed to kick me off of him. I landed on my back with a cry of pain. He then got on top of me, hitting me hard in the face again. He then grabbed my head and slammed it into the hard floor, causing me to see stars.
"Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 1 called out from the ship. "You two stop that right now!" He came running over to us, followed by Numbuh 5.
"Make them stop!" Numbuh 3 cried.
Numbuh 1 grabbed Numbuh 873 around the waist and pulled him off of me. "What is your problem?" he demanded.
I got up and gave Numbuh 873 another punch in the face before he got to answer my leader.
Numbuh 5 grabbed a hold of me. "Relax, you moron!"
"Don't ever call me shrimp, you cruddy loser!" I shouted at Numbuh 873.
"I'm a winner compared to you!" he replied. "Besides, you are a little shrimp, shorty!"
"That's it?" Numbuh 1 exclaimed as Numbuh 873 squirmed out of his grip. "That's why you're fighting? This is pathetic! Numbuh 873, back on duty! Numbuh 4, get on the ship!"
"Sorry, Numbuh 1," Numbuh 873 muttered, shooting me an angry glare.
Numbuh 5 let go of me again. I was about to attack that big twit once more, but I stopped as I saw the look on Numbuh 1's face.
"See you around, Numbuh 3," Numbuh 873 said before walking off.
I made an ugly face behind his back as he left the docks. Then I followed the others onboard the ship.
"Hey, Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 2 called out to me. "What happened out there?"
I was too angry to answer. "Crud!" I shouted and walked to the back of the ship. I was too restless to sit down now. I had to get out the rest of my aggressive anger. I kicked the back of my seat.
"Numbuh 4 – sit down!" Numbuh 1 ordered. "We're taking off now!"
I did what he said, muttering a few curse words under my breath. Numbuh 3 looked over at me from her seat next to mine. She looked disappointed with me. It seemed like she had to force her tears back to keep herself from crying.
I lowered my head in shame, suddenly feeling very guilty. I don't know why, but it was something about her unhappiness that made me feel that way. Besides, I knew I had blown it now. I knew that she'd never want to go to the dance with me after this. I thought maybe she'd forgotten about this whole thing in a few weeks or so.
Back home I ran all the way to my room. I started hitting my punching bag and stuff to wear myself out. I am now really tired and depressed. I'm satisfied about hooking Numbuh 1 up with Numbuh 362 for the dance, but now I won't have a date myself.
Oh, crud! Numbuh 3's here! She's outside my room. Gotta go!
…
A while later: Wow… Did this really happen? She was knocking on my door, calling for me to open it. So I did.
"Hey, Numbuh 3…" I said hesitatingly when I'd opened my door.
"I-I need to talk to you," she muttered, avoiding eye contact for a few seconds. Then she looked me right in the eye. "About what happened with Numbuh 873."
I felt a certain feeling in my stomach as she said that, as if something had hit me there. Maybe it was the guilt, I don't know.
She twisted her long green sleeves. "Thank you…"
I stared at her, not sure if I'd heard right. "Huh?"
"I'm glad you answered for me," she told me. "I'm not sure if I could have said no to him. I actually wanted to go with you all along, but you never said anything. I was afraid something was wrong."
"N-no!" I replied. "I… I was going to ask you. I just, err… needed some time to… Well, you know."
She smiled. I returned the smile.
"But the next time you want to ask me on a date, don't take so long," she said with a teasing voice and giggled. "Or attack other guys just because they're asking me out. You can tell them to back off, though."
"I promise," I replied with a funny smile. "I'll try not to attack."
She laughed and embraced me. I blushed like an idiot. She let go of me again, and her smile seemed to grow wider as she noticed how my face had turned red. She giggled again.
"Well, see ya!" she said. "I'm hungry, so I'll go get something to eat." She turned around and skipped away.
I am now very, very happy! So I should go get something to eat as well. I'm quite hungry.
…
July 3rd
All we did yesterday after we got back home from the Moon Base was preparing the dance. We did that today, too, basically. I've ordered the food. Tacos it is! Yum! The others voted for that, too. After I finished my work with the food, I decided to help the girls with the decoration. Well, actually, I did it to be around Numbuh 3.
Numbuh 2 finished off his work today, too. So then he figured he'd help the rest of us out. He walked up to me.
Numbuh 2: Hey, Numbuh 4. I think I'll eat about 20 tacos tomorrow. Wanna join in on another bet?
Me: Err…
Numbuh 2: Of course, you don't have to if you're scared of losing.
Me: I'm scared of eating myself to death! I'm not sure if it's healthy to eat 20 tacos either.
Numbuh 2: Since when did you care about what's healthy?
Me: …Good point. But I'm still not in. I don't want you to win the label as the Almighty Taco Muncher as well.
Numbuh 2: As you wish.
He probably thinks I'm a wuss now. Crud!
We had a great time decorating the Treehouse, especially the main room. We talked and laughed and ordered pizza. Numbuh 1 joined us as well after a while.
"Numbuh 4 – would you wash over the floor here real quick?" Numbuh 1 asked me and looked around. "It looks pretty bad now."
See what I mean? If I'm not really "busy" with anything, he gives me a lame job like washing the floor! But I had to do as he said. I groaned in despair and went to get a bucket with soap and water.
"I'll help you," Numbuh 3 said cheerfully and followed me. I was happy she wanted to join me. It wouldn't be as boring that way.
We returned soon with the bucket and rags we were going to use. We started washing the floors. Numbuh 3 got a little bored after a while. She picked up an empty tape holder and smiled. She brought it over to the bucket and dipped it in the water. When she took it up again she blew gently through the hole of the holder. She was making bubbles with it.
I observed her. "Cool!" I exclaimed and looked for another round object we could use. I found a little piece of wire that had been cut off from one of the decorations. I made it into a little loop, and then dipped it in the water. I started blowing bubbles as well.
"Look!" Kuki exclaimed as she pointed at a huge bubble she'd made.
"I bet I can make a bigger one!" I said and stared blowing more. Soon there were bubbles flying around us everywhere.
Kuki poked one of the bubbles with her finger and giggled as it popped. She dipped the holder in the water again and blew a few bubbles towards me. I got them in my face, which was not very pleasant. I sent her an evil grin and dipped the wire in the water. Then I blew a few bubbles at her as well.
She tried to escape the bubbles, but some of them hit her in the face and popped. "Ew, I got soap in my mouth!"
"So did I," I replied and smiled.
She walked over to the bucket and got a handful of soap water. She threw it at me. I tried to dodge away, but she hit me on my jeans.
"Oh, you've done it now!" I exclaimed and got over to the bucket. She started to run away as I picked up one of the rags that was dripping with soap water. I ran after her.
"No, Wally!" she cried and glanced over her shoulder. "You're not throwing that thing at me!"
"We'll see about that!" I replied. I waited until I thought I could make a good shot. Then I threw it on her back. It was really wet, so she got a big wet spot on the back of her sweater. She cried out in surprise as the water ran down her back. Then she turned around and picked up the rag.
"It's still wet," she said with an evil grin.
"Uh-oh!" I exclaimed and spun around. I ran as fast as I could across the room. She was right behind me. She threw it after a while, hitting my back. Then I decided it was time to make her pay, muhahaha! I picked up the rag and threw it at her before she even had time to run away. Then I ran over to the bucket to get the other rag.
Kuki was right behind me. I threw the rag at her. She didn't react much, just dipped her rag in the bucket and quickly threw it in my face.
"You'll seriously pay for that!" I cried. She just giggled and threw the other rag at me as well.
I bent down and picked up the bucket this time.
"No!" Kuki cried, her eyes wide with fear. Of course, we were just having fun, so she was still smiling. She tried to run, but she realized she wouldn't get far before I threw all the water over her. So when I lifted the bucket to pour it over her, she grabbed the other end of it and tried to force the water over me instead. We were both laughing pretty hard at the time. Suddenly I slipped on one of the rags, almost falling down. I managed to screw up Kuki's balance so she almost fell, too. Somehow we managed to fall to the floor with the bucket in our hands. All the water got poured out over us.
We both burst out in laughter as we lay on the floor, completely soaked. I laughed so hard my stomach started to hurt. Kuki didn't laugh any less. We suddenly noticed how the others were watching us.
"Having fun?" Numbuh 5 asked with a sly smile.
Well, we managed to clean the floors at the end. After we had changed and stuff, that is.
Today was a great day, I must say. Even if we had to wash a few floors, it was worth it. I'm glad Kuki and I can have so much fun together. I think I'm starting to like her even better now. I wonder why that is… All we did was splashing each other down.
Well, I'm off to bed. Big day tomorrow! I have a lot to do when it comes to the food and stuff. So yeah. I should go to bed now.