She had done the right thing. The only thing she could have done under the circumstances. Since the amalgamation of Tuvok and Neelix due to a unique species of plant and the transporter, the resulting individual had endeared himself to the crew. Tuvix, as he had named himself, had been a superior officer due to Tuvok's knowledge and experience together with Neelix's creative ability. The messhall certainly hadn't suffered, becoming more popular as Neelix's enthusiasm with leola root and spices was tempered by Tuvok's caution, the food created being received with enthusiasm.

At first, Tuvix had been an accident, which would be rectified at first opportunity. But when it seemed unlikely a 'cure' would be found, Tuvix had been integrated into the crew, becoming a fine officer and good friend in his own right.

But a solution had been found. And so the dilemma had been born. "I don't want to die," Tuvix had said devastatingly. He had protested, "I have the right to live!"

At which point had Tuvix become an individual?

Tuvix had made a scene on the bridge as he struggled with the decision he intuitively knew she had made. But then, he had accepted it. And he had made a speech, apologising for the fact that his death would be on the crew's consciences, praising them as good people. He had given them his forgiveness.

The entire bridge crew had lowered their gazes, unable to meet his eyes. All of them, except Janeway. She had made the only choice she could. Tuvix was simply an error to be corrected, wasn't he?

Or was that the justification a guilty mind comes up with?

Janeway forced away that thought, lowering her gaze from the stars she'd been studying to the couch, refusing to let the tears fall, refusing to give in to the maelstrom of emotion surrounding her, clenching her fists at the effort. Finally, she gained control of her physical reaction to her thoughts and let out a breath. But she was unable to prevent her mind from returning to the events that had been troubling her…

The Doctor had refused to conduct the procedure, citing his oath not to take life. It was murder, was his unvoiced opinion, and his ethical subroutines would not allow him to go through with it. She had nodded, taken over and injected the isotope that would highlight one of the two's genetic structure and enable her to beam him out of Tuvix, thus leaving two separate life forms again. Janeway had coldly called out her actions as she completed the procedure. Tuvok and Neelix were separated. And Tuvix…was gone.

She tightened her lips, banishing the slight trembling. She had done the right thing! Tuvix had never been anything more than the fusion of Tuvok and Neelix and she had simply reversed the process. Janeway had seen the happiness on Kes' face as the tiny Ocampa launched herself into Neelix's arms. Dear Kes, who had suffered so much, was now untormented and happy again with Neelix. Everything would go back to normal; this unfortunate incident would have no lasting repercussions.

But why did she feel as though she had taken the life of an innocent person? It was absurd, she thought fiercely, she'd never murdered a sentient being and she never would. All she had done was separate Tuvok and Neelix, both of whom were grateful to have their lives back.

But Tuvix…how do you classify him? The niggling voice in her head persisted. The situation with Tuvix had been an impossible one and she'd dealt with it as best she could, she argued.

"I don't want to die!"

Janeway flinched at that memory, then relaxed as it faded, to be replaced of a more pleasant one, a memory of the many conversations she'd shared with Tuvix. He had been such a pleasant person to talk to, thoughtful but humorous…

Her mouth opened in horror as a thought occurred to her. The many conversations she'd shared with Tuvix, not Tuvok, not Neelix, but with a person with his own unique personality! True, his personality had contained fused parts of each, but it was distinctive, individual and-

"The whole is never greater than the sum of its parts." She recalled those words with some confusion. Who had said… "I think Tuvix is disproving that," Chakotay smiled.

Ah yes, on the bridge. She remembered that carefree time before the decision. Chakotay had been referring to Tuvix- being more than the two people he had been created from.

"Oh god," she whispered. Her sense of inner turmoil increased as she struggled with the thought that perhaps she acted rashly, without considering all the sides. Tuvok and Neelix had had people who cared about them individually, in different ways, she thought desperately, trying to validate her decision. They couldn't live like that! What about Kes? Or T'Pel? This affected them; they had to be considered.

She shook her head, not willing to succumb to doubt. A Captain, once having made up her mind, must remain certain of her decision and not give in to personal doubts and worries, which had nothing to do with her professional life and no sway over her command decisions. As Captain, she could not second-guess herself or she would never be able to keep the trust of her crew; they would never believe in, follow her command if she couldn't even make a simple decision and stick to it. Then again, it hadn't been that simple…

"I made the right choice." But she couldn't believe that anymore.

The room filled with the sound of heartbroken weeping.