Disclaimer: I am the almighty creator of Kids Next Door! Yeah, no, that was a lie. I don't own anything.
A/N: I know there was a lot of cursing going on in the previous chapter, but I was really running out of PG curse words after a while. And I know they have very mild curse words in the cartoon, but in real life I know of 8-year-olds who curse more than I do. Either way, there's a lot less cursing going on in this chapter, so enjoy!
…
Cruddy Diary!
Chapter 6
July 5th
Clean-up day… We got up pretty early due to a nasty wake-up call. Numbuh 1 can be pretty cruel sometimes. Seriously! I think he used a freaking fog horn or something to get everyone out of bed! It was loud, it was creepy and it scared the crud out of me! He sounded that thing over the intercom system throughout the Treehouse. Then he told us that it was time to get up and start cleaning.
I swear he'll pay for that! He'll pay for it, even if it's the last thing I do! I talked to Numbuh 2 about it while we were cleaning up the decorations.
"That was low, even for him," Numbuh 2 muttered as he tugged some glittery things down from the wall.
"What should we do to get back at him?" I asked.
"Well, we should get him on one of our days off," he replied. "We have to get up before him, though."
"Aw, crud!" I muttered. "I can't get up before him! I'll have to stay up all night and just get him right before the sun gets up or something."
"Is it really worth skipping a night's sleep, Wally?" he asked, frowning.
"I suppose not," I replied and threw some of the decorations in a pile on the floor. "We'll just have to torture ourselves with getting up really early. We should sound some alarm or something. My dad's alarm clock is insane! We should use that! It could wake you up if you're sleeping in a bomb shelter a block away, I swear!"
Numbuh 2 let out a laugh. "Yeah, that'd be something! I can't wait to see the look on his face!"
I laughed, too. "Then it's a deal! We'll wake Numbuh 1 up just the way he woke us up."
"Yes, indeed," he said and grinned.
I picked up a pile of decorations. "Hey, Hoagie? Do you know what we're supposed to do with this?"
"Just defenestrate it," he replied and waved me off.
I froze and stared at him. "What the heck did you just say?"
He had turned his back at me, picking up some trash from the floor. "What? You don't know what that means?"
"That wasn't English!" I cried.
He turned around, all red in the face as he was forcing himself not to laugh. "Oh, yes, that was very English." He had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing out loud.
"It can't be!" I snapped. "What does it mean?"
He now started to laugh really hard. He had to sit down on the floor, while kicking his feet on the floor boards as he laughed. "It's hilarious!" he cried out between his laughter kicks.
"No, it's not!" I shouted, standing there and not getting any of it.
He was calming down now, rubbing his eyes behind the goggles. "It-it means to throw something out of a window," he explained, chuckling. "You throw it out the window, you defenestrate it, get it?"
I started to laugh now, too. "Man, you're such a geek! How the heck did you find out about that word?"
"Can't really remember," he replied and grinned. "But it's such a funny word. I can't believe it's actually a part of the English language."
"I've gotta start using it!" I said eagerly and grinned.
"I call I get to use it on Numbuh 1!" he called out.
"Aww, man, you always get the good ones," I muttered.
"You can get Numbuh 3 or Numbuh 5 with it," he replied.
"That's not half as funny as getting Numbuh 1 with it," I told him.
"I know," he replied and sent me a sly grin, getting up from the floor. "And even funnier was it to get you with it. I had no idea how cool it actually would be. Oh, and you should have seen your face!" He let out another laugh.
I smiled at him. "You really suck sometimes, you know that?"
"Yes, I do, Wallabee!" He stuck out his tongue at me before he got back to work on getting the room clean.
Hoagie Gilligan is a weirdo. But I have to admit that that weirdo is my best friend. And even though Numbuh 1 can be a pain in the butt sometimes, he's also my best friend.
Hmm, too much mushy stuff right here. I'll go find something to do now.
…
July 6th
Things are so weird. I hardly dare to look at Kuki. And she's been avoiding me. Have I done something wrong? I feel so terrible… Aargh, I hate love! It makes me all depressed! And I don't like that. Oh, why did I have to go kissing her on the cheek the other day? I think that's why things are so strange between us now. I can't stand making mistakes like that,because I never realize it was a mistake before it's too late. And now it feels like it's too late… I can't go back now, I've kissed her on the cheek and now she knows pretty much what I feel about her. I've either screwed up a perfectly good friendship, or I've just started a love game. Kuki seemed like she felt the same way the other day, so why is she so strange now? She was playing the game, too. But now… she's refusing to roll the dies. And now I want out!
…
5:45 pm:
I just went home to see Mom and Dad. They told me something I was hoping wouldn't come up this summer at all. They're taking me and Joey on a vacation! We're going on a road trip with no certain destination. Mom told me she just wanted us to go and see some of America, other than our own backyard. Parents! They always have some smart things to say, or so they think. I'd rather stay here and play in the backyard than going on that stupid trip! But Dad told me that it would be fun, and blah, blah. He's always so optimistic, it drives me nuts sometimes! How come I'm the only normal person in our family? Even Joey's becoming a freak, like them! And he stinks, too.
We're leaving in a week. I think I'll just stay here the next few days. Like eight days, so I know they'll be gone when I come back home. I don't think they can come here and drag me out. We don't make exceptions. We'll attack them even if they are my parents.
My shoulder hurts. Hoagie punched me playfully earlier, but it really hurt. I punched him back, and he got a little upset with me since I got so angry and all. It's not really important. We're planning to watch a horror movie later. There was this one movie I wanted to see, but Numbuh 2 told me he wanted to save it for a more special occasion. Yeah right! He chickened out! He's too scared to watch it, that big liar! I'll just force him to watch it tonight! Maybe he'll get a nightmare! That would have been so funny!
I wonder if we could get Kuki to watch it with us. Maybe she'll be scared. Wait, scratch that. Of course she'll be scared! But maybe she'll be so scared that she needs to hold on to something. And maybe she'll sit next to me, and then cling to me as the movie gets scarier. I wouldn't mind that. In fact, I'd love that! Err, then again… I still feel weird about what happened the other night. And it's strange how we haven't said a word to each other after that. It's actually quite heartbreaking…
1:15 am:
I'm so tired right now. I just got back from watching the movies. We watched two movies, the one he wanted to see, and the one I wanted. I got my will, and Hoagie did seem scared. Here's what happened:
We had been playing videogames for a while. It was fun! Then Hoagie put away the game controller.
"Wanna watch a movie now?" he asked. "This is getting boring."
"What, are you kidding?" I asked in a state pretty close to hyperventilation, bouncing up and down on the couch. "This thing never gets old! I could sit here and crash these cars all day!"
"We have been crashing cars all day, Numbuh 4," he replied monotonously. "I'm tired of it now. I want to do something else." No, we hadn't been doing it all day! Maybe all night, though…
"Go throw a ball around or something," I replied. "I'm having the time of my life right here."
"Man, you promised we'd watch that movie!" he claimed.
I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Can't we do that tomorrow?"
He got up angrily. "Fine! Do whatever you want to do! Don't care about your friends. Especially not your best friend who's been sitting here with you for the last few hours playing a video game he's not really that into as you are just for your sake! He's not important at all!" He was about to leave the room.
"Alright…" I muttered. When he didn't react to what I'd said, I got a little worried, for some strange reason. "Wait! Hoagie, hang on! We can watch the movie. I was just… kidding. I was testing you to see if you'd really leave."
He glanced back at me from the other side of the room. "You're a terrible liar sometimes, you know that?" Then he smiled. "But alright, let's watch that movie!" He walked back to the couch to help me decide which one to watch.
"I wanna watch this one," I told him, holding up a DVD.
"But I wanna watch this one," he replied, grabbing hold of a different DVD. "I thought we sort of had agreed to watch that one."
"No we hadn't!" I shot back. "And this one is way scarier! It's better!"
"How do you know?" he asked. "You haven't even seen it. I say we watch this one."
"Well, who made you the boss, huh?"
"Guys!" a voice called out from the doorway. We turned around to see Kuki standing there, cuddling one of her Rainbow thingies.
"Hi, Kuki," Hoagie said with a smile.
She smiled back. "Look, if you two can't decide what to watch, why don't you just watch both?"
We both stared at her for a second before looking at each other.
"Sounds like a good idea," Hoagie agreed with a smile.
"Yeah," I grinned. Then I looked at Kuki. "Wanna watch it with us?"
"Sure!" she exclaimed and skipped over to us. She sat down next to me and placed the stupid stuffed animal on her lap. "What are we watching?"
I held up the cover of the DVD in front of her. "Horror!" I tried to sound scary. It made her jump a little.
"But that's really spooky," she said.
"That's the point," I replied.
"We're watching my movie first," Hoagie announced and got up to put in the DVD.
"Hey!" I cried.
"Then we'll watch yours, okay?" he added and shot me a glare.
"Fine," I muttered irritated. "We'll be in a better scary-movie mood by then anyway. And we're saving the best, so hah."
I didn't look like Hoagie heard me. He walked back to us and jumped onto the couch. The movie started. I asked Hoagie to go turn off the light, but he refused.
Me: "What's the matter? Are you afraid of the dark?"
Hoagie: "No, I just don't bother to turn the light off. I just sat down again."
Me: "So?"
Hoagie: "So, you do it!"
Me: "Why?"
Hoagie: "Because I it doesn't matter to me! You're the one that wanted the room to be dark. Well, if it matters that much to ya, then you go turn it off!"
Me: "It sets a better mood, that's why I want the light off."
Hoagie: "Like I care! We're just gonna watch a movie!"
I groaned in annoyance and got up from the couch. I walked over to the wall and turned the light off. Then I walked back to sit between Kuki and Hoagie. I shot Hoagie a glare before I started to concentrate about the movie. The first scene was rather unpleasant. It freaked Kuki out. She grabbed my arm, clinging to it. In her other arm, she was squeezing the life out of her Rainbow Monkey.
I looked at her. "You okay?"
She looked back at me, her eyes reveling fear. "S-sure…" she whispered.
I suddenly felt bad for her. She looked so small and scared. "Look, Kuki… You don't have to watch this movie if you don't want to."
"But I do," she replied, smiling slightly.
I wasn't really sure about that, but I left her alone. I don't know why I suddenly felt sorry for her! That was strange! Was it because of my crush on her? That I felt like I had to protect her or something? Aargh! I feel so gay saying crud like this! This isn't me! Blah, blah, I like Kuki, blah, blah! Well, I do like her, but I hate saying it… or writing it.
Anyway… Kuki sat close to me throughout the movie. Towards the end, she rested her head on my shoulder. My face turned bright red, or at least I think it did. I'm just glad no one could see it in the dim light from the TV screen.
When the movie was over, I got up to put in the next one. That was one scary movie! I'll NEVER see that alone! What if that thing is under my covers? I have to check…
I checked, and it's just fine. There's nothing under the covers.
Okay, so, before I went to my room, Kuki asked me if I could follow her to her room. She was totally freaked out by the movie, she was actually trembling as she grabbed on to my hand. I walked next to her all the way up to her room. She turned on the lights and checked the room real quick, still not letting my hand go. But she let her Rainbow Monkey down on her bed.
"Don't worry, Kuki," I told her. "It's just a movie. Nothing like that actually exists. Just relax."
"How can you be so sure?" she asked me. She grabbed my other hand with her free hand as well. She was now facing me, looking at me with two worried violet eyes. She's so pretty when she's worried.
Ahem! Yes, well… I just stood there and stared at her for a second. I think I got lost in her eyes for a moment. I shook my head. "That movie was filmed in a movie studio," I told her. "They were all actors. So there is no way it could really exist. Besides, even if it did, you wouldn't have had to worry."
She sighed. "You're right, Wally…"
"Anyway, if you get scared, you can always come down to my room," I said.
She smiled. That beautiful smile! I could watch her smile for hours and hours.
I might need a bucket with cold water thrown over my head soon…
"Thank you," she said, still smiling. Then she threw her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. My face was reaching about 300 degrees!
"Yeah, sure," I muttered and patted her back carefully. I let my hand run through her hair once, but I was too shy to do it again.
She let go of me again and giggled. "You should see your face now. It's redder than Numbuh 1's favorite shirt!"
"Somehow I actually knew that," I muttered and took a step back. "Well, I guess I'll see you in the morning. Sleep tight."
"Goodnight, Wally," she replied with a grin.
I turned around awkwardly and left the room. I felt like I couldn't really breathe. She is obviously becoming more than just a crush to me. She keeps taking my breath away… So… I don't really have to ponder it, I know I love her. It must be love.
How many times have I actually written that by now?
Alright, I'll go to bed. I need sleep. I just hope I can sleep…
…
July 7th
Holy crud! I woke up just a few minutes ago – and Kuki was in my room! She was sitting next to me up here. I was so freaked out!
I got up. "Whoa!"
"Morning," she said.
"Kuki! What the crud are you doing here?" I shouted.
"Well, I couldn't sleep," she told me. "So… I came in here. But when I saw you sleeping so peacefully, I didn't feel like waking you up." She giggled. "You talk in your sleep!"
I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I stared at her. "Wh-why couldn't you sleep? And I do not talk in my sleep!"
"Yes, you do!" she replied, laughing. "How do you know that you don't? Have you ever watched yourself sleep before?"
"Well, no, but -"
"Exactly, but I have," she interrupted with a grin. "It's cute, though!"
She's absolutely nuts..!
I ran my fingers through my hair and yawned. "What time is it.?"
"I think it's 4:30 or something," she replied.
"What?" I shouted. "Man, I'm going back to sleep!"
"Fine," she muttered. "I'll just sit here a while longer… 'til the sun's up, so I can go back to my room."
I stared at her for a moment with a guilty look on my face. "Kuki… You don't have to sit here… Is it because you're scared?"
She nodded, avoiding eye contact.
I sighed. "Look, I already explained this to you. It was just a movie! Would you relax?"
"It's not only that that scares me," she told me. "You don't understand anything…"
There was only silence for a while. Then I pulled the blanket off and moved over to her, putting my arm around her shoulders. "Would you feel better if I let you sleep here?"
She glanced at me and nodded.
We went to her room to get her pillow and blanket, and a few stuffed animals. I offered to carry it all for her. Back in my room, she settled right next to me, hugging one of her Rainbow dweebs to her chest. She closed her eyes wearily.
I carefully touched her arm. "Sleep tight, now," I whispered.
Her eyes opened slightly, a small smile on her face. She took my hand in hers. Then she closed her eyes again, trying to sleep.
I wanted to sleep, but it is quite hard now. I've already been sleeping for a few hours. Then I've been up and running, plus I was worried about Kuki. And now she, the most beautiful creature on the face of this planet, was sleeping next to me!
She's been sleeping for a good 30 minutes now. I'll let her sleep. I'm glad she's not awake to see me writing in this thing. Anyway… Think I'll go to get something to drink real quick. I'm thirsty…
…
5:36 am:
HAHAHA! That's the coolest thing I've ever done!
Okay, as I was getting a drink in the kitchen, Numbuh 2 showed up. He told me he had been to the bathroom, and then he heard something in the kitchen, which he thought was strange at this hour. I told him why I was up. I started to complain about being up now, and that I'd rather sleep.
"Wally!" Hoagie exclaimed. "I got a great idea!"
"What?"
"Remember what we talked about here a few days ago?" he asked. "About Numbuh 1?"
"Oh, that we were getting him back for waking us up?" I suddenly got the picture. "Hoagie – that's the best idea you've ever had! And the good thing is that I brought with me the alarm clock yesterday, since we'd talked about it!"
"Cool!" he said. "Go get it! Numbuh 1 has a date with it!"
I ran as silently as I could back to my room. I took a quick look at Kuki to make sure she was still sleeping. Then I got the alarm clock from my backpack and left the room in a hurry. Hoagie met me in the hall upstairs, and we walked together all the way to Numbuh 1's room. We hesitated outside his door.
"Go on," he said.
"Nu-uh, you go first!" I whispered.
"You're the one with the alarm clock," he said.
"Then you need to go in and check if the coast is clear, while I mind the clock," I replied
He sighed and knew he had lost. He carefully turned the doorknob and opened the door. Then he walked into the dark bedroom. I was right behind him. We made our way over by Numbuh 1's bed. He was sleeping heavily.
Hoagie smiled at me. I got the clock ready, set to ring in about a minute. Then Hoagie and I went over to the closet to hide.
It felt like we waited for an hour, though it was just a couple of minutes. Then the alarm clock started making a loud, ear piercing sound.
Nigel practically jumped through the ceiling! He let out a tiny cry and looked around to see what made that infernal sound. He looked scared out of his mind!
Hoagie and I started laughing hysterically! We fell to the floor outside the closet, holding our tummies as we shouted in laughter.
The sound stopped, but that didn't stop us from laughing. I was crying and losing my breath as I couldn't stop laughing.
"Numbuh 2! Numbuh 4!" Nigel screamed. "What the heck are you two doing?"
I was rolling on to my back, laughing even harder. I stomped my feet on the floor, holding my hands over my tummy.
"We-we were just – HAHAHA!" Hoagie couldn't answer either.
"That was not funny, guys!" Nigel shouted. "You scared me to death!"
I could finally get up from the floor. I rubbed my eyes before I looked at my leader. "Now you know how we felt two days ago, when you woke us up," I told him, smiling widely.
Nigel folded his arms over his chest and glared at me.
Hoagie was calming down now, too. He got up and sighed, still smiling. "My tummy hurts." Then he looked at Nigel. "Look, you had it coming. What you did was very unpleasant. So we decided to get you back for it. You really deserved it."
"Are you out of your mind?" Nigel shouted. "Nobody deserves a heart attack!"
"Well, that's what we thought, too," I told him, frowning. "This is exactly what you did to us."
His face changed. "Y-you're right…" He turned slightly red. "Sorry, guys. I just didn't know you'd be so cranky about it. Besides, we had to get up early. But it doesn't matter. You got me back for it, it's out of our lives now. Okay?"
"Okay!" Hoagie and I replied in unison.
We left the room to go back and get some more sleep before it's time to eat breakfast and get ourselves ready for another day.
Kuki's still sleeping. I've been sitting here and watching her for a few minutes. She's so peaceful, so beautiful. She's barely moving. Her side moves up and down when she's taking a new breath. I can hardly hear her breathe. She's so gorgeous that I'm starting to doubt that I even deserve her… But I don't want to give her up. She's mine! I've worked so hard to get where I am today. …well, actually not… I've done nothing at all. Just about… If I only dared to kiss her! Then I'd be doing something. I'd improve our relationship, and maybe we'd end up as girlfriend and boyfriend. I hope we do. There's a chance for it, right? I mean, if I dare to… kiss her. I really hope I do…