Chapter 4

Author's Note: Sorry, this is actually going to take five chapters, not four. This chapter is just an idea I had in the middle of writing last chapter, and it's not going to be as long as the others. But I promise it will not be longer than five chapters.

"I'm not going to enjoy this at all," remarked Glorfindel as he watched Elrond get ready. He, meanwhile, was lying nude on his back on Elrond's bed. "In fact, I'm going to enjoy it so little that I think I'm going to stay here and sleep." He rolled onto his side and pulled a blanket over him, pretending to sleep.

Elrond raised an eyebrow at Glorfindel's theatrics. "Honestly, Glorfindel. This is a major occasion. It will be noticed if you are not present. And I imagine that Erestor would be upset as well. And if neither of those convince you, I would like you to go, as a favor to me. Erestor is my dearest friend and I am glad to see that he is finally settling down." Elrond also thought that this would be a good opportunity to figure out who Erestor's lover had been. Elrond had conspicuously invited everyone who was on his list of suspects. With careful observation, he was sure that tonight all would be revealed. "Say, Glorfindel, have you ever seen Erestor around the barracks?"

Glorfindel frowned. "Why would I? Erestor hates warriors…no, he scorns them. I don't know why, he's quite good with a sword. So, no, I have never seen him around there. Why do you ask?" He had a fair idea of why Elrond was asking, but there was, in Elrond's mind, no way that he should know.

Elrond shook his head. Erestor had told him this, and he had sworn not to tell anyone. "I cannot tell you. I'm sorry, Glorfindel, I should not have asked you." He returned to getting dressed, hoping that Glorfindel would not press the matter. Fortunately, he did not. Nor did he get out of bed. Eventually, Elrond turned back to the bed and said, in his most lordly voice, "Glorfindel, you will get up now or you will face my wrath."

Glorfindel mumbled something unintelligible. Elrond suspected that it was not all that pleasant and figured that he was probably reasonably fortunate to not have heard it. Then, more audibly, he asked, "What will I get from going?"

"The knowledge that I will not beat you to a pulp. Now get out of bed and get dressed."

The look on Elrond's face told Glorfindel that he was serious. Sighing, he shoved the blanket away and stood up. More than anything, he didn't want to be present at this ceremony. It would break his heart more than anything in his life ever had. He didn't know how he'd be able to survive it.

When it looked like Glorfindel was actually going to get dressed, Elrond said, "I have to go check up on Erestor. When I return, you will be ready to go. Understand?"

Glorfindel nodded meekly.

Erestor sighed when he heard the knock on the door. He knew that it was Elrond. Elrond had treated him like a child since he had found out that Erestor had another lover and was planning to bond with Lothmir anyway. Not that Erestor was opposed to it, in fact, Elrond's almost continual presence helped in a large part to keep him sane. But it did have an overbearing feeling to it sometimes. "Come in," he said. Some part of him hoped that it was Glorfindel, but Glorfindel had been avoiding him ever since their last night together.

It was Elrond, as Erestor had expected. Elrond saw that Erestor was only half-dressed. In fact, it was barely that. Erestor was lying on his back on the bed, much as Glorfindel had been doing in Elrond's room. The only difference was that Erestor had a pair of leggings on. His robes were hanging by the door. Elrond inspected them; they looked perfect and would suit Erestor perfectly. "Are you getting dressed or are you going to go down to the ceremony like that?"

"Is that an option?" asked Erestor, completely serious. More than anything, he wanted to be able to take back his promise and his commitment with Lothmir. It was completely allowable, especially because Lothmir was of such lower status than him. No one would be able to fault Erestor. The problem with that, though, was that Erestor would end up falling headlong into a relationship with Glorfindel, and he didn't know how Elrond would be able to deal with that. Erestor simply couldn't hurt his soulmate like that. It was inconceivable; he would rather kill himself.

Elrond grinned, thinking about how alike in moods Glorfindel and Erestor were. For all his ages of wisdom, though, he failed to make the connection between them, perhaps because he didn't want to. "No, I am afraid that it is not. Now get up, mellon-nin."

With a groan, Erestor sat up and stared at Elrond. Frankly, he said, "I'm…I'm nervous, Elrond. I…I don't know if I'm doing the right thing…and once I've done this, I can never back down again…I can never go back."

Elrond knew what Erestor was talking about. "Then, mellon, I urge you to think harder about what you are about to do. If you wish to remain unbonded with Lothmir, I will not think the less of you for wishing to be with a male."

Erestor slammed his fist against the wall in uncharacteristic violence, "It's not that EASY, Elrond. I wish to the Valar that it was. But it isn't. You don't know what I'm going through…I cannot be with him, but I cannot live without him."

"Tell me who it is," said Elrond, softly, wrapping his arms around his friend. "I will help you to the best of my ability."

Erestor relaxed into the embrace. "No…I cannot. Please, Elrond, we've had this discussion before. I would rather just go down and do this."

Elrond sighed; he had no desire to get into an argument with his best friend over this. So he helped Erestor dress, but could not fail to notice the expression of intense misery on Erestor's face. "You will always have me to talk to, Erestor. We will work out any problem together, I swear. You have my unconditional friendship. And I have seen that you have become friends with Glorfindel, he is a kind and caring elf. He will help you, as much as you let him."

It's Glorfindel that's the whole problem. Erestor wanted to tell Elrond this, but knew better. "You don't know how much that means to me, Elrond."

Elrond pressed a chaste kiss on Erestor's cheek. "Come on. Lothmir will be awaiting your arrival." A short pause. "Now is the last time you can go back on this, Erestor. I know that you love Lothmir, because this relationship has stood the test of time. But you have to decide if you love her more than…your other lover."

"I wish to be bound to Lothmir," said Erestor in a steady voice. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Let's go and get this over with, then."

Elrond took Erestor's hand and led him out of the room and to the Great Hall, where all of Imladris was assembled. Elrond had to admit that it was a beautiful ceremony. Erestor and Lothmir made a wonderful couple and Elrond could see the devotion in Erestor's eyes when he talked to her, when he pressed light kisses onto the back of her hand, her cheek, her lips. It was hard to tear his eyes away from the couple, but he forced himself to. He had to find out the truth. So his gaze flickered back and forth from his list of suspects. None looked the slightest bit upset. And that frustrated Elrond beyond belief. Glorfindel, as Elrond had expected, showed up late. Later, Elrond would yell at him, but not here, not now.

Then the dancing began. Erestor and Lothmir led the first dance. After that dance, Lothmir danced with several other elves, while Erestor ate and watched. Eventually, Elrond wandered over to Erestor and asked him for a dance. Erestor grinned and said, "Who am I to deny my lord and best friend?" They were far from the only same-sex couple on the dance floor and no one paid them any attention.

Glorfindel was finding it very difficult to control himself. He wanted, more than anything, to walk over to Erestor, pull him out of Elrond's arms, and kiss him and tell him he would always love him. But those options were no longer open to him. Looking at Erestor and Elrond, talking happily, both wearing contented smiles, Glorfindel wanted to die. After the dance ended and Lothmir and Erestor were dancing together again, Glorfindel had an idea. He walked over to the musicians and made his request. Though a little puzzled, they obliged.

After that song ended, Erestor came back to Elrond, grinning like a madman. Gone were all the traces of indecision from before. Elrond placed a hand on Erestor's shoulder. "Feeling better now, mellon?"

Erestor nodded. "Yes. I don't regret it at all, now." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Glorfindel staring at him and swallowed hard. "Thank you, Elrond."

"For what?"

"For being there as much as you were. I don't think that I would've made it without you." He reached up to his shoulder and took Elrond's hand, squeezing it affectionately. "And though you can never tell Lothmir this, you have a special place in my heart that even she will not be able to replace."

Elrond chuckled. "I understand, Erestor."

Glorfindel worked up his courage, mentally laughed at himself for his cowardice, and approached Erestor and Elrond. "Erestor, may I have this dance?" he asked simply, extending his hand

Erestor looked up at him, meeting his sapphire eyes and reading the hurt in them. This was the least he could do for Glorfindel. He placed his hand in Glorfindel's and allowed Glorfindel to lead him out onto the floor.

Elrond watched them during this lively dance. They looked good together, Glorfindel's shining good looks providing a wonderful contrast to Erestor's subtler beauty. They were talking in low voices, and Elrond was desperate to know what they were discussing, even though he knew that it was none of his business.

Suddenly, in the middle of the dance, it changed, to a slow dance intended for lovers. Erestor happened to be facing Elrond and thus Elrond saw the momentary look of betrayal flash onto Erestor's face. Erestor said something sharply to Glorfindel, but Glorfindel shook his head. Elrond frowned, confused by all of this. Then, Glorfindel pulled Erestor close, wrapped his arms loosely around the shorter elf's waist. Erestor rested his head on Glorfindel's shoulder.

As soon as the dance ended, Erestor strode away from Glorfindel and out of the room. Glorfindel flashed a panicked look at Elrond, who immediately followed after Erestor, sensing that he had made a major discovery. Once he left the Great Hall, he could see no sign of Erestor. Sighing to himself, he closed his eyes and focused very hard on a mental picture of Erestor. He had always had this ability to find Erestor, no matter what. Erestor possessed a similar ability. It was useful only between the two of them; Erestor could sense no one else's presence with the clarity that he could Erestor's. So he managed to track Erestor easily, and found him sitting in a hallway, sobbing quietly.

Elrond swallowed hard and sat next to Erestor. "So it was Glorfindel," he said quietly. He wasn't quite angry, but he was certainly surprised. "How long?" Then he made the connection; suddenly he realized the only thing that could have brought about that long period of silence between the two of them. "During the war…"

Erestor looked up at him, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Our first time…it was the night after we believed you dead…"

"Ever since then?" asked Elrond, his voice breaking a little. He had known that he and Glorfindel were not in love, but it hurt a little to see that Glorfindel had found love in the arms of his best friend.

Erestor shook his head. "No…nothing happened…until Celebrian left…then it became regular…once a month or so…I tried to end it…I didn't want to hurt you…I didn't want to hurt Lothmir…or Glorfindel…I've just made everything worse…I understand if you cannot forgive me, Elrond…what I have done should never be forgiven."

Elrond shook his head. "No, mellon-nin. I am upset, but not because you have been sleeping with Glorfindel. I never loved him, if you had told me, I would have gladly surrendered him to you. I want you to be happy…it is clear that the two of you have a more loving relationship than anything that exists between Glorfindel and myself…why did you not tell me?"

"Because I was already involved with Lothmir…I could publicly love only one elf…and I didn't want to take Glorfindel from you…especially right after Celebrian left…you had no one but him to turn to for comfort…"

"And do you believe I could have found no one else?" Elrond took Erestor in his arms. "What is done now cannot be undone. You are bonded to Lothmir for all eternity." He kissed Erestor on the forehead. "I am sorry that this had to end like this."

Erestor surrendered to the comfort he found in Elrond's arms. Eventually, his sobbing lessened. "We should get back to the Great Hall…everyone will wonder where we are."

"Erestor?" asked a voice from the end of the hallway, nearly as broken as Erestor's. Elrond looked up and saw Glorfindel. "I have been looking for you everywhere." He approached, and Elrond rose to his feet. In a completely non-judgmental, steady voice, Elrond said, "It is your job to comfort him, not mine. I will leave the two of you alone. Please return to the Great Hall soon."

Glorfindel glanced at Erestor. "You told him?"

"It was not difficult to guess, based on what I already knew," said Elrond.

"Don't go," said Erestor quietly. "Please don't leave me, Elrond."

Elrond was torn. He wanted so much to stay and comfort Erestor, but he knew now that that duty belonged to Glorfindel, had belonged to Glorfindel for apparently some time. He had no right to take that away from Glorfindel. Not when this was likely to be the last time that Glorfindel stood a chance of catching a moment alone with Erestor. If Elrond knew his best friend at all, after tonight, he would make a concerted effort to never be alone with Glorfindel. "Why?" he asked softly, taking a few steps back towards Erestor.

"This involves all three of us," said Glorfindel. "We all care about each other…we have to work this out together."

Erestor chuckled bitterly. "What is there to work out? I am bonded, leaving you, meleth, free with Elrond."

Glorfindel's heart soared, hearing that endearment, but he knew that it was likely the only time that he would ever hear it. "We still need to talk about this. I can see the hurt on your face, Elrond, your feelings are completely transparent to me. Come here." He sat next to Erestor and patted the ground in front of him.

They sat in a triangle. Silence reigned for a few moments, until Erestor said, "This is pointless."

Glorfindel closed his eyes. Elrond reached over and took his hand. In a soft voice, Elrond said, "I wish there was a way we could take all of this back. But there is none."

In a hollow voice, Glorfindel said, "That's not entirely true. We could kill Lothmir."

"I will not be a part of any kinslaying," said Elrond. "And I hardly feel that that would be the best way into Erestor's heart." Now he focused on Erestor. "Lothmir will be able to tell that she does not fully have your heart, Erestor. She will know that you love her, for it is clear to me that you do. But she will know that you love another."

"What do you propose then, Elrond? I cannot be with Glorfindel. I cannot do that to you now that you know."

"Unless I miss my guess completely, you love Glorfindel. Am I correct?"

Erestor could not meet Elrond's eyes as he said, "Of course I do."

"And I care deeply for Glorfindel." Elrond turned back on Glorfindel. "Do you love Erestor?"

Glorfindel sighed. "Yes."

"Do you care about me?"

"That's a stupid question. Would I have kept coming to your bed all these centuries if I did not?"

"Yes or no, Glorfindel?"

"Yes," said Glorfindel impatiently. "Now can you tell me what this has to do with anything?"

Elrond pulled out a small dagger seemingly from nowhere. Biting his lip, he cut a thin line down each palm. Wordlessly, he passed the dagger to Erestor, who duplicated the motion with a frown. Finally, Glorfindel took the dagger and did the same. "We will be blood bound," said Elrond. "The three of us will be bound for all eternity, much the same way that you are bonded with Lothmir, Erestor."

Erestor frowned. "This cannot be…does the…will the Valar allow us to do this?"

Elrond nodded. "I think so. Your bond with Lothmir…you are bound in mind and flesh only. This bond will bond our fëa. There is no way that Lothmir will not know of its existence…but I think that she will grow to accept it." He extended his hands. Glorfindel readily took one, but Erestor remained hesitant.

"I don't know, Elrond…I don't know if I could step through the bond of our friendship to one of love…it would be difficult."

"Truth be told, Erestor, I have desired you for at least a century." Elrond smiled sheepishly. "Even with this bond, though, there will be no need for physical intimacy. Our relationship need not change in the slightest."

"We will make Lothmir understand, Erestor. You will still be bound to her…it is not like you are forsaking her…" said Glorfindel.

"And if she doesn't understand?" demanded Erestor. "Then what will I do? What will I have then?"

"You will have two lovers to comfort you," said Glorfindel softly. "Neither of us are going anywhere."

Erestor nodded shakily and took their hands. He felt a powerful surge pass through him. He looked up at both elves, managed a small smile and said, "Bound to three elves in a single day. Never thought that would happen."

Elrond smiled as well and rose to his feet. "Let us go to the healing house first for bandages, then we must return to the celebration." He kissed Glorfindel lightly on the lips and then kissed Erestor on the cheek. Elrond knew that physical intimacy between them would be difficult, as it was new, but Elrond was sure they would figure something out. They always did.

Author's Note: yes, i took some liberties with the whole bonding thing. It wasnt going to turn out like this, but i couldnt leave Glorfindel so upset.