Disclaimer: I still own nothing.
A/N: Well, that sure took some time… But here it is! What will happen with Wally now? Will he run away? Will he freak out? Will he kill Jay and Jade? Find out in the new and exciting chapter of… Cruddy Diary!
…
Cruddy Diary!
Chapter 8
July 18th
I am so incredibly BORED! We haven't done crud all day, only taken care of the animals, and that is so boring sometimes! I wanna go home soon. I miss being able to just sit around the Treehouse, watching cartoons and playing videogames with the guys. Besides, I really miss the guys. I'd do anything to go back home right now..! I'd even watch that cruddy Rainbow Monkey movie with Numbuh 3!
Since I was so bored earlier, I ended up counting how many orange jellybeans there were in my bag of candy. It was 38. I've eaten two, so that makes 73. I think… And I just ate another one. Man, I'm bored!
I could just go for a walk… again! I'm so tired of walks now! And I've been out playing with Dennis and helping out with the animals all day.
A list over possible things to do (when I'm about to die from boredom!):
1. Watch TV (I do that at home all the time!)
2. Play a videogame with Jay (you've got to be kidding me)
3. Eat candy until I throw up (then some stuff would happen!)
4. Go for another walk (Boooooring!)
5. Call the guys (hmmm...)
6. Bug Joey (and hope he won't throw up on me…)
7. Write a letter or a card to the guys (hmmm again…)
8. Bang my head in the wall (great idea… Yeah, or not!)
9. Go outside and see how far I can spit (sounds amusing)
10. Make a slingshot and shoot pebbles at the shed (yes, that should keep me entertained for the next… 5 minutes!)
11. Play cards with Dad (yay, the funniest thing in the world… or not!)
12. Make another drawing (what? All I can draw is Kuki..! I'll get busted again)
13. Figure out how to secure this diary (sounds like a good idea… but boring!)
There… I ran out of ideas. I think it took me about half an hour to write down all of this, and in the meantime, I made a paper airplane and threw it around down here in my room. Not that it was a lot of fun or anything… But it's amusing enough when you don't have anything else to do. Weeee, look at it go!
I wonder how many times I've thought about Kuki only today! And this is after lunch! Scary… Well, I do have a crush on her… Man, I'm about to pick my 8th suggestion now! Banging my head in the wall seems like a good idea! Or why don't I just call the guys and tell them about my how bored I am? It's not like I've got something better to do. And I miss talking to them all. Especially Kuki. I promised I'd call again soon.
Right, so I'll be going now.
…
4:35 p.m.
Oh, I almost forgot that I was supposed to write this down! Okay, so I called the others, and those dweebs were on a mission at first. So I called back later. Numbuh 2 answered.
"Yeah, hello?"
"Numbuh 2! What's up?" I exclaimed, happy to hear his voice.
"Numbuh 4, dude! Hey, nothing much happening here," he replied. "But we just came back from a mission. What's up over there?"
"Well, I'm bored…" I muttered. "And what was the mission about?"
"These evil teachers were planning to cut all recesses shorter for the coming school year," he told me. "So we just gave them a piece of our mind." He giggled.
"Aww, man, I wish I was there with you all," I whined.
"Yep, so do I," he said. "Hey, want me to put you on speaker so you can talk to the others as well? Numbuh 3's here." He made a growling sound.
"Dude, shut up!" I snapped. "But yeah, put me on speaker."
He did. "Everybody, come on in here! Numbuh 4's on the phone!"
"Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 3's voice chimed. "Yay!"
"Hey, Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 5 said in unison.
"What have you been doing today?" Numbuh 3 asked.
"Nothing," I replied. "That's why I decided to call. I was so bored I didn't know what to do! I could have gone to drown myself in the stream, though."
Numbuh 2 giggled. "I really hope you haven't been falling into it again."
"Oddly enough, no," I said. "But then again, I haven't been out there after that. Thought I'd just whine about the kids that live here. Now that I know them a little, they are truly a pain in the butt! They keep bugging me, and I really don't know why. I've been behaving nice enough. But no, that little girly girl had to go and call me Crocodile Dundee, and she was messing around in my stuff last night. Brat! And that boy keeps bugging me about my height! He was surprised to hear that I was in the Kids Next Door! I wanna strangle them both!"
Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 5 started to laugh.
"Wow," Numbuh 1 said with a voice that told me he was obviously smiling. "It's that bad, huh?"
"You guys think it's funny, don't you?" I growled. "You think it's funny that I'm being tortured!"
"No, we don't," Numbuh 3 said with a serious voice.
"Well, I'm sorry, Numbuh 4," Numbuh 1 said. "But it is a little funny." He snickered.
"Fine!" I shouted and slammed my fist in the wall. "I shouldn't have told you about my problems, then!"
"Calm down, man!" Numbuh 5 said. "It is a little funny, but we're on your side, remember? Those kids are truly two brats!"
"Thank you!" I said.
"You know, we could just come down there and pick you up," Numbuh 2 said. "It'll be a lot faster than driving back, anyway."
"No, that's alright…" I muttered. "I'll only get in trouble. Mom would kill me if I left now."
"Suit yourself," he replied.
"We'll be back home soon enough anyways," I said. "So in the meantime, I'll just go bang my head in the wall. I've heard that every time you bang your head, you lose some brain cells. So if I slam my head in the wall like, a gazillion times, I will be completely brain-dead! Then I won't be so bored!"
"You can't lose your brain cells, Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 5 exclaimed. "You never had any!"
The others were probably rolling on the floor laughing. I couldn't see them, but that was my guess…
"Hey!" I shouted over their laughter. "I've got brain cells! I'm not brain-dead!"
The others were still laughing.
How cruel! I was stuck in this boring place with those two brats bugging my brains out, and my friends, laughing at me because of my problems and making jokes about me having no brain!
I muttered some curse words while holding the phone away from my face. Then I put it back to my ear and growled. "I think I'll go do something else now…" I said with a low, irritated voice. "You all have fun."
"Wait, Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 3 called. She grabbed the phone and put me off speaker again. "Can't you come home soon?"
I lowered my eyes. "I would if I could… Really! But, uhm… my parents like it here, and I'm not sure when we're leaving. I don't even know if we're going straight home after this. But I'll start nagging. Maybe Mom and Dad will get so tired of it that they want to go."
"Yay," she said happily.
A funny thought brightened my face up. "You really want me home that badly?"
"Well, you know…" she replied.
Yeah, I did… But I wanted to hear her say it!
"Know what?" I asked, smirking.
"Like I told you a few days ago, I miss having you here," she said and giggled carefully.
I wish I was there with her when she said that. Maybe she would have hugged me! I wonder why I never hug her back… Err, no I don't! I'd blush like crud! Erm, I barely dare to think what would happen if I kissed her… So I did kiss her on the cheek once, but that's different.
I read through some of the stuff I wrote about a week ago. Or is it two weeks? Anyways, I wrote that I wasn't sure if I deserved her… So… do I deserve a kiss from Kuki in the first place? Argh, it doesn't matter! I will never give up on her! NEVER!
Oh, yeah, the rest of the conversation..! Err, here:
Me: "Well, I'm… glad to hear that…"
Kuki: "I'm glad you're glad! And you know what? I've been thinking about stuff we can do when you get home! I think we should definitely go out for ice cream again soon. And then I think we should go to the beach! And then we should go to the movies. And then we should go to the carnival. And then… hmm… we could play Rainbow Monkey Dress-up!"
Me: "Have you written this down or something..?"
Kuki: "Nope, I came up with it over the last few days! The last one I just figured out now. But we could play a tea party as well! Remember we did that? That was so much fun!"
Me: "Err, yeah… Uhm, I'll just go… err, find something to do. You take care, now."
Kuki: "Wait! Don't hang up yet! You just called! Don't you wanna talk some more?"
Me: "Well… Not as long as we're talking about Rainbow Dorkies!"
Kuki: "Okay, so let's talk about something else, then. Hmm, how about this? Have you had any weird dreams lately?"
Kuki can be so way off some times..! She has some serious issues. But whatever… I still like her.
Me: "Not that I can remember, no. But I probably had."
Kuki: "Well, I dreamt that I was in this big scary house last night. And that ugly thing from that movie we saw was there. It was a terrible nightmare!"
Me: "I thought it didn't bother you anymore. I'm really sorry for making you watch that move with us… I shouldn't have."
Kuki: "But I wanted to watch it! Even though it was scary."
We talked for a while. Nothing important. I just told her more about Jay and Jade. She told me she would have come over to yell at them if she could. She's great.
…
July 19th
Hah! I'm so evil! I was playing with Jay earlier, and then I decided that it was time I got him back for all the times he ripped on me. So we were up in his room. He showed me some of his newest toys.
"This is such a sweet car!" he exclaimed and examined his new RC car. "I've wanted to ride it outside. Wanna try it?"
"Yeah, sure!" I replied and smiled.
"Hah, psyche!" he shouted. "This is my newest one! I wouldn't let you try it even if this was your last day on this planet!"
I growled at him. "Fine, I'll go do something else, then!"
"No, why don't you join me for a little while?" he asked. "I want you to be there when I try it outside the first time."
"Why? So I'll be jealous?" I snickered. "Sorry, but that won't work on me, man. I can get that car myself if I really want it. But I'd rather have the new Dragon Ball Z game now. That's on the top of my want-list."
"Nope, that's not it," he replied. "I just need to brag about it to someone." He chuckled.
I wanted to punch it so bad!
He suddenly placed the car on his bed and bent down to look for the controller for it in his toy box. Then I walked over and picked up the car to have a look at it. It was really cool. Too cool to be owned by a cruddy moron like Jay! So I got an idea…
"Hey, Jay," I said. "Do you mind if I defenestrate this car?"
"What?" He turned around and looked at me with a frown. "Man you're weird!"
"Well, can I?" I asked.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," he replied and waved me off. "As long as you don't ride it. I'll be riding it as soon as I find that controller."
"Okay." I moved over to the window, opened it – and threw the car out. You can imagine the sound of an RC car hitting the ground from the second floor of a big house, can't you? Hahah! CRASH!
Jay got up. "What the heck did you just do?" he shouted and ran over to me. He leaned out and looked at what was left of his beloved RC car down on the ground. "Are you insane? That was a really expensive car, you idiot!"
"I asked you if I could do it," I replied calmly.
"What?" he cried and looked at me, his eyes burning. "No, you didn't!"
"Yeah, I asked if I could defenestrate it."
"What the heck does defene-blahblah mean?" he shouted.
"It means to throw something out of a window," I answered. "I asked, and you said it was okay."
"I did not!" he cried.
"Yeah, you did." And with that I left his room.
Am I evil, or am I evil? When mom and Dad asked me about it, I told them it was an accident. Yep, Jay told on me, that little brat! He deserved it, though. He seriously had it coming. I think we'll hate each other for, like, forever! But I'm okay with that. I'll never come back here again anyway.
…
8:15 PM
Wow, I'm in the zone today. When Jade started to bug me because of what I did to Jay's RC car, I got very angry… And she bugged me about something else as well. We were watching TV with Jay, but he was in the bathroom at that time.
"Why did you do it, anyway?" she asked me and poked my arm. "Do you get some kind of weird kick out of destroying other people's toys?"
"Do you get some kind of weird kick out of asking me all these questions?" I snapped.
"Not exactly, but I like to ask, because I like to get answers," she replied. "So, why did you do it? Do you really hate him that much?"
"I hate you more!" I growled.
"What? Is it because I found your diary?" she asked. "You know what? You need a lock on it or something. Of course I was going to read in it after I found it here the other day! And that drawing was really cute."
"You did what?" I shouted and stared at her.
"I read some of the stuff you'd written about this Kuki girl," she replied. "She seems really cute. Why haven't you kissed her yet?"
I was dumbfounded. I couldn't believe she had read more of it!
"And that Aaron guy, what a creep," she continued. "You sure showed him." She giggled. "You have some strange habits, Wally. I read some of the first stuff you wrote, too. Did you really try that thing with the microwave? Hello! Even my brother knows that'll end with disaster! Anyways, I think you should do something with Kuki when you get home. Kiss her or something. She's probably waiting for you to do it. But if she's not, I really hope she won't throw up on you or something. Because if I was her, I know I would have."
"SHUT UP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Then I grabbed a hold of the collar of her shirt and pulled her up in my face. "You better shut that hole in your face before I shut it for you! My diary is my diary, and that means it's private! Stay out of my life, you cruddy girl!" Then I pushed her back so hard that she almost fell out of the couch.
She stared at me with a frightened look on her face. Then she got up and left the room with tears in her eyes.
She deserved that! Now they've both tried my patience, and they've both gotten what they deserved. I really don't give a crud if they're talking about me behind my back. I'll be talking enough crud about them when I get home anyway.
I bet she told on me, but Mr. and Mrs. Peterson are very nice to me. They don't yell at me or anything like that. That would be Mom's job. But she hasn't said anything about it yet. She might want to talk about it tomorrow, though. I'll tell her my side of the story. I'm her kid, she should listen to me!