(stares blankly at computer screen for five minutes, jaw lowered to the floor)

(finally manages to pick up jowl and speak) Holy crap. I must be seeing things! How the heck did I manage to get 208 reviews? It's not humanly possible, I tell you! Well, it shouldn't be for me, anyway.

But like I care! I'm ecstatic! And I have but one thing to say: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! You're reviews have certainly cheered me up after three very stressful weeks, most of which being spent without Internet access!

And so you all may know, there… drum roll please (drums start up from nowhere) (curious look, then shrug)… will be a sequel to Suicide! That means: More work for me! But it's fun work, so I don't mind. And to the people who didn't want a sequel, my sincerest apologies. Unlike my stepfather, who practices dictatorship, I prefer democracy in these matters, so I chose to go with what the people wanted. But I still hope that won't stop you from reading. I'll do my best to make it good.

Oh, and sorry guys. No more shout-outs. I just finally checked my e-mail and discovered I could be suspended for doing so! So, I've gone back and deleted every last one of them in this whole story, as well as the others.

Well, I know how long you guys have been waiting on me. Not fair, I must say. But I was grounded; not much I could do about that. Anyways, I got this chapter to you guys as fast as I could, so enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't yet own the TMNT, but I will someday. First our beloved turtles, and then the world! (blinks) Whoa. I think I've had a little too much sugar today. Excuse me.

&&&&&

Even though he refused to participate this time, as he'd done the time before, it still went on without him; the events were the same as they'd always been. They could never change. The outcome would always be the same.

Eyes shut tight, Leo sat on the catwalk, holding his legs tucked up to his plastron. He pulled his chin down to his chest and began to rock himself back and forth.

Leo knew he surely looked childish, but he didn't really care. After all, he was a child at the moment. He was scared and he was boiling on the inside with anger. If Leo wanted to feel the negative emotions he'd neglected recklessly since that day, there was a price to be paid.

It was a strange concept: wanting to feel those dark emotions. It wasn't like they'd been completely suppressed; he had experienced them when he was older. There was no possible way he could've avoided them, after all.

But this was so much stronger. He was feeling the full power of these sentiments now. And by doing so, Leo put to use the one thing he'd learned from Logan that had been of some benefit, even if it had ultimately led to his downfall, and this place, in the end.

By distracting himself with the pain his anger and other dark emotions brought him, he didn't have to feel the pain this memory brought, the one he could see vividly even with his eyes closed, as they were now.

"You have to talk to me sometime, you know." Logan's voice came to him softly, but echoing violently in the darkness.

Leo looked up suddenly. As much as he wanted to express the anger he felt, he wanted to be his normal age more. The blue-banded turtle had been small when he met Logan. But he was fifteen now.

This was a place where, even though it belonged to him, Logan held all the power, power over him. The one thing Leo could control, and only occasionally at that, was his age.

He'd only been six when Logan died before his eyes. Things were so much more big and frightening at that age. That was one power Leo refused to give him again.

Logan cocked his head, looked him over. "Do you honestly think you can stay here forever without uttering another word?"

No. Leo adverted his gaze. "What's the point. There's nothing to say. If there was, you would've heard it by now." He gestured tot he nothingness, his mind.

With a small laugh, the other boy leaned back a little, as if he were sitting in a recliner. He almost looked like he was levitating. "Wrong place, my friend."

"I'm not your friend."

"Really?" Logan sat up a little. "But you seem so fond of me." He said sarcastically.

When there was nothing but silence, Logan continued. "Well, if you refuse to talk to me, I guess we'll just have another go at it, eh?"

Before Leo could've said anything, the blackness faded into the scene on the catwalk. Like he had all the other times Leo refused to 'talk', Logan had sent him back to the memory.

Defeated once more, the blue-banded turtle slid uncomfortably down the railing and folded his legs closer to the rest of his body once more.

&&&&&

Three days after Leo went catatonic, Donny put an IV in his arm. Raph wasn't quite sure where he'd got it from, along with all the other interesting medical supplies, and electronics, his brother possessed.

Although sometimes they wondered, he didn't think anybody really wanted to know. They all knew Don well enough to trust he hadn't killed anyone for it, nor found the items in a toxic waste dump.

Don hadn't been able to put an IV in as quick as he would've hoped, though. It would've been a lot sooner, but he had to go find some first, since they didn't really have them on hand. A day before he'd found it, he'd been wondering if he should put it in or not, though Raph thought he'd already decided to, and was just voicing the idea so they'd know. But if he wasn't, Leo sure made it clear that it would be necessary.

All three of them had been in the same room at that moment; Mikey taking his watch by Leo's bedside and Raph and Donny talking in the doorway. Although his attention seemed to be on his red-clad brother, Don must've been keeping an eye on Leo as well through his peripheral vision because he'd suddenly snapped his head in that direction, telling Mike to turn Leo on his side as he searched through the room, finally picking up a small wastebasket.

Barely a second had gone by before Leo gagged; throwing up what little had been left in his system. That's how Donny knew they needed to get an IV into him. Apparently, Leo had been a lot sicker than they'd thought. Mikey and Raph had taken Don's shifts while he searched for one. Leo was unconscious pretty much the whole time.

From then on out, they decided to keep Leo on his side most of the time, occasionally shifting him back on his back so he wasn't in the same position for too long. The danger of him suffocating in his own vomit while no one else was around was just too high.

But now, four days later, a week in all, he was doing much better. The infection was healing nicely; and he hadn't thrown up again since yesterday morning. His fever had even come down, if only a little bit.

Physically, he was well down the path to recovery. But Raph knew that wouldn't be so easy for Leo in the mental department. For one, he was still catatonic, and there'd still be a lot for him to get over. if he ever came out of it.

Raph desperately hoped he would. He had a lot to talk about with his brother; a lot of apologizing and explaining to do.

&&&&&

In the short moment he had after coming out of the memory; the brief seconds before Logan would surely appear, Leo wondered how long he'd been inside his mind. Time was immeasurable here. For all he knew, his physical body had aged ten years. Perhaps this eternity would only turn out to be no more than three seconds.

Logan came out of nowhere from behind him, not really surprising him. Leo was a ninja, after all. Even though he couldn't see him, he knew he was there. The boy sighed. "By doin' this, please try and understand it's not meant as a… I don't know, a punishment." He paused. "I'm not here to hurt you, I'm here to help."

"That's an interesting method." Leo turned to face him. "If you're here to help, then tell me why I have to watch you- him, die over and over again. What's that for? How does that count as help?"

"You always were one for symbolism, Leo." Logan said. For once, he looked dead serious. "Maybe if you if you watched instead of curling up into a ball like a coward, you'd notice what each part of that memory meant to you."

A coward. The turtle had been feeling that word clawing its way into of him for some time now. As he thought about it, he realized it wasn't surprising Logan had known that. He probably monitored him at all times.

But there was no more time to ponder such thoughts. Darkness, in the body of Logan, was continuing.

"In your mind, everything means something to you. An easy example is me, as you were just thinking. I'm the darkness. There's others. Let's see… you consider the rain a form of cleansing; forgiveness. That's why you like it so much. Your swords are your strength. I could go on."

Leo blinked. Logan was telling him things he'd never given much thought to, but had before. He was right.

As many times as he would tell himself otherwise, he knew Logan was always right.

The boy continued, "Your own brothers even symbolize sometime to you. Michaelangelo, ironically enough, is your sanity. You've entrusted Donatello with your peace of mind. And Raphael is your motivation." He stepped forward, closer to him. "So what're you, Leonardo? What did that day turn you into?"

Leo was still dwelling on his brothers, who were quickly slipping from his grasp. He held on to them still, beginning to believe that they'd be his way out of this. He was the one who needed them.

That thought saddened him. "Someone who isn't needed anymore." He whispered, hoping that'd bring the conversation to a close.

Logan shook his head. "Wrong. I told you before, you're speaking to me from the wrong place."

Trying his best not to become a little kid, Leo snapped his head up, glaring at him. His attempts were useless. "What do you want from me?" he practically shouted. Trying to get away from him, Leo sat down.

"You need help." Logan whispered. "Your brothers tried, but you avoided them."

"I-" he sniffed, "I did try…"

Logan sat down beside him. "Yes, but only for them. You didn't take their help. So now, you must take mine. You have to learn things the hard way."

Tracing invisible swirls in the darkness with his eyes, Leo frowned. "Honestly, I don't think Darkness is a very good teacher."

"Ah, I'm afraid it's a cruel master."

Able to resume a calm conversation, the blue-banded turtle turned back into his fifteen-year-old self. "Shouldn't there be some light in me?"

"Oh, there is."

"Then why aren't I there?" Don't you think that'd be a better place to heal?"

With a shrug, Logan stood up. "Perhaps, but I don't really think so. At least, not in your case."

"Why not?" Leo asked, also standing up.

"You're not allowed to go there." He didn't need to hear the question repeated, for a different reason, to know to explain. "You wouldn't learn anything there. Right now, there's too much pain, anger, even hatred inside you. You gotta square with that first."

Leo shook his head. "I can't do that."

"'Cause it hurts, huh?"

After a moment, he nodded. "I'll just ignore it." He thought about it. "I've gotten pretty good at doing that." He said softly.

Logan shook his head. "That's not an option this time. Even if you wanted to, you can't. Your brothers know now, and they aren't gonna let you."

All of a sudden, the need to be with his brothers intensified. They were the way out. Logan had mentioned his brothers before, but Leo hadn't- much more, couldn't be with or even think about them for very long.

In an instant he slipped into the big-brother role. "I need to get out of here."

The boy shook his head once more. "You haven't even started to help yourself."

Leo stepped forward. "Logan, I have to be with them. You know what they mean to me. I need to go… now!"

"A mind is a very twisted place for people like us. Are you sure you even know what you need?"

Ignoring him, Leo began to pace. Logan shook his head sadly, mumbling to himself. "We're so good at playing pretend…"

Quickly walking back and forth between invisible walls, Leo didn't hear him. Finally, he growled. "What do I do?" He moaned, swinging a right hook at the emptiness.

To his surprise, a small line of white appeared there, like a rip in a piece of fabric. It was a dim white, but even a dark gray would stand out here.

As it had opened, Leo heard faint voices. My brothers. He inched closer, but he couldn't really understand them. But he knew, this was the way out.

He turned; faced Logan. "Why didn't you tell me I could get out?"

"You never asked." In a nano-second, he was by his side, lookin into the rip. "And you're not ready to go back there."

Looking away from him, he tried to make out the words he was hearing, smiling when he recognized each voice. It had disappeared by the time he turned back to Logan. "I need them a hell lot more then I need you."

He was about to open the crack a little more when Logan's hand rested on his shoulder. "If you do this, you'll just be setting yourself up for more pain." He nodded towards the voices. "Them too. Things might be good for a little while, but war wounds like this just get worse over time if you don't treat them."

Logan's grip tightened. "You will hurt again. You will feel empty again. And for all you know, next time might be worse."

Leo's breath quickened. Thoughts of hatred and remorse for Logan filled him, along with painful and neglected childhood memories.

But he had to get out of here. As long as he was with his brothers, there was a purpose for life. Even if they didn't need him anymore.

Behind him, he heard a sigh and Logan removed his hand. "I know what you're doing. I'm not saying you can't go…" His hand moved to the center of his shell; "Just now I'm not done with you yet."

Before he could say a word, Leo was going through the white tear in the darkness.

He couldn't tell whether or not he'd been pushed or pulled in.

&&&&&

Reluctantly, Raphael gave up his seat by Leo's bedside to Mikey, but not going very far, not even to the doorway. Mikey flashed him a smile and sat down, his fingers rolling a small stone in his right palm. It was an odd little rock; black with little spots of white. Don had said it was snowflake obsidian.

It was one of the things Splinter had left for him when he died.

It had taken practically a month to work up the courage to clean out the old rat's room. When they finally did, they found he'd left a few items for each of them. No one even touched them. Another month had passed before any of them did. Mikey was first, Raph a week later; whilst in one of his tempers, and Donny almost three weeks after that.

Leo had been there for all three of them when they did; when the tears had finally flown. Raph was the only one who hadn't, but Leo had been there nevertheless, in case he did. Thinking about it some more, Raph wondered if his elder brother had ever even taken his items from Splinter's room. He wasn't sure, since he hadn't been in there since that one day.

Donny entered the room, walking over to Leo to check on his IV. He'd been doing some research on catatonia lately, wondering if those short moments not so long ago when Leo seemed to blank out the present reality were early bits of it. Raph had a feeling they were.

Often, the red-clad turtle thought about Logan Ackers. Donny had told him several days ago, right after his chat with Mikey and about an hour before they realized they needed to get an IV into Leo.

Much as it grieved him, he could see the comparison between him and his brother.

There were many similarities in their attitudes; their selflessness (most of the time); loneliness; each thorough in their plans and tuned in to the needs and desires of their brothers, just to name a few.

And there were even things of mere coincidence. Both were the eldest of their siblings, all of which being brothers. Heck, even their names were similar. To many people, the names 'Leo' and 'Logan' often brought up thoughts of courage and bravery.

There was another thing, too. Logan had killed himself at the age of fourteen. That was only a year's difference to when Leo had attempted to do so as well.

But that wasn't the scariest part. Logan had said-

Raph's thoughts were interrupted by his youngest brother. Mike and Don, who had finished checking Leo's IV, had been talking, Raph brooding in a corner, when the orange-banded turtle suddenly blurted out, "Hey, was Leo on his back when I came in here?"

Snapping his head up, Raph checked on his brother. Sure enough, the turtle was now lying on his shell.

He came closer, by the rest of them now. "No- I turned him on his side durin' my watch; 'bout an hour ago."

Both of their eyes were on him as he spoke, lingering still a few moments after. Donny was the first to look at Leo, making sure it wasn't an accident. No one wanted to get their hopes up only to see them crashed to bits. But a minute later, Leo's left leg shifted slightly, though Mikey was the only one to catch it.

An eternity of silence seemed to pass as they waited for any other body movements. And it was while doing so that a voice, faint and a bit dry from the past several days not used, spoke.

"I think my leg's asleep." They all recognized the voice; raising their heads abruptly anyways to make sure it was him.

And it was. Leo was awake. He smiled widely as he saw them.

&&&&&

Once the cheers and kind words were said and done, things got quiet. Mikey didn't like quiet, it made him nervous. Unconsciously, he fingered his worry stone.

Looking up, he caught Leo's gaze before it quickly adverted to the tube in his arm. "So, have I been out long?"

"Try a week, bro." Raph answered quietly.

Oddly enough, he looked relieved. Leo tilted his head up to view the ceiling, whispering to himself. "I thought it'd been longer."

His three brothers exchanged worried glances. They knew what had happened with Leo's body for the seven days he'd been out. And that's all it had been; seven days. One week.

Mikey's hand closed around his stone. He wondered exactly were the rest of Leo had been during that time. Apparently, it'd been out of the loop longer than his body.

Leo must've been growing aware of the uneasy atmosphere that was settling around him because he attempted to sit up, wincing as he put too much pressure on his still-healing arm. He immediately fell a ways back as well, dizzy from having risen so fast.

By that time, Donny was beside him, stepping into his medic role. "Relax, Leo. Lay back down." He put a hand on his left shoulder, gently easing him back down. Leo was looking at his other arm now, seeing bandages on it for the third time in less than a month. "It got infected. You're still pretty sick; you need to rest."

He didn't argue. Watching him, Mike saw that he actually looked quite exhausted. But he obviously didn't want to rest yet.

He looked up at Raph. "Did you tell them about…?"

Their temperamental brother nodded. "Don't worry about it. They know. But Donny's right, just relax, bro."

The blue-clad turtle didn't say anything, just laid his head on the bed. But he didn't rest, just fidgeted around a little. He was trying to stay awake.

Raph tapped his foot to get his attention. "What're ya afraid of?"

Afraid? Mikey looked at his brother, noticing something Raph had obviously seen earlier. He did look scared.

Leo shook his head. "Nothing."

A previous thought entered his mind again. Mikey waited until Leo looked at him, having felt someone's eyes on him, before speaking. "Are you afraid of…" he thought out loud, "going back?"

He knew he'd hit something when he saw his big brother's eyes widen slightly. Maybe he hadn't been too far from the truth by thinking Leo had gone someplace else while being catatonic.

The said brother just stared for a while. Then he nodded.

"Don't worry about it. Think about something else, 'kay?"

Leo looked down, contemplating it. He was getting drowsier by the second, but fighting it. "Are you guys going anywhere?"

"Nope." Mikey smiled. "We'll be right here." If anyone's going anywhere, it'll be you. He thought sadly.

It still took a few moments, but either he accepted it or was overpowered by the steady stream of drugs flowing into him, because he nodded and closed his eyes, drifting off.

Leaning back in his seat, Mikey rubbed the snowflake obsidian stone some more. He raised his head towards his other two brothers.

Raph continued to watch Leo. "Think he'll go catatonic again?"

Donny looked down to the floor. "Yes." He paused. "But I don't think it'll be too soon."

Smiling, Mikey pulled a blanket over his sleeping brother. "If you ask me, I think Leo's staying. And if he goes anywhere, he won't be for too long."

For the next few minutes, Raph just stood around, watching Leo as he slept. Then he grinned; headed towards the door. "Me too."

&&&&&

Thirteen chapters gone, one to go! Don't worry, the wait won't be nearly as long. I've already started on the final chapter! It'll be up in about a week, not even two. I'm so excited!

In the mean time, I'd like to wish the victims of Hurricane Katrina well. Have any of my dear friends and readers been effected by its fury? If so, my thoughts are with you and I'd like to dedicate this chapter to you and your loved ones. I don't think I actually know anyone who lives down there, but I'm worried sick that I do. I hope everyone will be okay!

But anyways, if anything was wrong with this chapter as well, please for give me. I do my best.

Please review!