4

Chapter Five

Warnings: Threesome (and if you can't guess who, you should just stop reading right now)

Author's Note: And because I'm not in the mood to write the entire chapter, there will be more than 5. Surprise surprise. :)

It was the strangest sensation, and Erestor was unable to get rid of it. He was certain that Elrond and Glorfindel felt exactly the same way, but that wasn't the point. He was always painfully aware of every time Elrond and Glorfindel made love, just as he was sure that Elrond and Glorfindel knew about his sex with Lothmir. Though that was little enough. As time wore on, and it had been several months since the bonding, Lothmir had clearly grown aware that Erestor was bound in another, deeper way. After Erestor admitted it to her, their love life more or less stopped completely. Part of Erestor wanted to run to Elrond and Glorfindel for solace, but felt that it was at least partially his responsibility to make up with Lothmir.

But he should have known that they could sense his emotions. So, to some extent, he was unsurprised when Elrond came into his study mid-day, closed and locked the door, sat down, and said, "Erestor, you need to talk to me. You have been ignoring Glorfindel and I since we were all bound. That hurts us. We cannot be a complete bond until we have affirmed it…through love. You know this as well as I do."

"Do you expect me to just give up on Lothmir?"

"That's not what I'm asking you to do, meleth."

Erestor grimaced. "Don't call me that. You know you don't mean it…"

"But Erestor, I do. We are bound. This is something you have intense problems with grasping. I do love you, I love you deeply. Not just in the sense that I lust for you, though there is that. But our fëa are bound. When you are hurting, I am hurting. And so is Glorfindel. He misses you, Erestor."

Erestor shook his head. "No. I just can't do it. I can't…" Tears of frustration, pain, and love began to roll down his cheeks.

Elrond couldn't help himself. He rose, walked over to Erestor and took him in his arms. Kissing him on the cheek, he whispered, "I know you may not feel this way towards me, but some part of me has always desired you. Do you feel even slightly that way towards me?"

Erestor brushed away the tears in his eyes so he could actually focus on Elrond. He took a second and explored his heart. "I don't think…that it has ever crossed my mind whether I desired you or not. We have always been bound in a sense. I have never felt that we needed sex to make our relationship deeper."

"You're hurting, Erestor. Let me take care of that hurt? Please?"

Erestor leaned forward and rested his head on Elrond's shoulder. In a low, choked voice, he said, "Please. Anything. Just take it away. Take the pain away."

Elrond lifted Erestor's head, kissed each of the tears on Erestor's cheeks away, and then moved to Erestor's lips. Erestor obligingly opened his mouth for a kiss, but Elrond felt no passion in it and pulled away. "Erestor. This isn't going to work if you maintain this attitude of disgust."

"Well, I've never done this before, Elrond. Not with you."

"Glorfindel and I are made more or less the same. Same essential body parts. Sex will, I promise, work the same way."

"Are we going to have sex?"

"Aren't we?"

Erestor pulled away from Elrond. "Is that what you want from me? Sex? Elrond, I was of the opinion that merely bonding did not give you free access to my body whenever your lust struck you."

Elrond stood up, highly offended at Erestor's words. "Erestor, you know how deep my affection runs for you. I was just…"

Erestor shook his head. "Forget it, Elrond. I will be fine without your assistance."

Elrond shook his head and walked out of the room.

Erestor was somehow unsurprised when, not much later, Glorfindel made an entrance. Before he could say anything, Erestor said, "If Elrond sent you, I want your "solace" no more than his."

Glorfindel sat down, a fair distance from Erestor. "Mellon, Elrond did send me, but I know you well enough to know that sex is not the answer to your problems."

"Well, glad to know that one of you two has some sense."

"But you do need something. You need us."

"Us?"

"Elrond and I. It is contributing to your misery, just as much as your bad relationship with Lothmir. Your fëa is crying out to be joined with those whom it is bonded: Elrond's and mine. To deny that is hurting you more. You willingly accepted our bond, but now you completely deny it."

"I cannot give up on Lothmir."

"What you have with Lothmir will never be as real as what you can have with Elrond and I. Let us help you find happiness. Then maybe you can attack the issue of your bond with Lothmir. Find inner peace. We can help you do that."

"No. You can have sex with me. That is what you want, it is what Elrond wants. You are not even my friends anymore…"

"Don't," Glorfindel interrupted. "Don't talk about us that way. We are all lovers. Let us love each other, the way the Valar intended…"

"The Valar did not intend for us to live a life like this. The Valar intended for us to find an elf, a SINGLE elf to bond with. I am bound to 3. I am torn, conflicted, Glorfindel. I have no one to turn to…"

"That is where you are wrong, mellon. Elrond and I, we are of the same fëa as you. We are joined, we are one. Your hurts are our hurts. We can do something to change that. But not until you let us. Please let us. You are hurting us as well as yourself."

Erestor closed his eyes and silently sobbed for a few moments. He appreciated the fact that Glorfindel did not attempt to comfort him. Perhaps that was part of the reason that once he had regained control of himself, he got up and walked over to Glorfindel. Glorfindel opened his arms and held Erestor for several long minutes.

Finally, Erestor whispered, "Will it take the pain away? Will giving myself to the two of you make it not hurt so much?"

Glorfindel closed his eyes. "I know the pain you are in, meleth. I want to do whatever is in my power to ease that pain. It may not take all the pain away, but our bond will be confirmed and we will be truly one. Please let us do this."

Erestor sighed, then slowly nodded. "I cannot take this pain any more. I will do anything that has any hope of remedying it." He kissed Glorfindel swiftly, almost chastely, on the lips, and said, "I will be in Elrond's rooms tonight. You may join us or not, as you see fit. But now, I will get back to work, and you will leave."