Disclaimer: Still ain't mine, yo.
A/N: Alright, time for more excitement! Are you ready? Set! Go, I mean read!
…
Cruddy Diary!
Chapter 12
July 29th
The first thing I did this morning was walking straight to Numbuh 3's room. I was confused, anxious and a little angry as I pulled the green curtain to her room out of my way. "Kuki? I need to t-…"
Kuki screamed out in shock and frustration. She was standing in front of her wardrobe, wearing nothing but her underwear and a top. She quickly covered herself with her nightgown. "Wally! You could've knocked!"
"Crud!" I covered my eyes with my hands. "I-I'm sorry!"
"I've told you before to knock before you just storm into my room like this!" she shouted angrily. "What were you thinking?"
My face was burning. I turned away from her, still with my hands over my eyes. "I just need to talk to you…"
"What if I wasn't wearing anything at all, you freak?" she shouted, ignoring what I'd just said. "I would've had to kill you!"
"I'm sorry!" I shouted irritated, suddenly remembering why I was there. "Jeez, you should get a real door here. That way I can't disturb your precious privacy!"
"Don't you think I want a door?" she cried.
"Whatever… Look, I just need to talk to you real quick." I carefully looked over my shoulder. Kuki was wearing her long-sleeved green sweater and her black tights, and she was now struggling to tie her shoes.
"Alright, what is it you're so desperate to talk about?" she asked, still sounding annoyed.
I walked over to her bed, where she was sitting while working on the knots on her shoelaces. I sat down next to her and sighed. "I need to know what you were doing in my room last night."
Kuki froze. There was only silence. Then she finally managed to say something. "I…I wasn't doing anything…"
I shook my head, irritated. "Yeah, sure, whatever, but why were you there?" I tried to look her in the eyes, but she refused to look back.
"I… I don't know…" Her voice came out sounding so small.
"You just seemed so freaked out when I came back," I told her. "Was something wrong? It's okay that you were in there, I'm just curious of why you were there. Oh, and if you want to be in my room, please ask for my permission first the next time, okay?"
She nodded. Man, she was acting weird! I couldn't stand it, so I just went to get some breakfast.
…
Probably around 7 PM, but it's not freaking important!
I don't know what to do! My life is over! I probably shouldn't be writing in this diary anymore… It's not safe…
I went home to eat dinner with Mom and Dad, and to clean my room, because Mom had told me to… I hate it how I always listen to her. Anyways, I came back her a while ago. I was surprised to find the TV room close to empty. Kuki was the only one in there. The TV was on, but there was no sound. She had switched it to mute.
"Hi, Kuki," I greeted her and sat down next to her on the couch. "Where're the others?" Then I glanced at the TV. "Hey, why'd you kill the sound?"
She didn't answer. She didn't even look at me. All she did was sit there and stare at the floor, completely shutting me out.
So I started to look for the remote to turn the sound back on. I suddenly noticed that it was next to Kuki on the other side of the couch, so I couldn't reach it without stretching my arm over her. I didn't exactly feel like doing that. I looked at her face. She looked so depressed, so angry.
"Kuki? What's wrong?" When she didn't answer, I carefully touched her arm. She totally freaked out and slapped my hand off of her. Then she stood up and buried her face in her sleeve-covered palms. She cried…
"No… No, don't cry, Kuki… Please…" I stood up and laid my hand on her shoulder.
"Get away from me!" she shouted and stepped away. "I hate you!"
"Wh-what?" I was too shocked to say anything else.
"You read my diary, you creep!" she screamed and pushed me hard to get me away from her. "I thought I could trust you! But no, you had to be all stupid and read it! And I hate you for that!"
"How could you kn-…" I stopped talking when I realized what this was all about. "Oh, Numbuh 5 is so dead! She told you, didn't she?"
"What are you talking about?" Kuki cried and wiped her face. "No, she has nothing to do with this! It has something to do with you going into my room and getting my diary to copy it! You're such a dummy! I hate you!" She pushed me again, harder this time.
"Wait… You know that I copied it?" I asked as I tried to get my balance back. "How can you know that?" I thought about it for a while. "Unless you actually read my diary! You did, didn't you?"
"Well, yeah, or else I wouldn't have known!" she replied angrily.
"Well, then you're not much better!" I snapped. "I read yours, you read mine!"
"You read mine first!" she screamed. "And I hate you for it!" Then she ran out of the room. I wanted to follow her, but I didn't feel like running. I felt terrible, and I still do. I don't know if I should feel that bad about it, though. She should feel just as bad, right?
God, I need some rest!
…
July 30th
2:53 AM
I've thought about it and decided to stop writing in this diary. It is too risky, and besides I don't feel like it anymore. What happened today ruined everything. I've spent the last hours thinking.
What Kuki said to me really hurt. Believe it or not, I actually cried… Yeah, I know! It's not guy-ish enough for me to cry, but whatever! I'm heartbroken now. When I came back here and really thought about what she said to me, I suddenly felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. That's why I cried…
I'm clueless now. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, and I feel like burying myself in the backyard and never coming back out. I just wanna be alone… Though I want Kuki to listen to me. If we could put this all behind us, everything would be fine. But it's not that easy…
So I guess these are the last words I'll ever write in this book. I'll miss it, sort of. Writing always made me feel better in a strange way. I guess it's like that for some people. So this is it… My last words…
God! These five words keep bothering me! 'I love Kuki.' Oh, wait… That's not five words… Never mind! The point is that I want her to know that! So now I've said that, and I'll put this diary away forever…
…
9:00 PM
Numbuh 1 was just in here… He talked to me. I'm surprised to find him feeling sorry for me in the position that I'm in right now. He knocked on my door earlier. When I didn't answer, he opened the door carefully and looked inside.
"Numbuh 4? Are you here?" He walked in and looked around. He quickly spotted me up in the wrestling ring. I was sitting up there, hugging my pillow tightly, rocking back and forth with my head lowered.
Numbuh 1 climbed up into the ring and sat down next to me. "Hey… I talked to Numbuh 5. She told me Numbuh 3 had told her about how you did something you weren't supposed to. And now Numbuh 3's upset with you."
I ignored him. I just didn't feel like talking.
"Numbuh 5 was in Numbuh 3's room earlier," Numbuh 1 told me. "Numbuh 3 told her everything. She read your diary… and found out that you had read hers."
I sighed. "You think that's lame, don't you? That I kept a diary?"
"Lame?" Numbuh 1 stared at me. "Why would I think you were lame? A lot of people have journals. Not that I have one, but still. You shouldn't feel bad about it." He wrapped his arms around his knees. "I wanted to tell you something, though. I thought about something when Numbuh 5 told me how cruel you were for reading Numbuh 3's diary. I thought that Numbuh 3 did that, too. She did exactly the same to you. And it wasn't to pay you back, because she didn't know you had read hers first. So she was going to read your diary just as well as you read hers. You just beat her to it, which means you were the most observant one."
I looked at him, my dignity suddenly rushing back to me. He was right! Kuki was just as bad as me! I was allowed to be just as mad with her as she was with me! Besides, I had done it out of love! Didn't she realize that?
I don't care about what Kuki means. I'm keeping this diary, and I won't stop writing in it. I've decided to talk to Kuki tomorrow. It's too late now… and I'm too much of a chicken… So yes, tomorrow's a good day. I'll get her to forgive me tomorrow. I'm just tired and still a little depressed. I'm feeling a whole lot better, though. Man, these emotions are driving me crazy! I haven't eaten all day, and I'm still not hungry.
…
July 31st
You can't even imagine the feelings that rushed through me when I approached Kuki's room today. My heart was racing, and I felt like throwing up. Not that I had anything to throw up, though, since I haven't eaten much in two days…
I knocked softly on the wall next to the curtain and waited anxiously for an answer. I fumbled with the sleeves on my hoodie.
After a little while, Kuki's voice finally answered. "Come in." She didn't sound cheerful and happy. She sounded gloomy and upset. But that wouldn't stop me from talking to her.
I pulled the curtain aside and glanced over at her bed. She was sitting on it with her legs crossed, hugging a blue Rainbow Monkey to her chest. Her eyes met mine. My head was spinning.
"I knew it was you…" she told me. Her face expressed a lot of mixed emotions.
"So… why did you let me come in?" I asked, suddenly realizing I shouldn't have said that.
She gave me a hard stare. I looked away for a second before I remembered what I was going to say to her. I had worked on it for hours before I actually got there.
"Kuki, we have to talk." I walked over to her bed and sat down next to her. "I know you're upset with me. But you have to understand that I have all rights to be mad at you, too. I know I read your diary first, but you were planning the same thing. There was a lot of stuff in my diary I didn't want you to see, you know."
"What kind of stuff?" she asked. "You didn't write anything really secret… At least not as I could see."
I frowned at her in confusion. "Err… Are you sure we're talking about the same book?"
"I didn't read much of what you had written," she told me. "But I especially noticed what you had copied from mine, and you weren't even ashamed about it! That's why I hate you!"
"What?" I cried. "Yeah, I was ashamed! You just didn't read that part! Stop accusing me for things before you're totally sure, alright?" I shook my head. "I'm guessing you didn't read why I wanted to read your diary…"
She looked at me. "Because you wanted to be a moron?"
"No! Because I…" I choked! Again!
Kuki lowered her eyes.
"You don't hate me…" I muttered. The words caught her attention. She stared curiously at me.
"You're right… I don't hate you. I just hate you for reading and copying my diary. That's about the sickest thing I've ever heard! You don't copy other people's diaries! How long did it take you to write all of it down, anyway?"
"I know it was sick…" I replied. "But just so you know it, time makes no difference to me when I'm writing. Except with homework… Copying your diary probably took quite some time, but that didn't matter. You missed out on a lot in my diary, obviously. If you had just read two whole pages anywhere in it, you would've known the answer to all of this by now."
Her violet eyes stared into my emerald ones. "What do you mean?"
"You actually took my diary, opened it and went through most of it without really reading anything, and the most important thing you noticed was the parts from your own diary. That's amazing! I've written secret stuff throughout most of it, and you didn't even notice it once!"
"Notice what?"
I hesitated. "Never mind. It's probably better if you don't know…" I stood up. "All I wanted to tell you was that we're even. You read my diary, I read yours. There's nothing we can do about the past, but there's certainly something we can do about the future. I totally forgive you for reading my diary, if you forgive me."
"I can't just forgive you!" she cried. "You know that I-I…"
"You what?" I shrugged. I knew what she meant. But forcing her to say it was really tempting. I slowly turned away from her. "Just think about it, Kuki. Things could go back to normal, and we could be friends again. It's either that, or we're mad at each other forever, something that is extremely wrong! We're not supposed to be upset with each other because we are so great together, and I think you know that just as well as I do." And with that, I left the room.
I'm worried about her reaction. I wonder if she'll kill me, or if she'll just let everything go back to normal. Luckily for me, she wasn't that angry today. She was more, like, sad. At least she listened to me, that's the important part.
I know she was about to tell me in person that she loves me, and I'd be really happy if she had. But I was too yellow to do it as well, so I'm not much better. I know that she loves me, but she doesn't know that I love her… I wanted to tell her that. But she'll find out soon enough. Right?
…
August 1st
Great… I think the whole world hates me now!
I felt much better today when I woke up. I went to the kitchen to get something to eat. My stomach hurt a lot, since I hadn't exactly eaten a whole lot the past few days. After that I decided to play some videogames.
Numbuh 2 was surprised to find me outside my room. "Wow, Numbuh 4! You're still alive." He chuckled at his joke. "No, but seriously. You've been locked inside your room for a long time. What's up with that?"
I lowered my eyebrows at him. "You wouldn't understand." I had paused the game, but now I got back to my battle on the screen.
He walked over to the couch and sat down next to me. "Is there something I'm missing here? Something I don't know about? Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 5 told me to mind my own business here the other day. And Numbuh 3 hasn't been out of her room either for a while. I'm totally confused."
"It's not important," I muttered annoyed.
"Are you kidding?" he exclaimed. "If it's not important, how come you all are acting so strange, then? I hate to be left out, and you should know that by now. I thought we were best friends." He looked at me with an upset expression.
"We… are… It's just that… this is my problem." I put the controller down. "I don't want to talk about it, and I especially don't want anybody to rub it in. Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 5 weren't supposed to know either."
"Then what about Numbuh 3?" he asked.
"She's part of the problem," I replied. "It's between her and me. I repeat, you wouldn't understand."
"Why wouldn't I understand?" he asked, frowning at me.
"Because I said so!" I shouted angrily.
The eerie silence that fell between us was about to kill me. I felt really bad for yelling at him like that.
"Fine. I know when I'm not wanted." He stood up and walked over to the door. "I guess I'm not your best friend after all, then…"
"Hoagie, it's not that," I started.
"No, don't worry," he interrupted. "I'm not gonna bother you." Then he left the room.
Man, I thought best friends were supposed to be understanding! Now even Hoagie hates me! Kuki still hates me. I haven't seen her all day, so I'm betting she's in her room, still really pissed at me. Or maybe she's thinking. I hope she is. I hope things will be alright after all of this.
…
7:35 PM
This is all rather disturbing. I had decided that it was time to show Kuki that I really did feel bad about taking her diary. So I brought my own diary as I left my room, hiding it behind my back, just in case I met one of the others on the way.
I was silently walking down the hall to Numbuh 3's room. Then I heard voices from her room. I stopped by the curtain and listened.
"We shouldn't talk about this right now," a voice said. It was Numbuh 1's. "I know you love me, and I love you, too. But I'm in the middle of something right now."
What? That was the only word that went through my head. Was Numbuh 1 talking to Numbuh 3? Did he really love her? I couldn't take it! I ran for the curtain and pulled it aside as I stormed into the room. "Get away from her!" I screamed.
Numbuh 3 was sitting on her bed with Numbuh 5 next to her, while Numbuh 1 was standing in the middle of the room with a cordless phone in his hand. They all gave me confused looks.
"Numbuh 4, do you need to lie down for a while?" Numbuh 5 asked and looked at me as if I was crazy.
"Hold on, Lizzie," Numbuh 1 said into the phone. "That was Numbuh 4. He seems to be a little disturbed lately." He then lowered the phone and stared at me. "What's the meaning of this, Numbuh 4? You scared the heck out of me!"
My face was burning, so I guessed it was bright red by now. I held the diary behind my back. "I… err… Sorry…" I lowered my head. "I'll just go do some stuff now…" I turned around and was about to leave, now hiding the diary in front of me.
"Wait, Numbuh 4," Numbuh 5's voice said. "Come here for a sec."
I carefully walked over to her without exchanging any looks with Numbuh 3.
"You and Numbuh 3 have some unfinished business to take care of here," Numbuh 5 continued. "You should talk about it and get over it already."
Numbuh 1 finished his phone call with Lizzie and hung up. Then he turned to face me. "Sit down, Numbuh 4." He pointed at the bed.
I did as I was told. I sat down next to Numbuh 5, too scared and ashamed to sit down next to Kuki. I had just made a huge mistake. I thought Numbuh 1 liked Numbuh 3… How embarrassing. I mistrusted two of my best friends. How could I do something like that? I feel horrible about it now when I'm thinking about it, and I was still blushing when I was sitting there, next to Numbuh 5 on the bed.
"You two have both committed a crime against your friendship," Numbuh 1 said to us, pacing back and forth on the floor in front of the bed. "In order to maintain your friendship, you should never let this repeat itself. You've caused us all to worry, and that should never be necessary. When the two of you have a problem, you have to be able to sort it out yourselves. You've made Numbuh 2 upset by leaving him out of it all. Numbuh 5 knew it all from the beginning of. I found out later by asking her what the heck was going on between you two. Frankly, I'm sick of your emotions getting in the way all the time. Lately, you two have caused a lot of trouble on the behalf of the team. As your leader, and because it annoys me, it's my job to tell you two to stop this!"
I folded my arms over my chest and lowered my head once more in shame. Numbuh 3 looked really sad.
"Understood?" Numbuh 1 asked.
"But Numbuh 1, you don't understand," Kuki said. "It's not as easy as you might think. Wally and I, we're… Well, we… I…"
"Oh, yes, I think I do understand, Numbuh 3," he replied.
Was he serious? Did he know that we loved each other, or did he just say it to make us shut up? And the strange part was that only a few days ago, he was acting all nice and helpful, while now, he was just grumpy.
"You'll finish this, and you'll finish it now," Numbuh 1 added. Then he looked at Numbuh 5. "Come on, let's leave them alone."
She looked at me. "Numbuh 5 says you two should kiss and make up, now." She winked at me as I made a face at her. Then she looked over at Numbuh 3. "It'll be fine, girl. Just be completely honest with him, and smack him if he's acting up. Good luck."
Numbuh 3 smiled at her. She thought the part about her smacking me was funny, obviously. Then she watched the two of them leaving the room, as did I.
We just sat there in silence for a while. I was fumbling with my diary. She was twisting her long green sleeves. I decided it was time I broke the silence.
"I wanted to show you something," I muttered and glanced over at her. I moved a little closer and opened the diary to the page where I had written how bad I felt about taking her diary. "Look, this is where I wrote about your diary, and how bad I felt. Listen." I started to read from it. "I feel terrible now… Was this really the right thing to do? That book isn't mine! It belongs to the girl that I… Err, we'll skip that part!" I blushed and kept reading. "What's written in it are her thoughts and personal feelings. Should I really be so cruel that I open it and read it all? Would she do the same thing with my diary if she knew I had one? So, you see. I did feel bad."
She looked at me. "Why did you skip some of it?" She grabbed the book out of my hands.
"No, wait!" I cried and snapped it back out of her hands.
"What is it with you?" she asked. "You've read everything I've ever written about you. It's my turn now. You're being unfair!"
"Kuki! This is not a cruddy game!" I shouted.
"You're still being a moron!" she shouted back and grabbed a hold of the book. We started to pull on it from each our side of it. "Give it!"
"No way!" I cried. She managed to hit my nose with one hand while snapping the diary with the other as I had to let go because of the pain. She got up and held the book out of my reach.
"Crud! Kuki, that really hurt!" I cried as I got up as well. "Gimme it!" I tried to grab the diary, but she's still taller than me. I was jumping up and down next to her, but she still managed to keep me from getting it back.
Kuki laughed. "You're funny!"
"Oh, yes, being a short kid is always a lot of fun," I said sarcastically. "Now, give me that diary!"
She opened it and started to read, while she was holding me back with her leg. She kicked me in the stomach.
"Hey, be careful!" I shouted. "I doubt you want me to throw up all over you!"
Kuki started to read out loud, only to make me angrier. "It felt like we waited for an hour, though it was just a couple of minutes. Then the alarm clock started making a loud, ear piercing sound. Nigel practically jumped through the ceiling! He let out a tiny cry and looked around to see what made that infernal sound. He looked scared out of his mind! Hoagie and I started laughing hysterically! We fell to the floor outside the closet, holding our tummies as we shouted in laughter."
I tried to grab her leg as she kicked after me again, but I failed. "Stop reading, Kuki!" I shouted in anger. I attacked her again. She was ready for it and kicked me really hard right in the crotch. I fell to my knees with my hands on the painful spot. The pain was indescribable. Girls just don't understand how painful that actually is. That's why Kuki just stared to laugh at me.
She read some more. "The sound stopped, but that didn't stop us from laughing. I was crying and losing my breath as I couldn't stop laughing. "Numbuh 2! Numbuh 4!" Nigel screamed. "What the heck are you two doing?" I was rolling on to my back, laughing even harder. I stamped my feet on the floor, holding over my tummy. "We-we were just – HAHAHA!" Hoagie couldn't answer either. "That was not funny, guys!" Nigel shouted. "You scared me to death!" Ha-ha, this is really funny, Wally!" She waited for me to answer. "Wally?" She then noticed how I was curled up in a ball on the floor. "Are you okay? I didn't kick you that hard."
Not that hard? What the crud? I was in serious pain! I had tears in my eyes, for crying out loud! You know, it's not about how you kick, it's about where you kick. Oh, well… I guess she got me back for copying her diary…
"Just get up," she told me. "I'm reading some more. Now, let's see… Where was I? Oh, here I, think! We left the room to go back and get some more sleep before it's time to eat breakfast and get ourselves ready for another day. Kuki's still sleeping. I've been sitting here and watching her for a few minutes. She's so peaceful, so beautiful." She stopped and looked down at me.
I was gritting my teeth in pain, as I got up on my feet again. "Stop reading, Kuki… Please… This isn't funny."
She was just staring at me in shock. Then she managed to say something. "You…- You think I'm beautiful?"
I felt like throwing up! "I… I guess…"
She kept reading. "She's barely moving. Her side moves up and down when she's taking a new breath. I can hardly hear her breathe. She's so gorgeous that I'm starting to doubt that I even deserve her…" She looked at me in confusion for a while. Then she focused on the book again. "But I don't want to give her up. She's mine! I've worked so hard to get where I am today. …well, actually not… I've done nothing at all. Just about… If I only dared to kiss her! You wanted to kiss me, Wally?" She looked at me again.
"Okay, you've had your fun," I said with a sigh. "Now, give me that diary! I mean it!"
"You're just embarrassed!" she said and giggled. Again, she read from the diary. "Then I'd be doing something. I'd improve our relationship, and maybe we'd end up as girlfriend and boyfriend. I hope we do. There's a chance for it, right? I mean, if I dare to… kiss her. I really hope I do…" She was quiet for a while, before she slammed the book shut and let out a squeal of delight. She was obviously happy about what she'd just read. "You like me!"
I blushed and slapped my hand against my forehead. "Man, you're such a pain!"
"You don't really mean that, you don't really mean that!" her voice chimed in a singsong-y fashion. "Because you like me, because you like me, because you like me, because you like me!"
I gave up. She had won. I started to walk away from her, leaving my diary behind.
"Oh, come on, Wally!" she called after me. "Cheer up, already! Aren't you happy we both like each other?"
I didn't feel like answering her. I just left her room and walked back to my own. I had enough time to lie down for a while, with my head buried in the pillow, and some time to punch my boxing bag until I got tired, before Kuki showed up. She knocked on the door before she opened it. I was standing next to the boxing bag, which I had just finished punching.
"See, I'm polite," she said and pointed at the door. "I knocked before I walked in. Anyways, here's your diary back. I'm guessing you want it. Oh, just one more thing." She opened it and found a page. "Look! It says here: Err, she does not hate me… She loves me! Yes! I knew it! She really loves me! And I love her! We love each other! I can hardly believe it! It's really real love! In other words, Wally, I know you love me. It's adorable! You already know I love you, so that's nothing new. But… you love me!"
I was blushing deeply… again! "So… what do you want me to say?" I asked.
"Say? Uhm…" She thought about it. She obviously hadn't expected me to answer her at all. "I want you to say that you love me! Come on, say it!"
"I already did…" I pointed at the book.
"No, silly!" she giggled. "Tell me in person. Say it now!" She walked closer, stopping right in front of me.
I snapped the diary out of her hands. "I'm not in the mood." I turned away from her and climbed up the ladder to put my diary back.
"Okay, I'll go get something to eat," she replied. "Just remember to tell me later!" She skipped out of the room.
I then sat down to write everything in the diary, and I now have cramps in my arm. It feels like it's about to fall off! I'm in pain! And I'm not feeling well in general. Seriously, is this how I really want it? Kuki finally knows, but I'm not so sure about this anymore. I am so… freaked out. I wanted Kuki to know just a few days ago. So what made me change my mind? Was it the whole diary thing? That shouldn't be responsible for changing my feelings for her. That's just weird. I don't get it…
…
A/N: If you have a problem with me making Kuki kick Wally in the crotch, she did that to him in Operation: C.O.U.C.H., so there you go. Oh, and Wally hit a teenager in the crotch with a pillow in S.L.U.M.B.E.R., so crotch hitting/kicking is very spread out in KND, apparently.