"Jesse, I can't find Sara anywhere. I checked the yard, the studio, upstairs, everywhere. I checked with the girls, Danny and Joey, but nobody has seen her since after dinner. Where on earth could she be?" Becky asked worriedly.
"I don't know honey. Maybe she went for a walk or something." Jesse said as he gripped his hair tightly.
"Jesse, she knows she's supposed to ask before she goes anywhere. There's something wrong, I can feel it." Becky said. They stood in silence for a moment, until Becky looked up at Jesse with wide eyes.
"Oh my gosh, Jesse. Do you think she heard us talking about her earlier?" She asked. Jesse stared at her, considering it.
"Jesse, maybe she heard us and was so upset that she ran away." Becky said sadly.
"Alright, Becky you take our car and look around the city. I'll call Ms. Morrison and tell her Sara is missing. I'll take Danny's car and look too. Take your cell phone; I'll take mine too." Jesse said quickly as he grabbed the phone. Becky nodded, grabbing her keys and running out the door.
"Hello?" Ms. Morrison answered.
"Ms. Morrison, it's Jesse Katsoppolus." Jesse sighed heavily. "We have a problem.
Sara was sitting under a tree in the park across the street from Jacobson Group Home. It had taken her an hour to walk there, since she got lost on the way. She hugged her knees tightly as tears fell freely down her face. Sara couldn't remember a time when she had cried this much. She felt so alone and wished she could just run inside the building across the street that had been her home and talk to Britney, but she knew Ms. Morrison would call Jesse and Becky.
Sara sighed and stared at the night sky and for the first time in four years, her mind wandered to her mom and dad and the day they walked out on her. Sara could feel herself getting angry and finally, it all came out.
"Why did you do this to me? Why did you have to walk out on me? I wouldn't have been so screwed up if you would have just stayed with me like moms and dads are supposed to!" Sara screamed out as tears of fury streamed down her face. She felt herself shaking and she was breathing heavily. It's not fair. She thought.
"Hi Sara." Sara jumped when she looked up and saw that Britney was bending down to sit next to her best friend. Sara dried her eyes quickly.
"What are you doing here?" Sara asked, keeping her head down.
"Jessecalled Ms. Morrison and told her you were missing. I was in her office when she got the call, so I knew what was going on. Ms. Morrison wanted to go look for you in her car, so I went with her. We drove around for a while until I realized I knew where you went, and, well, here I am." Britney explained. Sara couldn't bring herself to stop crying, even thought she had never allowed herself to cry in front of others.
"Does that mean Ms. Morrison is with you?" Sara asked quietly.
"She's waiting in the car. I convinced her to let me come alone." Britney replied, as she pointed to a car parked at the end of the park. Sara could make out the figure of Ms. Morrison in the distance.
"Becky, it's Ms. Morrison." Ms. Morrison said after Becky had answered her cell phone. Ms. Morrison was calling from her cell phone, as she sat in her car, watching Sara in the distance with her best friend.
"Hi Ms. Morrison." Becky said worriedly. She was still driving around the city, keeping her eyes peeled for any sign of Sara.
"I found her Becky. She's safe." Ms. Morrison said and she could hear Becky breath a deep sigh of relief.
"Where is she?" Becky asked, and Ms. Morrison could tell she was crying a little.
"Across the street from the group home, there's a park. She's there, and Britney is with her. I told Britney to keep her there as long as possible until you or Jesse gets here. Sara has no idea I called you." Ms. Morrison explained.
"Alright, I'll be there in a few minutes, I'm not far from there. I'll probably be there first, because Jesse is searching the other end of the city. I'll see you soon." Becky hung up and immediately called her husband's cell phone.
"Jesse, Ms. Morrison found her. She's at the park across the street from the group home. I'm on my way there right now. How long will it take you to get there?" Becky asked as she turned her car around.
"Well, I'm on the other end of town, but I should be there within the half hour. Call me if anything changes." Jesse paused. "It's going to be okay Becky." He said soothingly.
"Alright honey, I'll see you soon." Becky hung up and as she drove toward the park, she feared what would happen when she got there.
"Why did you run away?" Britney asked as she and Sara sat under the tree, shivering from the cold. Sara hesitated, but felt so alone and so tense from all the anger she was feeling inside, she knew she had to let it out somehow.
"I heard them talking. They said my parents really screwed me up." Sara said quietly. Britney sighed.
"Sara I'm sure they didn't mean it." She said, not sure of what to say anymore.
"They said it plain as day. How could they not mean it?" Sara asked through bitter tears.
"Well, maybe if you talked to them about it, maybe they will have an explanation." Britney tried, hoping not to make Sara angry enough to run off again. Ms. Morrison had trusted her to keep Sara put until Ms. Morrison would have enough time to call Jesse and Becky and have them come down.
"I don't want to talk to them Britney. They said I had problems; they said my parents were jerks!" Sara cried.
"Sara, maybe they're just angry at your mom and dad because of what they did to you. I know I am. Jesse and Becky care about you a lot; if they didn't, why would they have adopted you? They probably just don't want anything bad to happen to you and they wish they could help you, but you won't let them. Maybe it was wrong for them to say your parents screwed you up, but maybe they're frustrated. How do you think they're feeling? All they want to do is be your parents and parents want to do what's best for their kids. Jesse and Becky want to help you but you keep pushing them away." Britney explained, as Sara seemed to be taking it all in. She hadn't thought of that. She had never realized how frustrating it must be to try so hard to get close to a girl who is trying to avoid getting close.
Sara suddenly heard footsteps approaching the two girls. Sara guessed it would have been Ms. Morrison, but when she looked up, she saw Becky standing over them.
"Hi Sara." Becky said softly. Sara turned to Britney and stared at her.
"You knew she was coming, didn't you?" She asked, feeling somewhat betrayed. Britney stood up and looked down at her best friend.
"Yes, I knew Sara. Don't be angry. I think you need to sort this out before it gets worse. Remember what I said. I hope one day you can forgive me." Britney said and she turned to leave.
"Thank you Britney. You're a good friend." Becky said with a smile.
"You're welcome. It's nice to meet you Mrs. Katsoppolus." Britney replied.
"Call me Becky and thanks again." Becky said. Britney smiled, looked at Sara once more and headed toward Ms. Morrison, who was still waiting in her car.
Sara wanted to get up and run, but she knew there was no point. From all the times Sara had played basketball with Becky, she learned that Becky was quick, and would easily catch her if she tried to run.
Becky bent down and sat down next to Sara under the tree. Neither said a word for a few moments. Becky didn't know what to say, and Sara had nothing to say. Becky knew she had to say something; otherwise they would sit in the silence all night.
"Sara, why did you run away?" Becky asked cautiously. Sara sighed heavily, turning her head away from Becky, hiding her tears. Becky had to keep pushing. She knew Dr. Harner had said to be patient and let Sara be the one to come forward, but the situation was becoming serious. Jesse, Becky and Ms. Morrison had all spent the last two hours scoping the city of San Francisco for a 13-year-old girl who had put herself in danger by being out by herself this late. It was now after 11:00p.m. and Becky couldn't bear the thought of what could have happened to Sara if they hadn't have found her. She could have been mugged, kidnapped, raped, or even killed! Becky couldn't let this happen again. Sara was hers and Jesses responsibility and they had to do everything they could to prevent another runaway.
"Sara, did you hear Jesse and I talking earlier?" Becky asked. When Sara didn't answer, but began sobbing silently, Becky knew she had. Becky suddenly heard someone approaching them and she was grateful when she saw Jesse had arrived. Becky wanted to smile, but couldn't. She only reached up her hand and Jesse took it, kneeling down beside Becky.
"Hey Sara; you okay kiddo?" Jesse asked softly, not wanting to scare her. Sara didn't move, or acknowledge their presence.
"I think Sara heard us talking earlier." Becky said to Jesse, as she looked over to Sara, who began sobbing again. She was so angry with herself for allowing herself to cry so much. She felt weak and vulnerable.
"Sara, please just talk to us. You really scared us tonight when you ran away, honey. We want to make sure that doesn't happen again. Just tell us what upset you." Becky pleaded in a calm voice. Sara felt angry and wanted to yell and scream at them for what they had said, but she felt overwhelmingly exhausted to do anything. She could remember what Britney had said too; about how frustrating this must be for Jesse and Becky. They wish they could help you but you won't let them. Britney's voice rang through Sara's mind and she realized and accepted the fact that maybe her best friend was right. She felt no need to keep quiet; what did she have to lose?
"You think I'm a screwed up kid with problems. You think my mom and dad are jerks. Why did you adopt me if I'm just some screwed up kid?" Sara cried out, surprising Jesse and Becky greatly. They hadn't expected Sara to budge, let alone speak up, but now that she had, Jesse and Becky immediately felt heartbroken for the young girl whose heart wrenching sobs rang through their ears.
"Oh sweetie, we don't think you're a screwed up kid; we were just talking. We just feel that you shut people out because of what your mom and dad did to you, and we don't think that's right. You should be able to trust people, but you don't trust anybody and that makes us sad, because you keep everything locked up inside." Becky said as a tear rolled down her cheek, hating how hurt Sara was feeling.
"Sara, we shouldn't have called your parents jerks, but we felt angry with them. Becky and I are parents, and we just can't imagine how they could just get up and leave such an amazing girl. They had an awesome daughter, and they gave it all away. Becky and I just think you deserve so much better than that." Jesse explained.
"And we don't regret adopting you Sara. Yes, you may be dealing with a lot right now, but we just want to help you, if you'll let us. Sara, we love you." Becky said, and Sara felt her whole body go numb. It was a feeling she had never experienced before. She couldn't remember a time when her mom and dad told her they loved her, and now she was sitting in a park with two people who loved her, and wanted to be her parents. Those three words ran through her, and she was surprised that she believed them. They were heartfelt and true. In that brief moment, she remembered the last few weeks she had spent with Jesse and Becky, and couldn't remember a time when they had hurt her, yelled at her, or made her feel like she wasn't worth it. All those times Becky tried to talk to me, she was trying to help. All those times Jesse played music for me, he was trying to get close to me. They've done so much; they've tried to help me, and I've pushed them away, just like I've pushed Ms. Morrison away. Sara realized, and felt a large burden lifted from her shoulders as she came to this revelation. Jesse and Becky were not going to hurt her like her mom and dad did; she could feel it in that moment when Becky told her they loved her. Sara turned and looked Becky right in the eye, not caring that she had tears streaming down her face anymore.
"You…what?" She asked, as if needing to hear the words again, to confirm everything she had just realized.
"We love you Sara. You're our daughter now, and we want to be good parents to you, so you can see that you can trust people and not get hurt." Becky repeated, and Sara shook her head, not able to believe everything that just occurred to her. Sara suddenly felt guilty for the way she had treated them and for worrying them on more than one occasion; when she passed out from not eating, when she had cut herself and now, for running away from home, having them drive through the entire city to look for her.
"I'm, I'm sorry I ran away." Sara said meekly after a moment of silence. "I should have just talked to you right away." She couldn't believe she just said that, and she knew that Jesse and Becky were shocked as well.
"Sara, we don't expect you to talk to us if you don't feel comfortable, but promise us you won't run away again, okay? We were really worried." Jesse said.
"We want to be able to help you overcome the pain you're dealing with, but we don't want to push you. We know you have never talked about what happened, Ms. Morrison told us that, but we really hope one day you will be able to trust us enough to let us hear it, so we can work through it together, and so you can know that you're not alone. Maybe not today Sara, but when you're ready, we're here to listen." Becky said with a wink. There were a few moments of silence, until Sara felt an overwhelming feeling inside of her, something pushing her to do something she had never done, but felt strongly about. She couldn't believe she was about to do it, but she felt a strange sort of peace about it, and felt like it was the right time and place. Jesse and Becky were shocked to hear the first words come out of her mouth that had never been heard before, by anybody.
"I was nine years old when it happened…" Sara closed her eyes, and began to remember the haunting past that had been locked inside her for four years.