Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
Gray. The fine line that separates our best and worst. That is where I have been for four months. Somewhere in between. The lose of love is something that beings go through every day. But not Jedi.
I let the warm currents of the Force wash over me as I meditated in the gardens. I often come here. It's peaceful. It was also one of the many meeting places for Obi-Wan and I when we were apprentices.
It's been nearly a year since that dread full day on Vando. The Healers in the Temple could not figure out why I was in a coma. It completely baffled them. I really don't blame them for giving up.
Anakin has found another master. I was glad. I know Obi-Wan wanted me to have him as my apprentice, but he doesn't have the patients for a Healer.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I can't really accept that Obi-Wan is gone. But I know he is. I know because he died in my arms. It is something that I will be plagued with for the rest of my life.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
What the blazes do they want now?
Sighing I opened my eyes and answered my comm. link.
"Sanchez." I said, irritation clear in my voice.
"Sorry to bother you, Em. But Master Aldeara wants you."
I recognized the voice. It was an apprentice Healer named Va Hayo. Poor thing, she sounded really on edge.
"Why?" I asked her sighing softly.
"Don't know but she seems rather… annoyed. " She replied.
Of course. I was the only one in the entire Medical community that could officially annoy her.
"Alright, Va. I'll be there in a minute." I told her, sighing.
"Thanks." She replied then the comm. went dead.
I shook my head. What had I supposedly done now?
I sighed once more.
I stood and walked slowly out of the garden and down the corridor to the lift. Stepping onto it I selected the main Med level, six levels up. As the lift slowly started it's way up, I turned to look out the window. It was a beautiful day. The air fresh from the recent rainfall. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.
"Ah! What's this? A cloud? Hum. Thought too soon." I muttered to myself.
I heard the doors swish open and I turned and walked out. The main Med center wasn't that far from the lifts, so it only took about 3 minutes to reach the front desk. The Padawan on duty looked up at me and smiled. I smiled and nodded back to her, as I walked briskly past.
Va came up beside me as I neared the exam rooms.
"I have no idea what you have done now but it must not have been pretty." She said to me.
"That's the problem, Va. I don't know what I've done." I told her shaking my head.
"Well good luck. She hasn't been in a good mood this morning, so you'll need it." Va told me as she stopped at one of the exam rooms.
I sighed and walked past. "Thanks." I muttered, and bravely continued down the hall to the Master Healer's office.
I stopped in front of the door. It was partly open. I knocked and pocked my head through the gap.
"You wanted to see me, Vos?" I asked.
The brown hair Master Healer looked up from her paper work. Her dark brown eyes intriguingly intent. A frown was fixed on her face.
I held back a wince at the look on her face. She really didn't look happy.
"Yes. Yes, I do. Please, come in and close the door." She said slowly.
I nodded to myself. So I was right. I have done something. I thought. I walked in the room only pausing to pull the oak door closed. I walked slowly over to the desk and sat down in one of the chairs in front of it.
"Have I done something?" I asked her, watching as she set down the data pad on her desk.
"Em, I've been noticing that the way you have been acting, is not your normal self." Vos said shaking her head.
"Changed how?" I said raising an eyebrow.
"Your moods have become drastically different since Vando. And in seeing this I want to start seeing Master D'sojo." She told me.
I looked at her in shock. She has got to be kidding me.
"You want me to see a Soul Healer?" I asked incredulously.
"Yes I do." Vos said, giving me the look.
"With all due respect, Vos, you have no authority over me. We are of the same rank. You can't order me to do anything." I reminded her.
Vos sighed and nodded. She looked tired. And I imagine that she was.
"You are right." She said, "I can't order you to do anything you do not want to. But I'm not ordering you do go, I'm asking as a concerned friend."
I pursed my lips. A concerned friend. Yeah right.
"Did the Council ask you to ask me?" I inquired of her.
"They want to know if you are ready to go back on missions. I told them that physically you were but mentally, well, that's not exactly my area of expertise now is it." Vos replied.
"So you want me to go see a soul healer. Vos, what were you thinking! I don't need some one exploring my inter initiate." I told her, shaking my head.
Vos sighed, "I know you don't, Em. But this is for the best. What would happen if you were on an assignment and something happened? The Council needs to knows that you are mentally stable."
"Mentally stable. Oh so now you are telling me that you think I'm not mentally stable?" I hissed at her.
Her weary brown eyes looked me over. She seemed to fade right then and there, but it was just a trick of the low light.
"I'm not saying that, Em. I'm asking you to. Please. I know that you're going stir crazy stick in side the Temple. This is for you're your own good," she said softly.
I sigh heavily. I know she is right. I really should go to see Master Masyind. He might be able to help. He had been through a lot, the entire Temple knew this. And most people would go to him for advice and this having to do with the outer- rim territories.
As these thought chased themselves aimlessly around in my head, I frowned.
"When's the appointment?" I ask, knowing that Vos had already scheduled it for me.
"Tomorrow at 1430." She said smiling at me, "I hope you don't have anything planed for then."
I scowled at her. And irritably pushed a strand of silvery blonde hair, which had found it's way out of my ponytail, out of my eyes.
"If that is all I have rounds to attend to." I said standing.
Vos nodded and waved me out.
I bowed briefly and turned to leave. As I left I head her whisper, "Thank you, Em."
Va was waiting for me at the reception desk a smile on her fair futures. Her purple eyes intent.
"So, what did you do?" she asked me.
I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. An odd question coming from an apprentice.
"If I had done something, do you think I would tell you? No." I said smiling, as I picked up the data pad on the corner of the desk.
My finger brushed the left lower corner of the serene and it flickered on. A list of patients that I was to see on my rounds.
"Well, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to start pestering me?" I asked the smiling 19 year old.
She laughed, and her purple eyes lit up. She shook her head. "I was thinking about it, but I decided against It." she said her grin widening.
I shook my head and turned to start off down the hall. There were patients waiting.
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I sat in one of the many uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room. The room was like that of the one just above here, in the main Med Center. I force my self to relax. It was nothing more then a regular mental checkup.
I smiled to my self as I thought how weird it was to sit in the waiting room. Most of the time I just walk right in the center with out hesitation.
The red haired Padawan at the front desk looked nervously out from behind the window. I pulled my shields tighter when I saw that. I turned to look at her and smiled. She blushed and looked away. Amelia. I think was her name. Amelia Wesson. But I could be wrong.
"Marcalo."
I grimaced slightly as he called my name. I stood and walked slowly to the open door. D'sojo Masyind was a jolly old chap. His blue eyes reflected nothing but kindness. A smile always ready. His wispy white hair was thinning.
"Master Masyind, it's a pleasure to see you." I greeted him with a slight bow.
"Little Em Sanchez. I still remember when you first came in here with your Master. Skinny little thing, and tall if I recall correctly." D'sojo said, his voice a rich baritone.
I blushed slightly at the statement. Yeah that visit here had not been pleasant. And my size had often been under debate by the masters. I could have sworn that they thought Master Venda hadn't been feeding me. Well he had and look how I turned out.
"Well don't just stand there." D'sojo said motioning me to follow him as he headed back down the hall.
I swallowed nervously, clinched my fist, and followed. The wall were painted white just like the ones one level up. The only thing that was different was the smell. It was missing that Bacta smell.
When I reached him he was holding the door open for me. I nodded my thanks and I walked past. He came in behind me and the door swung closed. I promptly settled my self on the edge of one of the chairs in front of his desk. He sat down behind it.
"You do know why you are here don't you?" he asked me. His blue eyes staring at me intently.
"You want to make sure that I am mentally stable to return to my full duties." I said sighing softly.
D'sojo nodded. "All I need to know is if feel you are ready to go back to work."
I opened my mouth to respond. To tell him that I was. But I stopped myself. For some unknown reason I couldn't find the words.
"I don't know." I said softly. But I do. Oh Force did I ever know. I never wanted to leave the Temple I just wanted to curl up in a little ball and die, but that would never work because soon or later Bant would come knocking at my door, well she would use a medical override, and she would find me.
As if sensing this D'sojo smiled. "You can talk to me, Em. Nothing you say leaves this room." he said gently.
I looked at him trough misted silvery blue eyes. I shook my head slowly. "There is nothing to say. I must work my feeling out on my own." I said slowly.
He nodded. "Tell me about you day." He requested.
I smirked slight. This was gonna be good. "I wake in the morning and usually do morning meditations."
"First thing?" he asked.
"Yes. Then I prepare for the day. Some times I eat breakfast with Bant in the cafeteria, sometimes I eat by my self. Then I usually head to the Med center."
"What time your rounds start?" D'sojo asked interrupting me.
"0900."
"What time-" he started.
"I usually get there at about 0830. To start the paper work for the day. Then I usually start my rounds."
I stopped as my comm. link beeped urgently. I grimaced at the sound.
D'sojo sighed. I looked up at him. He motioned that it was okay to answer.
"Sanchez." I said.
"Em, there's been an accident in the Housing district. Some are really hurt." Va sounded really stressed.
"Alright I'll be there as soon as I can." I told her calmly.
I looked back at D'sojo. He raised an eyebrow.
"Well are you going to go running out of my office or will I have to dismiss you?" he asked.
I smiled despite myself and stood to leave.
"We will continue this later." He said as I opened the door.
I turned back and nodded. "We will."
With that said I walked quickly out the door. I scurried down the hall to the lift. I hastily selected the Med Level and the lift slowly rose. I tapped my foot impatiently on the floor. Before the doors even had the chance to open completely I was off down the hall.
When I reached the front desk. Va was waiting for me. A grim expression on her face.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Someone detonated a bomb in the Dorm Housing Level." She said softly. Her purple eyes had a sick glint in them.
I stared at her in shock. That housing level was were the Initiates' rooms were. A bomb detonated in that level. I couldn't even begin to fathom
"How bad is it?" I questioned.
"We don't know. Several of the rooms collapsed. That whole wing is almost completely destroyed. There are still some missing." She paused. "Ashda is missing."
I drew my breath in sharply. Ashda Horner was the nine-year-old girl I had been watching. I had been thinking about taking her as my apprentice after I was return to full duty.
"They'll find her, Em. I know they will." Va said placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "But now we need you here."
"Right." I said, "Of course. Let's get to work."
Va nodded and as we walked down the hall she explained the situation. All I could think of was the little bright green-eyed girl from Methelila.
Gray. The fine line that separates our best from our worst. That is where we find ourselves every day. In-between what we have been and what we could be. The same place that we are the happiest.
A/N this is the next chapter. Oh and I hope you don't mind me changing the title, but I decided to turn this into a regular story rather then a one-short.