A/N: First off, I'd like to say thanks to my three favorite loyal readers: Ara, Goddess of the Broken, ZombieToGo, and ScbyDoo489. The three of you are why I'll never let the not-so-nice comments of others get to me. You like my stuff the way it is, so that's how it will stay.
To the people at GAFF, I express my disappointment. Your comments are losing their bite. Here I am, writing a delightful fic that I—and quite a few others—enjoy immensely, and you're letting your barbs dull. Well, I suppose I'll just have to try harder.
I have a title! I'm excitable, what can I say?
Ch. 11 Ruminations
London, England
1 week later
Angela was slowly pacing around her hospital room. She was restless and it had been getting worse. She couldn't sleep, and when she did sleep, her thoughts went immediately to House. He was the one crazy thing in her crazy world that always made sense. But during the past week, she'd started to understand just how right Lily had been. She was starting to realize that while at first she had needed House to feel right, now she just wanted him to love her, the way she had always wanted to be loved: wholly and completely.
Sitting on the bed, Angela knew that she needed to apologize to Lily. Unfortunately, her pride was still preventing her from saying anything.
Remus could see the strain in Angela's eyes when he went to see her that night. When he walked into the room, she was sitting on the bed reading a file. Her face showed the quiet intensity that had been something of a trademark with her at Hogwarts. He leaned against the wall, not saying anything. Angela turned the pages, still quietly reading. After another few minutes, Angela spoke, still not looking up.
"It's okay, Remus. What do you want?" Remus stepped closer. "What are you reading?"
"Oh, the, uh… the results of the audition I was supervising about two weeks ago. The company faxed them over this morning. I just have to take care of a few things and then fax the papers back over." Remus just watched her as she scribbled notes and signed on various lines. Her nails were chewed down, and her fingers were fidgety. Remus sighed. The signs of intense stress were more than apparent. "So was the New Jersey trip voluntary or forced?"
"Forced, why?" Remus sighed again, making Angela look at him briefly before returning to the paperwork. "It was a forced vacation. Didn't have much choice. It was either a paid vacation or an unpaid trip. I needed the money." Remus sat on the bed, making Angela look up with mild irritation.
"Do you mind? I actually have to work." Remus pulled the file away, making Angela's eyes blaze with annoyance. "What do you want!" Remus held his gaze. "What do you mean you needed the money? Angela, you're the wealthiest witch in England." Angela sighed and her body slumped. "No, I'm not." She rubbed a hand across her tired face. "After I fled England… the Ministry of Magic froze all my accounts. I had very little money on me, and I had to get a job. I worked a few bad jobs before landing my position at Angelic Acting Associates. All the money I have I've earned."
Remus just stared at her. He couldn't believe this. Though it partially explained why Angela seemed so stressed. "So you're… not rich?"
"Well off, but no. I'm not exactly rolling in money these days. Even my loft apartment was a gift from my CEO. He gave it to me after I had to have him drop me off at the sleazy dump I used to live in." Remus still had a look of disbelief on his face. Angela had been wealthy, now she actually had to work for her money. It seemed that the shining angel of Hogwarts had all but completely lost her wings.
"So even though you had surgery and everything… you still have to work?"
"Yeah," Angela said, taking the file back and getting back to the page she had left off on. "I have to work, because otherwise I have no money." Remus got up.
"Look, I just wanted to say that I think you should make peace with Lily. She's really been down lately."
"Yeah, well, I've been worse. This is her doing." Remus fought the urge to hit Angela. Why was she being so stubborn?
"Lily only sent Dr. House away so the two of you could deal with your problems."
"We didn't HAVE problems till Lily started butting in. Now, I'm doing better with therapy and all. I'm sleeping… and Lily still hasn't called to tell Greg to come back."
"It's because Lily's afraid of you. You've basically been telling her 'buzz off' whenever the two of you are in the same room." Angela's mood suddenly turned frosty. "Well, if Lily wants me to be more cheerful, she knows what to do. Now, if you don't mind, I have to work." Remus rolled his eyes and headed out the door. Angela kept working, though she didn't really look at the pages. She had done this kind of paperwork before, it wasn't all that complicated. And it gave her time to think. If she apologized, maybe Lily would let House come home. On the other hand, maybe Lily would make him stay in LA. So basically it was 'damned if you do, damned if you don't'. Using that as her rationale, Angela decided to continue her silent anger campaign against Lily.
Los Angeles, California
Sirius could not believe what he was about to do. He'd never sang before in his life. But here he was, standing on the stage in Caritas, mike in his hand, and brain screaming in protest. But he had to know if he was really over Angela, and perhaps who he was really destined for. Taking a deep breath, Sirius began to sing.
Just a small town girl in the city lights
The best was yet to come
Then lonely days turned to endless nights
The best was yet to come
How were you to know
That you would be the lucky one
Ain't it funny how time flies
When the best is yet to come
Lorne watched Sirius. Oooh, this guy had Problems. First was the fire still burning for Angela, and then there was the slight dark cloud of his family, plus what he had done to Angela. And that was the only sunny spot in Sirius's dark aura. The guy needed her to feel like he was worth something. And that was no way to maintain a lasting relationship whether it was romantic or a friendship.
You can cry yourself to sleep at night
You can't change the things you've done
You had it there then it slipped away
Yeah you left the song unsung
Even through your tears
I never saw you come undone
What's so good about goodbye
When the best was yet to come
Sirius had to admit it; he still loved Angela. He knew it, and he also knew that some part of him would always love her. But Angela had House, and he, Sirius, had no one. And he hated it. He hated being lonely. But more than that… he hated what he had done to Angela. He'd hurt her emotionally, physically, and probably psychologically as well. But it had been strange seeing her that morning after she and Lily had talked. Angela seemed to breaking down. In all the tears and tantrums Angela had had before, Sirius had never seen her break down like that.
I find myself thinking about yesterday
When you were here, living in a dream
In the moment that it takes
You find you've made your first mistake
Like the setting sun, you turn around it's gone
Just a small town girl who had it made
Or so the story goes
She had it here and it slipped away
Oh, how was she to know
Even through your tears
I never saw you come undone
What's so good about goodbye
When the best was yet to come
Sirius finished up and went over to Lorne. The demon regarded him for a moment then said, "You need help."
Sirius sighed. "I know."
"You also need to move on."
"So everyone keeps telling me."
"And you also want to screw around with Cordelia."
"Oh, hell, yeah," Sirius said without thinking. He realized what he said and tried to backtrack. "No, I mean- I don't want to…" Sirius's shoulders slumped in defeat. "It's that obvious?" Lorne smiled at Sirius in a reassuring way.
"The fact that I'm a green demon is less noticeable. Listen, kid, settle down with Cordelia. Or find some other little peach muffin, but you have to let go of Angela. You've lost that battle."
"Yeah," Sirius muttered, morosely. "I know."
'Happy' was not a word in House's vocabulary. Fred had told him that Sirius had gone to Caritas, possibly for advice, but House had a sneaking suspicion that Sirius wanted to know the odds of getting Angela back. House continued slowly pacing the lobby until the main doors of the Hyperion Hotel opened and Sirius Black entered. The wizard froze for a moment before smiling casually.
"Where have you been?" House asked, quickly. He wasn't fooled by Sirius's innocent act for a minute.
"I was just out for a walk," Sirius replied, not meeting the doctor's eyes.
"I don't believe you."
"Yeah, well, that's your problem," Sirius grumbled as he started to head to the stairs. House stopped him by saying, "No, my problem is that you're still coveting my fiancée."
"What did you say?" Sirius asked, as he turned around and faced House.
"You heard me. My problem is that you're still after Angela, despite the fact she's told you repeatedly that she wants nothing more to do with you." Sirius headed slowly down the steps, and House came closer, saying, "Leave Angela alone. She's made her choice."
Sirius wasn't about to stand down. Angela may have chosen, but Sirius wasn't about to just give in without a fight. "And what if I don't leave Angela alone? What are you going to do about it?"
"Then I'm going to have to get rough."
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "I'd like to see you try."
House was quiet, but he was tensing for Sirius's attack. "Be my guest." House's expectations proved correct. Sirius swung a fist, but House managed to dodge with a surprising nimbleness. Sirius recovered and tried again. But House again dodged, and managed to whack Sirius in the shoulder with his cane.
Sirius wasn't impressed. "Lucky shot." But before Sirius could try another shot, House caught him in the jaw with a solid punch. House let Sirius stagger for a brief moment before hitting with the cane again, this time across the front of knee, slightly bending Sirius's knee backwards. Sirius went down, and after a minute, he said. "Cheating. Nice. I suppose that's how you got Angela as well?"
House abandoned all pretenses and lunged at Sirius, hitting every inch of him he could reach. The shouts caught the attention of Cordelia and Wilson. Wilson rushed forward and pulled House off of Sirius. "House, calm down. What's gotten into you?" House didn't say anything, preferring to continue glaring at Sirius. Wilson didn't bother to repeat the question; instead, he grabbed House's cane, and the two men headed to the elevator.
Cordelia, meanwhile, offered her hand to Sirius who took it and pulled himself up. "Come on," Cordelia said, leading Sirius up the stairs. "Let's get you cleaned up."
"I'm okay."
Cordelia's eyebrows lifted. "Have you seen yourself? You're all bloody. Come on." Upstairs in Cordelia's room, Sirius threw himself onto the bed. His face and knee ached, and he could feel bruises developing on his shoulder and side. Cordelia went into her bathroom and came out holding a large first aid kit. "Take off your shirt and pants."
Sirius's head snapped up, aggravating his injuries. Cordelia just looked at him, waiting. Sirius slowly got up and took off his shirt and pants, and lay back on several pillows that Cordelia had propped up. Then, she slowly and tenderly started to treat Sirius's injuries.
"So why did you rile Dr. House? You had to know he'd go after you."
"I don't know. It was stupid."
Cordelia sighed. "Can I offer you some advice?"
"If it's 'get over Angela' you're playing a broken record."
"Actually," Cordelia said as she started wrapping Sirius's knee. "My advice is to find someone else. I'd never tell you to get over her. I never got over the first guy I really loved."
"What was his name?" Sirius asked. His injuries felt better and he wanted Cordelia to keep talking. He loved the sound of her voice. Cordelia packed up the kit as she spoke. "Xander Harris. He was the first guy to love me for me. All of the other guys I dated in high school went out with me just because I was one of the most popular girls in school."
"That was part of the reason I dated Angela. She didn't mind my family, and that was comforting. But I didn't deserve her. I thought of her as a trophy. A way to prove that I was a good guy."
Cordelia sat on the edge of the bed. "You are a good guy. I mean, yeah, you've made mistakes… but so what? So does everyone. You learn, and then move on." Sirius closed his eyes. He so wanted this woman. Opening his eyes, Sirius pulled Cordelia close and kissed her. After a moment, Cordelia asked, "What are you doing?"
"Probably making a mistake." Cordelia hesitated for about two seconds before kissing him back.
"What is wrong with you?" Wilson asked as soon as the two were in House's room. "That's the second time I've had to pull you off of Sirius."
"Yes, I'm fully aware of that. I was trying to make a point." Wilson, however, wasn't about to be dissuaded. "You've assaulted him twice!"
House gave a smirk. "Yes, but I promise I'll never do it again," House said, his eyes glinting. Wilson rolled his eyes and sat down in the chair in the corner.
"Sure you will if he irritates you enough."
"Absolutely. All the more reason this part of the conversation is entirely pointless." Wilson sighed. "Does anything anyone tells you actually register? Or is your head just a brick wall?" House sat down on the bed. He didn't want to get into this right now. He wanted to take a vicodin and then lie down and think about Angela.
"Sarcasm doesn't become you, Wilson."
"Oh, I'm being sarcastic? When every other word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain?"
"I'm just lonely."
Wilson leaned forward. "I know that you hate being away from Angela, but you have to learn to deal with your problems. You need to deal with your addiction, and I don't think being with Angela right now is going to help with that. You have problems and-"
House cut him off by saying, "If I wanted a self analysis, I'd talk to Angela. But I'm talking to you. I know I shouldn't have attacked Sirius. But he did hurt Angela." Wilson looked incredulous. House was trying to justify beating up Sirius? As much as Wilson supported House, this was one point he couldn't concede. "You shouldn't have assaulted him."
House glared at his friend. "Yes, we've established that fact. Now let's move on. Why are you here? I know why I'm here… it's because Angela's friend, Lily Potter, is the devil incarnate." Wilson started to look fidgety; a very good sign that what he had to say was not good news.
"If I tell you something you really don't want to hear, do you promise not to kill me?"
Oh, now didn't that sound ominous? House couldn't imagine what Wilson could say that would bring about homicidal tendencies, but he decided to find out. "Go on."
Wilson sighed before saying, "Lily was hoping that I could get you over to a pain management center here. Apparently, it combines… normal and…magical methods."
House said nothing for a moment, as he processed this news. Finally, he said, "What are you? Lily Potter's personal minion of darkness?"
"I was trying to help! I thought it was a good idea! I mean, maybe if the usual avenues don't work, then perhaps a little… mystical interference would. For once in your stubborn, miserable life, would you let people help you?"
"So you were helping me when you convinced Cuddy to give me time off from the clinic in exchange for me going off the vicodin?" Wilson froze. How the blinking bloody hell did House find out about that? Wilson hadn't told anyone, and he was pretty sure that Cuddy hadn't either. House stood up and started towards the door.
"House, wait. It was Cuddy's idea. I just-" House turned around.
"Just what? Gave her reason? Hoped that your little scheme would get me to be human or go all warm and fuzzy with my patients?"
"House, if you ever started acting really warm and fuzzy to your patients… I'd put you down like a rabid bear. I didn't want you to soften up. I just wanted you to stop being such a prick. Look, will you at least consider it? And who knows? Maybe if you do, then Lily will let you go back to Angela."
"The two of you have been in cahoots since you met. Are you sleeping with her?"
"No! She's worried about Angela, and I'm worried about you. What is wrong with you? The past 5 years you've really been a jerk, but…"
"I'm sorry." House said it so quietly, that Wilson almost didn't hear it. "What did you just…?"
"I said," House repeated, looking Wilson in the eye. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm being such a jerk."
"Well, I'm glad you're able to apologize," Wilson said, hesitantly. "But I'm afraid that doesn't get you off the hook. House, why are you being so resistant if Angela is that important to you? Or are you using this as an excuse? What do you want? You want to be alone and miserable, or do you want to keep the woman you love?" House was quiet for a long time before saying, "I want Angela."
London, England
Harry Potter had faced numerous challenges in his 5 years at Hogwarts, but this was the one that really filled him with trepidation. Holding the long, thin, neatly wrapped package in his arms, he headed down to Angela's room. Harry had been discharged the day before, but from his parents' reactions, he figured he'd give Angela a bit of time before he tried to smooth things over. Angela was sitting in bed, reading a muggle novel when Harry opened the door.
"Mind if I come in?"
Angela set the book aside. "Sure. Come on in. What's the package?" Harry grinned as he handed the box over.
"Well, Lupin told me it was in your old family vault. He was able to retrieve it a few days ago. Also, Dumbledore convinced the ministry and Gringotts to re-open your other accounts."
Angela beamed. "Excellent! That is very good news indeed." She unwrapped the box and opened it. Her face took on a pleasantly bemused expression. "Well, this isn't what I expected. But it is beautiful, isn't it?" The cane Angela held was solid maple, and the top was the head of a phoenix, with the body winding around and down. Angela swung her leg over the side of the bed, and Harry looked down at her legs. Her prosthetic leg ended about 16 inches above the ankle, as far as Harry could tell by comparing to the right leg. Angela stood up and did a little walk around the room. She didn't need to lean much, but it did help to take some of the pressure off of her left leg which made it hurt a bit less.
"Thanks, Harry," she said, grinning at her godson. "Now what do you want?" Harry grinned back. He knew he couldn't completely fool Angela, so he said, "Well, it's about you and Mum…"
"Ahhh. I see. You did this to try to get me to talk to Lily?"
"Something like that. She needs to talk to you." Angela sighed and sat back down on the bed. "Grab my socks and shoes, will you?" Harry complied, and 10 minutes later, Angela stood up again. "Okay, Prongslet. Let's go talk to your mother." Harry beamed and went to the door. Angela limped behind him, though Harry noticed that she still had a fairly graceful, loping gait. Harry led the way to the downstairs lounge where Lily, Remus and James were sitting and talking. Lily saw Angela and stood up.
"Angela. Can we talk?"
"What do you think I'm doing here?"
Lily nodded. "Right. So how are you? Remus said that you've been sleeping better."
"Not badly, anyway. I'm still a little restless."
Lily nodded again. "Well, I just wanted to say that Dr. Wilson called earlier. We talked, and he and Dr. House are coming back in a little over a week. I also want to say that I'm sorry for putting you through all this. But there really wasn't any other way. Do you… forgive me?"
Angela's face was stony for a moment, before her mouth tweaked in a smile. "Only if you forgive me for being so bitchy," she said, calmly. "You're not off the hook, for this, though. I still can't believe you'd split Greg and me up, but I'll forgive you for now."
"I'll take it," Lily said, smiling. "Well, now that we're talking again, let's talk wedding plans, shall we?"