Disclaimer - Mr Anderson is letting me borrow them, or at least he would if he knew we were playing in his sandbox... Here's the last re-write and re-formatted of this story.... hope you've enjoyed re-reading it as much as I've enjoyed re-writing it. AM Feb 2010

A Brother's Bond – Epilogue

by Angel Mouse

Tracy Island – two weeks later after their return home

Jeff frowned as he stared at the reports he wasn't really even seeing. It had been a couple of weeks since the boys had returned home and things had been slowly getting back to normal. Alan had returned to Thunderbird Five and they had begun doing rescue's again. Brains or Tin-Tin had gone out on the couple of the rescues that they had done to run mobile control while Virgil and Gordon did the actually rescues. Luckily they hadn't been too bad and had been able to be handled by just the two of them. Scott was almost completely healed, and in a few days would be able to go out on rescues again. But only to light duties, but it would ease the pressure on Virgil and Gordon. But that's not what was bothering Jeff.

John wasn't getting better.

He was healing fine physically, that wasn't a problem. But emotionally he wasn't healing as fast as Scott seemed to have. Scott had been talking to a counsellor and had found that helpful, but John refused. John was an intensely private person and didn't share much with anyone, except for Scott, and what ever they talked about it stayed between the two of them. John was looking a lot better and he was occasionally up to doing bits and pieces around the house, even managing to help Gordon was some general maintenance on the Thunderbirds.

Scott usually helped Virgil, the two brothers bonding like they normally did over work. Scott and Virgil had always been close, which was a given really considering how close they worked on rescues. Virgil had been helping Scott deal with his nightmares as well. But it was John that needed the most help. All the brothers had been helping each other cope with what had happened to the two eldest.

Jeff sighed, not sure what to do about John. At the end of next week Alan was due to come home and John was due to go back to the station. Jeff didn't want to send him up there unless he was mentally and emotional able to cope with the isolation of the station. He looked up as there was a knock on the door.

"You busy Dad?" Jeff smiled and gestured for Scott to come in.

"No, please come in Scott. Save me from this paperwork that I can't seem to concentrate on." Scott laughed and came in, shutting the door behind him and sat down in front of his father. Jeff raised an eyebrow at the shut door and looked at his eldest. "What's up Scott?" Scott sighed, running a hand through his hair. He had finally been allowed to remove the bandages on his wrist and his physical therapy was going well.

"It's about John Dad." Jeff sighed, somehow knowing that Scott would have brought that up.

"I thought as much. He's not doing so well is he Scott?" Scott shook his head.

"No Dad he's not. His nightmares aren't going away, as much as I try to help him, he doesn't seem to be putting things behind him. Last time it took a few days but he began to put things behind him. But this time it's not happening."

"Do you know why Scott?" Scott shook his head.

"No Dad and its got me worried. Some nights he goes almost all night without a nightmare but then it'll come back to him. And then other nights he spends all night tossing and turning." Scott sighed. "I'm not sure how much longer I can keep going Dad. I mean, I love him, and I'll always be here for him. But I'm not getting much sleep myself and I'm having trouble myself. Some nights he helps me more than I help him. I'm at a bit of a loss what to do Dad."

Jeff sighed, rubbing his eyes. He had noticed Scott looking tired lately, like John was. Scott was doing better of the two. But he was at a loss how to help his quietest son.

"So am I Scott. We can't force him to talk to someone like you have done. That's helped you, but this is John we're talking about. He's always been a private person and something like this isn't easy to cope with. You should know that better than anyone Scott. We'll just have to give him time I think. That's all we can do." Scott leaned back in his chair.

"I know Dad. But what about next week, he's supposed to go back to work then? Do you think he'll be able to cope?" Jeff looked at Scott. Scott was International Rescue's field commander and knew everyone's strengths and weakness's very well. If he said someone wasn't up to something or some part of a rescue, then he was usually right.

"What do you think Scott?" Scott was silent a long moment and then looked his father in the eye, his tone strong and sure.

"I think he will be, but only if I go with him for a few days. The isolation of Thunderbird Five should hopefully give us what we need, which is time away from everyone here. I think because everyone here has been basically watching the pair of us like a hawk, he's feeling pressured to put this behind him. And I don't think that it's helping either of us really." Jeff looked at Scott, surprised by his son's insight. He thought a moment and then nodded.

"Alright, I'll talk to him about it." Scott smiled as he stood.

"Thanks Dad." Jeff nodded and watched as Scott left. He sighed as he leaned back. Now, he only had to talk to John about Scott's request. And he wasn't sure how his son would take it. John had never been one for being looked after.

John walked down to the pool, sitting down by its edge. He grinned as he watched Gordon and Virgil have a very energetic game of water polo. Moments later Scott joined him, exchanging grins with his brother. John gestured with his free hand; he still had to wear a sling for another five days, to the fighting brothers.

"Want to lay money on who wins?" Scott laughed and shook his head.

"Nope, I'm not silly. Gordon will win every time." They shared a grin and relaxed as they watched their two younger brothers play. John shook his head.

"I have no idea where they get the energy from. I swear Gordon must be on something to be that hyper." Scott laughed and then watched John out of the corner of his eye. John had a tiny smile on his face but was leaning back in the chair, tilting his face to the sun. Scott sighed, wondering what to do about John. His brother needed his help and he had no idea how to give it to him more than he had been. Scott sighed softly and suddenly realised John was looking at him. John gave him a tiny smile.

"It's okay Scott, I'll be okay. We both will be. We survived, we've got each other. We're home. We'll both be okay." Scott nodded.

"Yeah, we will be John. We will be." The two brothers shared a fond smile, but Scott was concerned to see hidden pain in his brother's eyes. It was a long road ahead for the both of them. But somehow they would get through it.

Later that night

Scott shot up with a yell to find John sitting on the bed next to him, shaking him gently with one hand. Scott had been having a nightmare, one where John had been beaten so badly he was dying in his arms. He was sweating heavily and breathing hard.

"Scott, are you okay?" Scott ran a hand through his hair and looked at John. John's eyes were worried and scared looking.

"I'm not sure." John shifted slightly on the bed, studying him a moment.

"You were yelling for me in your sleep." Scott nodded, moving slightly up the bed and leaning against the wall, his breathing slowing down. He nodded and then looked at John.

"I'm not surprised. I was dreaming about you." John thought as much and moved up the bed and sat next to him. Scott leaned on his shoulder unconsciously and John then spoke softly.

"What happened?" It took a few moments before Scott answered. He had to swallow against the lump in his throat a few times before he could speak. Finally he did and his words were soft.

"They had beaten you so badly that you wouldn't stop bleeding, you were bleeding so badly that you were dying. I was holding you in my arms but I couldn't save you." Scott's voice broke up. "I couldn't save you." John winced as he managed to put his arm around Scott's shoulder, holding him close. Tears were flowing down's Scott's face and John reached over with his bandaged wrist to wipe them from his oldest brother's face. After a moment Scott took a deep breath, the tears slowly stopping. John gave him a gentle smile and spoke softly. It was time to tell Scott what he'd been holding back. His brother needed to hear it so he could heal. And perhaps John needed to tell it so he could heal as well.

"But you did save me Scott. You saved me in more ways than you can know. I only held on because of you." John sighed and continued. It was high time he told Scott the bit that he had held back ever since they had been rescued. Scott looked over at his younger brother, wondering what John meant by that.

"What do you mean John? Held on because of me?" John sighed, looking away from Scott's blue eyes. He wasn't sure how his brother was going to react to what he was about to say. "John?" Scott was becoming worried; John never held anything back from him when he was troubled. And they both had been really troubled lately realistically. John gave a sigh but still refused to meet Scott's eyes.

"I'm hesitant to say Scott. I, I don't want you to hate me." Scott turned on the bed slightly to face John and turned his brother to face him, looking him in his eyes.

"John, I could never, ever hate you. No matter what you say or do. You're my brother and I love you, no matter what." Tears began to form in John's eyes but he didn't look away. The love and faith Scott had in him gave him the strength to continue.

John had been hiding this from Scott, from everyone, including himself really. But it was high time he got this out in the open and cleared the air between the two brothers. They needed to get past this, and get past it soon. John knew that he wouldn't really be able to cope with duty next week on Thunderbird Five if he didn't get past this. It was tearing his soul apart to think that he felt he was weak like he was and that his brother's would hate him for what he almost did. But Scott had faith in him. Scott had always been there for him and always would be. John just had to take the chance that what he had to say wouldn't make his brother hate him. He just had to hope Scott would forgive him, because right now he couldn't forgive himself. Suddenly he was brought out of his thoughts by Scott gently shaking him.

"John are you in there little brother? You kind of zoned there for a minute." John managed a tiny little smile for Scott.

"Yeah, I was just thinking is all Scott. I'm okay." Scott gave a slight chuckle.

"You're always thinking John, sometimes I think that's half your problem. Now, come on, what did you want to tell me." John sighed and then spoke softly.

"You saved me back there Scott. Not only by being there for me, but being with me. I think if I had been there by myself, I would have broken. I would have told them everything." John found himself unable to meet Scott's eyes. "In fact as it was, I was ready to tell them everything, everything and anything I could to get them to stop hurting you. But then we were rescued and I didn't. I tried Scott; I tried so hard to hold out for as long as I did. But I couldn't take it any more. It was tearing me in two to see them hurting you." John's words were soft and while he was speaking Scott reached up and raised John's head up so that his eyes meet his. John was surprised to see understanding and love in his brother's eyes. No hate or disgust like he was expecting.

"I was the same Johnny. I only held on because of you. I knew I had to watch out for you and make sure that you were going to be okay. I was ready to tell them everything as well, as it was killing me to see you hurting so much. But I knew it would be okay, as long as we were together. No matter what happened, what we may or may not have told them in the long run, we were together and that's all that mattered John. And that's all that matters now." Scott's eyes were so full of love, understanding and trust that John believed his every word. "All that matters right here and now is that you and I are here, together, safe and sound and in one piece." Scott smiled gently as he reached up and gently rested his hand against John's cheek. "I love you John, I could never, ever hate you."

John took in his brother's words, thinking about them and realising that Scott was right. Scott admitting that he was feeling the same way helped him in more ways than he could think. Finally, John understood that things were hard but they were going to be okay. He was with his family, he was safe and he was loved. And his brother didn't hate him for admitting that he almost betrayed them all. John suddenly felt all the pain, all the sorrow, all the fear he had been feeling and trying to suppress and deal with suddenly unravel the knot that had been in his stomach constantly for the last month. Things were going to turn out okay. Suddenly, John burst into tears, pulling Scott into a huge hug, tears pouring out of him. Soon, Scott had joined him as they both cried for their pain, their suffering and the horror they had gone through. They sat there together on Scott's bed, holding each other for the longest time. Finally, they had both over come that last hurdle to begin their healing in earnest.

Two weeks later

Scott looked up from where he was reading the latest aviation magazine when Gordon and Alan came into the study with the mail delivery. Virgil was playing the piano and his father was sitting behind his desk dictating some letters to Tin-Tin for Tracy Enterprises. Alan was lugging a box and Gordon had the rest of the mail.

"Here you go Dad, bunch of letters for you from the office." Jeff took them.

"Thanks Gordon. Anything else in the mail?" Alan deposited the box down on the coffee table in front of Scott as he answered his father.

"Just a couple of bits and pieces for us and Grandma. And John's got this big box." Scott put his magazine down and looked up in interest.

"Who's it from?" Alan sat down in front of it and examined it.

"Looks like some publishing firm." Scott leaned forward and grinned, recalling a conversation that John and he had had before he had left.

"It's finally here! Dad, call John! We have to tell him that they've arrived." Jeff looked at Scott, wondering what he was talking about and then it registered and he smiled.

"Ah, his latest book is finally done. Well, open it up Scott and I'll call him. I think this once we can ignore protocol regarding personal calls." Jeff threw a glance at his four sons and gave a sly smile. "Not that it matters to any of you at 3 in the morning when you want to chat to him." Jeff pressed the button to call Thunderbird Five, ignoring the stunned looks his sons gave him.

John's face appeared after a moment and he smiled gently at his family. It was nice to see them all in the same room when it wasn't an emergency.

"Hey Dad, what's up?" Jeff gestured to where Scott and Alan were sitting, undoing the box that had been delivered. Gordon joined them a few moments later and Virgil stopped playing, wandering over and leaning against the back of the couch and watched the other two over Gordon's shoulder.

"Looks like your book have arrived. Scott said you'd like to know." John raised an eyebrow and blushed slightly.

"Ah yes, that's great. Thanks Scott." Scott looked up and grinned at his brother. Ever since that night in his room, both he and John had been doing a lot better.

"Not a problem Johnny." Scott finished opening the box and looked up at John.

"John, how come there's five copies of the same book in here?" John blushed even harder and nodded. Given John's fair skin it the blush was really noticeable.

"Good, there's meant to be. One of each of you guys and one for Dad." John ducked his head and looked at them from beneath white blonde bangs, his innate shyness coming through for a moment. "I asked my publishers to do a special print run of those five for me. As a present for each of you. So, you'll find your names on the outside of each wrapped book. I hope you like what I've done. I'll talk to you all later. Thunderbird Five out." John reached out and closed the channel, much to the amazement of his family. Stunned silence reigned for a moment and then Gordon laughed as he reached over into the box and began to take the books out.

"That's our Johnny. Always likes to make a dramatic exit." That broke the tension and they all laughed. Gordon handed the books to all his brothers and then went over to Jeff and handed him his copy. Alan reached into the box and got out a note.

"Hey, there's a note as well from him."

"Open it son." Alan opened it and began to read it aloud.

"Hi everyone. Here's my latest work, I hope you all enjoy it, well, looking at the pictures anyways. In this box you'll each find a personalised copy of my book. It's something I've meant to do for a long while but given what's happened to me in my life lately, stuff I wouldn't have gotten through without your love and support, it seemed like the right time to do this. So this is my way of saying thank you.

Love John."

Alan finished reading, blinking back the tears hard. He looked up to find each of his brothers looking the same. Silence fell for a moment and then Gordon grabbed his book.
"I'm going down to the beach to read mine." He left and that seemed to galvanise the brothers. Virgil stood up from where he had been leaning against the couch and headed out.

"I'm going to the pool." He left and Alan stared at the book in his hand. Scott looked at him, his expression concerned.

"Alan?" Alan looked up and nodded at Scott.

"I'm okay. I'm going to go to my room okay? I think this is something that I'm going to need to read in private." He got up and left the lounge. Moments later Tin-Tin quietly left just leaving Scott and his father in the room. Scott turned the book over and over in his hand, wondering at what his brother had done. He got to his feet and with a nod to his father, headed out and down into the garden, he wanted to see what his brother had written to him.

Jeff took the plastic covering off his book and examined it carefully. It was bound in burgundy leather and had just a simple title on the front written in gold leaf. He smiled as he opened it and looked at the dedication that was printed inside it. A tear formed in the corner of his eye as he read what his gentle, quiet second son had written for him.

Dad,

You've always been such a pillar of strength, honour and integrity in my life and I always have loved and respected you for that. You have this all encompassing belief and faith in all of us that keeps us all going, especially in the tough times. Thank you for everything Dad.

John.

Jeff wiped his eyes and closed the book. He would examine the photos and John's theories and dissertations later, he always had enjoyed reading John's work. His eyes went over to his son's portrait and he felt immense pride at what John had accomplished in his life. Especially this past year that had been a trying one on them all.

"I love you John." He whispered softly to his son's picture. He promised himself then when John was home from his tour; he would take his son aside and tell him exactly how proud of him he was.

Alan shut the door behind him and went over to his bed. He lay on it and began to open the book. His copy was bound in light blue leather and with gold writing on it. He cast aside the wrapping and opened it to the dedication page.

Alan aka the Speedster,

I just wanted you to know, knowing that you were there, looking out for me, for both of us, gave me strength and hope. I knew I was in no better hands than yours and I wanted to let you know I love you.

John.

Alan wiped the tears from his eyes, not realising how much his big brother thought of him, even as he had to smile at John's gentle teasing. He never knew that while Scott and John were taken from them, how much his actions had meant to John. He knew that it would never be something that he could ever really relate to John what his words meant to him. Alan resolved to make sure that when they switched back over he would relay his feelings to John.

Virgil sat down in the chair by the pool and leaned back, putting his feet up as he began to un-wrap his copy of John's book. His particular copy was bound in dark brown leather and the gold embossed writing on the front of elegant yet tasteful, just like John. Virgil smiled as he opened it and went to the dedication page.

Virgil aka Artist boy,

You've always been such a joy and inspiration to be around that you've given me hours and hours of pleasure listening to you play or watching you paint. Your gentle spirit and strong heart are always there to soothe a troubled soul when it's needed. Always know that I love you.

John.

Virgil wiped his eyes with his free hand. John was always so private yet so willing to be there for his brothers in more ways than one. Virgil smiled as his mind went back to the hours he had spent playing and recording music for his brother to listen to on the station. When John came home Virgil vowed to make sure he had some more ready and waiting for him.

Gordon sat down on the gentle golden sand of his favourite stretch of beach. When he had some thinking to do, or wanted to go over a rescue that hadn't been easy, this was where he retreated to, to be alone. He watched the waves for a long moment and then looked down at the wrapped book in his hand. He undid the wrapping and examined the soft light blue leather and gold writing before opening the book. A grin appeared on his face as his eyes alighted on the dedication.

Gordon aka the Fish

You've never failed to make me laugh when I've been feeling down and I love nothing more to see the guy's faces when you've pulled a prank on one of them. The late night chats we have mean more than you can ever know, so I thank you for that. I love you my little fish.

John.

Gordon blinked back the tears that were forming. He knew that the nights he spent chatting to his brother at any and all hours of the morning meant a lot to John. But he never knew how much until now. Gordon looked up into the sky, his eyes instinctively searching out Thunderbird Five's position. He smiled and impulsively waved at it.

"Hey Johnny, you really know how to pull the heart strings, don't you." Gordon sighed and smiled. John seemed to know exactly what to say to his family.

Scott was the last brother to open his book. He went to the small part of the garden that over looked the house. Some times John would come out here to watch the stars when he was home and Scott felt close to his brother here. He went over to the bench and sat down, looking down at the parcel in his hand. He undid the wrapping and looked at the leather bound volume. It was beautiful dark blue leather with gold embossed writing on the front of it. He smiled, John certainly had good taste. He opened it and his eyes went to the dedication by his brother.

Scott aka Flyboy,

What can I say to my big brother that's always been there for me? Ever since we were little, where ever I turned, there you were, helping me, picking me up, showing me the way. Our lives have never been easy Scott, but you've shown the way. And I know that sometimes that it weighs heavily on your soul and spirit, always having to lead the way and be there for us all Scott, but I couldn't think of any other person better suited to keep us all on the ground, even though you're always up in the air. Thank you for being my big brother. I love you.

John.

Scott blinked back the tears that had formed in his eyes. John had such a gentle soul that sometimes his brother's tended to think that he was always going to be there for them all. And this past year had brought home to the entire Tracy clan that John wasn't going to always be there for them, and that they did tend to take him for granted sometimes. Scott's eyes rose to the sky and sought out Thunderbird Five's position. He smiled at his brother's position and knew that later on tonight he would have to talk to his brother.

"I love you to John." Scott grinned suddenly. "And I'm going to get you back for that flyboy remark."

The End.