A Yu-Gi-Oh! Fanfiction by SpookyChild
Author's Notes:
Hello, thank you for ordering "Malik's Night In" on the Pay-Per-Read channel. Here is an exclusive preview for your reading pleasure.
(The screen turns black and a deep narrators voice begins to speak.)
If you had just one chance… one chance to have a quiet, peaceful night… would you take it?
"Dang it, they're out of 'Jerry Springer: Uncut'. Now we can't watch the lesbian gypsy midgets fight over who gets to have sex with their sister."
And if there were obstacles in your way, could you conquer them?
"I NEED THE PRUNES!"
Starring, Malik Ishtar…"Okay, we need chips. GET CHIPS!"
And Yami Malik…"…I like Andrew too."
Coming to a website near you on, well, whatever day this chapter is posted…
MALIK'S NIGHT IN.
"Jigga WHAT!"
This fall, piñatas are gonna have a little more sex appeal.
…Jeez, what the hell was I thinking?
Disclaimer: God… I hate myself.
The Second Chapter in a Story of Many Chapters!
That means chapter two.
"GETTIN' JIGGY WITH IT! NA NA NA NA NANANA! NA NA NA NA NANA! GETTIN' JIGGY WITH IT! NA NA NA NA NANANA! NA NA NA NA NANA -!"
"WOULD YOU STOP?!" Malik screamed at his Yami, hitting him in the face with a plastic popcorn bag. Yami Malik frowned slightly.
"I was just getting my groove on." He pouted. Malik rolled his eyes and stepped into the new release section.
"You see anything?" He called to Y. Malik. Y. Malik excitedly held up 'The Matrix Reloaded'.
"Keanu Reeves!" The Spirit exclaimed happily.
"I mean something good." Malik said, looking pointedly at him. Y. Malik shrugged and tossed the movie behind his head.
"Got one." Malik stated. "Now we need two more."
"How 'bout this?" Y. Malik held up 'The Fellowship of the Ring'.
"No. Ryou will be pissed as Hell if we make him watch that." Malik said. Y. Malik looked confused.
"Why?" He asked.
"Bad experience with Anzu."
"Ewww, Anzu." Y. Malik made a face. He shrugged and skipped behind Malik. "So, what did ya get?!"
" 'Children of the Corn'." Malik stated, sounding bored. "They've got nothing but crap here today."
"I prefer to think of their selections as being 'crap-tastic'. Ooh! Harry Potter!" Y. Malik held up 'Chamber of Secrets'. Malik shrugged.
"Sure. Why not? Ryou loves that blonde kid."
"Jigga WHAT!" Y. Malik exclaimed, tossing the movie into the basket Malik was holding. Malik skimmed the shelves again before pulling out 'Cabin Fever'.
"Dang it, they're out of 'Jerry Springer: Uncut'. Now we can't watch the lesbian gypsy midgets fight over who gets to have sex with their sister." Malik pouted.
"Not in a PG-13 story, anyway." Y. Malik spoke up. Malik blinked.
"…Huh?"
"What?"
"Never mind. Let's go pay for these." Malik said, walking up to the cash register. "Then we'll go next door and get some food and stuff." They stopped and the lady smiled at them.
"Hello, do you have a Blockbuster card?" She asked nicely. Malik handed her the card and she ran it through the computer. She turned back and smiled. "Name?" She asked.
"Seto Kaiba."
"Thank you, mister Kaiba. Have a nice day." She handed them their bag, and the two Maliks' left the movie store, heading to the Publix next door. Malik pulled a shopping cart to him and checked his list.
"Okay, we need chips. GET CHIPS!" He screamed after Y. Malik, who had already started running down a random aisle, screeching like a banshee. Malik checked his list again. "AND GET SOME COKE, TOO!"
"I can get some Coke in an alleyway! DRUG BUST!" Y. Malik exclaimed, throwing a bag of chips at his Aibou's head. Malik didn't look up from his list as the bag bounced off his head and landed in the cart.
"Okay, after we get the Coke we'll get some popcorn and… do you want anything else?" He asked. Y. Malik held up a pineapple hopefully. Malik shrugged.
"Sure." He said, gesturing to the cart. Y. Malik did a little dance and placed the pineapple in the cart. The two went up to the checkout line and waited for the lady in front of them to move.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, you don't have enough money here. Just put the prunes back." The cashier pleaded with the elderly lady.
"Please, just lend me the ten bucks! I NEED THE PRUNES!"
"Hurry up, Fossil Bag." Malik stated angrily, pushing the elderly lady and her basket away from register. Y. Malik suddenly gasped from over by the magazine rack.
"Oh my god! Martha's getting five months in jail!" He exclaimed. Malik snapped his head around.
"Put it in the cart. NOW." He demanded. The two Maliks' began to pile their food on the table. The cashier rang up the total and turned to Malik.
"The total is 20.95. Cash or credit?" He asked. Malik pulled a credit card out of his pocket and handed it to the man. The man ran it through and hit a button on the computer. "Name?" He asked.
"Seto Kaiba."
"Sign here, please." Malik signed the paper. Despite the ever-changing signature of Seto Kaiba from the numerous Yu-Gi-Oh characters stealing his credit card, it was accepted, and the two Maliks' walked out the store, carrying bags of food for their movie night. Malik chuckled.
"Man, Kaiba's been a real great help tonight, eh, Yami?" Malik turned to see his Yami staring at him. He frowned. "What's that matter?"
"…YOU'RE NOT KAIBA?!"
"Isis, we're home!" Malik called to his sister, sitting the bags on the kitchen table. "Did you tape 'Buffy' for me?" He asked as Isis entered the kitchen. She sniffed at the bag that held Yami Malik's pineapple and wrinkled her nose.
"Nope. Forgot." She stated, putting the sodas into the fridge. Malik groaned exasperatedly and lay down on the kitchen table, looking frustrated.
"Isis! It was that episode!"
"What episode?" Isis asked.
"You know! That episode! Where they do that thing," Malik made some erratic movements with his hands, "You know, the one with the vampires!"
"…There are vampires in every episode, Malik."
"I like Spike!" Y. Malik exclaimed, hugging his pineapple to him. Malik pouted slightly and put the chips into the cupboard.
"Yami, enough. Knock it off and put the pineapple in the fridge. I'll go call Yuugi and ask him if he wants to come over later also."
"…I like Andrew too." Y. Malik continued quietly.
(A/N)
…I'm sorry. The next one will be much better, I promise. Oh well. Will Yuugi and Ryou come over? Will Kaiba ever find out that his credit card is missing? Will Malik be able to watch that episode of 'Buffy' that 'has all the vampires in it'? Does Y. Malik really like Andrew, or is he more of a Warren fan? Will Martha be able to prove herself out in the prison yard and smack around any bitch that looks at her sideways? Who likes short shorts? Find the answers to… well, some of the answers… in the next chapter.
Stay tuned for: The Third Chapter in a Story of Many Chapters! That means chapter three.
Thanks for doing that thing!