If ignorance is bliss, then knowledge is ecstasy.

:-:-:-:

"Well, that went well."

"Why did Gohan act like that? Did he really feel that rage?"

"I suspect not. We were merely in his way, that is all."

"In his way? What do you mean?"

"Mr. Son, your son constantly tries and finds ways to get out of this institution. He has made friends with his surrounding walls to conspire against the floor and his bed and let him escape."

"WHAT?"

"Mrs. Son, I assure you that this is treatable. We simply have to give him his medication, however, it is him whom has to open up. Perhaps you could tell me what led to this? It may give us some insight on how to treat him."

"I—I have no idea what would make Gohan like this…."

"What about the deaths of Videl and Pan? He seemed to be hit particularly hard…"

"Yes, that's it!"

"Videl and Pan? Of whom are you speaking?"

"Videl was his wife. Pan was his daughter. They were killed…"

"Oh? Tell me more. This is very beneficial information…"

"All right. Here we go…"

:-:-:-:

She is here again.

I have been dosed with the medicine, and I have put up my usual fight. But this time, after I have fully ingested the prescription (ugh), I am perfectly willing to cooperate. There is, after all, a reason for this medication. I still don't like the dreams, though.

Why didn't she or they tell me why they were stabbing me with those syringes? I would have cooperated…

Would I? The details of my life are strange and no one would believe me. And besides, I shouldn't burden them with my problems… especially the knowledge that I am a murderer. No, I'm sorry, I won't do this….

"Hello, Gohan."

Why are you still here? Why are you providing this murderer with your company, your compassion? Why?

I don't like this place. I don't suppose that I ever have. But now I like it even less. I don't deserve your mercy. Don't give it to me, I don't want it, I don't need it, I…

I want it. I need it. I admit it. But I don't deserve it. I don't expect it. So why are you doing this? Why are you sitting on my bed and looking at me with those eyes? Why are you talking to me, telling me that everything is all right? It's not all right. Nothing has been right ever since they died. So just stop torturing me! Get away from me! Don't…

"Oh, my. The medication isn't working. You're retreating again."

Don't…

"I'll have to come back later, when you're more comfortable. I'll see you later…"

"It's not… all right."

(Pause)

"What did you say, Gohan-san?"

"It's not all right. My mate died."

"Your mate?"

"And my child. They died because of me."

"…Because of you? Why do you say that?"

Don't make me try and remember. The pain is too harsh. I can't see those faces again...and not hate myself. Don't make me try and remember. I can't do it.

"Gohan-san?"

Oh, Videl…and Pan…why did you have to die? Why did I have to say those things to you? I shouldn't have been so angry…

"Gohan-san, why do you think they died because of you?"

"I killed them."

"Did you really?"

Why are you questioning me? Of course I did! Of course I killed them! Aren't you listening? Of course I killed them!

"How did you kill them, Gohan-san?"

"Don't… call me Gohan-san."

It reminds me too much of her. Of them.

"Ah…"

Don't make me do this. Please.

"I talked to your family, Go… 89. They told me what happened. You didn't kill them, 89. It was just an accident. You didn't kill them."

"Yes, I did."

Stop trying to make me tell you. Stop trying to make me think that I didn't kill them. I know what I did. You don't know what happened. Stop…

"No, you didn't. Gohan, listen to me."

No, you listen to me. I. Killed. Them. It was my fault, my fault alone. Stop trying to convince me otherwise!

"Gohan…"

"NO! IT'S MY FAULT! STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME THINK OTHERWISE! STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME OPEN UP! IT'S MY DAMN FAULT! DON'T GODDAMN DO THIS TO ME!"

(Pause)

"All right, 89. All right. I'll leave you alone now…"

…Just leave me alone. Leave me alone… to my eternal punishment.

:-:-:-:

"That was enlightening."

"Hmpf. Knew he was going to yell at you eventually. At least he didn't attack you."

"I know he wanted to."

"So you did notice. I wasn't sure. You've got a lot guts staying with a guy with such serious self-esteem issues as he has. When his hands twitched like that…"

"It is self-esteem, isn't it? He's got so little…"

"He hates himself. It's in every line of his body. He hates himself for not being able to prevent the deaths of his wife and kid."

"They were an accident."

"You tried telling him that. Look at the results."

(Pause)

"We've got our work cut out for us, haven't we?"

"Yep. We're going to put some major overtime in for this guy."

(Pause)

"We'll get it done, won't we? We'll help this man overcome his problems, right? I so want to help him…"

"To be honest, I'm not sure we will. See, the problem is, 89 doesn't want to believe that he didn't cause the death of his family. He doesn't want to overcome his problems. For whatever reason, he's perfectly happy in that little world of his… as happy as anyone could get blaming themselves like that."

(Pause)

"I don't see how anyone could be happy like that."

"Heh. Yeah, well, that's life for you, Doctor. You're going to face things that you don't understand. That's inevitable. What's different is how you're going to solve them. Are you going to give up—"

"No! I won't give up on 89! How can you say that?"

"…Or are you going to keep on looking ahead, planning for the future, and finding ways to get there?"

(Pause)

"Let's get cracking."

"That's the Doctor Uni I've come to know. Don't get discouraged because the future is uncertain. It's really only what you make of it, anyway."

"The future?"

"Yes. Now come on, we've got some observations to make."

"Aye, aye, Head Doctor."

:-:-:-:

Videl is smiling at me so happily. Pan, too. They're smiling at me so happily…

I can't stand it. Why are they so joyful? They shouldn't be, not in the presence of the one whom caused them to die….

Videl is beckoning, motioning for me to come closer. A force pushes me towards her against my own will, causing me to almost collide with her. I recoil, but neither Videl nor Pan is looking me. Instead they are looking behind them, at an image that is far too familiar to me.

I fall back again as I recognize the huge pileup of cars that Videl and Pan died in. Somewhere underneath all of those cars is Videl's sleek convertible…

No! Why are you showing me this? I don't want to see it! I see this all the time! I know I killed you, okay? You don't have to show me this again…

But Videl and Pan are not listening. They continue to gaze at the pileup with steady eyes, forcing me to do the same. However, my eyes widen as the image suddenly moves. All the cars are tumbling off of each other and becoming whole again…

After they become whole, the cars drive backwards, sometimes swerving as they do so. I realize that what I am seeing is a movie, a movie that is being rewound in slow motion.

The movie is of my family's death.

:-:-:-:

A/n: Five pages! I told you.

And? What dost thou thinketh? Thanks to DBZ Chick1, Lucy Wood, Salazarfalcon, The General of Darkness, Shadow Dreamer 27, and MarshmellowDragon for talking back! (Bows)

Updated 09.04.05