Disclaimer: Do I look like J.K. Rowling? I didn't think so.
A/N: Good day fellow readers! I would have updated sooner today but I had a sort of writer's block. I didn't know where Remus and Tonks shouldgo from here. But I eventually decided on thisso I hope you all enjoy it and I'm sorry if it's cruddy. Just to warn you, it's a wee bit darker than the other ones so far.
The next day, Remus stayed in his bedroom. He couldn't risk being alone with Tonks right now. Not after what had happened last night, not after what he almost did. He would have kissed her had not Sirius barged in. Remus was truly grateful for his friend's intrusion. Remus couldn't let his emotions get the best of him and it would be twice as hard for him to keep control, as the full moon would up in a couple days and his emotions were always ten times more intense. That is why Remus had practically locked himself up inside his room. No one really came up and bothered him either; they knew it was the week of the full moon.
Remus was sitting on his bed, head against the backboard, reading a book. Well, he had the book out and it was open but it had been opened to the same page for almost twenty minutes, Remus' eyes had not moved. He was too drowned in his thoughts. Tonks. Just the mere mention of the name sent his insides into afrenzy. No matter what he did, he couldn't get the picture of her out of his mind. He kept going through the moment where they had almost kissed. Or were they about to? Well, Remus' head was inclined, but so was hers. But she'd never want to kiss an old man like him…would she? Somehow Remus found that the longer he thought about this, the more his emotions screamed for her.
Remus had to come down. He had to calm himself and force his emotions not to get out of control. He really hoped that Tonks wouldn't come back to Grimmuald Place for the rest of the week. So when he heard a faint knock on the door that interrupted his thoughts, he hesitated before opening it. To his great horror and pleasure was Tonks; she had soft wavy dark brown hair today that rested on her shoulders. She had matching brown eyes, she looked absolutely gorgeous. Remus forced himself to not grab her and start kissing.
"Wotcher Remus." She said softly, smiling a little.
"H-Hey Tonks." Remus said, he had to calm down.
"I just wanted to stop by and say that the mission Dumbledore's got for us doesn't even start 'til after the full moon so you don't have to worry." She informed him.
He smiled at her. Why did she have to be so beautiful? "Okay, thanks Tonks." He said softly.
"Remus, I think we should talk." She said all of a sudden, walking past him and into his room.
Remus was afraid of this. She wanted to talk about what had almost happened last night. Was she mad at him? Did she feel offended in some way? Remus hoped not. Or maybe she wanted to kiss him and she was coming here to confess her love for him? Remus' spirits rose slightly at this thought. But no, that would never happen. She could never love him, he was just an old, poor, werewolf, who would everwant him?
She finally turned around to face him. Her expression was unreadable. "Remus, I-I want to apologize."
Apologize? Why would she want to apologize? Remus gave her a weird look.
"I-I shouldn't have tried to…" She stopped, her cheeks growing a faint tinge of pink.
"Shouldn't have tried to what?" He asked, but he had a feeling he already knew what she was going to say.
"To…to…to kiss you." She purposely looked down at her shoes at this last part.
Remus was stunned. She was sorry for trying to kiss him? But wait. Was that a good thing? Or bad? Remus' stomach was churned uncomfortably.
"Wh-Why would you apologize for something like that?" Remus asked uncertainly.
She looked back up at him. "I don't know." She shook her head. "But I just want you to know that I treasure our friendship immensely and the last thing I would want to do is screw it up." She finished.
Remus stood in silence for a moment. "I treasure our friendship too Tonks." He said softly and smiling. "I'm sorry too." His turn to look down at his shoes.
"For what?" She asked lightly.
"For trying to kiss you too." He said, looking back up at her.
She looked shocked at this. Her mouth was half-open, as if she wanted to speak but couldn't so she shut it. The two stood in silence for a moment before Tonks spoke again."Well, I guess I better get going then. Uh, I'll see you next week then, ok Remus?" She tried hiding a huge grin as she walked past Remus, who saw it nonetheless. She turned around to face him, he looked at her and as he did, her hair transformed into that trademark bubblegum pink accompanied with the hairstyle to match. Her eyes went into a light purple. "Bye Remus." She said as she disappeared down the stairs and from view.
Remus slowly closed his door. What was that all about? She had seemed shocked that he had said he had tried to kiss her too. Did she think she was the only one who had tried to kiss the other? This took Remus back to his previous thoughts; she treasured their friendship immensely. Well, that certainly was good news. Remus loved her as a friend and really liked her. But his heart dropped at this last thought. So, she never had any feelings for him other than friendship. He should be happy, if there was no way she would get attracted to him, he wouldn't have to worry about being too dangerous around her. She was safe. She was safe to go and find someone her own age and be happy.
Remus silently growled at the thought of Tonks laughing along with somebody else.
"Stop that!" He said to himself.
Whenever the full moon was near, his wolfish instincts kicked in, even if he wasn't transformed. And right now, his wolf instincts wanted to do nothing more than tear open any other guy that would make Tonks happy. He needed to stop this! He should be happy. He wouldn't ever have to worry about messing up her life. They were just friends. But what had that shocked reaction been about? And when she left, Remus could have sworn he saw a smile spread across her face. Did she find allthis amusing? Maybe she thoughit was funny that an old man like him ahd tried to kiss a youngwoman such as herself? Remus didn't know and he was most confused.Women were indeed very very confusing and hard to read.
The next several days were very tormenting for Remus. He had now permanently concealed himself inside his room; his wolf instincts were unusually powerful this week. They were never usually so strong, he couldn't control them. But that was not the case, however, this week. Ever since he and Tonks had talked that one-day, his instincts craved her. He couldn't get his mind to rest on anything else, other than her. He paced his room, lost in thought. He wanted her. He needed her. He loved her.
"No! I don't!" He hissed forcefully at himself.
Well, that was a lie, he did love her but he could never have her. He ran the reasons why over and over in his mind. She was young and had an excellent career ahead of her as an Auruor and what was he? He was old, poor and didn't he even have a job. And the main reason, he was a werewolf and this made him very dangerous. Not only because he transformed but also because what if somehow he couldn't get the Wolfsbane Potion? Or what if one time the Wolfsbane Potion didn't work for some reason?
Remus suddenly pictured him as a werewolf attacking Tonks. He shook his head violently, an act which he regretted. It was the day before the full moon and he felt awful. Not only about his relationship with Tonks but because he would be transforming in less than 4 hours. He held his head gingerly, wishing Tonks were here to give one of her Muggle treatments. No! He didn't mean that! Bloody hell, this was maddening.
"I'm going out of my mind." He said aloud to himself, still holding his head.
He soon fell into an unrestful sleep; he hadn't slept at all the previous night. Remus only awoke when he felt the painful sensation of his organs and muscles mutating into the wolf.
"Ahhh!" For the first time in a while, Remus let out a loud, painful yell.
He hoped Molly or the others hadn't heard. He definitely didn't need anyone coming up here now. He clenched his teeth, as he always did, and moaned in pain through clenched teeth. His arms grew hair and his hands transformed into paws. His upper body grew longer and furrier, his legs became the long hind legs of the wolf and his whole face mutated into a long snouted wolf. He whimpered slightly as the transformation became complete.
He crawled on his bed, the full moon lit a full pool of it's light onto him through his window. He wanted Tonks so bad right now. He thought of her and was suddenly very disgusted at his appearance. He got off the bed and crawled into the familiar dark corner of the room and did something he rarely ever did while in wolf form, he cried. A tear slipped down his eye and dripped down his snout and fell off his furry face. He vowed to himself right then and there that he would never ever let Tonks and him be together, even if she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He crawled up and fell asleep.
Remus groaned slightly he was jerked awake suddenly by the transformation from wolf to man. The fur dissolved and skin reappeared, taking its place. His snout was gone and was grown back into a normal nose. His body melted back into a human one and Remus gasped lightly as the transformation was complete. He lay there naked for a moment before slowly getting up and getting dressed. He crawled into bed and gasped when he treaded on his many cuts that had been caused by his transformation. He fell asleep within seconds.
Remus slept off the after effects from the full moon peacefully. He yawned and sat up in bed. It was early evening, he had slept all day. He got off his bed slowly and slowly walked towards his wardrobe to get dressed. It took him longer than usual, his cuts were still open and were very painful. When he had finally got dressed and went downstairs, he inhaled the scent of Molly's cooking before entering the kitchen. Arthur was there, along with Moody, Sirius and Tonks, who still had her short, bubblegum pink hair. Her eyes glittered excitedly when she saw Remus enter.
"Wotcher Remus!" She said enthusiastically.
"Evening Tonks." Remus said friendly. They were just friends.
"Oh Remus! You look absolutely awful! Here, sit down and I'll get you some dinner." Molly rushed over to him and led him to the table.
"Feeling alright?" Arthur asked, looking up from his Muggle newspaper.
"Alright, yes." Remus said, nodding.
Moody's blue eye surveyed Remus. It was very uncomfortable.
Sirius, however, was smirking.
"What's with you?" Remus asked after noticing this.
"Nothing." Sirius replied innocently.
Remus gave his friend a weird look but was distracted by Molly placing a plate full of hot, steaming stew in front of him. It smelled delightful.
"Thank you Molly." Remus said.
"Anytime Remus." She replied. Remus noticed she wassmiling fondly at him, as if he wereher proud son.
Remus looked from Molly to Sirius then to Arthur, he had grown a look a lot like his wife's. Even Moody wore a kind of smirk and his blue eye was darting between Tonks and Remus. What was everyone's problem? Remus, deciding he was too tired to ask questions, ignored everyone and dug into his stew.
"So…Arthur, we should probably get going. We've got guard duty tonight." Moody said after a moments of silence.
"Yes…I think you're right." Arthur said quickly, hastily folding up his newspaper and getting up. "Night dear, I'll see you in the morning." Arthur kissed his wife good-bye and departed with Moody out of the kitchen.
Molly stood there for a moment, staring and smiling, her eyes darting between Remus and Tonks.
"What is it Molly?" Tonks asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Nothing." Molly said, shaking her head. "I'll be right back. I've got to…uh…go." She finished quickly and exited the kitchen, leaving Remus with Tonks.
"What was all that about?" Remus asked, looking at Tonks.
She shrugged. "Dunno. You know how they are. Anyway, I talked to Dumbledore and he wants us to tag some suspected Death Eaters, who are supposedly close to You-Know-Who. Dumbledore would get Severus but…you know... he's teaching." Tonks said.
"Ok, sounds good. When does he want us to go?" Remus asked.
"He wants us to start tomorrow. He's told me all the information so I'll just meet you here tomorrow morning, say sixish and I'll fill you in." She said, getting up from the table. "I've got to go. I've got a long report I have to do. Ugh! You'd think the Ministry would have an Auror do something worthwhile but, you know the Ministry." She rolled her eyes.
Remus chuckled and he met Tonks' eyes. She blushed faintly, as did he. He wished he could grab her and kiss her, but he wouldn't allow himself.
She sighed lightly. "Well, I better be going. Night Remus, I'll see you tomorrow." She added. She winked and within a second had apparated out of the kitchen.
Remus ate his stew silently, wishing that he could taste Tonks on his lips and hold her tightly in his arms. He sighed sadly and felt a tear sting his eye.
A/N: Well, there it is, Chapter 12. Did you like? Did you hate? Please please tell me! Oh and I just found out that David Thewlis and his girlfriend for many years, Anna Freil (I think that's spelled right),have had a baby girl that was born in July. Congrats to them (even though I know they'll never read this, lol).