Unrequited Love
I opened my eyes. A pure white cover of snow greeted my eyes on that cold winter morning. Was the sun rising or was it setting? I didn't know anymore. I felt cold. Cold and lonely. Lonely and in pain. In pain for I had fallen into a trap that humans had laid scattered everywhere. I closed my eyes and willed the pain in my hind leg to vanish. My fellow friends had left me to die in the cold snow as soon as I had fallen; even though I was their leader. The Paradise that they often talked about suddenly flashed before my mind.
Paradise. What kind of place would it look like? It sounded like a very wonderful place. It must be a place where I could run freely without the fear for humans and their traps.
I heard a shriek ahead of me. And then something fell. I heard footsteps coming towards me and I sprang up and growled at the human who was approaching me. I had thought I would see the hunter whom I have always outran but instead a human girl stood before me. Her ruby eyes looked worriedly at me. The anger I had in me faded and the pain came seeping back into me again as I laid myself back onto the snow. I couldn't believe that a human girl took pity on me.
"You'll be alright," I heard the human girl told me as she placed a hand on my head. I opened my eyes at her touch and saw her smile at me as though my wounds weren't life threatening. The jaws of the trap had bit deep into my leg and blood poured out from the wound, staining the snow behind me with crimson colour. I had already laid there for hours, waiting for my death, be it from the hunter or Death itself.
I felt a certain cold jaw slowly being lifted from me and I heard the human girl grunted. As soon as the jaw was lifted, I felt the cold winter air rush into my body and I shivered as I looked at the human girl. It was then that I realized that I was already half dead. I felt my consciousness gave away as I collapsed back onto the snow and a gasp from the human girl was the last melody that I heard.
When my consciousness came back to me, I felt warm. Was this Paradise? Maybe it was because I sniffed a very sweet fragrance in the air around me and a beautiful voice was singing. It was a voice that could lull any beast to sleep. Slowly, I opened my eyes to look at the new world.
I sprang from where I slept and stood on my legs, and I almost regretted my action, but I have always lived by my instincts and my instincts told me to face the human in front of me. I brushed away the searing pain in my leg and growled. The voice stopped singing and she looked at me. I saw fear in her eyes and also understanding. Fear, I did know of what. She feared me. But understanding? What did she understood?
I shrank further back into the cave that I was brought into as she extended a hand of hers to me with a smile. I shrank back further into the cave as she took a step towards me, her smile fading as she looked at my hind leg. I knew instantly that I have the chance to run away from her when she was distracted. As I sped past her, the human girl knelt on her knees and held me around my neck; she stopped me from running away. I struggled to release myself from her hold and refrained from hurting her, for a reason that I didn't know.
"Don't," I heard her said, "You'll die."
Why would she care about me? I was a monster feared by humans. Why would a human girl save a monster such as I?
"Stay?" she looked at me in the eyes and I felt her hands slipped from my neck. I saw a tear found its way down her eyes and I ceased my struggle.
"Thank you," she brushed the tear from her cheek. I looked at her as she motioned for me to lie down. I did as she told me and she began to unwrap the bandage that I did not know was around my wounded leg. She took a wet cloth that sat beside the fire and gently pressed it onto my wound.
"It's bleeding again," she said as she looked at the cloth, "I'll go fetch some water!" And she sped off, taking a water skin with her. I sat up and looked at my leg; fresh blood was trickling down the wound and stained my white coat.
The human girl had cleaned my wound and had treated it well. She had even cleaned the blood stain from my body. Why? Why would a human girl do this? Didn't she fear that I might kill her?
I heard footsteps on the snow coming towards the cave and I looked at the entrance. The girl at the entrance panted as she held a water skin full of water. I watched as she poured the icy water into a pot which sat still above the fire and threw some herbs into it.
After a while, she washed my wound again with a clean damp cloth. My wound was still a burden to me but she was gentle. I found myself staring at her as she tended my wound. She was different from the first time I saw her. She had taken her hood off the thick brown jacket that she was wearing and she had on a tight fitting cotton pant of the same colour. I could see her smooth light pink hair dropped past her ears, framing her angelic face. But a look had marred her serene face. It was worry. A human girl was worried for me? This was a very pleasant dream.
"This should be alright," she smiled as she finished bandaging my wound. "Don't worry, you'll get well soon enough," she pat me on the head, "I will bring some food and water to you. So, don't move around or you will take a longer time to heal."
Surprisingly, I listened to her. When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I saw was her smiling face looking at me. Her smile was very reassuring. Perhaps it was her presence that had assured me that I was still alive. Her gentleness and sincerity towards me began to made me grew fond of her. Moreover, she never showed a single trace of fear when she was with me, which I was glad to sense.
"I'm Cheza," she smiled at me as she placed some fresh meat in front of me. "What's your name?"
I looked at her in respond to her question. I didn't have a name. We didn't need a name to survive in this world.
"You don't have a name, do you?" she tilted her head to the side. It made her looked adorable, I must admit; and innocent too. If it would make things easier for the both of us, a name wouldn't sound bad. In fact, it would be better for her to call me by a name than a title that others gave me.
"May I give you a name?" she asked, "I don't mean giving you a name as a master does though." I licked her hand as a sign of agreement and she understood me.
"Hmm…," she thought deeply and I waited anxiously for a name as I ate my breakfast. Breakfast was light I soon found myself looking back at her again. I didn't know that I got so excited about having a name when I looked at her.
"Kiba!" I pricked up my ears at her exclamation.
"How is it? Is Kiba alright?" she asked me with a smile. I stared at her.
"No?" she tilted her head again when I did not respond. It was not a 'no', I was just so happy that she had given me a wonderful name that I froze in excitement. When I realized that she was thinking of another name, I sprang onto her and licked her cheek repeatedly. She laughed.
"Kiba!" she called, "Kiba, that tickles!" I laughed inwardly in happiness as I listened to her hearty laughter. When I stopped licking her, I became aware that I stood above her and she was lying on the floor with a smile on her fair face. I immediately got off her and sat down next to her, feeling embarrassed but did not show it.
"I'm glad I met you, Kiba," she hugged me and I nudged her with the tip of my nose, trying to say 'I'm grateful to be found by you'.
Kiba, that was a wonderful name for me. It was given to me by Cheza. Cheza, it was a beautiful name for her. Cheza and Kiba, friends forever. Those were my thoughts back then.
Weeks passed and my wound had completely healed. Those weeks were the happiest weeks of my life even though I lived in solitude; no, not alone, Cheza was with me. Many wonderful experiences were gained in those few weeks even though life was much about the same everyday. But Cheza was there and her presence alone made the difference in those few weeks.
Cheza was smiling at me every morning when I woke up. After she had cleaned my wound, we would take slow walks in the frosty forest and she would talk to me or sang the lullaby. Sometimes, I would chase her around and she would laugh as she ran but I had always allowed her to outrun me. As the sun rose higher, we would return to the cave for food and she would take a nap or just simply lay down beside me. When the sun began to set, I would lick her cheeks to wake her up as she had to go home. As the moon reached its peak, I would then fall asleep and wait for my smiling sun to greet me the next morning.
But Cheza was not there to greet me one morning. She had not been in the cave yet for I did not smell her sweet fragrance in the cave. It was really strange but perhaps she slept in this morning. Cheza had been looking quite tired lately and she did not tell me the reason. I got up and stretched my healed hind leg, now free from the bandages and medicine. I walked out of the cave and had a drink at the nearby stream. When the water had calmed down, I saw my own reflection.
It was the same reflection I saw the other day with Cheza at the end of winter. I realized that Cheza and I were two different beings and that we could only be friends even though Cheza had gradually begun to conquer my heart. I told myself over and over again that my feelings towards Cheza were that of gratitude and friendship but a small part of me rebelled. And that small part always said a word that left me speechless: love.
A shout made my ears pricked up. I could recognize that voice. Cheza was shouting for me. I made a mad dash following my ears. I ran across the melting snow as fast as I could towards Cheza.
"Kiba!" I could hear Cheza screamed for help.
"Who's that!" I heard an angry voice asked, "Your lover! He can't do anything now. We're too far into the forest!"
"Kiba!" Cheza continued calling out to me.
"I told you, didn't I?" the voice said, "He can't hear you!"
"Kiba!" I ran. I ran faster than I had ever run. I heard tearing of clothes. And Cheza kept calling me. And then I saw her, lying on the forest ground. A man was on top of her, tearing off Cheza's clothes. Anger flamed within me as I ran straight into him and pushed him off Cheza.
"What!" he exclaimed but paled when he saw that I had bared my fangs at him and growled fiercely at him. The man quivered in fear and scrambled away. As he ran away from us, I saw him took a glance at us from the corner of his eyes and I felt hostility from that glance. I knew he would be back for revenge.
"Thank you!" Cheza embraced me as I stood in front of her with my usual look on my face, "You saved me. Thank you, Kiba."
"I'm so sorry," I was beginning to get confused. She said 'thank you' and then 'I'm so sorry'.
"I wanted to wear this new dress for you to see," Cheza said as she tried to patch the pieces of cloth on her shoulder. "But now, it's in pieces," and she hung her head.
I used my head and lifted her face and licked away the tears that fell from her eyes.
"Alright," she smiled, "I'm not crying anymore." And I licked her more for cheering up and she laughed her hearty laugh.
I was too drawn into cheering Cheza up that I did not hear the gruffly man's return until I heard deep laugh. I turned around to see the man standing a few meters away from us. I turned back to Cheza, who still sat frozen on the ground, and nudged her to stay away from my fight. She understood me and hid behind a tree as I faced the man who dared to touch Cheza.
As the man smirked at me with his hands by his sides, I growled at him. We began to circle each other and his hand went to his back. Cheza saw something that I did not and gasped silently. I did not pay attention to her but to the trick the surly man had up his sleeves.
I heard Cheza's soft boots running towards me and I instinctively looked at her. The evil man was forgotten for a moment. Cheza stood in front of me as I heard a whiz in the air. Then, Cheza fell onto the ground before me. A short arrow was impaled into her right shoulder. As I looked up, the evil man looked shocked and I saw a crossbow in his hand.
I bared my fangs at him again and took off after him. He began to run deeper into the forest, screaming as he went.
"Kiba," a soft voice reached my ears and I stopped my chase for the man. I returned to Cheza and licked her cheek.
"I'm alright," she told me as she sat up, a hand holding her wounded shoulder. But I was uncertain. Will Cheza be alright? She saved me before. I was sure she could save herself as I knew I would not be of any help to her.
"Let's get to the cave," Cheza began to stand up. I tagged slowly next to her, watched as she clutched the arrow but never pulled it out. She would cast her sweet smiles at me when she realized that I had been watching her closely. Who was it that you were trying to fool, Cheza? I knew that you were in pain no matter how reassuring your smiles could have been.
When we reached the cave, Cheza sat and leant on the cave's wall. She was panting. I drew close to her and licked her cheek. I froze. She felt hot.
"I'm alright," she smiled, "I just need some rest." And she closed her eyes.
But you slept without taking the arrow out. How could you get any better? I stared at her sleeping form. I did not know what to do. I was lost. Cheza was in trouble and I knew it but I did not know what I was supposed to do.
I looked at her new pink dress that reached down to her knees. The colour matched her hair and eyes perfectly. A thought struck me then and I immediately went into action. I licked her cheek to apologize before tearing a small piece of cloth from the hem of her dress. I rubbed the cloth onto her shoulder as gently as I could to get the cloth stained with her blood.
'Wait for me, Cheza. I will go get help,' was what I wanted to say to Cheza as I licked her before I sped out of the cave.
"My home lies at the edge of this forest. Over there!" Cheza pointed to the East. "Everyone is very friendly there. I wish you could come home with me someday. I want to show you to everyone!" I looked at her. It was impossible for me to appear in a human village. They would shout and maybe load their crossbows and shoot me.
"Don't worry," Cheza said as she placed a hand on me, "I will be with you. They won't hurt you." She smiled as I turned to look to the east. Maybe I would go there someday.
But I never wished to go to the east under this circumstance. I had no choice. Cheza needed aid. I had to get some help to save her. Cheza was waiting for me back at the cave.
I panted as reached the village entrance. There were a lot of humans walking in the small village. None of them seemed to notice me except for a child, who screamed and gained attention.
"It's the Great White!" a woman shouted and more humans turned up and looked at me angrily.
"That's a piece of Cheza's new dress!" another woman gasped.
"What?" a fatherly man pushed his way through the crowd. His eyes widened when he recognized the piece of cloth I had between my fangs.
"What have you done to my daughter?" he demanded. I dropped the cloth and growled at them, showing them the fangs I had used to kill.
"It killed Cheza!" a man shouted. I didn't care what they would think of my act as long as I could lead them back to Cheza.
Cheza's father began to get angry and I taunted him further. He finally gave in and began to run after me. A few of the man followed him and I turned back to run back to the cave, to Cheza.
I ran slower than I usually did and made sure that they followed me closely. I had surprised them with my appearance that they had only armed themselves with sticks that they picked up to hit me with; but I was not in their range. I was lucky.
"Kiba," I heard Cheza's soft voice calling for me. I slowed down as I reached the cave. Cheza still sat by the wall where I had left her. I walked to her side and licked her.
"Kiba, where were you?" Cheza asked me softly as she brought up her left hand to my head. Just then, her father came into the cave and saw Cheza. The other men just stood at the entrance, their gaze switching between me and Cheza.
"Cheza!" Cheza's father called as he knelt by her. He felt her forehead and looked shocked. I sat beside Cheza and looked on as her eyes drooped before her hand dropped to her side.
"Papa?" Cheza's voice became softer with every word that she uttered, "Why are you here?"
"Cheza, hang on!" he said as he gathered her into his arms. He looked at me and said, "Come with us." Foolish humans. I would have followed Cheza even if he didn't allow me to.
I followed the humans back to their village and into Cheza's hut. Her father laid her on a mat on the floor as a healer came into the hut. I sat beside Cheza and licked her whenever she showed signs of pain when the healer treated her.
I had thought that everything would be alright once the arrow was removed and that Cheza would only need time to heal but when I saw the grim face on the healer, I had doubts. Cheza whimpered in pain as the healer prepared to leave. Why was he leaving? I tugged on his clothes and he looked at me. I looked at him and then at Cheza and then back at him. But he just shook his head at me and left.
"She's poisoned," I heard him told Cheza's father in a hushed voice. Poisoned? I looked at Cheza. "She will not last long," he continued.
"Isn't there a way you can cure her?" Cheza's father asked. There was no response from the healer, only footsteps walking away from the hut.
"Kiba," Cheza called softly. I licked her cheek and she smiled knowing that I was there. Her father walked into the hut and looked at us. He sat down beside me and watched Cheza, who was dying from a poisoned wound.
"Cheza," he said softly, "What happened?" Cheza had heard her father and she took her time to explain.
"He tried to shoot Kiba," Cheza said. I nudged her and whimpered.
"It's not your fault, Kiba," Cheza's left hand reached for me and I licked her fingers.
"Papa, help me up?" Cheza pleaded. Her father gently pulled Cheza's already frail body and leant her against the wall beside her. Her father then walked out of the hut as if he sensed that we needed to be alone. I sat by her left and rested my head on Cheza's lap, like I had always used to. Her hand soon found me and she slowly caressed me.
"I'm glad ventured out of the village that day," she said, "If I hadn't, I wouldn't have met you, Kiba." I did not know why but my heart ached. It hurt. I didn't like that feeling. I got up and licked her cheek repeatedly. She laughed softly as she softly pat my head.
"Kiba, thank you for everything," Cheza gave me her sweetest smile before she placed a kiss on my forehead. Why was she doing all this? My heart ached further as I wondered.
Suddenly, I felt them. Empty. Cold. Lonely. Sorrow.
Cheza's hand slipped from my head as I looked at her, only to catch the last glitter of her ruby eyes closing. I didn't want to believe it.
I nudged her. She usually would move but she did not this time.
I licked her. She usually would wake up but she did not this time.
I gently bit her finger. She usually would scream and pulled away but she did not this time.
'Cheza! Wake up!' I wanted to scream. I nudged her as hard as I could but still, she did not look at me with her ruby eyes. I didn't want to believe it but it was true. The truth hurt had hurt me.
I walked out of the hut and howled. Despair filled my howls as I cried for the departure of the most important person in my life. Cheza's father hung his head when he knew that his daughter had left for Paradise.
I left the village and treaded back to the cave alone. I laid myself onto the ground and closed my eyes. But the thought that Cheza would be smiling at me when I woke up next filled me with sorrow again. Yet I couldn't stay awake as I would think of Cheza talking or singing to me.
When did Cheza successfully conquer my heart?
Had Cheza won from the very beginning?
I couldn't find a single thing to think of without Cheza being there.
"We have repaired the dress as best as we could but there were still some flaws. This was a dress Cheza had made for you," I remembered Cheza's father brought the pink dress that Cheza had worn on the last day to me in a wooden box. The box was kept safely in the cave as I would be there to watch over it.
Though I could no longer sense her, Cheza's sweet fragrance would always fill the cave. Her voice would always be singing in my memory. Her laughter could be heard with every snow that fell during winter. And her smile would always greet me in the morning.
A tear would always slip from me whenever I realized that Cheza was no more than just a memory. I didn't save her. But she saved mine.
"Kiba," I would often hear echoes of my name in the cave and a soft laugh. Cheza did not blame me but I blamed myself.
Cheza, if we would be reborn again, I would choose to be born beside you. I would choose to protect you with my life. I wouldn't care how many times I will be born as a lonely wolf as long as I could be by your side again.
Wait for me, Cheza. Wait for me. I'll be with you soon.