Disclaimer: I still don't own Buffy.. and certainly not Spike.. although, if he ever wanted, he could certainly own me. )

It was about their fifth game of Spades, and she had won every game. It wasn't because she was better than him, oh no. Actually, she barely even understood the rules. They had sat down across from eachother on their sleeping bags, and with her wearing a skirt, she sat with both her legs together off to one side. He could gawk at her legs, but at least keep his sanity.. so the first game started off with him winning.

But then she would get uncomfortable, and forget completely about what she was wearing and sit cross- legged. He had a straight shot to see her panties, and his concentration went as his blood rushed from his brain. He didn't stare, but he was amazed she hadn't realized her position yet, as much as he kept looking. He knew he was stealthy, but as many looks as he'd been taking, he should've been busted by now.

He looked up into her face and was shocked. Her face was almost crimson it was such a bright pink, her lips were slightly parted, and her eyelids looked heavy.. She seemed almost shy under his scrutiny, her head lowering slightly. Did she want me looking? She knew and didn't move away.. Cor, she's beautiful when she blushes.. He breathed deeply, taking in her scent. He had been too busy sneaking peeks at her to realize what she had been feeling.

She felt his eyes on her face, and oh god, am I blushing AGAIN? She couldn't believe she had let him just stare at her panties, but she had felt brazen and hadn't wanted to move. He made her feel sexy with all of his stares here lately, at her lips, her legs.. her panties. Did he notice how wet they were? He felt SO close.. and she was SO hot. Did he even know what his little smiles and sexy drawls did to her? She looked up into his eyes, unable to avoid them any longer.

She noticed his labored breathing, even though he didn't have to breathe.. and the fire in his eyes.. just made her heart race even more..Oh my god, is he getting closer?

Spike was leaning in to her, he couldn't help it. She was so magnificent, beautiful, like some bloody light shining into my heart.. not to mention, damn sexy. All those little pants and those lips she keeps licking- he had to kiss her. "Dawn..." It came out thick, full of lust, almost like a question, asking her to make him stop. But she couldn't, she had wanted this for so very long.

Her eyelids closed as his lips crashed against hers, her breathe hitching in her delicate throat. His strong hands threaded through her hair pulling her to him, deepening the kiss. It was passionate, and rough, full of lust.. Her one kiss before this was nothing like it. Where that had been moist and sloppy, this one was delicious and hot. She felt his tongue stroking hers, and tentatively stroked his in turn. Her feelings of inexperience were forgotten as the heat racked over her body, the intensity making her shiver.

Her mouth was so sweet, it tasted like ambrosia. Even in his wildest dreams, he would've never imagined kissing her would feel so much like Heaven. She whimpered softly against him, and he felt himself grow painfully hard.

They broke apart abruptly, Dawn suddenly aware she hadn't been able to breathe. She took in deep ragged breathes, struggling to calm herself before she passed out from such pleasure and lack of oxygen.

Her lids were heavy as she looked at him, licking her lips, tasting him on them. Her voice came out raspy- "Spike.."; almost pleading. It was she that closed the distance this time, attacking his mouth with hers. He fell back against the sleeping bag, his arms full of his precious bit. She nipped at his lips, teasing, then kissed him with her full passion, all rough and hungry.

She was straddled over him, her heat rubbing against his groin. With each little twist of her body as she kissed him, his cock twitched in his pants. It begged for release, and the sweet warmth Dawn seemed to be offering. He unconsciously was grinding himself against that very warmth, his hands running down her body, molding them to her every curve.

"Oh God Spike, I love you so much..."

His eyes opened wide in shock and he slowly pushed her up so she was just sitting on him. Her eyes looked like saucers- she had that deer in the headlights look about her.

Oh no, did I really just say that? She hadn't meant to ever tell him- it's just that, she never though she'd ever even be kissing him and it just slipped. Oh god, she really ruined all her chances with that one.

"Wut was that luv?" He looked at her quizzically, almost sure she couldn't have said what he thought she had.

"Umm.. noting, just forget it.." She tried to lean into him again and kiss him, but she only managed to peck him on the chin before he pushed her away again.

"Dawn, I don't think we should be doin' this luv'" She loved him? She loved him and he was about to screw her on some sleeping bag in a nasty dank cave. He felt lower than low about then, like a true monster. She was surely a virgin, as sure as he was a blood drinking vampire, and he almost took it away savagely.

He had kept himself from thinking too much about what they were doing because he hadn't wanted to stop. Now he was realizing how much he could've hurt her. Not to mention, a girls first time shouldn't be anything like this, especially Dawns. She was pure light, and he was pure darkness. He didn't want to sully her in any way.

Her heart was in her throat. She had told him she loved him, yes, but hadn't thought it would be thrown back in her face. he wasn't mean, or cruel, but him pushing her away after showing her so much felt just about the same as if he had been.

Her lips trembled, and her tears threatened to come. He could see them unshed in her clear blue eyes. Her pain pierced his heart and he reached up to her face only to have her pull away, quickly jumping to her feet.

"Dawnie, I'm so sorry, I took advantage, 'n I shouldn't 'ave.. Dawn, you deserve so much better.." His eyes pleaded with her for forgiveness, and her eyes only denied him.

Her voice came out in a whisper, pained and small. "I'm sorry I am who I am.. I'm not your precious Buffy.." And with that she was gone, running out of the cave and into the daylight where he couldn't follow. His screams for her to stop, falling on deaf ears.

It was only half an hour til sundown, he could feel it, but alot could happen in that time. He just prayed she'd be okay til then. What have I done?