Life After Death

By Unspoken Flame

I don't own Evangelion, I just mess up the brilliance that it is.

The rain fell in a disorderly pattern. Like it always has; like my life. I have been through so much in the past but I just don't care anymore. I don't care if I am sad, or happy, or mad. As long as I am alive I will be ok.

Alive…I wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for him. I would be a memory in an endless sea of memories. Not even a glimmer of what I used to be. In there, no one cared about you. No one cared who you were or what you did. To some it would be a perfect existence. The old "Me" would have loved it. The "Me" before the final battle. Before I woke up from my coma. I would have just laid back and accepted it.

But after I woke up in my Eva, I felt renewed. Like every single barrier that I had ever put up had been shattered and would never be put up again. I loved my mother but I no longer cared about what happened in the past. I wanted to put that behind me and move on. I have friends and people that care about me here. She wasn't going to be the last person in my life that loved me. I wanted to get married and have children. Children...I had never thought of children before but oh how I wanted to have children. I just wanted to be a mother with beautiful children and a loving husband. Nothing else would have made me happier. Not Eva, not school. Nothing...

And then in a matter of minutes I was dead. The lance ripped through my Eva's arm and then through my eye. And I died. It happened so fast that the pain felt was for only a second, but it was a pain that I had never felt before and something that I could never describe. To sum it up…it hurt. But now that I think about it, I don't think I died. If anything I just passed out. If the pain was weaker and lasted longer, I may have died.

When I "woke up" I was in the sea of memories. Everyone that I knew, all of their memories flashed through my eyes. That is, most of the people. Misato, Rei, and Kaji were the only ones that I hadn't been able to see. I later learned why. My friends and the few family members that were still alive at the time memories became my own.

But the one that made the biggest impact was Shinji's, my hero. Some of his memories did anger me but the bulk of them made me feel awful. His life was full of so much pain…so much sadness. But what made me the most surprised was how alike we were. His mother died when he was a child and his father ignored him as well. He put up barriers to block the pain but in the end stopped. When my mother died and my father abandoned me completely, I still had others to stay with. Others that cared for me. Then after that I went to college and stayed with Kaji. But Shinji…Shinji had no one. He stayed with people who didn't give a damn about him and just ignored him. I think he would have been happy if they had beaten him. At least that would have meant that they noticed him. But he just took it and smiled or said sorry. I really shouldn't be so hard on him when he apologizes. He just thought that everything was always his fault. It wasn't his fault. Nothing was his fault. And he never cried. He just took it all in and moved on with that smile…that stupid, wonderful smile. I wish I was that strong. I didn't stop crying until I started college.

But some of his memories had made me happy. Like how he passed the time with his cello. His mother's cello. It was the only thing that he had left of her, not even a picture, and he wanted to remember her somehow. He practiced and played everyday and never stopped. He practiced when he was lonely, or sad, or just needed some time to himself (not that he didn't get enough of that already). He played wonderful music, just like his personality, beautiful and sweet.

And then it was all over. I was lying on a beach with my arm bandaged and a patch over my eye. I put my hand to my face to make sure that I still had an eye underneath the patch. With careful inspection I found that it was and left the patch alone. After I completely inspected myself I decided to inspect my surroundings. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. It was an endless wasteland. Buildings were in ruins and the sky was stained red. All of the mass production Eva units where hanging on crosses spanning across the ocean. The ocean… it was LCL. It was the horrible yellow liquid that we had to be immersed in when we got into our Eva's. I could smell it from here too. That fowl scent of blood. I didn't even smell of the ocean anymore. Just of LCL. Then it dawned on me. I woke up on Earth or what was left of it. Soon after my realization I began to get dizzy. Right before I blacked out something stirred in the corner of my eye.

I woke up some time later. It must have been a while because the sun was dipping lower in the sky. Trying to stand for the first time in who knows how long I was able to move around for a bit in the little light that was left. My legs wobbled for a bit but I was able to stand after a few tries. It was a little unnerving to have trouble walking at the age that I was at but I got over it. Then something wrapped around my feet causing me to trip. Good thing I was on a beach because a fell hard. Looking towards my feet I was able to see that it was a blanket. Someone else was here. Near the blanket were some medical supplies and bandages, including the bandages she was wearing before she blacked out. The idea that someone was alive with me made me happy and nervous at the same time. Cautiously looking around I found the culprit sleeping behind a dune, a fair distance behind where I had been sleeping. It had been Shinji. He was asleep and curled up into a ball. He looked cold and alone, but his face showed the tiniest hint of a smile. Not wanting him to catch cold, I made it back to the med supplies and blanket as fast as I could and brought them back to him. Wrapping him up in the blanket I moved to his side and lay next to him. I had no idea what I was going to do now but at least it wouldn't be alone. At least I would be with a friend, someone that I care about. I laid there for a while and was about to go to sleep until the rain started. Moving closer to Shinji, I decided to wrap myself in the blanket as well. He moved only slightly and showed small signs of tensing up but just as quickly he sighed and relaxed. Wrapping my arm around him to keep warm I pulled the rest of the blanket over us both. It was raining and I didn't care. I didn't care because I was alive and someone cared about me. As long as I was alive and someone cared about me I could get through anything.

TBC…

Author's Note: So this is my first POSTED fic. I hope you all enjoy it so far. I will continue it in the future but only until I get my ideas together and have time. I want to thank certain authors for inspiration: Axel Terizaki, Crimson Goddess, Strike Fiss, Chewie, Red Horseman, SDB, and Hououza (more to come). You have all written such beautiful works and have moved me in many ways, one which caused me to write this fic. If any of you read this please, if you will, leave me a review and email me how my writing is and what I could do to improve it. Thank you.

Now to talk about this fic. I want Asuka to have been changed by what she saw through instrumentality and the 3rd Impact. I will still keep her cocky and carefree but she would not be in denial. More like playing hard to get and Asuka-like teasing or the normal actions of a shy school girl (but how you could call Asuka shy, I have no idea). Shinji is going to be a tough case. He will be distraught about killing the entire race (even though they will all be coming back except for those killed before 3rd Impact) and will need a lot of help and support from a "friend". He will still be the same Shinji, just a little sadder and will need a lot of support to break through his emotional barriers. I hope my story can meet all of my expectations, and yours as well.

Just a warning, when I do continue it I won't be updating on a regular basis. Just when I have time. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Also, if anyone is good with grammar and sentence structure, knows classical music pieces, knows German, or knows traditional German/Japanese food outside of sausage and sushi (I could look it up myself but that would make my writing take even longer then it will already) please give me an email. I would appreciate it.

-Unspoken Flame

This fic is not the final draft. Will be fine tuned as soon as possible.