Disclaimer – (Previous chapters)

Well, they are now kinda together, but she still has to tell him! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter, I was just in one of those happy moods and I didn't want to write anymore sad things.

Well on with the story!

Chapter 9

Hermione woke up early the next morning. The conversation between her and Severus was fresh in her mind. He did seem genuinely sorry for what he did, but how can she tell him about what happenedand stay on good terms with him? It was impossible. But it had to be done.

She would have to tell him soon, sometime before the war. She couldn't live with herself if something happened to him and she hadn't told him. She sighed and dragged herself out of bed. It was only six, but at least she would be able to shower without interruptions.

An hour later and Hermione was washed and had given up on trying to tame her hair. She pulled it back and tied it up into a loose bun. She had an hour to kill before breakfast, so she decided to go to the library.

She wondered if that book was still there. She wanted to study it more. The last time she looked at it, she hadn't been thinking straight. The library was the same as it had been, so Hermione hoped the book was there. It was, so she carefully levitated it off the top shelf and walked over to a small table.

She couldn't have been there for more than ten minutes when someone else came in. She was so engrossed by what she was reading, however, that she failed to notice. It wasn't until a shadow loomed over her, making the light somewhat dimmer, that she raised her head to find Severus standing before her, grinning.

"Well, it looks like you're still my little know-it-all."

She smiled up at him, noting the black robes. "And you're still going for the 'gothic look.' It's nice to know that some things will never change."

He laughed, sitting next to her and looked at the book. "What are you reading?"

"Just a book I found. It doesn't have a title, so I'm assuming it's probably an old journal." She showed him the cover of the book and he paled, if that was possible.

"Where did you get that?"

Hermione noticed the change in him and replied cautiously, "It was on top of a shelf. Why?"

He took the book from her. "You shouldn't read this, Hermione, it's a dark book. It's dangerous."

"I know what you mean," Hermione muttered quietly, so he wouldn't hear. Unfortunately he did. He looked at her.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just that those potions look dangerous, that's all," she replied, looking down.

He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. "You're lying. Tell me what you mean."

She looked away again. This was the perfect opening for her to tell him. She looked back at him. He was staring at her intently.

"Please, tell me."

She sighed and took the book from him. She flipped through the pages, speaking to him while she did so, "I want you to promise me that you won't get too mad at me."

He nodded, telling her to carry on. She found the page she was looking for, she kept it from his view and told him what happened four years ago.

"Severus, do you remember when you saw me at the apothecary four years ago?" He nodded once more. "Well, I was looking for ingredients for a particular potion. This one."

She handed him the book and he looked at the page she showed him. She was shaking, unable to read his face as he looked at the potion. His head snapped up, looking at her, his face pale and completely expressionless.

"The child was mine, I take it?"

She looked away, guilt settling back into her stomach once more.

"Severus, I'm sorry. I didn't want a child so soon! I didn't know what it actually did, what it would cost me! I thought you didn't want me and I was devastated! I didn't know what to do…"

He held up his hand to stop her. "Save it, I don't want to hear this right now." He stood up and stalked out the library, slamming the door shut behind him.

Hermione buried her face in her hands and sighed. "Shit."

Ginny came into the room a few minutes later. "Hey, Mione, mum said that breakfast is ready."

"I'm not hungry, Gin."

"Are you ok?"

Hermione looked up at her friend and saw the worry on her face. "Oh, Gin! He hates me! I've seriously messed up!" It was then that Hermione finally let the tears fall. Ginny sat next to her and held her while she cried.

"It's ok, Mione, just tell me what happened."

Hermione told her about the exchange between her and Severus the previous night and the one this morning.

"And then he just left. God, he must hate me so much!"

"It will be ok, Mione. You just need to talk to him again once he has calmed down."

"Well, I'll be waiting for a long time then!"

"Hey, at least you've told him, right?"

"Yeah."

"Don't worry about it. It must have been a shock. He'll come around eventually."

"I hope so. Thanks, Ginny, I really don't know what I would do without you."

"It's ok, that's what friends are for, right? Come on, let's get something to eat. I don't know about you, but I'm starving!"

Hermione smiled and walked downstairs with her friend. She had told him, but the guilt hadn't gone away. In fact it was worse than before. He told he that he still cared about her, then the next day, she tells him that she had aborted their child! She sighed. She would have to talk to him and soon. She just hoped she could get him to understand.

Aww, back to sadness again! Well, it hopefully it won't last too long! Review!