Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Warning—this chapter is very, very sad! Hope you enjoy!

Two more things—just two more things. They were both wrapped in tissue paper—one was larger and one was a small rectangle. I debated on which to choose first and picked the larger one. I opened the note that was attached and started to read,

Lori-girl,

( a name she hadn't called me since I was five)

You may not know this—but that night, the first night in such a long time that we opened up to each other was one of the most wonderful nights of my life. I know now that we could never have what you and Rory have because you and Rory are you and Rory. You were right—we were different, and we had to work out our relationship differently. That night—even though we fought was wonderful. It was just the two of us, and I enjoyed it immensely—especially out covert robe-stealing operation.

There were tear stains on the letter again, and for the twelfth time that night, I felt like my heart was breaking.

I can never forgive myself for letting these years pass between us—for letting it end this way. Lorelai, please, please, don't let it end this way with you and Rory. Every time you see this gift, remember that night, and remember that although I haven't said—I have always loved you.

I didn't need to open the package to know what was inside. I opened slowly and brushed my hand over her robe—the robe she had stolen from the Birchgrove spa. I could see now in my mind the childlike delight she had when she talked about all the things we were going to do together and the disappointment in her voice when she asked me why she couldn't have what Rory and I have. And I had been so smug—me thinking I was mother of the year, having the perfect mother daughter relationship. I can never forget the way she excitedly ran to her room to get her robe—delighted just to join in the fun, just to have a connection with me. Who knew? Who knew that in so short of time I would be sitting here, going through the things she left me, reading the words I never heard while she was alive, and wanting more than anything else in the world to spend one day with my daughter—just like she had wanted. Was it going to end up this way with Rory and I?

There was one more thing to go. Slowly, I reached down and picked up the rectangular object. There was just a small note attached to it, and I opened it up and read,

I found this when I was going through my things—I wanted you to have it, so you never ever forget.

I opened the tissue paper and found a handheld tape recorder inside. There was an old tape in it, and I pulled it out and saw on the label, "Emily singing to Lorelai—two years old" written in my father's handwriting. I put it back in, and suddenly felt very nervous, there was deep feeling in the pit of my stomach—a feeling that I was about to really loose it. I pushed play on the tape and drew my knees into my chest.

…Okay Emily, I'm ready now

Richard, this is ridiculous

Emily please, I am recording this for posterity.

Okay Richard, come here Lorelai, come to Mommy

There was some shuffling which I assumed was me and then very softly at first—my mother, the one who I thought had a voice of a harpy, began to sing,

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

You make me happy, when skies are gray

You'll never know dear how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine…

Frantically, I pushed stop, throwing the tape recorder on the floor. I started to sob-- uncontrollably sob. I fell on the floor, and rocked back and forth crying like I had never cried before. All of a sudden the rage hit me as well and I clenched my fists together.

"No!" I screamed out. "She can't be dead! She can't be dead! I need her! I need her!" I rocked harder trying to ward off the insanity that I felt was falling on me.

"Why didn't she tell me!" I looked up towards Heaven and screamed it at her, "Why didn't you tell me!" Suddenly, I was up on my knees, directing my remarks to whatever was out there, "How could you do this to me? How could you take her now? How could you let us end like that? God, please, please, let her come back!" I was screaming. "I want my mommy! I want my mommy!" I fell down in a heap again and sobbed, saying those words over and over again. I heard the door fly open and heard Dad call my name,

"Lorelai?" In two steps he was to me, taking me into his arms. I clung to him, "Daddy, please" I cried out completing my regression from thirty-nine to seven. "Please Daddy, make her come back, make her come back!" He held me tight and rocked me back and forth. He broke down crying then, cupping his hand on the back of my head.

"I can't Sweetheart," he said between his own sobs. "I can't."

It seemed like hours that we were like that, both of us clinging to each other—the only two left of our own little family. I cried because of Mom's death, for the absence from my life that would be there forever now, but I also cried for all of the lost time, the time when both of us had been so stubborn and prideful that we had missed out. I cried for the hole in me, that I had successfully filled with Rory for a long time, but now was empty again. And I cried for Mom, for her loneliness, and the sadness she must have felt because of the way she lived her life. She had tried to fill her hole with money and things. There were only a few people she had really loved in the world. I felt terribly sorry for her. Finally, I was able to stop crying, and break away from Dad. I looked at him—his usually slicked hair was mussed, his eyes red, and it looked like he hadn't slept in days. He looked so sad—so vulnerable. We just looked at each other for a minute and then he spoke, his voice thick with emotion,

"You are so much like her," he breathed, reaching up and touching a piece of my hair.

Life is funny—such a short time ago I would have fallen over dead if anyone would have compared me to her. Now—it was a compliment. I smiled through my tears,

"Really?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," he said. "Your wit, your quick mind, the way you take on the world no matter who is in your way. She left you a lot more than the stuff in that box."

I smiled as I realized he was right and then turned to face him. I opened my mouth to say it—the words that were so rarely spoken in my family—but he beat me to it.

"I love you Lorelai," he said and I nodded.

"I love you too Daddy" I said, and then bit my lower lip.

"Dad…" I said, "I have to go." He smiled and nodded.

"I know," he replied. I got up and kissed him on the top of his head and then ran down the stairs and out to my car. I screeched out of the driveway and paused only for a minute when I got to the main road. Turning right took me to Rory's apartment, turning left took me back to Star's Hollow and Luke. Which one first?

I turned left and sped down the road.

TBC--soon! I promise!