Thanks to all of you who reviewed. It makes me feel so special to read your reviews. I love you all!

Othandscottluver- that's so cool that that's your birthday. I just picked a totally random date. That's so neat.

HipHopper92- Thank you so much

B- I'm uber happy to hear that it has depth you know. That's exactly what I'm going for. Thanks

LostAngel12- Thank you. I love Tim too.

P- to be honest, my reasons for writing this are slightly unknown. I got inspiration from a couple songs, so I just went with it.

Melodie568- I'm glad to hear you want to read more. And I warned you at the beginning it would be sad.

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I could never forget you Tim

II It's all in there

When I got home that night, I was in no mood to talk. Even so, my mom came in to try to start conversation. I wasn't very polite. At all.

"How are you Nate?" She asked cautiously as she sat down on the side of my bed. I expected her to repeat herself but she didn't, she just sat there silently.

I didn't want to speak to her. I didn't even want to look at her and see the concerned look on her face. My eyes burned. They were probably so bloodshot that they were red. And my throat still ached. It felt like I had swallowed a golf ball and it was lodged in my throat.

"I'm fine. Just go away." I said angrily, my voice cracking.

I felt her hand on my bare shoulder. It was so cold it made me jump. "Nathan, I know you're angry, but I just want you to know that I'm here for you. I just want

"Just go away!" I yelled, cutting her off in mid-sentence. I could imagine the rejected hurt look that I had come to know well. I wanted to apologize but when I opened my mouth no words came out. I felt her hand slide off my shoulder as she leaned towards me and lightly dabbed my cheek with a kiss.

"Thank you." I whispered quietly.

"Leftovers from tonight's supper are on the counter if you get hungry." She said before leaving.

I could hear her talking to my father. Even though I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying, I could hear her sobbing. I imagined that she collapsed into him and he wrapped his arms around her. It almost disgusted me at how fake he was.

Out of frustration and pure anger, I picked up my alarm clock and chucked it at my door as hard as I could. With the force, the plastic clock fell apart and scattered its pieces across the room. I buried my head in my arms and cried again.

But to my surprise, there was nothing. My well of sorrow had run dry. "How could you do this to me Tim?" I yelled as loud as I could manage. Then whispered, "How could you?"

I reached down to grab a tissue from my coat pocket and a stiff board met my hand. In confusion, I pulled it out and found that it was Tim's journal. I must have grabbed it without thinking. I looked at the cover. He had written his full name in neat cursive letters, then signed the bottom corner. I laughed when I saw he had written his jersey number beside his signature. He signed just about everything like that.

"Why did you do this Tim?" I asked him. I could see him sitting on the bed in front of me. He was fiddling with a couple elastics he had found on my floor.

"Tim?" I asked and he looked up at me. His face was pale and his eyes were bloodshot. He had been crying. His face was the saddest I'd ever seen. It was really the first time I'd ever seen him not smiling or laughing. He seemed numb, completely deaden.

"You seemed so happy. What was really going on? What were you hiding?" I asked.

He just stared at me. Then nodded to his journal, and whispered, "It's all in there."

And before I knew it, he was gone. "Come back! Don't leave me here alone! Come back… please." I added in a whisper.

I looked down at his journal and opened to the first page.

November 22 2005

I walked down the hall at Tree Hill high wearing the same mask I have since grade school. Happy, absent-minded Tim. Pretending to be someone I wasn't. It wasn't the easiest thing for me to do, but I didn't know what else to do. Wearing that mask made my life so much more pleasant. For me as much for my friends. The only problem was keeping it up. Masks like that didn't just stay on. No, you had to keep up your guard to make sure it doesn't just fall off.

If people found Tim Smith not acting like, well… Tim Smith, suspicion would arise. I'd get questions that, deep down, I wish people would ask. God, how I long for just one person to look deeper and ask if there was something wrong or something bothering me.

"Hey Tim! Party tonight after the game?" Nathan yelled over all the other voices in the crowded hallway. He made his way through the crowd to stand beside me.

"You know it." I said enthusiastically.

"Good. Nikki's house." Nathan slapped me over the shoulder and walked away to his class. "I'll see you at practice man!"

"Can't wait." I said sarcastically, under my breath.

As much as I enjoy practice, it's going home after that that I hate. I hate this place. Although, I guess I'm lucky in the sense that I do have a place to live and all that. But I bet people in Africa don't have to worry Greg.

I have to claim that I just get into fights at parties so that I don't get in further trouble with him. And my mom don't even care. I hate her too.

So anyway, that day was pretty short. I didn't get much homework. Just a little math. Meh. At practice, I did well. Whitey even said so. He said that he really appreciates the heart I put into it. He said that because of that I could play offense for the game tonight. It was probably just because Lucas couldn't make it, but I'm taking it as a complement.

I did good! Greg was actually pleased with me tonight. Today was actually pretty good. Oh I gotta go, Jessie had a nightmare. She's standing in my doorway.

Tim Smith

"Nate!" My dad yelled. "Haley's on the phone!"

It took me a minute to realize what was going on. Why was Haley calling me now? I had gotten so into Tim's journal I forgot where I was. "Hurry up!" My dad added when I didn't pick up the phone.

"Hello?" I said answering it. Instantly, I heard a hang up. "Haley?"

"I'm still here. That was your dad." She assured me. I sighed. "Luc called me this morning. He told me about Tim." There was a pause and I wasn't sure if she was still there. "How are you?"

I held back a sob. "Not too good. I just don't understand why. Why would he do this Haley? Why?" I heard someone yelling at her in the background. She covered the phone with her hand. "One minute!" I heard her say.

"I'm really sorry Nathan but I have to go. Please just hold in there. I'll come down to as soon as I can. I promise. I really have to go. I'm sorry, I love you."

Before I could even say goodbye, she had hung up. I assumed that it wasn't her because I knew she wouldn't do that to me.

Although, then again, I thought Tim wouldn't… couldn't do this to me. But he did.

o O o

So?

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If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew.

- Disney's Pocahontas