Thanks guys for reviewing. It's kind of neat, because so many people say that they think Tim is putting up a mask in the show. It's funny that everyone really thinks the same about that. Maybe something will come up about him this season. (fingers crossed)
P, the journal is actually Tim's it's just Nate who's telling the story and with the girl, the autograph was just something stupid that Tim did and what the girl said, well you'll catch on later. Greg is Tim's stepfather, he lives with him and his mama. I switched it to fit my story line(also cause I didn't know it was the other way around.) : D. The fights at parties are what Tim claims that happened so no one suspects the anything about Greg his abusive stepfather.
The songs of "inspiration" are My immortal by Evanescance and Concrete Angel by Martina McBride (hopefully that answers all of your inquiries)
Special thanks to Melodie568 and B. I wrote the poem at the end and actually did it during math class.
Mony19, I agree Nathan is a jerk to Tim in the show
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I could never forget you Tim
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If only it was that easy
By the time I'd finished reading the 23rd of November entry, I was wiped. Even though it was only 7 o'clock on a Friday night, I was out the instant my head hit the pillow. I woke up the next day to birds chirping and my dad banging on my door.
"What?" I asked groggily as I wiped my eyes. I stumbled to my feet and made my way to the door. "What do you want?"
The look on my dad wore was like having cold water spilled on my face. "Why did you lock your door?" He asked sternly. I stepped backwards as his glare burned through me.
"I didn't want to talk to anyone. Uh! I'm not in the mood to talk to you." I went to shut the door, but he held it open. For a minute, we just stared at each other. "Just leave me alone." I said walking away and plopping down on my bed.
"Do you know what time it is?" I shook my head. "It's 12 o'clock and you've been asleep since at least 8 last night. Your mother was… is worried sick. You have no idea how hard this is for her."
"It's hard for her? My best friend just killed himself! This is hard for me! God, this has nothing to with her! She has no business in this. Just tell her to butt out of it!" I sighed heavily in frustration.
"This is as much her business and mine as it is yours. You're our son and the problems you're going through affect us just as much. So don't get off telling me it's not our business!"
I felt tears fall down my cheeks. "Just get the &$ out of my room!" I yelled, then threw a picture frame at him. "Just get away form me!" I looked over at him and saw Haley hiding behind him holding the picture. It was one of Tim and me. The frame had broken and the glass was shattered on my floor.
"Haley?" I asked and my dad stepped away. He looked at me one last time before leaving the room.
She looked at me. I saw that she had been crying. She ran to me, dropped the photo on my bed and leapt into my arms. "I was so worried Nathan. I got here at 11 o'clock last night. Your mom and dad said that you had been asleep for hours and that your door was locked. Oh Nate I'm so glad you're okay."
I couldn't say anything. I could only cry again. I'm surprised that I didn't die of dehydration because of all the tears I had shed. Haley rubbed my back and tried to reassure me. I'm not sure how long we sat there. I don't want to know. But it felt like forever.
"I missed you so much." I said and kissed her.
"I missed you too." She pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "I'm so sorry about last night. One of the directors was getting impatient and he hung up the phone before I could say goodbye. I'm sorry Nate. How are you holding up?"
I looked away from her and looked at Tim's journal. "Horribly." She laughed lightly and so did I. "I found Tim's journal. I started reading some last night."
"I never really thought of Tim as the kind of guy that would keep a diary."
"There's a lot of things about him you'd have never thought." I said and picked it up. "The real Tim Smith is a lot different from what everybody thought. He had quite the miserable life. Underneath it all, he was really hurting."
I could see a tear fill her eye. "I would have never guessed."
"Me neither, me neither." I drew her into my arms. "I'm hungry." I whispered in her ear.
She laughed. "Me too. Let's have some lunch… or breakfast."
"Brunch. Then I'll read you some of the journal. If you want." I added quickly. I wanted to read the rest of it, but I didn't think I had the strength to read it all alone.
November 25 2005
I haven't done anything in the past two days. I stayed home from school both yesterday and today. Yesterday, I puked up half of my insides. Well not really, but it was still a lot. Today, I just laid on the couch, watched some tv and attempted to read a book.
I don't like books. They're too long. Magazines don't count as books do they?
Today on All My Children, Greenlee was wondering if Ryan was alive. I don't know the whole story, but apparently Ryan pretended to kill himself by jumping of a cliff in his car. And he didn't want to go back to Greenlee because she's pregnant or something like that. And then, after turning good, Johnathan went back to his old ways with drinking and being a jerk.
Soap operas are stupid and the actors suck. I much prefer stupid comedies. So then on, One Life to Live, John has this secret about some man that he ran over with his car and he's afraid to tell anyone because they think that someone else did it. And he's just going crazy. Like he thinks that people are following him and want to arrest him.
Then there's Ginger who has a secret too. Her and Todd are dating and… oh my God, this is not healthy. Ok so back to the real world.
If I had written this in pencil I could erase it. Oh well.
So yeah, when Greg got home he began to yell at me, saying that he's been working all day. And because I've been home for the past two days, that I should start pulling my weight. Then he told me to go make some supper. I refused for obvious reasons.
So he began to whine. "Ugh, I work all day to get money so you and your little brat sister can eat and I don't get anything in return. And here you are, watching tv all day. You don't even thank me for supporting you. You ungrateful bastard."
"You don't support me or Jessie or my mother. You use the money that you earn to buy drinks for people you don't even know!" I began to mutter swear words at him and he got real angry.
"Get off your lazy butt, get in the kitchen and start supper! Your mother won't be home until late. So if you want to eat get in that dump and cook like a good little girl." He laughed and fell into his chair like a fat sack of rotten potatoes. "GO!"
I wasn't in the mood to argue further, so I went into the kitchen and began smacking a frying pan at random things around he kitchen, the fridge, the counter the table… It was pointless but very relieving. I looked for a can of soup. Greg hates soup. For once, there was a decent amount to choose from. Mom must've done the last grocery shopping. I decided to make tomato soup with noodles.
It was good. And a lot of fun to piss Greg off. After supper, I grabbed a couple cookies and went up to my room and I've been here ever since.
Tomorrow I'm not going to school, but I will the day after that. I'm not tired right now so I'm just gonna listen to music and watch the empty streets. I don't know why but it's really relaxing. Mom will probably come in to say goodnight when she gets home. I'll likely be sleeping on the windowsill by that time.
I almost always fall asleep there and wake up in my bed. I don't know how she does it, but she manages to move me from the window to my bed without waking me up.
Tim Smith
"I would have never guessed." Haley said when I closed the book. I just looked at her and I could tell that she and I were thinking the same thing. "I wonder why he never said anything."
"He was afraid." I answered as if he had told me personally. Something inside me felt like he had. "He didn't know how we would react. God, I wish he'd said something. I miss him so much. You know Haley, as much as he annoyed me sometimes, I'd give away everything I have and live on the streets if it would bring him back.
Haley sighed. "If only it was that easy."
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Okay so kind of short, but I hope you liked it. Please REVIEW.
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WE must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools
-Martin Luther Kind jr.