Fast update, wasn't it? See? You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. Even when you're not itching.
…Just read, okay?
When we left the Smashers…well, some of them, anyway, Link had become a guinea pig in Luigi's experiment. Link drank a love potion that caused him to fall in love with a wooden table. (stifled laughter) What will Zelda think of this? The dragon inside the princess is unleashed…later.
Now we join Link and his new lover!
"Hmm…this is bad…" said Luigi, stroking his moustache.
"You're damn right it's bad!" said Ness, right before he was smacked in the head by Peach's frying pan.
"Don't use that word!" she said.
Ness rubbed his head. "Isn't this child abuse?"
Peach was now holding a belt. "I can make it so…"
"THAT WAS A DAMN FRYING PAN!" Ness yelled.
"SHUT UP! I am not your mother. I'll beat your a-"
"How are we gonna tell Zelda?" asked DK.
"Stop asking me so many questions!" said Luigi, slightly panicked.
"It was only one question…" DK said.
"Okay…I need to think…"
Luigi observed Link, who was lying on top of the table and speaking in a soft and loving manner. This scared and amused everybody.
"Baby…I know we just met…but I wanna take this to the next level…"
"Ugh…" everyone else said.
"Can't you make an antidote or something?" asked Yoshi.
"That…is the saddest part. I can't…"
"WHAT?" the rest said.
"Well, I could try, but it would take time and a lot of hard work. And we don't have time…"
Peach sighed.
"Well…I guess we should tell her now and get it over with…"
Ness was hanging upside-down from a ceiling light, tied to it by the ankle with a belt.
"Finally…"
"Oh, Link...we have somewhere to go, now..." Pichu said.
"Not unless my beloved comes with me!" Link hugged one of the table's legs.
"Just bring the table with you. Come on," said Luigi.
The Smashers began walking back up the stairs to the living room.
"Come, my darling!" Link picked up the table and skipped up the stairs.
Sheesh...5 minutes later, they arrived in the living room of the mansion. Samus was there, along with Jigglypuff, Marth, and Roy. Samus, Marth, and Roy were playing Blackjack.
"What were you guys doing down there?" asked Jigglypuff.
"Well, Luigi made a love potion, and he used it on Link," said Peach. "Unfortunately…"
"He didn't fall in love with a human," said Luigi regrettably.
Jigglypuff shifted her sights to Link, who was stroking the table with one finger.
"This was truly meant to be...I love you so much..."
Jigglypuff started laughing.
"Jigglypuff, this is serious!" Yoshi said. "Zelda will-"
Jigglypuff started laughing harder.
"Um..." Peach stated.
Jigglypuff was dying with laughter.
"...Are you done?" Luigi said.
"What? Push?" Marth yelled.
"Stop being a sore equal. We both had 21..." said Samus.
"Who ties with someone at 21?"
"You, apparently," said Roy.
"You sadistic, sarcastic bastard..."
"Let's go, Samus." Roy took Marth's seat.
Samus dealt Roy a face-up 10 of spades and a facedown 5 of clubs. She got a face-up 8 of hearts and a face-down King of diamonds.
Jigglypuff wiped a tear. "Did you hear?"
"No. What happened? Hit me."
Roy received a 7 of spades.
"Shit. I'm busted…"
"Well, boys, I win again." Samus smiled and took the $80 on the table.
"If you weren't so hot, I'd hate you..." Roy muttered.
"Look at Link!" Jigglypuff said.
Samus, Marth, and Roy observed Link singing to the table.
"He fell in love with that table!" Jigglypuff added.
Marth and Roy broke out in laughter, while Samus only chuckled.
"You can laugh, but what about Zelda? She'll be heartbroken..." Peach pointed out.
"And pissed to the highest power. Let's not forget that," added Samus.
Marth and Roy realized something…
"...She's mine! No way! She's mine! I'm gonna get her first! No you won't! Watch me!" They both ran upstairs to formulate plans.
"You're lucky she's fighting now...Luigi," Samus said, counting her money.
"I need to stop this..." said Luigi.
"Don't worry about it!" Mario said, being the eternally optimistic one. "I'm sure everything will turn out just-"
The front door creaked open, and Zelda, Young Link, Fox, and Captain Falcon entered.
"...Okay, Luigi! You run, and I'll shock her as much as I can!" Pichu said, jumping in front of Luigi.
Zelda stared. "...What did you do?"
"Yeah! What's going on?" asked Y. Link for the hell of it.
Luigi smacked Pichu in the back of the head.
"It's not about what I did...it's about...okay, it is about what I did. You see-"
"He made Link drink his potion, and now he don't love you no more!" Ness yelled from the basement.
"I forgot he was down there..." Peach said.
"Uh...Marth-wants-you-you-should-take-him?" said Luigi.
Zelda reddened. "WHAT THE (beep)?"
I think about 5 birds died just now...
You know the drill. 5 or more reviews equals an update within a day. I would respond to the readers, but since I want this to not be deleted again…hey, don't blame me.
See you whenever.