I need to rip my heart out for what I feel for him. I am the huntress, he the hunted. It's a cat and mouse game with us. I chase, he runs. He'd whisper, "catch me if you can". Maybe if he slowed down a bit, I might possibly be able to. The only consequence will be never letting him go.
I hate pretenders. I hate pretending. Pretending to feel one way, but actually feeling another. I don't know why I feel the way I do, for I have no control of my emotions. Thoughts of him occupy my mind constantly. I am never free of him. I wait for his phone calls. I tell him to "go to hell". He says, "I'll save a place for you." To spend eternity with him is all I've ever dreamed of, no matter where it may be.
Here I am drinking away my sorrows, staring into an empty fireplace, imagining of what life would be with him. I've tried everything to get him out of my head, to rid him of my yearnings. I ache for him. Sometimes I feel like I am losing control, holding my breath, waiting for me to exhale.
"I am here waiting for you. Now it's your turn, "catch me if you can," I'll say. I won't be hard to catch, I'll be the one with open arms, welcoming you into me."
"Catch me if you can. Here I am."