A/N I'm so sorry its taken this long to get this out. But I had a lot of time to write so hopefully this longer chapter will make up for it, and it explains a little more of what happened before. I hope you like it please review! Flashbacks are in italics.

Never Gone Chapter 4

BUZZ…..BUZZ…..

"Lucas I should kill you! Its not even seven o'clock damnit!" Brooke whined rolling over trying to hit the snooze button on the clock.

However, she didn't realize until after she had succeeded in pushing the snooze button, or breaking the clock (she wasn't sure which) and rolling over had she noticed Luke wasn't in the bed with her. This made her even more pissed.

She closed her eyes, to tired to get up, and she wondered where her Broody was, until she heard the faint sound of the shower running and sighed, of course he was already out of bed and taking a shower, of course he had to get up leaving her in bed to wake up by herself…

She thought about joining him but then she thought about her poor legs and how they wouldn't want to carry her to the bathroom, and how Luke was supposed to be in bed still so he could have carried her, so she didn't have to technically 'get up'. So going to join him was a no. She thought about going back to sleep, hell, she was so tired from last night but the more she thought about it the more she knew she wouldn't be asleep for more the a few minutes before her beloved boyfriend would come out here and wake her up again.

So that was a no. So she just decided to lay in bed and think… Wondering what the day would have in store for them. Why they were here and if she would be able to get through these few days before they returned home.

Haley. That's why they were here. At first she had tried everything to try and convince Luke to not come, she didn't think she could handle seeing Haley again. She would have too many memories come up. But she was Lucas's best friend and she knew it wasn't fair that just because she didn't want to see Haley, didn't mean that Lucas shouldn't be able to. And then she didn't want to come with Lucas, trying to make up lame excuses to stay home, saying she would be pms-y the whole time they were here and she would have cramps and just be whiney and complain a lot, but Luke didn't care he still wanted her to come.

So she had finally decided to come. After she had heard Nathan had left Haley. She had decided to come because he would not be there, and she wouldn't have to see him. She didn't think she could see him after everything that had happened and still be ok. Lucas would know something had happened by the look she would have on her face and she knew it. And she didn't want that to happen, what had happened had happened and it was over with and she had been hurt by it and never wanted to remember it.

She had loved Nathan more then anything in the world, even more then Lucas at one point. But she had to have known it would come to an end sooner or later, because he had a wife and she had a boyfriend who she was supposed to be madly in love with. But the truth was she had loved Lucas more as a friend but their relationship grew into more and Brooke knew she could count on Luke to be there for her, he always was. Nathan had been too, every time she had called him and needed him he had come to her, even when he was with Haley doing something.

She knew Nathan had loved her and she had seen the pain and hurt in his eyes the moment he broke things off between them, she thought she had even seen tears forming. She could remember wiping her eyes and running away, him calling after her saying he was sorry he hurt her that he hadn't meant to. But all boys say that. What had hurt her the most besides him staying with Haley and choosing his wife over the girl he loved more, was that he told her he didn't love her, he thought he did but he didn't'. His eyes betrayed him though, when he said it she had never seen him more hurt.

The emotions he was trying to hide wasn't being hidden very well. She knew he still loved her even if he wouldn't admit it.

After that she couldn't bare to see him, she would make excuses to stay home and let Luke go hang out with his brother and sister in-law by himself, and Lucas never asked why. But soon after Nathan and Brooke's break up, Haley left to go sing with this guy Chris, and Brooke knew Nathan was devastated. She had gone to him and comforted him and it had killed her because he still wanted his wife even after that. She remembered that last night they had alone, before he left…

"Nathan!" Brooke yelled walking into the apartment that the door was open too.

"What the-!" She heard coming from his room and shut the door and slowly headed towards his room. She looked around his apartment and saw take out food everywhere, mixed in with beer bottles and empty vodka bottles on the counter.

"Brooke what the hell are you-.."

She stopped at the sight of him. He came out of his room standing in his door way. "Nathan look at you!" She said with concern in her voice. She had told herself before she came she would forget about their past and just be there as his 'friend'.

He sighed and went to sit on his couch. "What's wrong Nate." She said instantly regretting it as she saw his eyes close, he was in so much pain it killed her to see him like that.

She went and sat on the table in front of the couch. He looked her in the eye for the first time since they had broken up, and all she saw was pain.

"She left me Brooke." Was all he said, in almost a whisper as he buried his face in his hands so Brooke wouldn't see the tears there.

"Haley?…She left?" Brooke said slightly confused, but she couldn't help the little happiness she felt from that, maybe Nathan would give them a second chance…She looked at him and he nodded not taking his hands away from his face.

"Oh Nathan…" She said sitting on the couch by him and she put a comforting hand on his back. He sat up and looked at her, moving his hands from his face allowing her to get a better look at him. He had dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks were tear-stained and his hair was all wild.

"Brooke… I don't know what to do…" He cried, feeling like he could cry in front of her, he had before, and he knew it was ok. This broke Brooke's heart even more. "I need her Brooke."

And she felt her heart get shredded into more pieces…

Brooke didn't say anything she just sat there and watched him, telling herself that as much as she wanted to she couldn't tell Nathan to forget about Haley. She wanted him to be happy even if he wasn't with her and it wasn't fair. But she needed Nate too.

Nathan turned more towards her, and she looked away from him. "Go after her." Brooke said not very loud but she knew he had heard it.

Nathan looked at her. He had thought about that, but he wasn't sure. He wanted to but should he really? Brooke turned back and he caught her gaze and stared into her eyes, for the first time that night seeing how much pain was there and he knew he had caused it and that just made this whole thing worse.

He had wanted her, he had grown to love her, fell IN love with her and he felt like he couldn't live without her, but when Haley had come to him that one night with the surprise he would never expect, the guilt had been to much for him to handle and he decided he couldn't cheat on his wife anymore. He had married her for a reason hadn't he?

So he had ended things with Brooke. He hadn't wanted to, he had even thought of divorcing Haley before to be with Brooke and marry her so they could live together and be happy despite the paint they would have caused to everyone else. But after Haley had come to him he knew he couldn't do that. His wife needed him and he had to be there for her.

He felt Brooke's hand on his back move away from him and it snapped him back from his thoughts. "I'm so sorry Brooke for everything that happened between us." He said before he even knew what he was saying.

Brooke was surprised but only for a second, she nodded her head and looked away to keep the tears in her eyes that were forming from falling. She had to be strong for Nathan right now.

"Please Nathan. Go after Haley, don't let her leave you here by yourself to wonder what will happen. Go be with your wife." She had to restrain herself from saying the last part bitterly.

Nathan knew why Brooke wanted him to go, he knew how hard this was for her, and how hard it was to see him now. So he would go.

"I'll leave first thing tomorrow morning." He said after a long silence. His voice a little clearer now.

"Nathan…" Brooke's voice sounded broken and she looked at him with tears in her eyes and he felt his heart, what was left of it, hit his stomach it killed him when he heard that voice.

He reached up and wiped the tears that were falling in her cheeks away. Brooke looked down and Nathan pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her he left her cry on him. And it wasn't long after Brooke started that he started and they were both crying. Crying over what was and what had to happen.

Finally after an hour or so Brooke was in Nathan's lap and they were both sitting there not saying anything. Nathan looked into Brooke's eyes and he couldn't tell what she was thinking, for the first time ever he just couldn't.

"I should probably go…Luke.." Brooke said hesitantly getting up from Nathan's lap. Nathan stood up also, neither of them looking at each other.

"Yea… you probably should." He said and she started walking towards the door.

She stopped before she opened it though and turned around, Nathan was right behind her. She had more tears in her eyes.

"I hope you find her Nate, and I hope you both will be happy together." That broke Nathan's heart even more because he knew she meant that. He took Brooke's hand in his and she looked at him wondering what he was doing.

"Brooke." He said pulling her closer to him. "I.." He truly didn't know what to say. He looked down at her and she was standing there waiting for him to continue. He just pulled her to him the rest of the way and kissed her, she was shocked at first but responded eagerly and the sweet kiss that he had meant for it to be had turned into one full of passion and longing they each had for each other.

Nathan started pulling her backwards and moved his hand down to her ass to pick her up… but she stopped him. He pulled away from her, both needing breath. She had tears coming down faster now and he let her go.

"I need to go Nathan…" She said backing away from him, she couldn't do that, she didn't think she could handle it afterwards… when he left.

"I'm sorry Brooke." He told her standing there, meaning every word he said. She nodded her head and more tears fell.

"I love you Nathan. " She whispered before turning and leaving.. Not waiting for him to say anything back, but when his door was shut Nathan stood there, not completely sure what had gotten into him then. "I love you too Brooke." He whispered whipping the tears out of his eyes also before turning around and heading towards his room…

Brooke whipped tears from her eyes as she thought about that memory. That had been the last time she had seen him. And she never wanted to see him again, it was kill her if she had to look into his eyes…

She heard the water turn off in the bathroom and knew Luke would be out soon and they would have to leave so as much as she didn't want to she got up and started looking around picking up all her clothes and going in to get her own shower…