A quite long chapter this time… I needed quite long, too. I hope it's still funny. I haven't read it beta, sorry for any possible mistakes! Thank you very much for your reviews, dear readers – I love you more than I love Kaiba! ;D
BIG SORRY for posting the first chapter as fourth chapter last night – I wanted to replace the first chapter but, ahem, I've read a fanfiction whilst trying to do so and then, suddenly, oops, you know… forgive me? Please...
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How To Find A Girlfriend In Seven Days?
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Chapter Four
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"Day Three"
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Surprisingly, on the third day, Kaiba didn't open the door himself for Serenity to come in. She was led into his office by a simple maid, one she had never seen before, as well as the other sixty percent of the staff. Silently they climbed the stairs that led to the first floor, where Kaiba was working his ass off, day in, day out, after work actually! Pathetic workaholic.
Much more surprising was that he didn't welcome her with one of his smart ass classic statements, but with worse, yelling. Not at her but yelling nonetheless.
"YOU DIMWITTED FREAKS, CAN'T YOU JUST DO ONE THING RIGHT? JUST ONCE DAMN IT!" And our world champion in shouting curses down the phone glared at the screen in front of him.
Silently Serenity stepped inside and sat down. Resting her chin on her palm, propped on one elbow, she tried to ignore his behavior and waited for Kaiba to finish.
"Yes, tomorrow's your last chance and don't you dare screwing it once again and you're…" Dramatic pause. "FIREEEEED!"
Last shout.
SLAM!
The phone was in place again and Seto glared at everything and nothing particular all the same. Sure, he knew the little Wheeler was here already but hell, he couldn't care less! He was boiling inside and tried to calm down, really, he tried but good thing takes time.
That's when the phone started ringing again.
ARG!
"YES!" A threatening hiss and the world froze, not only the girl waiting for the cold, dangerous and really pissed CEO. "…mh… Mokuba, no… NO!… I told you I won't go to any convention in the world… I… what… your what… I know about your birthday… no… no… no… That's my last word… yes."
He sounded like a very irritated CEO right now but Serenity actually smirked, thinking that if one would put music under his voice, that Seto Kaiba could do a rap. Ha-Ha. Funny.
SLAM.
Eep.
Oh yes, now he was glaring at her, the poor funny bunny. Why? She had no idea; neither had he but he didn't care at all. With big strides he got closer to her and slightly, just a bit, she got scared. Could he read minds? Who knew after all? Wide-eyed she stared back at him as he came nearer and nearer and finally… sat down next to her. He crossed his arms, sulking!
The baby was moody, the hell was he moody, not only moody, but in bad mood! Pissed so to say. With his blue eyes narrowed he stared at her and slowly, like slow motion, his left eyebrow rose and Serenity almost expected a laser coming from out of his eye any time, stabbing her almost to death. But only almost and then she would lie on his damn expensive carpet, blood rinsing from out of her and in a quivering and very low voice she would ask him, why.
"Because I'm twenty-three and can't get a woman!"
Ha-Ha. Suppress the snicker, girl and watch your mind!
"WHAT?" Low. Disgusted. Pissed. That described his voice right now when he was snarling his question at her.
Reality bit her little ass and Serenity gazed at him, startled. "Nothing."
"Good."
"Are you sure you want your lesson today?" Maybe she could go back home to the safety haven of her bed, covers over her head, almost vanishing from this earth.
"Course I want." He stated. "Are you prepared?"
For what? Armageddon?
Serenity raised her eyebrows. "Actually quite well. We can start immediately. I've thought about this whole chatting-up-situation and well, I think the most important thing, before you go ahead at all, is to have self-confidence."
"I do have a lot of that." Hello? He was Seto Kaiba! If anyone than he was having self-confidence… or hadn't he? Maybe a few tiny, tiny doubts were there when it came to women, but only in that case.
"You do, indeed. But let's just go through a little check-list I've made." Pulling a small hand-written paper from out of her pocket she unfolded it and read out loud. "Stand straight."
"Excuse me?"
"Stand straight."
"I've heard you. What's that supposed to mean?"
The two hazel eyes of Serenity rolled themselves annoyed. Input. Output. Gladly Kaiba wasn't a computer, otherwise his CPU would be overloaded!
"That means, situation: You want to go and talk to a girl, then STAND STRAIGHT!"
"I ALWAYS DO!" He growled back at her and flashed his teeth. One would think he had spent too much time with his Blue-Eyes. Did he think he was a dragon?
"Not difficult with that stick up your butt…" She muttered but continued. "Step two: smile."
A nod closed that topic on Kaiba's part. Gladly because Serenity wasn't in the mood for another horror show.
"Point three: Try to meet her eyes." Looking up from the paper she met his eyes. "Don't stare! Just try to look at her! Friendly, Kaiba!"
"Whatever. Go on."
"Bend slowly forward." She read and this time, he was looking as if she was insane.
"Why?" He wasn't so sure after all what Serenity was plotting. There were a lot of possibilities as to why someone should bend forward.
Let's take a look at Kaiba's mental list of 'why asking people to bend forward':
1. To give them a good punch in the face.
2. To slap their face.
3. To kick them, wherever, the place didn't matter in that case.
4. To stick them two fingers in the eyes.
5. Or to kiss them.
Wheeler, Wheeler, what's on your mind?
Tell me, tell me, if you're one of that kind.
Wheeler, Wheeler, in case I do miss,
Tell me, tell me, do you want to kiss?
And yes, I guess, he could rap if he actually wanted!
"Because Kaiba, if you bend forward whilst talking to someone, you seem interested and paying attention to them." So simple and yet, Serenity had to explain to him!
"Oh."
Yeah, oh. I've got nothing more to add to that.
"And last but not least, you've got to have a firm handshake."
Kaiba smirked. "Wanna try?"
"No, thank you. I still need my limbs unbroken. So do the girls you're after!" She blew one of her auburn strands of hair out of her face. Strange, they were falling out of place whenever she got annoyed.
"You know what, Wheeler? After all you don't even seem bad as a flirting teacher." The whole situation had two good points for Seto. One, that he learnt a lot about girls and flirting. Two, that the freaky Wheeler's demon-sister was kind of amusing and even kind of smart.
Kaiba only could stand smart people and considering, that the amount of the small hazel-eyed girl's intelligence might be – after some exact calculations of the CEO's super-brain – almost as much as about fifty percent of Seto's grade of intelligence, well maybe forty percent, okay thirty… Fact was, she was kind of smart, sharp-witted and even intellectual. That meant, after some close inspection from the author, that Seto Kaiba could stand Serenity Wheeler.
And so it came to the compliment mentioned above. Nothing more; nothing less.
But the auburn-haired smiled wryly. "Thanks."
"Welcome, Wheeler." Okay, so that sounded odd. Welcome in connection with Wheeler. He should have used Serenity. But calling someone like her by her first name was odd as well – to Kaiba it was.
"Hey, I found this little magazine's article and I think we might take a look at it as well." She pulled a ripped out magazine's page from out of her purse and read out loud. "Are you ready for a date? Take a look at the list below to check if you're ready for a rendezvous."
Kaiba leant forward to take a glimpse at Serenity's magazine page but she glared at him with the 'I'm the teacher glare' as he did so. He groaned and leant back, crossing his arms.
"Well Kaiba," And Ms. Wheeler read. "You're ready if…
You've got an own apartment and earn your own money."
Seto slowly turned his head to gaze boringly at the hazel-eyed woman next to him. A lazy, lopsided smirk was playing on his lips. Oh, it was the smart-ass-grin but one Serenity had never seen so far and well, mentally, she admitted that it looked kind of cute.
"Fine." She grinned and winked. "I guess a mansion and an own company does count as well."
"You bet!" Modesty wasn't the brunette's strength; that was well-known.
"Let's see what's next. You're ready if…
You've got an adequate good functioned relationship to your parents."
Oh hell, hell, hell! Why did she have to mention this? She knew, and that was rare, that Kaiba and his younger brother got adopted after his real parents died but not just from any random family, no, but from Gozaburo Kaiba, who did that only to his advantage! She knew about Noa and she knew how Kaiba got treated from the cruel man Gozaburo Kaiba must have been! Bad, bad, bad. Biting her lower lip she carefully took a glimpse at the young man next to her.
Kaiba just looked at her with raised eyebrows. "To my real parents I did. Does that count?"
The girl couldn't help smiling. "I guess. Well, I'm the teacher after all and in my class it does."
The usually bitter Seto Kaiba wasn't bitter! Yay! That was good, wasn't it? Serenity would have expected him to at least glare at her but why actually? She hadn't done anything to him. She was only helping. So, there was this human being, namely Seto Kaiba, who was actually a human being and well, he must have had parents before and maybe, just maybe he and his parents had been happy! Sweet Seto, very sweet.
"I'm going to continue. You're ready if…
You've got friends for your free-time-activities."
Kaiba thought about that. Friends? Well, he had none really. He wouldn't dare calling the girl next to him a friend; she was his teacher. Other candidates? Forget them!
"Screw that." Serenity huffed, knowing about the friendless situation of Kaiba's life. "Or am I wrong?"
The brunette simply glared at her. How dare she voicing out the obvious? She can't do this even if it was true. Damn her.
"I guess I'm right but, you know Kaiba, if this works out maybe you'll find some friends as well."
"I don't need any friends. What I need is a woman. Clear?" He shot back, much too quick and therefore, desperate sounding.
"Ooh, quite desperate, I see." She teased him and grinned. "That poor thing whoever gets stick with you." She mused much to Seto's disapproval.
"So you really think, huh?" There were the slits again where once have been clear blue eyes. The boiling point was almost approached inside of him. "You've got no clue about my actual treats, girl. Maybe I've much more to give than YOU…" He stuck a hard, long finger at her chest. Ow. "…could ever imagine!"
Sulking he leant back while the girl was rubbing the place on her chest where he had poked her. That had hurt after all. Run, people, run! That man can stab you just with one finger! She scoffed. He was a liar, wasn't he? What was there he of all people could have to give apart from all his money and good looks?
No time to work this out, Serenity decided to go on with the lesson. "Can we go on now?" As she got no reply she just sighed and continued. "You're ready if…
You know how to make yourself happy."
Double meaning or not? That was the question! Probably not, so Kaiba just shrugged. "Yes."
But the same question went around in circles in Serenity's young mind. But she decided against further pushing and with quite skeptically raised eyebrows she went back to her task.
"You're ready if…
You're really looking for excitement, trouble, fun, sorrow and uncertainty in your life."
"Trouble? Sorrow? Uncertainty? I can't use this for God's sake!" He exclaimed all of a sudden almost freaking. Help! Help! There was no place for such in his perfect life!
"But that belongs to a relationship and all above love!" She countered. She had expected this! He had no clue about what love really meant. It was so joyful but also complicated.
"Why?" He couldn't understand this. A woman should make him happy and not bring any trouble, sorrow or uncertainty.
"Because if you care for someone so much that you love them, you will have fun and joy but it goes also with trouble because you can't expect everyone to think as you think. And it means sorrow because you can never be sure they will always be at your side. That also means uncertainty. People are individuals in this world and to stay together means fighting but it will also make your life complete." So she sounded like one from the 'Moulin Rouge' movie but that didn't matter to her at that moment. And she damn believed in truth, beauty and love! She just wasn't called Christian and Kaiba was definitely not a Satine!
Imagine Kaiba sitting on that swing, "Come and get me girls!"
Bellyache alert from laughing!
But Satine… sorry, Kaiba gazed at her silently. His brain tried to work out what she had just said but there was clearly an overload-alert. Her points sounded convincing but also very confusing. If only life could be just a bit more easy. Please let understanding rain down from the sky!
His silent prayers, of course, were unheard. "How do you know all this, Serenity, if you've never got a boyfriend in your life?"
Duh! He had called her Serenity! RESPECT to her! He respected her! And damn, right now he was not only respecting her but also admiring her because of her knowledge in the things Kaiba had no clue about. Love, to put it in one word.
"Well, somehow every relationship in which love matters is like that. Not just a partner, but also with friends or family. Actually all the people you care about." Somehow, Serenity had the feeling he couldn't see her point. "You love Mokuba, right?"
Kaiba furrowed his brows and scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Yes. So?"
"Never had trouble with him? Did you never worry about him? Are you sure that he will be always here to stay with you? Aren't you afraid of losing him one day, maybe? Are you never fighting? Does he never annoy you?" With her eyebrows raised she waited for a reply.
But Kaiba kept being silent.
"I'm sure it happens once in a while but you love him though and he makes you happy, doesn't he? And with 'the love of your life' it will be the same, don't you think?"
Seto sank his head, gazing at the carpet. She was right. The stupid Wheeler was having more experience in life than he thought. Thing was he needed a lot more thinking, urgently. Still a doubt played in his mind if she really, actually was telling the truth. But not now!
Leaning back against the sofa he sighed and wiped his hands across his face, then gazed at the girl with the amazingly big hazel eyes. "Maybe."
A huge amount of input for the CEO's brain to gather and work out. Even Serenity had some sympathy for 'the devil' and so she smiled. "Confusing?"
"Quite." He replied, staring ahead of him.
"Hey, I think you need some distraction from all this hardcore-thinking."
"And what are you suggesting to do?" He crossed his arms, waiting for her reply.
"Let's go out." Serenity couldn't help her rising grin. "It's Saturday evening!"
"I don't know, Wheeler. You and me, going out?" Switching back to the loyal Wheeler-despising, arrogant jerk-mode, Kaiba didn't trust the small girl next to him.
"Yeah, an excursion. I'm still tutoring you, remember? And your teacher says that the lessons are going to be continued somewhere else." Serenity had a wicked grin playing on her pink lips and jumped up, ready to leave that boring mansion of her one and only student. "Get up, Kaiba. We're going."
The young CEO's brain calculated. Lesson. Going Out. Excursion. An idea popped into his mind.
"Maybe I should use this opportunity to check out what I've leant so far."
"Do you really think you're ready for this?" The girl had her doubts.
"We'll see." Kaiba said much more enthusiastic than he actually had wanted and jumped off the sofa. "I'm going to change. Give me a minute."
And left was Ms. Wheeler who waited for the brunette to come back. God, he was vain! Who had thought that? Who would have known? Serenity shuffled with her feet whilst waiting. Two minutes passed by quickly and almost ten minutes were needed by her student until finally, he came back and grabbed his jacket.
Ooh, he was fine! Yes, he was. Serenity was slightly gaping at the tall guy. He wore all black, except for the red tie and he smelled of expensive eau de cologne. Jesus, shoot her, but that guy was hot! If she wouldn't know him, well, maybe, she would actually try to impress him and hope he'd talk to her.
But dreams are dreams and the man within that designer's suit was everything but what she wanted, or needed. Though, thinking about it, the whole teacher-student-situation was annoying but also fun! Fun was always needed… MENTAL SLAP FOR WHEELER! Call an ambulance! That one's insane and needs a therapist!
"Are you finished with staring at the sky, Wheeler?" His voice interrupted her thoughts sharply and she focused her eyes on the man in that car.
Oh nice, he would drive. How noble of him! Serenity was a lucky one. Not because he simply would drive her but mainly, all above anything else, in that car! ROAR! Since when did he own a silver Corvette? VROOM! VROOM! The girl drooled over the car, but Kaiba rolled his eyes at her.
"Don't get the leather seats dirty."
Approaching inside of the club Serenity had chosen, they stood. And stood. Kaiba had crossed his arms and with raised eyebrows watched potential victims. Serenity tried to look for anyone known but unfortunately she didn't spot anyone. So they stood. And stood.
"Well? Have you found someone as a test object, Kaiba?" Serenity asked slightly bored.
"What about that brunette over there? The one with the red top. She's hot." He smirked, but mostly to himself.
"Yeah, hot." The auburn-haired replied monotonous. "If you're going for prostitutes."
"What? Do you think she's---"
"NO! No. I mean that she's one of the kind who takes everyone she gets her claws on. Look at her, that top looks so cheap! Jesus, I can see her nipples!" The girl almost freaked.
"Yeah, me too." Kaiba, instead, had a wicked smirk upon his lips.
Serenity elbowed him hard in his ribs! OW! Fuck! What the hell?
Kaiba glared down at his teacher. "Who are you suggesting then?"
"She's looking nice." Seto's small teacher pointed to a blonde in a black dress. "She's dressed fine, the black dress shows off a bit of wealth. She smiles friendly and out-going but looks also kind of shy. That's a candidate for you, Kaiba. She's practically waiting for you, Prince Charming!"
The 'Prince Charming' thing was a bit too much for his liking but the rest of her speech sounded acceptable. Wheeler had a point. Looking at the blonde she really was someone to be with; not a prostitute. She was definitely worth a try and with that thought in his mind, the good-looking CEO left his flirting teacher to herself.
Serenity sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. From here she could watch her student and how he became rejected. Not that she wanted him to become but, look, you have to admit, well, to 99 percent you could be sure that he became rejected anyway. And if that isn't worth seeing, what else? Serenity snickered silently to herself and drank from her Jacky Cola.
Back with Kaiba. He stopped in front of the blonde and gazed at her. She was really beautiful; no joke this time. "Hi."
The woman turned to look at him and his definitely attractive appearance. "Oh, hi."
Her voice had a nice tone, Kaiba admitted mentally. "I've seen you and… I just needed to talk to you. You've got such a really beautiful smile."
"Thank you." She timidly smiled.
"Welcome." No smile but what do you expect? He's still Kaiba! "What's you name? My name's Seto." He offered her his hand to shake.
"Clara." She replied. "Nice to meet you Seto."
So far. So good. Wasn't he just doing fine? I do think so. But what was Professor Wheeler thinking?
Serenity gawked in awe. Five minutes and thirty-two seconds had passed and the woman still hadn't sent Kaiba away already. Unbelievably. Mentally she clapped her own shoulder, proud, she had taught him that well. Though she couldn't hear what Kaiba and the blonde were saying, she read their body language. The blonde smiled. Kaiba told something which made her laugh. The blonde told him something which made him smile!
Alert! ALERT! Alert! He smiled. He damn smiled. He damn smiled for that blonde! He damn smiled for that damn blonde! Now, it was getting way too much exciting! How---? How the hell---? How the hell was this possible? Wasn't it creepy for the blonde that he had smiled? Had he smiled kind of different for that blonde? Why hadn't he smiled for Serenity that way?
The girl ordered another drink whilst watching the scene from far away.
Let's hear a snippet of what Serenity couldn't hear?
Clara chuckled at the brunette and his try to chat her up. "You're really something else, Seto."
"What do you mean?" Was that good or bad? Kaiba had no idea.
"You're funny and well, quite attractive I might add." She flirted with him!
HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! The gospel choir rose from out of nowhere, clapping their hands and singing in the background!
"Thank you. You don't look bad yourself." No joke, but to his fortune, she thought it was funny.
Thank God for people who liked dark humor and sarcasm! Some of them thought they were even humorous, funny, hilarious even. Gladly, Clara was one of them.
"But, won't your girlfriend be mad if you're flirting with me so openly?" She asked grinning.
"I have no girlfriend." Too true.
"No? What about the girl over there at the bar?" Clara darted her gaze at Serenity.
"Wheeler." Seto muttered under his breath in his usual despising voice. "She's definitely not my girlfriend! What makes you think that?"
"Not? Oh, well, she's watching us all the time."
Seto glared at Serenity.
Oops! Serenity was caught. Kaiba's glare told it all. Damn. Whatever, she grabbed her drink and walked over to a small table in the corner. Sitting down she wondered where all her friends were. Usually, on a Saturday evening they all went out to go here but where were they when you needed them? The answer's blowing in the wind…
"She's gone." Clara declared meanwhile to Kaiba.
"Gladly. She's just a friend of mine. Well, not really a friend. She's…" What the hell was she? He couldn't possibly tell that she was tutoring him in the techniques of flirting! What else could she be describes as? "She's my European au-pair maid. She doesn't know anyone around and only speaks very few our language."
OH, THIS WAS GOOD! HA-HA.
"Oh." That was a reason, even to the blonde woman. "Well, Seto, do you want to dance?"
Our poor small teacher, called by the name of Serenity Wheeler, was meanwhile quite bored. She hated Kaiba for not becoming rejected! If he really found a woman, maybe even a real girlfriend, then her job was past! After only three days. Six hours. A pity. Damn that blonde and her weird liking for weird people as Seto Kaiba.
Serenity took a sip of her third Jacky Cola. Not even that she lost her one and only ever student to a blonde in a dark expensive dress, but no, none of her so called friends were showing up to entertain her! And damn, she was used to become entertained! Where was Duke when he should compliment her about little nothings? Where was Tristan to send around getting drinks. Where were her brother and his damn girlfriend? Again at it, huh, Joseph?
Drowning in self-pity, suddenly, she spotted him. Seto Kaiba. What was he doing back here? A smile rose on her lips when he came closer and slumped down next to her, looking kind of disappointed.
"What happened?" Desperately she needed to know. Finally news!
"You want to know, huh?" He asked and the wild, continuous nodding he received made him chuckle even. "I can't dance, Wheeler."
"You can't dance?" That was it? No insulting scene from the blonde? He simply couldn't dance?
"Told you so. She wanted to dance and I can't dance. Then we continued to talk until someone else asked her for a dance. She couldn't resist, I suppose. I've been so close and yet, it wasn't enough." He shrugged as if he didn't care.
"Oh, that's a pity…" Okay, so she was acting on her part but hell, as if he would care when she became rejected. Hey, wait a second. She never became rejected! Pooh… "If you want to, I could even teach you how to dance."
Serenity was such a kind-hearted girl. Plus, she was having already a bit alcohol in her blood and what the CEO didn't know, was, that she usually didn't drink at all. Congrats!
"Only if it's included in the flirting lessons. Otherwise, I'm going to pass." He dully said.
"All inclusive, Kaiba. For you." She poked him and grinned. "Let's get us drinks."
It had been Serenity who had to get them drinks. Did you think otherwise? Certainly not. But as she was slightly warmed up anyway, she didn't mind – as long as he paid. And he did pay! So, Serenity wasn't stupid, and ordered four glasses of Jacky Cola. Two for her; two for Kaiba. But as he had to drive still, she calculated rather slowly, three for herself and one for Kaiba.
They had been sitting around for nearly an hour now, but the silence was slowly Serenity eating up. Kaiba wasn't really into talking and so she mused again about her own friendless situation. The only one she had was a non-speaking, into nothing glaring, sulking and grumpy CEO, who was looking really hot but was the biggest jerk someone had ever seen!
WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T ANYBODY CHAT HER UP? She was a nice, beautiful, sociable girl with good manners and… sigh… She was a depressed drunk.
"How was you date going last night?" All of a sudden the man talked to her but his question made her cringe immediately.
"It WASN'T a DATE, Kaiba! GRRR!" She growled back at him.
"You were with Tristan. When two people go out, then it's date" He simply shrugged.
Was he bored and wanted to annoy her? Was he really interested if she had a date? Why the sudden urge to know? What was going on in Kaiba? Well, I won't tell you right now.
"It wasn't a date because we weren't two people." She smirked. "Apart from me, there were also Joey and Mai."
"Oh, two pairs then; doesn't really change the situation. A two in one date I'd say!" Kaiba had his fun. Yes, he damn well knew how to make himself happy!
"It wasn't a date! I don't want Tristan! He's just a friend. Don't you get it?" She blurted, gesturing with her hands.
"Whatever." Seto stood up and gazed down at the small, pathetic, drunken girl. "We're leaving, Wheeler. Let's go."
Luck hadn't left Serenity, she mused, when she sat in the passenger's seat of that silver car again. But something wasn't right; something was wrong, very wrong. There was this nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach. What could it possibly be? She couldn't think straight with Kaiba having the steering wheel in his crazy hands.
"Could you please… drive slower… I think I'm going to…" That's when the girl clutched her hand across her mouth.
"DON'T YOU DARE!" That's what the owner of the nice silver car yelled back.
"Don't threaten me! Otherwise I puke on purpose!" She shrieked back at him.
"You'll do that once and I'm making sure your mouth's going to be stuffed forever!" He growled with one of that earth trembling glares of his blue eyes. That was mean!
Serenity drew in a breath, ready to hiss her anger out at him, but stopped and sighed. It would be senseless. She was depressed enough. Plus, they had arrived the apartment building she was living in. Out of the car's window she looked up at the apartment where her room was. Alone she would be there… sigh.
Suddenly her door opened itself. Oh, wait! It was Kaiba. "Get out, Wheeler."
"Okay, okay, I'm already out. See?" She stumbled out of the car, almost hitting the street but gladly something pulled her up by her elbow. Kaiba. Again. He simply groaned annoyed and helped the girl climbing the stairs that led inside.
"You know, Kaiba, I'm kinda like you." She slurred. "Just different."
"I see." He grabbed her upper arms before she fell across the last step of the staircase.
"No, I mean it. We both don't get a girlfriend… a boyfriend I mean… girlfriend… boyfriend… for you a girlfriend and for me a boyfriend." She stopped in front of her door and looked inside of her purse, searching for her keys. "Thing is just… that no one likes you because you're a jerk! Apart from that you are some really good-looking, hot and sexy guy with really adorable blue eyes!" And she poked his stomach with a grin.
Kaiba glared down at her. Good-looking? Hot? Sexy? Alert! A jerk? He? Stupid drunken Wheeler! Get it over with! He snatched the keys from her hands and opened the door, leading them both inside.
"I am totally different from you, Kaiba!" Serenity exclaimed and waved her hands in the air, shrugging off her jacket whilst doing so. "Everyone likes me because they think I am really nice, kind-hearted and innocent but do they really want to be with me? No! They don't want me! Do you wanna know why, Kaiba?"
"Not really." Nonchalantly he answered but his guess was right as Serenity didn't care at all.
"I'm gonna tell you though! Because one, I'm too small! See?" She stood in front of him, showing their quite huge height difference.
"You can always hit on Yugi." Kaiba smirked, cruelly.
"HE'S WITH TEA!" Serenity roared. "Anyway, back to me! Second, I have red hair! Who likes red hair? Huh?"
"Uh… Amelda?" Just a guess but what did she want at all? Seto would rather like to write a check, making her see a doctor than to listen to what she was whining about.
"Who's that…?" Serenity scratched her head. She didn't know any Amelda. Wasn't that the guy who… anyway, she had never seen him in person. "Have you got his number? Then again, never mind. He wouldn't want me anyway. I don't have, well, much… equipment."
"You don't have what?" Kaiba's eyebrow rose in curiosity. What kind of equipment was she talking about?
Our drunken girl simply rolled her eyes at the thick-headed millionaire. Then she grabbed for his hands and put them- without a second thought- to what she called her equipment- to what we know as chest – to what Seto Kaiba called very well-shaped, though small, breasts! His eyes darted to his hands, which were still in place at the girl's chest with her own hands on top.
"See? Too small. Don't you think, Kaiba?"
Ring! Ring! His name was like the alarm bell and he pulled his hands away, quickly, sharply, fast like Pegasus' funny bunny! Whoa--- fuck! Quick as lightning he turned to walk past the girl in the direction of the kitchen. Not that he wanted to go there but his navigation system was slightly broken down – an alert because of a system overload was not something to make fun about – otherwise I'd tell you that he was lucky not to go up the wall in his current state! What was his current state? Well, you won't believe me, but our favorite CEO, the supposedly cold-hearted, emotionless and evil one – yeah, Kaiba – was blushing in the nicest, dark red color you're ever seen! First time, first love… (You hear the voice of Robin Beck in the background!)
SHUT UP ROBIN! That's what Seto was thinking! SHUT THE FUCK UP! He wasn't in love but blushing, just blushing; okaaayyy? What the hell was that Wheeler-witchy-bitchy girl thinking?
"Oh my, oh my…" Serenity mumbled and gazed at the empty space where Kaiba had been a second ago. What's the big deal? She turned to see him with his back at her and shrugged, making her way to her room in order to change her t-shirt. "If you really had never a girlfriend, did you ever… I mean… have you ever… did you ever sleep with one?"
AAARRR! Serenity's high pitched voice made the brunette panicking. He gazed left. He gazed right. Back left. Right. Left. Right. Left… What? Hello? ALERT!
"I mean, I've never slept with a guy." Her monotonous voice reached his ears from her bedroom.
WHAT WAS THAT? Where was the mutt when you needed him? He should keep his sister off blue-eyed millionaires! Help! Help! But--- Did she really--- Hey, maybe--- then again--- the best was--- no--- no way could Seto do that--- not with--- uh uh--- he may escape! That's it!
"Hey, Kaiba, you non-speaking ox! Why don't you answer me?" Serenity's head peeked around the door frame of her room. "Suddenly shy, Kaiba?" He was nowhere to be seen. "KAIBA?"
Walking into the living room, she found it empty, as well as the kitchen, the bathroom, Joey's room, the corridor and the wardrobes. Left was the apartment door slightly ajar… Gazing out of the window Serenity saw a silver Corvette speeding off.
"Holy mother, such a chicken… I was just being curious." She muttered before she collapsed onto the sofa, softly snoring the melody of 'First Time'…
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End of chapter four.