Chapter Thirteen

Hermione's Decision

"Immobilus!"

Harry instinctively jumped away from the spell and rolled over to the side before he sent his own spell followed by Ron's: "Tarantallegra!—Rictusempra!"

In a moment they were both staring at Lupin laughing uncontrollably on his stomach while doing a succession of quick steps in the air.

"Finite Incantatem!" Ron said. He offered a hand to the older wizard who sighed with defeat, but had a grin on his face.

"I give up! You two are too much for me. Your coordination is amazing. I don't know about Auror exams, but if it involves anything within the level of what you two have just shown, I have no doubt you'll ace them."

"Yeah! Harry and I are stone!" Ron exclaimed.

"Huh?"

Lupin gave him a puzzled look that matched Harry's question.

"You know that muggle expression that means we're great."

"Oh, you mean 'we rock!' It's 'rock.' It's not the same thing as stone."

"Whatever, Harry."

Lupin was still wearing a confused expression. He shook his head. "I lost you. I can never get what you're saying when you talk together. It's like watching a lunatic with a split personality. It's creepy."

Harry chuckled and Ron wheezed. It was an interesting laugh combination that made them choke and cough. Lupin raised an eyebrow before bursting into giggles himself. Harry had never heard Lupin sound this mirthful before and it was wonderful to see. He seemed more like a different man--playful, teasing--almost like Sirius. Harry supposed the atmosphere had something to do about it.

They had been spending the whole afternoon at Godric's Hollow, at the back lot of Potter Manor. He and Ron had been visiting the site at least once a day so Harry could oversee the construction. They didn't really need to as the elves could work on their own and Mickey was good enough to remember what the house looked like before. Even particular furnishings such as tapestries, curtains, furniture and pictures were taken care of by the elves. If they couldn't make the items themselves, the elves took care of the ordering of pieces from the proper merchants. Harry only needed to hand them enough gold to buy everything.

Harry, however, wanted to see the structure rise, so he still dropped by at the end of each day to watch their progress. Hermione tagged along each time so she could get to know the elves better. But as usual, the elves ignored her--even avoided her. After her second attempt to talk, she finally gave up trying. Harry and Ron hoped she had given up completely. These last few days, she seemed to fall back into her old reading habit.

This afternoon, however, Harry and Ron decided to spend some time longer in Godric's Hollow to practice on their spells in time for their Auror exams in three days. The Burrow's back yard was alright for practice, but they didn't want to risk Mrs. Weasley's wrath if they accidentally sent a spell the wrong way. Lupin was free and offered to help them. He quizzed them through the standard hexes and charms before engaging them in a duel to test their coordination. Hermione had begged off from the duel and said she needed to read and headed off somewhere away from spell-range.

Harry looked at his watch and noted that it was getting late. They should be home before dinner at the Burrow, but there was just enough time to check on the house and collect Hermione.

He gestured to Lupin to follow him and they walked to the already fully structured manor. They came into the freshly painted living room with its comfortable fireplace and newly installed divans that arrived just this morning.

"We should spend Christmas here," Harry said. "We can have a party with the whole family and the Order members."

Mickey appeared before them with a tray of drinks. "Master Harry like the colors?" she asked.

"Yes, it's very nice," Harry replied, while Ron grabbed a glass. They gulped the drink. "Looks like the Gryffindor Common Room, though not nearly as old."

"Master should see his room," Mickey said excitedly. "It is finished just now."

They followed the elf upstairs to the master bedroom. It was painted in crème with the wood paneling in gold. It had its own bath and a fireplace to ensure warmth and comfort. A large bed, desk and wardrobe were already installed, while bright red curtains were fitted on the large windows.

"It's amazing! It's just like it used to be," Lupin remarked. "This used to be James' room. We all hanged out in here when we weren't outside in the summer. Of course, it's a little different after he married, but the structure is just the same." He paused to touch something protruding on the wall. "The hangers. Good old Mickey remembered even where the broom hangers were." Lupin turned to them to explain. "Your father was so in love with his broom, he refused to remove it from his room even after your mother insisted on redecorating after she moved in. He had a Nimbus 1000—hey don't wince; it was the best broom back then. It used to hang right here."

"And that's where my Firebolt will hang," said Harry. "Along with Ron's Cleansweep. A broom's a broom mate, should always be treated with the care, regardless of model."

"You wouldn't say that if you owned my old Shooting Star. That broom's only worth is for firewood."

"Come, Master Harry, come see the next room," Mickey tugged at their robes. Harry, Ron and Lupin let themselves be led.

"What is a crib doing here?" Ron asked.

They had stepped into a smaller room fitted with blue wallpaper and decorated with baby toys in primary colors. There was a crib at the center, a cot and a chair beside it. The angle of the large windows made for extreme good lighting, even in the late afternoon sun. Moonlight would surely be no different.

"It's the nursery," Mickey said cheerfully. "Does Master remember? It used to be the baby's room."

"But we don't have a baby," Ron said. "What do we need it for?"

Harry flushed with warmth at the room.

"Okay, Harry, I know you told Mickey to make it exactly as it was before your house got destroyed but do we really need this?"

"Oh let it go, Ron," Harry replied. "This used to be my room when I was a baby. Anyway we can change it if we need the room for something else, in the meantime let it stay as a nursery. It could be useful."

"For what?" Harry felt Ron tremble with sudden horror. "You're not thinking of starting a family anytime soon, are you? You can't exactly do that without me."

"No, you dolt. Not me, are you crazy? I mean Bill might be getting married soon. He and Fleur seemed to be getting serious. If they come over for a visit, we'll have a playroom ready. In the meantime, I just like to see what my old room looked like as is."

Harry knew it was ridiculous really to keep the nursery. But he wanted to look at it and imagine what it was like when he was young. He had always thought how his parents tucked him to bed each night. His mother had probably sung him lullabies from that chair, and his father must have leaned over his crib and told him stories. Here now was the real picture of it. This room was truly his—a missing piece of his childhood that had been locked away to be replaced by images of a cold, dark, spider-infested cupboard.

"Come on, let's go find Hermione and go home. Mum will be waiting with dinner,"Ron said.Harry gave one last glance back into the room, and turned away.

"It means something to you, does it?" Ron asked as they went down the stairs.

Harry didn't need to reply.

They found Hermione outside, sitting under a tree, intent on her reading.

"Time to go, Hermione," Ron called out. "Can't miss dinner at home."

"Hang on, just finishing a chapter," she replied without looking up.

Ron slowly approached Hermione and Harry could feel he was up to something. He took out his wand.

"Accio book!"

"Ron, I was reading that!" Hermione screamed as her book flew from her grasp and into Ron's hand.

Ron made an innocent face. "How dare you assume it was me! Harry could have cast that spell?"

"Hey don't include me—"

"Relax, Harry. I think we have a few minutes left to do one last duel."

"Duel?"

"Just work with me okay. She'll be needing it, I promise."

"I know it's you Ron because you're the only one who does these kinds of things."

"Oh, what kind of things?"

"This! Stealing my book when I'm at the good part just to annoy me. Now give back that book." She reached for it, but he raised it out of her reach.

"Uh-uh, Hermione. Not until you agree to one practice with us. Hey Professor, what do you say, one duel. You and Hermione against me and Harry right now!"

Lupin gave a thumbs-up sign.

"Ron, it's late. We should be going back," Hermione said.

"If you have time to finish a chapter, you have time to duel. Come on, you haven't been practicing any of the spells with us. You've done nothing but read all week. That's not going to help your future Auror career. What is this anyway?"

Ron turned the book over to check the cover. Harry could see it was a colorful book with Indian-looking scripts and illustrations.

"I thought you finished with this ages ago. You already taught Harry and me the spell to get Harry into a new body. What are you reading it again for?"

"It's not the same one, now give it back." Hermione cried.

"So you're into soul transferring now? What's next, a society to venerate dead souls?" Ron laughed at his own joke.

"For your information, Ronald Weasley, it's about Asian magic healing. It's something very few Western Wizards know about. I learned a bit from Dumbledore's book and I decided to learn more."

"Alright, but that shouldn't get that in the way of Auror practice. The exams are in three days. You should be focusing on that instead of some stupid Indian thingy."

"It's not a stupid Indian thing!" Hermione was shouting now.

"Well it's not more important that Auror exams," Ron sneered. "You may be brilliant Hermione, but you have to admit, you need practical application on your spells. How are you supposed to pass that part of the tests if you don't practice with us?"

"Well maybe I don't want to take those tests!"

Ron gaped at her.

"You're kidding right?" Harry asked. He knew Hermione was a bit hesitant to take the test, on account of the excitement on her other job offers, but he didn't think she wouldn't take the tests at all.

Hermione looked sadly at them and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm not going to take the Auror tests with you."

"But I thought we were going to be Aurors together," Ron said.

Hermione didn't reply.

"Uhm... do you mind if I go ahead?" Lupin said in almost a whisper. "I'll tell Molly to save you some dinner."

Harry nodded at him and was grateful for the privacy.

"Hermione?" Ron prodded.

"I'm sorry. I just don't think I can see myself fighting dark wizards for the rest of my life."

"But we've always been doing that," Ron argued. "It was always the three of us."

"That's just it," Hermione replied. "We've been doing that for years. I'm tired. I want a different life, a peaceful life where I can devote myself to discovering things that can help others. I fought because I had to, because our world was threatened. But now I don't have to fight anymore. Don't you see, it's time I did something else. I'm really interested in healing. I think I may have a shot at becoming one someday."

"And slave away in some hospital like St. Mungo's?" Ron bit back. "Or maybe you prefer to be a nurse like Madam Pomfrey and grow up as wrinkled and irritable as she is, barking at visitors when they do as much as breathe next to her patients. What an exciting job!"

"Better that and knowing I've helped saved lives than fighting in the field."

"Oh, so you think fighting in the field is a bad thing now!" Harry could feel Ron's anger starting to boil over again. But he didn't dare calm him down. He was just as hurt with Hermione's words.

"I'm not saying that! But I've seen what fighting forces you to do. You've seen what happened in the final battle. You've seen so many die. Well I've seen more! You don't know about that night. I saw so many people die—both friends and enemies. A lot of them died in hospital from their injuries that couldn't be helped. And it wasn't a quick death either, or a painless one. I don't want to be the one responsible for their pain--even if they deserved it."

She was sobbing now. Harry never knew she was as haunted of that incident as he was. Strangely, her response was different from his. He wanted to be an Auror so he could keep people suffering from others who want to do harm, while she refused to fight because it caused other people pain. It was a contradiction he never realized, nor he thought, he could completely understand.

"Not even Dolohov?" Ron asked.

"I was wrong to really wish him to suffer. That was just the initial thirst for revenge. But at least I know he's alive. But that is beside the point. I have this chance to do something. To learn things. Asian healing practices are almost unheard of in this part of our world yet they provide some remedies that could probably benefit us if we knew they existed."

"You can't solve all people's pain, Hermione," Harry said.

"But I could try! Harry, I saw you dead. I found your lifeless body and held it in my arms. Do you have any idea how that felt? I never want to go through that again. I don't want to feel so helpless when I know there was a chance I could find some cure somehow that could avoid such a situation like that again."

Harry still thought it was a futile attempt, but he didn't say it. Hermione was too upset for arguments right now and Ron decided not to say anything either. They drew her into comforting hug.

"She'll change her mind, Harry," said Ron.

"Yeah, maybe," Harry replied though he knew she wouldn't. And he knew Ron knew it too.