A/N: This is a 3 part story, and this is the final instalment! Gasp! Thanks to everyone that followed this story through, Mystic and I really appreciate it (and she probably hopes that it kept your kaihil urges sedated while she finishes off the chapters to her other stories). If anyone is interested in a lemon, there will be one added to the version of this story, on Mystic's account there. Kay? Kay.

:Since you been Gone:

chapter 3

"Where is she?" There was something pained about Tyson's voice that stopped Ray in his tracks. Like he had something caught in the back of his throat, caught behind his eyes … in his heart. It was a silent admission to the fact he knew something was happening, and that something involved Hilary. And he tried to make himself sound casual, of course, as he stacked up the dishes … but really? Ray had known him practically forever.

There was no such thing as hiding things from you team mates.

Ray bit his lip, "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Tyson repeated, placing the dishes one by one into the sink. Slowly, as if he had to think about each and every movement, or they'd all come crashing down onto the floor.

"No."

"Don't fucking lie to me."

Ray's head snapped up, colliding with dark angry eyes. There was a familiar sense of determination in them he'd seen before … often when facing opponents in beyblading. "I'm not lying," He began to say, but Tyson cut him off.

"I'm not stupid, Ray. I heard the screaming. I saw Kai storm out." He shook his head, ignoring the blue hair that fell into his eyes, "The next thing we know, Hil' is gone. I know she always used to go after him before but …" He wiped his palms against his jeans in almost a nervous manner, "This isn't before. She's not an innocent young girl anymore. Though," He gave a wry, forced laugh, "I guess she never was all that innocent. But she is with me."

Ray didn't want to encourage the conversation, but he was undeniably curious. "You think she'd do something with him?"

"God, I don't know." He sighed, and when he looked back at Ray, his expression was considerably more vulnerable. "Sometimes it feels as though things couldn't be more perfect. We get along, we have fun … And when it's like that I can't imagine things being any different. Hilary's the girl for me, ya know?" He squinted up into the artificial lights on the roof, as if even the blaring glare would be better than Ray's sympathetic expression at that moment. "And then … Then there's the other times. When I don't understand her, when we fight, when she –" He cut himself off abruptly and a subtle blush tints his cheeks. "Never mind."

"But she hasn't shown any particular interest in Kai before has she?" Ray makes his voice innocent, inquisitive. While he knew Kai was infatuated, if not in love, with Hilary, he also knew he wasn't the only one. Tyson would have been gutted if he'd seen them at it this afternoon.

"Well … not since he left, I guess. I mean, before they seemed pretty close friends or something. I don't know." He started to move past Rei, towards the door. "I sposed that was why she took so long to get over him leaving. But now that I think about it …"

"Maybe you shouldn't think about it." Ray followed him out into the garden. "Maybe you're just jumping to conclusions." Forgive me Tyson, but things might work out for you yet.

"What am I supposed to do then?" Tyson whirled around, his hands up in the air, defensive. "Just sit around and wait for her to come running back! What if she never does, Ray? What then? What if she runs off with Kai and never comes back!"

"You don't know that –"

"All I know," He said, turning back and power walking at an incredibly pace to the road, "Is that I was damn lucky to get her in the first place, and I'm not just going to let her go like that."

…

When Hilary came to her senses, she was lying on a couch, soft and warm, plush and comfortable. Her wet clothes were discarded, leaving her body nearly naked and oh so vulnerable.

She remembered Kai taking advantage of her shock and leading her away from the beach. He led her to an apartment building in silence, his grip on her wrist firm as he dragged her down the streets of Tokyo.

And now she was here; Kai had undressed her, kissed her senseless before leaving her dazed as he went into the bathroom for a moment leaving Hilary alone with her thoughts.

She vaguely heard the sound of running water in the distance as she continued to stare up in aimless thought at the ceiling. Why had she willingly let Kai lead her here? Kai had already confirmed what she always knew in her heart and shattered her loyalty towards Tyson. He broke her, and now he wanted to keep every last piece of her to himself.

Selfish?

Hell yes!

He hadn't been around for four years and yet… something in his eyes when he told her he was an idiot, there was something deeper, heart retching, something so confusing yet so pining that Hilary couldn't help but fall into his pleas. Helpless as she seemed, as she felt, she gave herself up the moment he lifted her head to meet her in a painful gaze.

How could she deny him? How could she deny him the one thing he seemed to be longing for, for a very long time? Her body, her mind… her heart. He was like her in many ways. Denying him would be like turning her back on herself. Denying him would make her a hypocrite.

Placing the back of her hand on her forehead she let her eyes fall shut. What was she supposed to do? She had already kissed Kai several times; already she should be considered a cheating whore for doing this to Tyson. She felt as low as all those damn fan girls; yet at the same time, being with Kai made her feel more alive than she had in the past four years.

Why couldn't she be selfish this once?

Her eyes flashed open at her new sudden challenge of thoughts. Yes, that's right. Tyson and the boys had been selfish for the past 6 years of her knowing them, putting Beyblading and some stupid championship title before their friendship. Always risking the important things for a stupid game, and they never gave a damn about her feelings. They were always too wound up in the game to care about Hilary until after the tournament.

They, Tyson most of all, had been the most selfish idiot for the past fucking six years of staying with them. Indeed, why couldn't she be selfish this once?

Kai had been all she ever wanted since the first time she saw his picture at Kenny's house during the eighth grade. Any normal human would have assumed it was just a silly school girl crush; after all what girl didn't have a crush on him during that time?

No her first impression with Kai was that he was a cold hearted, handsome bastard that was evil as hell. Though she later learned she may have over-exaggerated a tad bit.

But later as he warmed up to her and vice versa, she slowly got small peeks at the real Kai under that cold mask he always hid in behind. That's the Kai she cared for, and it didn't bother her that he put up a cold front, she couldn't blame him for not wanting girls getting too close for him. It was all because of his image anyway.

But now, like some bizarre and surreal dream, Kai wanted her back. What was she supposed to do when the man she had been having wet dreams about for years was suddenly back and practically dragging her out of Tyson's arms? She could only fight it for so long.

But fighting it only hurt more. She didn't want to fight! Not Kai of all people! He was saving her from the mess he left behind wasn't he?

"Hilary." His voice was low and calm. A familiar tone she was used to when dealing with Kai during the Third World Championships. She sat up and craned her head to see him standing in the bathroom door way, the sound of running water had stopped. He was dressed in just a dark towel around his waist, his arms over her chest as he stared at her. "Come here." Again, such a simple command, and she felt it held more meaning than what he was giving off.

Slowly getting to her frozen feet, she walked over to Kai who lead her into the darkened bathroom, only a dozen candles held a simple glow to the room. She heard the door shut behind her as she stared down at the seaming bath water.

Tensing slightly as he unclasped her blue bra strap and slid the garment down her arms and to the floor. She felt his warm lips seal a gentle kiss on the back of her shoulder, gently brushing away a few chestnut strands of hair to the side. She shivered at this, why was it that all of Kai's touches seemed so sensual and intimate, it almost scared her.

Almost.

Hooking his fingered around the straps of the bikini styled panties, he slowly slid them down over her hips and down to her ankles in such a fluid motion Hilary had barely time to think what was happening.

Her breathing was heavy now; shallow breaths seemed to hitch in her throat when she found Kai's hand wrapping around her and pressing firmly on the flat of her stomach, sucking passionately at the nape of her neck. "Get in." He whispered slowly in a deep sultry voice.

Shivering again, remembering how cold the water was at the ocean, Hilary complied and slipped a foot into the water, followed by the other, easing herself into the warm liquid. Her feet felt like they were on fire after being so numbingly cold, to a now warm and welcoming bath.

And it was an unusual and somewhat foreign feeling that imbedded itself in Hilary's stomach as she slid against the pale porcelain backing of the bathtub. Her knees jerked against his, the plug dug into her ass … but then there were his hands on hers, and the strange smile on his lips. He had her now. It had taken less time than expected … but that was only further proof that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

And that deep down, there'd always been something between them. Something neither of them was quite able to describe, like a niggling touch at the back of your heart that you weren't really sure was there or not. And then it clicked.

Kai's smile turned predatory, and he began to sink down further in the tub, pulling Hilary above him to account for lost space. She squealed as the water splashed over her back, as her body moved on top of his, so far she could rest her elbows against his chest. She sighed slightly, giving in, "I guess you've got me exactly where you want me now, don't you?"

"Almost." He replied, leaning in so close their lips were just almost touching. "Though there's just one more thing you need to know." His warm breath mingled with hers and she whined.

"Kaai…" He was so close … so close … that tease!

"I love you." And then his lips were against hers, with such a frantic need and desperation she couldn't help but gasp against him. It was as though he wanted to prove it to her … to prove to her that she meant something to him. He wouldn't leave again. He couldn't now that he knew what he'd been missing. His hands grasped at her waist, in a vain attempt to pull her almost impossibly closer.

"Kai …" His kisses moved across her jawline, down her neck. "Kai, I …"

Then to her breasts … she realised then he'd perhaps unconsciously positioned them differently as to allow him better access. She bit her lips, a moan threatening to escape them. She had to say it … she had to … she couldn't just …

"I know." Her gaze snapped down to his, startled. How had he …? But then she shrugged, mentally, he could see it in her eyes. Arrogant bastard always knew everything. The next thing she knew, the temperature in the bath had grown a hell of a lot hotter. His hands were everywhere … Her hands were everywhere …

The door clicked open.

Widen eyes stared down at the speechless naked couple groping each other in the bathtub. "Oooohkaaay…."

"TALA! You bastard! Don't you knock!"

WHACK

"Ow! Damnit stop throwing shit at me!" Tala hissed covering both eyes as a shampoo bottle hit his forehead. "I just thought you'd like to know Tyson and Ray are here asking for… the both of you. I told him you were in the shower and I hadn't seen Hilary! I'm not covering for you so hurry up." And with that the door was slammed.

"Shit!" Hilary scrambled out of the tub, wrapping her self in a plush towel.

"Go into my bedroom and put on some of my clothes. We'll tell him you took a nap while waiting for your clothes to dry." Kai said flatly, standing up and pulling the curtain around the tub, "I'll finish my shower." He grunted.

Hilary sighed heavily, and hurried out of the bathroom into Kai's room. She went straight for the drawer and pulled out a long sleeved shirt, it was obviously baggy, and draped down to her mid thighs when she pulled the dark material over her head. Screw finding pants that fit, she already knew that would be next to impossible.

So she ruffled up her hair a bit to make it look as though she had been sleeping and slowly made her way to the living room- hesitantly. God she didn't want to face Tyson… not after what she had done behind his back. But she needed to end things before she got in too deep.

"I knew you were here." Hilary jumped at the unfamiliar tone in Tyson's voice. It was dark and snappy; almost as if he knew… but he couldn't have… he didn't know. Did he? "Why did you come here, and not home?"

"I kinda got my clothes wet in the ocean, so Kai offered to let me borrow some clothes while mine were in the dryer… I guess I dozed off when Kai went for a shower." Okay that wasn't completely true, but it wasn't completely false either.

Before Ray could even attempt to get Tyson to calm down, the blue-haired teen stepped forward. "Is there something going on between you and Kai?" His tone underlined a demand. He wanted the truth.

The truth…

"I think so…" She whispered softly.

Tyson's body was stiff, and his express was unreadable. Why wasn't he screaming or yelling or having a temper tantrum! "I see…" His tone had dropped to that of her own.

She took this chance to explain herself before Tyson could blow up on her. "Tyson you and I both know that if it were anyone else I wouldn't even have considered it. But it's Kai, Tyson. It's Kai. He's our friend, our companion, and I know he's been in your life a lot longer than mine. And god, I know I should hate him for the mess he left behind when he left, but I can't. I've loved him for a very long time Tyson, and my heart just doesn't have the strength to hate him." She paused, possible to give Tyson time to process what she had just said.

He still didn't move, didn't yell, didn't speak at all. He wouldn't even look at her.

She tried again. "I tried to make it possible for you to be the only one in my life. I tried so hard to force my heart to love you, to make up for being an idiot when Kai left. God, I wanted so badly for you to be the only one Tyson!"

"And now?" His voice was stable, but on the edge of something much worse than tears.

"I see that I can't force my heart to do anything. You know I love you. I love you and all the boys. You are my family and my life; my best friend. I would be no where without you- but I'm not in love with you Tyson." She said softly, her tone sympathetic and apologetic.

He still wouldn't look at her.

"Of course not…" He sounded so bitter, and so hurt. It didn't matter how much he hid it, she knew this was probably hurting him ten times more than it was hurting her. And if that were the case, Tyson should be falling apart by now because Hilary felt so much remorse welled up inside her chest it hurt.

"Please don't hate me for this Tyson." She said suddenly, catching his gaze in hers. She was struggling to keep control of her emotions, this hurt so much more than she thought it would.

"Tyson… say something." Ray said softly, hesitantly a gentle hand on his friends shoulder. It was as if he was afraid to move the tension was so thick- Tala could feel it too from where he stood by the door.

Hilary intervened desperately though. "You know this isn't at all like me, but I can't help what I feel towards Kai- I love him Tyson. But I don't want to lose you! I need you to understand, I'm not like all those fan whores that follow you boys around, I really care for you!"

Tyson said nothing as his eyes flickered over past her shoulder. "Do you love her?"

Hilary glanced behind her to see Kai leaning against the wall, arms folded, hair still dripping wet from his shower. His eye's glazed over in a silent challenge as he stared directly at Tyson. "I do."

Tyson's eyes fixated back on Hilary, who was holding her breath as Tyson took a step towards her. Why hadn't he lashed out yet? Shouldn't he be angry and hate her? Yell at her? Hell anything was better than this unfamiliar tension that was radiating off of him.

Please don't hate me…

She let the air escape her lungs as she felt Tyson's warm lips press against her left cheek, before he whispered against her ear, almost bitterly, "I will always love you, and I will always be waiting." He pulled away and turned on his foot, not even sparing her a glance, muttering for Ray to follow as he strode back out the door.

Hilary didn't even seem to notice Ray hesitating to follow Tyson as her knees buckled, and found herself on hands and knees on the carpet- silent tears pouring down her cheeks as she fought to find air. She drew in a shaky breath which sounded much like a sob, clenching her fists as Tala gently shut the door as Ray left. She did the right thing, yet why did she feel so awful!

It wasn't until Kai wrapped an arm around her waist bringing her up against her chest did she realise that she was crying, and what she had done to cause it, did she let out a loud cry of guilt, burying her face into his chest.

Tyson must really hate me now…

She felt his strong hand rubbing her back in reassurance. "I'm not leaving you, Hilary." His voice was just above a whisper, but the words alone were enough to comfort her.

…

Socks … shirts … underwear … jackets … passport … Hilary's head jerked up, dropping the checklist that she'd been clutching in her hand. "Shit," She groaned, glancing around at the chaos that littered the floor of Tala's, Kai's, and now also her, apartment. "Where the hell is my passport?"

Before she began to rummage frantically through the suitcases and handbags, she glanced at the watch on her wrist. The silver backing had chipped and the second hand had dropped off, but it worked as well as ever. 5 AM. Their plane left at 6. She grunted – that left half an hour to leave, as it took half an hour to get to the airport. And only a couple of minutes to find her passport.

She squealed, practically diving into the piles of clothes. For the past three weeks Hilary and Kai had been organising this trip back to Russia. Getting visas for her, making sure the Hiwatari properties were liveable, buying warm clothes – the works. At first Hilary had been hesitant about the whole idea. She didn't want to run away from anything, and Japan had always been, and always would be, her home. She had no idea what Kai had done these past four years, but she wasn't having any of it.

Luckily, for Kai more than anyone else, that wasn't his intention at all. He'd just muttered something about a holiday, a little break and … what else had he said? Hilary sighed and almost slapped herself. Of course. He wanted her to know more about his past. Funny how she could have forgotten for even a second. She'd been obsessing about it ever since he mentioned it.

And seriously? Who wouldn't? If your boyfriend of a few weeks had suddenly announced you needed to know more about his past … well it usually meant that he was hoping you'd be a large part of his future. She smiled a little to herself at the thought. A white winter wedding would be nice … As would a few mini Kais running around the house.

"Hilary?" Her eyes shot up to the doorway, blushing furiously despite the fact there was no way he could've known what she was thinking. Kai tilted his head at her slightly. What has she been up to …? "Are the cases ready? I should probably start taking them downstairs."

"Um …" She hesitantly got to her feet, head bowed guiltily, "They are, but there's no good in that if I can't find my passport. I mean, sure we could get to the airport, but after that …"

Kai rolled his eyes, "You gave them both to me last night, remember? You said you'd loose them for sure and that I was the only one who could be –"

She laughed sheepishly, cutting him off, "Oh yeah. Heh heh."

His knuckles brushed against the back of her head lightly, in an affectionate sort of scolding. "Lucky you did, too. Now can I take these?" He jerked his head in the direction of cases, and she nodded mildly.

"I think I've got everything then … but it's going to be cold this time of year, right? Snowing and everything… and I'm not sure I packed enough socks. You know, they say your head lets out the most heat but seriously have you ever walked out in the freezing cold and –"

Kai silenced her with a quick kiss, cupping her face with his hands. He smiled, barely inches away from her face. "You have enough socks. And if you don't, we can buy more over there." And then he was by the door again, the battered suitcases under his arms. "Don't stress too much, okay?"

"I'm not stressing!"

"Sure." He shrugged, "Just make sure your out by the curb in 10'."

"Yup." Her heart was beating a million times an hour. His past … his future. She grinned – How lucky could she get? It had been a rough ride ever since she'd made the commitment to him. A whirlwind, really. The first problem had been over where to live, because she didn't want to intrude on Kai or Tala's life. Kai had shrugged, smirking. You've already done that. Tala had collected her things, and Ray had helped to move them over. She'd been so relieved to see her old friend again – she'd feared that after the whole ordeal was over, he'd hate her for breaking his friends heart. But as he himself pointed out, Kai was a friend too.

He could never really take sides.

She straightened up, glancing into the mirror to her left. God, she looked awful. A result of having woken up waaay too early. Maybe she should brush her hair, or put some make up on or…

Ring. Ring.

Shit. Who could possibly be calling at this hour. Hilary glared at the phone, and then glanced at the bathroom doorway. She couldn't very well be part of his future if she looked like crap could she? God, if he had any living relatives or friends there in Moscow and she turned up looking like that they'd probably run half a mile in fright. Despite the cold winter.

Ring. Ring.

The bruenette growled and seized the headset up.

"Who is it." She spat, staring at her reflection angrily. Early mornings never had agreed with her.

"Uh, Hilary?" Hilary froze, her hand midway through brushing her bangs back. She knew that voice all too well, but to hear it now? When she was about to go to Russia? She bit down on her lip. Hard.

"Speaking."

The person on the other line sighed in relief. "Thank god. I don't know what I would've down if Kai had picked up." Was it really him? After all this time not seeing him every day, not waking up to him sitting at the end of her bed, grinning at her over a bowl of cereal, not being able to have their little in depth conversations all the time … she simply couldn't believe that he would call her now. She couldn't be sure it was him. He hated her, right? She'd lied to him, left him …

So just to be sure, "Um, sorry for asking, but who is this?"

"Tyson." He sounded surprised and a little hurt she had to ask. "I heard," He paused to draw a long, taxing breath, "I heard that you were leaving to Russia this morning so I thought … I thought I might call. I mean, we haven't talked in so long and I've kind of missed that. But anyway. It'll be my last chance, right? Before you leave, I mean."

"Hi Tyson," Hilary's mind had drawn a blank.

"So how are you, Hilary?" Somehow, calling her Hils like he always used to seemed inappropriate. "I mean, with Kai. Is he treating you okay? God, you're not running off to Russia because he's ditched you and you think he's there, are you? Hilary, that's stupid. If he's runaway from you then he's a stupid arrogant bastard that deserves to rot away in that ice land. Honestly."

He was talking in fast bursts, as if he feared if he took any longer to say them they might hurt more than he'd anticipated. Hilary smiled, "Thanks Tyson."

The blue haired boy stopped, "Huh?"

"For caring about me. After everything."

"Oh." On his end, Tyson blushed softly. He was glad he was able to do this over the phone, and not in person, because as it was he was a nervous wreck. Not only was his face turning a lovely beetroot colour, but he'd been forced to sit on one of his hands in a vain attempt to stop them from shaking. He was surprised she could still hear him over the sound of the handset gently tapping his ear every two seconds.

"And he hasn't left me or anything… We're just going to Russia for a bit of a vacation," She laughed in spite of herself, "If you could call it that. We should be back in a week or two, so we can meet up then, ok?" She fidgeted with the phone call, wrapping it around her fingers tightly. "That's only if you want to, of course."

"That would be good." Yeah, if he'd managed to compose himself by then. The very thought of her going away with Kai somewhere for two weeks –sharing a room, sharing meals… sharing a life- still made him sick to the stomach. He still hadn't accepted the fact that she loved the former team captain and not him, but he had somehow convinced himself that either way, love wasn't something that couldn't be controlled. She couldn't help falling for Kai anymore than he could help still yearning for her. Holding a grudge seemed stupid.

Love was fate. And if she wasn't destined to be with him … then she wasn't. Tyson was sure he'd find The One for him eventually.

"Hilary!"

Tyson's hand clenched around the phone, "Is that him?" He forced out between clenched teeth. Fucking Kai. Even if Tyson could forgive Hilary for it, he wasn't sure if he'd ever stop being mad at Kai. If only he hadn't come back…

Hilary glanced down at her finger, which had slowly begun to turn purple. She quickly untied it. "Uh, yeah." She replied sheepishly, "I think I should probably leave now, we have to be an hour early and –"

"I understand." He sighed, "I guess I'll see you when you come back then?"

"Yeah, for sure."

"Well… See ya."

"Bye,"

Click.

"Hilary! We don't want to be late okay? Get down here!" Demanding as always. Hilary smiled contently to herself. Maybe things would turn out okay for the Bladebreakers after all. Maybe there was still a chance of them reuniting one day – Half way through opening the front door, she froze, a wave of nausea hitting her like a tonne of bricks. She blinked, hard, looking hard at Kai who stood in front of her, arms crossed. Was she going to throw up?

Kai seemed to sense something, because a look of concern suddenly clouded his features.

She was.