Title: How Much For Happy

Chapter Title: Not Yours Truly

Author: cherryXbomb

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, nor Manny Santos. I don't own the song Not Yours Truly nor the CD How Much for Happy. I only own the series that I'm writing and since I'm using other people's things… I'm not sure I own that.

Author's Note: The song is Not Yours Truly from Cassie Steele's CD How Much for Happy. This whole series is just POV pieces from different Degrassi characters and different ships using the entire How Much for Happy CD. I'd suggest that you check out the CD or at least the song because it's beautiful!

Summary: I'm not cute little Manny Santos anymore. I'm hot and all the guys know it… even Craig.

Watch me, as I'm coming in the room I feel your stare

Watch me, in a crowd of people I can feel you there

Watch me, cause I'm mine and you don't own me

Watch me, I'll use you and abuse you then leave you lonely

I always lived in Emma Nelson's shadow. She was my best friend and for some reason, I was always viewed as only her best friend. That changed though. I joined Spirit Squad and came out from under her shadow a little bit. Then Craig Manning became interested in me, though he dumped me for being too young after one date. That was the catalyst in my life. After Craig dumped me for being too young, I decided to make my image sexier. I'm not cute little Manny Santos anymore. I'm hot and all the guys know it… even Craig.

Watch me

Touch me

I know you want me

I'm so sexy

I see how Craig looks at me. He undresses me with his eyes whenever I walk into a room. He won't admit it though. He will not admit that he made a mistake last year. That I had grown up over the summer and suddenly, I wasn't the cute little girl that reminded him of his half-sister. And though he won't admit that he's into me, I can see it.

But it's not as if he can admit that he's into me. He has Ashley and I know how she is. She controls him and plays him hot and cold. One day he'll see her for what she is. She's a control freak who has someone to control. But she isn't doing that good of a job. Because he doesn't want her half the time. I can tell because I see it in his eyes. He wants me. He didn't want cute Manny. He wants hot Ashley. And I'm going to make him realize that he wants me more.

Don't expect too much from me

I'm not your little girl

Don't expect too much from me

Cuz I'm not your little girl

I'm not yours

I'm not your

I'm not your little girl

Mama and Papi don't like my new look. They don't approve of my new clothes, my hair, or my make-up. They want me to always be little Manuella Santos who was always dressed modestly. They want the old me that thought that thongs looked incredibly uncomfortable and was afraid to go commando. They want my devout Catholicism and they don't want me to be who I am now. They don't want the girl in the low rider jeans and the tube tops with the curly hair. They want the girl who wore leggings that didn't suit her and hair styles that looked as though they belonged to a seven year old. They wanted the old me. But that isn't me.

Papi went as far as to call the priest to discuss my sinful nature. I had to listen to a lecture about promiscuity and modesty. I honestly felt as though I were in a Charlie Brown cartoon because I didn't care about what they were saying. I was just hoping to get out of there in time to go to the rave with Emma.

I don't think Emma even likes the new me. I can tell that she thinks it is too much. She is always about the modesty and the substance over style. But she's always had a boyfriend. She's always had Sean until just recently. And now she's caught the eye of Chris Sharpe. She just doesn't understand. But it doesn't matter to me. Mama, Papi, and Emma don't matter. Sully matters. Craig matters. The hatred, the jealousy, the threats of hell… they are all worth it. I could listen to threats of eternal damnation all day if it meant just one look from a guy that didn't acknowledge me prior to my new look.

Touch me, yeah I know you want to but you know you can't

Touch me, I get more satisfaction with my own hands

Touch me, yeah I know you like it when I scream your name

Touch me, yeah you know I'd let you but you'd go insane

After Paige's party, I lost my virginity to Craig. I'd see him in the halls with Ashley and I'd see how he'd look at me. He never knew that I watched him that closely, but I did. Of course, he always had Ashley glued to his side after that moment. Even though I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to kiss me, he couldn't. Ashley wouldn't let him. Which is why I went to the rave with Emma. I went under the façade of helping Emma get Chris, but in all reality, I was hoping that Craig would be there without Ashley. I just needed one more kiss from him.

I know that he needs one more night with me. His secret smiles in the hall tell me that. They tell me that he wants to feel my lips upon his and my tongue in his mouth. They tell me that he wants to touch me but he can't. I can tell that it's driving him crazy to pretend to be into Ashley when all he does is look at me.

Watch me

Touch me

I know you want me

I'm so sexy

Then finally came the rave. I watched as Craig came into sight, without Ashley and I approached. We danced and I could see lust in his dark eyes. But he couldn't admit it. He wanted to stay loyal to Ashley, but more than anything he wanted to have another round with me. I promised that I could keep a secret and we went back to Emma's house. But we never got to go all the way because Emma came home before we could. She was so angry to find me in her bed with a guy. Instead of asking the usual girly questions that friends are supposed to ask, she became the self-righteous girl that I've always known. And a few days later, I had lost my best friend.

Don't expect too much from me

I'm not your little girl

Don't expect too much from me

Cuz I'm not your little girl

I'm not yours

I'm not your

I'm not your little girl

Craig and I dated for awhile, but he was still with Ashley. Then he was supposed to break up with her but didn't. Finally, Ashley and I agreed on one thing. We both dumped him. But unfortunately, it didn't last. I ended up getting pregnant. I decided I was too young for a baby. Craig wasn't ready and that baby would've had the worst life ever. I had an abortion.

A year later I realize that I was stupid back then. I was only fourteen when I had my abortion. I was so young. Emma and I are cool again, though she has made some huge mistakes lately. She also really hurt me a week ago. She mentioned my abortion, which had become a taboo subject for us. But I have forgiven her. Just like she forgave me for being so stupid last year. Craig broke my heart and called me a mistake. He got back with Ashley.

Now I'm not only the hot girl though. I'm the one leading the Spirit Squad while Paige is out frolicking with Mr. Oleander. I got Spinner from Paige even though that didn't last long. He turned into someone completely evil and he wasn't the guy I thought he was. But now I get what I want, whatever it takes.

Everyone knows I'm no longer a little girl. I'm Manny Santos and I know what I want. My looks are one means to get it. I believe that the end justifies the way that you do something and I don't care what it takes. When I want something, I'm going to get it no matter the cost. I'm Manny Santos and, contrary to popular belief, I'm not the school slut.