Chris: Well, I'm back! With the 5th chapter and the beginning of the semi-scary stuff! And then the plot will be revealed! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Rebecca: Not like it's a really good one.
Chris: Hah. Hah. Don't think I have any announcements. Oh yeah, thanks for the suggestions, but I think I'm going to go with my idea. Sorry.
Rebecca: I'm scared.
Farina: You should be.
Chris: Well, reader reviews now.
icebornwarrior: Um…Thanks. And you're not fond of Eliwood, are you?
Slapo the True Clown: Thanks for the idea…But that'd just be weird, and I was staying with the idea that Rebecca would have to choose one of them.
The Winged Wolf: Yep. Milk is healthy for you. And I'm glad you're happy for no reason.
K-Girl: I'll keep that in mind when I create the real pairing. Whoops….Just spoiled something. Or maybe not…Mwahahaha.
The Karlminion: And no…I'm not pairing him with Dorcas. That's just wrong. Sorry. And apparently, Daniel Jackson is a famous name. My friend said he got Daniel Jackson from Stargate, not from the 50s.
Kiyoko-chan: Yep, hairspray is evil. And so is Nergal. They both are evil. And don't worry, your brother will find out in this chapter.
I-Am-Erk: Sure, you can join. But you do know I'm on a long break from those, right?
Chris: I don't own Fire Emblem. If you somehow cannot grasp that simple concept, remember this. Marcus actually is a secret king of a land far, far away. He's extremely powerful, but only if you level him up to 20/40.
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'I'm in big trouble….I don't know which one I like the most yet….How can I get out of this situation…' Rebecca looked around and spotted Rath, who was walking towards them. She came up with an idea and hoped it would work.
"Well…Um…Ah…In truth…The person I like the most is…" Rebecca waited until he was within arm's reach. "I like…Rath the most!" She lunged and grabbed Rath's arm. His fangirls moaned in disappointment and moved off somewhere else.
"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!" The loud scream came from Rath, who was looking at a giggling Rebecca like she was insane. Everyone turned as they saw the normally silent nomad yell out various screams of insanity and surprise. Wil and Lowen looked at each other.
"We must band together at this horrid time." Wil looked at Rath and glared.
"Yes…We must find a way to get rid of Rath so he doesn't interfere with our lovely Rebecca anymore. We must…remove him." Lowen drew his sword while Wil drew his bow. However, they quickly hid them as Rebecca flashed a glance at them.
"Yes, my comrade. Rath is intruding on our territory. Come, my brother in love. We must make…plans." Wil and Lowen left for a room and planned on ways to steal Rebecca back from Rath so they could fight each other for her. Rath nervously looked at the room where Wil and Lowen had entered because…well…they really weren't whispering. Actually, everyone had heard them and now they were looking pityingly at Rath. Rebecca was balling her fist and imagining herself beating the crap out of Wil and Lowen.
But back to the party. Lyn and Eliwood had finished their duel and none of them had won, actually. They had gotten tired and entered the party glaring at each other.Now that everyone had gathered there, Lord Uther was bringing in the birthday cake. He was restraining himself from killing the angry MGS fans, who were now content saying, "Look in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Super Uther!"
He placed the cake on a table near the bar and then proceeded beating the crap out of the MGS smart alecks. Hector shrugged and walked up to the table and started waving his hands for silence. No one was paying attention so Eliwood walked up and waved his sword around.
"Shut up or else you're not getting any cake!" That shut everyone up. They all stared up at Hector and rushed up to the cake. Hector was standing in the middle and he started lighting the candles. Everyone was staring, breathless. Hector looked at everyone and lit the next candle. And then…
Eliwood sneezed and Hector had to relight some of the candles again.
"I'm not touching that part of the cake!"
"Same here!"
Eliwood glared at them and resumed his place of honor at Hector's side. Hector was about to blow out the candles when another commotion arose. Some guests were screaming that a zombie was on the loose. Hector sighed and ordered everyone to go check out the commotion.
Earlier, while Hector was getting everything ready, Matthew woke up. He found himself in a dark room and the only light was provided through a small keyhole.
"Ow….Oh…Where am I? Last thing I remember is seeing a shadow come and then I'm here. What am I going to do?!" He started banging on what he thought was the door. "Hey! Let me out!"
"Shut up! You're supposed to be dead!" Someone from outside, probably one of the guests, yelled this back at him and then yelled, "Hah! A flush! I win! I'm the best!"
Matthew sighed. "What am I going to do now…Oh wait. I'm a thief! I've got lockpicks!" He searched through his cloak and his pockets but didn't find any lockpicks. Then he remembered something from long past. "Oh…I am so going to kill Legault! Damn thief! He stole my lockpicks! Oh…I'm so going to kill him!" Matthew punched the door in rage and it opened. "Oh…Son of a…"
The three guests that had tossed him inside the room screamed in horror. "AH! A ZOMBIE!" And then they all ran willy-nilly. Matthew stared at them in amusement and started to steal all of their money that they had left on the table. Well, now back to present time. While Hector and the others were going to investigate this zombie occurrence, Nergal and the other evil people made their move.
"Halt. You people look too evil to be able to enter. I'm sorry, but you can't enter. Well, except for the cute looking twins. Any of you got a girlfriend?" The castle guard winked at Lloyd and Linus and they stared at each other.
"Uh…No."
"Oh! Okay! That's cool! You two may enter! But wait…" She pointed at Linus. "Why do you smell like 5-year-old liver and onions and chicken casserole? And if I'm not mistaken…Tomato juice as well. Something wrong with you?"
"Uh…He just had a big breakfast and his stomach hurts!" Lloyd quickly threw out that bluff and she nodded sagely.
"Ah…You should get some Pepto Bismol for that. And if doesn't help, when you throw up, at least it will look pink and pretty!"
"Right…" Lloyd just led Linus inside the castle while the guard waved good-bye to them.
"Now…Back to you suspicious people…No entry."
Nergal and the others retreated for a while.
"What are we going to do, my lord?" Ephidel looked at Nergal, who was thinking.
"Ah…I've got it! Sonia, give me your raccoon doll!"
"Raccoon doll? Heh heh…I don't have a raccoon doll." Sonia chuckled nervously.
"Give it up. I know you have it."
"You're so mean…Good bye, Mr. Chuckles." She moaned and gave the raccoon doll to Nergal. Everyone stared at Sonia.
"Mr. Cuckles…Right."
"Hey! He was cool!"
"Shut up! We're going again!" Nergal and the others headed back for the main gate. The guard got up and stopped them.
"You again?! Still no entry."
Nergal held up the raccoon doll and waved it in front of the girl's face. "Look at the doll….There is nothing but the doll."
"There is nothing but the doll…I want the doll…The doll is everything…"
Nergal tossed Mr. Chuckles into a couple of bushes and the guard dashed for it. Nergal grinned evilly and they all entered the grand hall…and found it deserted. Apparently, everyone was at the spot where people were screaming about dead people and how the Umbrella Corporation was making money-stealing zombies.
"This was a greeeeaaaat plan, Nergal." Jerme looked glumly at Nergal. "I could have killed people."
"Shut up, Jerme! We shall just hide out and kill anyone who enters! To the bathroom!" With that, Nergal and the others headed for their first ambush point, the bathroom.
While Nergal and his evil company were getting themselves settled, Hector and the others finally were able to locate the disturbance. What they saw were three guests running in terror and Matthew taking money from a table. And naturally, their reaction was, "AHHH! ZOMBIE! KILL IT!"
Canas had a more intelligent reaction. "Hmm…Using the obvious facts in this situation…Matthew is supposed to be dead, but he's here taking money. So that must mean…He must be a zombie!"
Everyone freaked out and started to run around trying to attack him. Guy was the most freaked out, however, and he managed to stab Matthew as he turned around.
"Gah! Dammit! Why the hell are you attacking me?! That hurts!" Matthew groaned in pain and he started to curse.
"Wait…Zombies can't feel pain…Since they are technically dead. So therefore…the only conclusion is….Matthew is alive!"
"I won't be if someone doesn't take out this sword in my gut and heal me!"
Priscilla, who was moping because she had thought Matthew had turned into a zombie, was overjoyed at the news that Matthew might still be alive. She immediately went up, smacked Guy around a little, and healed Matthew while pulling out the sword and throwing it at Guy's feet. While everyone was astounded at this supreme effort of multitasking, Matthew enveloped Priscilla in a hug.
"Thanks Priscilla! You're the greatest!"
Priscilla flushed and hugged him back. "I'm glad you're all right." She began sniffing. "I don't know what I would have done without you…"
Behind their backs, Canas was motioning 1, 2, 3 with his fingers. At 3, everyone else went "AWWWW!" Matthew and Priscilla jumped and spun around to face a grinning group of people.
"You guys really know how to ruin a moment, don't you?" Matthew grumbled angrily. After that, all of them headed back to the main hall for the cake. Except for a guest that had needed to go to the bathroom. The random guest entered the bathroom and just as he was headed for a stall, Jerme stabbed him and started cutting him up into pieces and flushing them down the toilet.
"There goes his arm! And his toe!" Jerme was giggling like a schoolgirl while everyone else was puking in the other stalls.
"Ewww…Jerme…Don't do that." Ursula gagged as she watched him flush down another piece.
"Umm…Ursula…You are aware that this is the boys bathroom, right?" Darin looked at Ursula, who nodded.
"Yeah, you can tell by the smell alone. Don't you guys even get air conditioning in here?! I mean, you don't even have a TV inside! You guys are pathetic."
"Hey! Don't diss the bathroom!"
"Fine, fine." Ursula sulked and began fixing her hair.
Back at the party, Hector was once again getting ready to blow out the candles. Everyone watched as Hector was about to blow out the candles. Just as he was ready, the cake flew up and splattered on his face. Hector could have sworn that he had heard chuckling the moment the cake hit his face. But he was too preoccupied screaming.
"AHHHH! I CAN ONLY SEE IN SEVEN HARSH, FRUITY COLORS!"
Everyone else thought that Hector had just tossed the cake at his own face so he could eat it all. The comments proved that.
"Augh, Hector! Don't be such a pig!"
"Man, what a big, greedy oaf! He's trying to eat the whole cake by himself!"
"I want cake too!"
"You're grounded young man!"
That last comment was so thoughtfully provided by Lord Uther. Anyway, Hector finally succeeded pulling the cake from his face. He was panting and glaring at everyone else, but the effect was kind of ruined because of his cake-covered face. Farina was busy helping him clean off the cake when the lights suddenly went out.
Nils, in trying to keep with the idea that he was a kid, said, "Oh my god! I'm blind!"
Ninian, who was staying with him to make sure he didn't get into a trouble whispered, "Good work Nils. They'll never suspect who we really are…I hope." Out loud, she said, "Nils, Nils. You're not blind. The lights just went out."
"Oh my god! I'm blind and the lights went out!" Nils screamed again.
"Don't push our luck, Nils." Ninian whispered in his ear again and he nodded.
"Sorry, sis."
As soon as Nils said that, the lights went back on. Everyone breathed a silent sigh of relief. Nobody had really moved, except that Wil and Lowen had reappeared and were trying to kill Rath. Of course, they were failing every time because Rebecca kept foiling their plans. In other words, they were staring at her and then she knocked them out.
"Phew…Are we safe?" Matthew stopped kissing Priscilla a moment to look at Hector.
"Hmm…I think so…Well, there could be an earthquake, we could be attacked by evil minion of Nergal, or Eliwood could try to draw his sword!"
"Hey, watch it Hector. I can draw my sword just fine." With that , Eliwood began tugging at his sword. What he didn't know was that Sain and Nils had put glue on his sword and now it was stuck in his scabbard. So, as he was struggling to remove it, everyone else was busy laughing their asses off.
"S-Shut up! I can get my sword out just fine!" With one last, mighty tug, Eliwood pulled the sword free. However, the sweat that had built up from his effort had made the handle slippery, and the sword flew out of his hand and killed a random guest.
"Ah! You've just killed Unnamed Guest #23!"
"Uh…Oops?"
Canas turned around to another group of guests that were standing around and they let out a great , "You tell them, Jellywood!"
Eliwood spun around. "CANAS!"
"I'm sorry. But you've got to admit, it was funny." Canas tried to calm the angry lord but found out it wasn't working. Then he noticed that everyone else was staring at him. "What? Is something wrong with my hair?" They pointed behind him and Canas turned around. He jumped in surprise for behind him were 6 ghosts.
"Ooooh…We're here to haunt you. If you can find us all within 2 days, we'll give you a big treasure. Ooooh." With that, all of the ghosts disappeared.
Matthew perked up and jumped for joy. "Treasure! There's gonna be treasure!"
"Hmm…Okay. There were six ghosts…So we should split up into six teams." Hector immediately took charge but there was a big complaint from the people who made up Eliwood's band.
"Oh no! Oh no! I know where this is going! You guys all take the good characters and all of the sucky characters get left alone and they die!" Geitz grinned. "But we're not falling for it this time!"
Hector nodded. "Very well. Matthew, Oswin, Legault, Heath, Merlinus, Uther, and Dart, come with me!" Hector quickly left the grand hall. After that, everyone quickly made their own groups.
"Hmm…Florina, Fiora, Farina, Guy, Kent, Ninian, and Sain. You guys will come with me, okay?" Lyn headed off in a different direction with her group members.
"Let's see….Nils, Rebecca, Wil, Rath, Renault, Lucius, Nino, and Jaffar. I'll be taking you guys." Eliwood sent his group to a different direction of the castle grounds.
"Erk, Priscilla, Canas, and Serra. You're coming with me. Now." Raven and his group headed outside to check the surrounding area.
"Louise, Pent, Eleanora, and Vaida, I'd like you guys to come with me please." Karla led another group to search the castle.
Geitz looked around and found out that the only people left were members of Eliwood's Band. "Dammit! Whatever! Eliwood's Band! Let's go!"
The only people who didn't go were Athos and Bramimond, because they already knew the identities of the ghosts. So they just sat down at the bar like slobs and started eating candy. What can ya do?
But now, the marbles were set, the journey had begun. Hector had traveled down to the castle dungeons, hoping that he could claim the treasure first. Lyn and her group went for the forest, certain that they would find a ghost hiding in the woods. Eliwood headed out for behind the castle, not wanting to stray too far from the others. Raven led his group to an abandoned cabin near the edge of the castle grounds, hoping that they could find a clue there. Karla and her comrades went to the boiler room, because ghosts love to hide in there. And Geitz and Eliwood's Band grumpily went to the tower, determined to prove that they don't suck.
But what about our evil villains? They were still hiding out in the bathroom, murdering any poor innocent guest that would dare walk inside.
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Rebecca: You really don't care for the guests, do you?
Chris: Nope. Review please!
Mia: This is actually short, for once. Any questions? Comments? Call 1-800-REV-IEW!.