-Going to Las Vegas-
Chapter Two
There is a casino attached to the hotel. The entrance is in the lobby and while Jack walks right past it without noticing he suddenly feels a tug at his hand. Sam has stopped. He tries to remember if they have been holding hands all the way down from his room and feels shocked because it felt so natural, he hardly noticed. Sam lets go of his hand, color rising into her cheeks, avoiding his eyes.
"Don't tell me you're a gambler," he says.
"I'm not. But I like roulette and it is…oh…fifteen years since I've been here last."
"You've been in Vegas before?"
Her hair is loose and she twirls a strand around a finger her gaze fixed on the door that leads to the casino.
"I got married here."
"You did?" he asks, amused.
"Yeah. I was eighteen and my mother was screaming bloody murder because she thought we were far too young. So we thought we'd just go for it and have some fun along the way."
She sighs.
"She was right of course."
Without thinking she takes Jack's hand again, then realizes what she is doing, almost lets go, then thinking that will surely make him notice that something is wrong she pretends it's perfectly normal, holds on and drags him forward.
"Five minutes," she says, "I just want to have a look."
An hour later her face is flushed and she is looking very young while she protects her small pile of chips with both hands.
"What do you think?" she asks Jack who is standing behind her chair.
"Stop while the going is good?" he asks.
"That is advice for people who are playing it safe."
"So you're not?"
"Sometimes you have to take a risk. Put everything on one card. Win or lose. Pick a number, Jack!"
"I will not! I'm not going to be responsible for you losing $300."
"Come on."
Jack is not a gambler. He is not even a man easily making impulsive decisions. It's not that he is not capable of that, but he needs a damned good reason. If he would ask Sam about it, she would say, 'sure you are', remembering the man who out tricked Graham Spaulding and Rick Knowles, only to name a few people who let themselves be deceived by his complacent appearance. She would also remember how he sweet-talked his way into a bookstore she was held hostage in, almost dying from the blood-loss following a gun-shot to her leg. Jack Malone is no gambler, but if the stake is high enough, he can be.
"Come on," Sam says once more.
Jack puts his hands on her shoulders.
"Don't," he says.
"No, Jack," she almost moans.
"Please, Sam."
She holds her hands up in a gesture of surrender and pushes back her chair. The people around her utter sounds of regret.
"Sorry, guys," she says, "I have to do what the boss wants."
They cash in the chips and leave the hotel in search of a good restaurant.
Sam resists the temptation to take Jack's hand again. She suddenly feels closer to him than she has in a long time. She contemplates why he lost interest in her. During their affair she had been so sure he was in love with her, although he never said the words. But later, even after his wife left him, he had always held her at a distance. Sam understands that he had a lot to deal with but still doubts that there are deep feelings left for her. She notices he is still wearing his wedding band. Maybe he just can't let go of his wife.
Several wedding chapels line their way. Sam stops in front of one offering "Special Elvis Weddings", studying the display.
"Whatever that is," she mutters.
"Well, they offer traditional weddings, too," he points out.
"No, thank you. I had me one of those. It didn't work out so well."
"You never really told me what went wrong."
She looks at him smiling wryly.
"You know, I think what goes wrong in most marriages also went wrong in mine. It only did so a lot faster. You have been doing better. Took you twelve years."
"I'm not sure there is anything better about that."
"Still."
"Did you love him?" he asks quietly.
She looks at him.
"Did you love Maria?"
He does not respond for some time. He notices that you can also have a helicopter wedding, whatever that is. Finally he replies:
"I did."
She waits for him to continue but he doesn't go on.
"Well I thought I loved my guy, too. I just found out I was wrong. I've never been good at stuff like that. Falling in love, I mean."
He feels the warmth of good memories spread inside him. She was good at it with him. He had never in his life felt so loved. Now he wonders how deep that really went. Could she have deceived herself into loving him only to find out it was wrong after all? He exhales and it comes out sounding like a sigh.
Sam glances at him out of the corners of her eyes. She can see that he is suffering. He has been suffering for months. There is a part of her that wants to make that right. There is another part that doubts she is the right person for the job.
"It was different with you." Her voice is low.
Jack rubs his eyes. He is not sure he has heard her right. Not daring to look at her he notices that they actually offer Grand Canyon weddings. Now that would be something.
"What was different?" he asks.
She looks at him. His voice sounds so disgruntled that she doubts the wisdom in going on about this subject. She takes in his formal attire, the black suit and tie, the white shirt, the close-cropped salt and pepper hair, the worried expression on his face. His friend Gil was so different, dressed casually, easy-going. He was also, in a strange way, hard to grasp. She thinks he might be just as complicated as Jack once you get to know him.
A small sigh escapes her lips. As complicated as Jack is, after spending a few months in a relationship with Martin who is anything but, she knows that complicated or not she is never going to find someone else like him. In time she will probably fall in love with another guy, maybe even marry, but she will never really get rid of Jack, with his guilt and his passion and his… his…
'Oh my god,' she thinks, 'Oh my god, I'm still so much in love with him. How am I ever going to get over this?'
Jack is still waiting for an answer. The tense look on his face is intimidating and her courage to go on evaporates.
"Nothing," she says.
In that moment, seeing her draw back, Jack at last understands that this is his final call. He can agonize about the break-up of his marriage and about his feelings for Sam for another couple of years, but all that he will accomplish by doing so is losing her. What has he been waiting for? What, the hell, is he still waiting for? As much as he has hurt her and as much as he feels guilty for that and unworthy of her, she is still the one. There will be no one else. And he might not get another chance. He thinks of her sitting at the gambling-table, asking him to pick a number.
"Would you consider marrying again?" he asks.
She shrugs her shoulders.
"If the right guy comes along, why not?"
"Then marry me."
She laughs out loud and glances at his left hand.
"As soon as you take off that ring, I will."
He tries to pull the ring off, struggling for a moment but finally succeeding. He holds it up in front of her eyes. She looks at him. She is still amused.
"You shouldn't be joking about such things, Jack."
He takes her right hand and drops the ring into her outstretched palm.
"You figure out what to do with it."
Sam is stunned. She lifts her head to gaze into his eyes. Jack feels like drowning. It is a rather good feeling.
"I'm not joking."
His voice is shaking.
Sam continues to gaze into his eyes.
Yeah, now he is drowning for sure.
"Oh god, you are serious about this," she finally says. She looks down at the pavement. Jack's heart sinks.
"I don't know what to say, Jack. Why…I mean, why are you asking me? I mean, why are you asking me now…?"
He can only see her blonde head. She is still staring down. After a moment she lifts up her face and the expression in her eyes is fierce.
"You told me it was over. I believed you. So how can you ask me now, out of the blue, if I want to marry you? What is it you're saying?"
He looks stricken and suddenly she is mad at him.
"You told me it was over. You have kept your distance ever since. Now, please, Jack, tell me what's going on!"
He pulls together the rest of his courage. There is not much of that left. He would be entirely capable to rescue her out of a burning building or trade his life for hers, but explaining himself, that is another matter.
"I was lying," he whispers, looking into her blazing eyes, "I needed to give my marriage a chance, so I had to keep you at a distance. But it's not over and I don't want you to be with Martin or take up with anyone else."
He feels her hands on his arms. Confident that he has found the right words he leans closer. Her hands slip around his neck and he expects her to kiss him, but she is merely rubbing her cheek on his and although he wonders what appeal it might have for her to caress his stubbly, late-evening face his knees almost start to buckle. He wraps his arms around her, crushing her to him. Immediately she starts to pull away and he has to let her go, his arms falling to his sides.
She steps back, one hand still cupping his cheek.
"This is way too fast, Jack. You may have been building up to this for a while, but I have not. I realize you are still attracted to me, but marriage…I mean, are you even divorced yet?"
"Came through last week," he mumbles.
She turns back to the wedding chapel display.
"This is not just about attraction," he says, "I love you, Sam."
Sometimes you have to take a risk. Put everything on one card. Win or lose.
She has spoken those words barely ten minutes before and she realizes she has to say yes. He just called out the number, now she has to place her bet. She wants to place her bet, all of it. This is what she has been waiting for. After all he is her knight in shining armor and he will always be, regardless of his bad moods, his haunted past, his guilt-riddled psyche and his habit to leave his wet towels in a heap on the bathroom floor
She turns back to him.
"So…?" she says.
The moment draws out between them.
"Sam." He sounds utterly helpless, his arms hanging limply at his sides.
"Okay."
"Okay, what?"
"Okay, yes."
"You're going to marry me?"
"Yes, I am. It's crazy, but yes, I am."
A beautiful boyish smile spreads across his face.
"You're sure?"
"I said yes, didn't I?"
"Then let's go inside," he says in an unsteady voice.
"This is probably a very bad idea."
"I'm sure it is."
"What is Vivian going to say?"
"Let's call her afterwards and find out."
"Okay."
He wraps his arms around her again. Now she is clinging to him. All thoughts have fled from his brain. He is happy in a way he has never been before.
ooo
The minister sees a man and a woman enter. They look shell-shocked as if something just happened that they did not expect. The minister is not surprised. He has seen a little bit of everything over the years. They also look very much in love. It is radiating from them in waves.
"So, how can I help you people?" he asks and smiles.
"We need to marry," Jack says and almost cringes when he realizes his choice of words.
"Yes, sir, I can see that," the minister says politely, "Right now?"
"Yes, please," Samantha chirps.
The minister checks the book.
"I have an opening in an hour. Business is a little slow today. Would that be convenient for you?"
They nod in unison.
"Then I need the marriage license, please."
They look so crestfallen that he feels sorry for them.
"You need a marriage license. I can not accommodate you without. But you're in luck that you chose this establishment."
He points out on the street.
"The Clark County Marriage Bureau is right across the street. Shouldn't take you more than fifteen minutes this time of day. Afterwards you pick the rings at the jewelers over there and then you come right back. We'll have everything ready for you. With such short notice I'm afraid you can only choose between Elvis and the traditional wedding. Which one shall it be?"
"Sam?"
"Oh, I think I'm going traditional after all."
"You sure you don't want Elvis?"
"Jack!" she says, mock annoyance in her voice.
"Just a thought."
"Traditional it is. I'll expect you back soon." The minister smiles at them. He sees them link their hands and take off hurriedly. These two are not the usual crowd. They look like cops or Federal Agents. Quite unusual. And they're both so eager to get this over with that they're practically running. Very often when people wander in here on impulse one of the partners seems to be pushing. But not those two. He smiles once more, to himself. Customers like that satisfy him deeply. He even thinks in these cases the marriage might hold. Now, that is a good thought.
ooo
Jack's heart is beating fast while they wait for the license. He prays that it will be ready before she changes her mind. He doesn't doubt that she is on the verge of doing just that. When he finally holds the piece of paper in his hands he is surprised that she still hasn't said anything.
Sam, on the other side is convinced that he will have second thoughts any second now. She thinks that he is just not the kind of man for this sort of impulsive decision. Of course, she does not yet know what amount of soul-searching led him here.
The clerk announces that they will have to pay $55 for the license. Jack offers him his credit card.
"I'm sorry, sir," the clerk says, "We don't accept credit cards."
Jack grows pale.
"Why not?"
"You should have checked our website, sir. I have to ask you for cash."
Jack looks at him in despair. He has no more than $10 left in his wallet. Then he feels Sam's comforting touch on his arm.
"I'm rich, sweetheart, remember? Thanks to you."
She pulls out her wallet, thinking that if Jack hadn't stopped her in the casino, she might have no cash left at all.
When they leave the Marriage Bureau Jack takes a deep breath and grins at her:
"God, that was scary."
She reaches up to him, kissing him on the mouth. He responds with delight. Backing down is the last thing on their minds. They grow oblivious of the world around them.
"Jesus, Emily, look at this…," a strange voice intrudes.
They break it off.
"Rings…" she hears Jack mumble.
A man wearing a g-string with a leopard design, high heeled shoes and nothing else passes on the sidewalk in front of them.
Sam giggles.
"That was obviously not meant for us!"
ooo
They pick the rings with care. It takes them longer than planned. On their way back to the wedding chapel they pass a shop displaying summer dresses. Sam stops dead. Jack thinking she has finally changed her mind doesn't dare to look at her.
"Jack?"
"What is it?" he asks in a tightly controlled voice.
She sees his face and tenderly cups it in her hands, searching his eyes, reading his mind.
"I just thought it would be nice to actually marry in a dress. Last time it was jeans and t-shirt and I'm not sure I want to do it in my grey suit this time."
He caresses her neck, lost in her. He would say yes to anything she asks.
There may be several degrees of love. Loving Maria had certainly been one of them. Loving Sam had been another, more intense and more painful. Seeing her come out of the changing room now, wearing a simple but expensive looking dress which leaves her arms bare, clinging beautifully to her body, her hair flowing over her shoulders and realizing that in a very short time she will be his wife, the woman he sees at breakfast every morning and the one he will confide in, trusting her with his soul, Jack feels something swell in his heart that he has never felt before. And, to tell the truth his heart is not the only thing that is swelling.
She steps close to him.
"Do you like it?" she asks, laughter in her eyes because she is already very satisfied with his reaction.
"It's okay," he murmurs, tracing the line of her hips with his hand.
"This is the one, then," Sam says.
ooo
The minister is waiting in the door when they get back to the chapel. He looks relieved:
"I was afraid you guys had chickened out," he says.
ooo
Half an hour later it is done.
"You may kiss the bride."
Jack plants a soft kiss on her lips. Sam is crying.
"Any regrets, sweetheart?" he asks with worry.
She grabs him at the lapels of his black suit, shaking him a little.
"I didn't think you loved me any more."
"I didn't say I did."
"Oh, yes, you did. I heard you. Don't pretend otherwise!"
"Okay, I confess, I do love you. Completely. Please just love me back?"
Her hands slip upwards and around his neck.
"I never stopped. Not when you left your wife without telling me, not when you went back to her after…well…after…" She swallows hard with the memory. He can feel her hands caressing his neck.
"Not when you went to Chicago and not when you didn't leave after all. Not when I was with Martin. You think I would stop now?"
Now she looks at him the way he yearned for. He wonders how she can seem to see through to the deepest recesses of his soul and still love him and still believe in him. He hopes being married to him will not spoil that.
He buries his face in her neck.
ooo
The minister sees them leave. Yes, he thinks, very satisfying.
ooo
Vivian gets a call at four o'clock on the morning. She gropes blindly for the receiver, holding it to her ear, expecting some sort of emergency.
"Vivian, hi, it's Jack" a familiar voice says.
Vivian frowns with worry.
"Jack, hi, what's wrong?"
"I got married."
"What? To whom?"
"Sam."
He is chuckling happily down the line and Vivian is instantly alarmed. She has known him for what – 15 years, give or take and he has never, ever in all that time sounded like that. She assumes that he has finally snapped. He is probably having a nervous breakdown in progress. With all the things he went through in the past years and considering that he takes everything to heart, she is not surprised.
"Jack?" she says, hearing only a snort in return, "Is Samantha there?"
"Of course."
"Let me talk to her!" she demands.
"She wants to talk to you, sweetheart."
"I bet!"
Sam is on the phone.
"Hi, Vivian," she says. Her voice is happy like birdsong in the morning.
"Samantha, what is happening?"
"We got married." She laughs.
"You did what?"
"We got married," Sam explains patiently, "Jack proposed in front of one of those wedding chapels. I didn't have the heart to say no. Vivien, I know this must come as a shock, but we are really married."
Vivian does not know what to say. She is at a complete loss of words. Her husband is stirring beside her. Strangely enough she feels as if a great weight has been lifted from her chest.
"Oh, Sam, I don't know what to say. I didn't see that coming. What happened?"
She hears Sam's voice, sounding concerned:
"Vivian? We are so happy."
"Me too, sweetie, me too, I'm just speechless. How is Jack doing?"
"Well, he's smiling. He's looking happy. He better be. Ahhh…he can't keep his hands off me. Sorry Vivian."
"It's okay, sweetie. You just keep him smiling. And listen to me… Any thoughts you might have of annulling the marriage in the morning come and talk to me first."
"Jack," she hears Sam's amused voice, "Vivian thinks we might want to annul this once we come to our senses."
"Tell her our senses have left and are never coming back. No, tell her it was the only thing making any sense –uh, am I making any sense here?"
Vivien hears the bed creak and a small shriek from Sam. She smiles. She has the feeling that everything will be all right
ooo
Jack wakes in the dawn. He is happy and rested and those feelings are so unusual for a moment he wonders what happened. Then he feels Sam's warm body stirring beside him and a joy floods him so strongly that for a moment he can hardly breathe. He pulls her closer, drinking in her scent, her awakening body, her voice murmuring:
"Jack, sweetheart, good morning."
Total bliss.
ooo
The steady sound of the plane's engines is making Jack drowsy. Sam watches him. His eyes are slipping shut again. He looks so completely relaxed. She cannot take her eyes of him. After a while he notices and grins.
"What are you looking at?"
"You. You are beautiful."
"That should be my line, and you must be mistaken, I'm certainly no beauty."
"To me you are."
ooo
Vivian watches them enter the office. They walk a few feet apart but that does not help much. Danny notices instantly, leaning back in his chair, twiddling his pen in his fingers and raising his eyebrows:
"What happened to you guys? Won a million bucks?"
"No…" Sam answers, smiling brightly.
"So you found the girl?"
Danny is instantly sorry for asking. Both their faces cloud over.
"No," Jack says somberly, "That was a dead end."
He sits down at the conference table, trying to look as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. But his face gives him away. Danny is riveted. His boss is happy. That much is obvious. Jack is happy.
Vivian is trying to look busy with some papers she finished an hour ago.
Sam sits down across from Jack, shooting him a bright smile.
Danny comes over, leaning on the table looking at each of them in turn.
"Whatever it is, you better tell me now or you're going to be sorry. What happened…?"
THE END