Disclaimer:

I own a computer and a internet connection, but not Xanth. Piers Anthony owns Xanth, and he probably owns a computer and an internet connection too.

Chapter Five

The Magic Path

X(A/N)th was beginning to get annoyed with that lesser demon. The contest rules had clearly stated that the lesser creature provided by E(A/R)th had to stay for at least ten days, and he had almost chased her away in the first ten minutes. You can be sure X(A/N)th would have eliminated him, had it not been for Chlorine's intervention.

"I know he had almost ruined it for you, Nimby," she had said "but he did stop her with that dime"

He didn't need a dime to stop anyone with. But he had agreed to the rules, and they clearly stated that he could not intervene until the very end. He focused his perception on Kassie. She had just reached the fork in the Path and was reading the signs which pointed to the Isthmus and Black Wave villages.

Kassie, who was beginning to think this might all be a dream, considered the signs, she knew nothing about either village, and the manual and not given her anymore information than that which was obvious. She chose the Black Wave village, because it was closer. As she walked she read the flora and fauna manual, attempting to identify as many plants and animals as she could. She had been thankful for the paths magical protection when she identified a fire-breathing dragon, a tribe of goblins, and a flock (was that the word for it?) of harpies. However she had also identified black berries which turned her completely black, Oranges which turned her orange, blue berries which made her feel blue, and grapes that made her feel just grape. The puns here were really annoying. Fortunately the effect of each berry only lasted for a few moments. She would have picked a cluster of grapes to eat along the way except the one she'd tried had turned her purple. She decided not to try the trembling yellow berries, as she was certain they would only make her jumpy and D. Meanor had done that already.

"Hello again," said Meanor as he appeared. "Try a cheery," he picked a small red berry she had taken for a cherry and popped it in her mouth before she could stop him.

"Would you go away?" she asked cheerfully.

He pretended to consider this "No."

She would have sprayed him with the d. R. but she was just too cheerful. "I would really appreciate it if you left"

"And I would really appreciate seeing more of you." he said as he ate some grapes, the effect made him look as though he had fallen in a vat of wine.

"I wish I weren't so cheerful," she informed him cheerfully "or I'd slap you for that comment."

"Maybe since you're so cheerful, you'd prefer a smack." he puckered as if for a kiss.

"Okay," she said cheerfully "but there's just one itsy little problem?"

"What's that?" he asked.

"The effect of that cheery has worn off." she did not say this cheerfully.

"Oh," he said unpuckering.

"Now," she continued "you have two choices; either you leave or I spray you with the can of 'd. R.' Chim gave me"

"It won't work." he informed her.

"And why not?" she aimed the nozzle at him.

"Because, I stuck a piece of reverse wood on the can with some day-glue, while you weren't watching." he informed her "it won't come off for an entire day."

"What in the world is 'reverse wood'" she demanded angrily.

"It reverses every thing it touches," explained Meanor "so now instead of repelling demons it will attract or summon them."

"Then why didn't it reverse you while you were handling it?"

"I reversed that piece of reverse wood with another piece of reverse wood"

"Some how, I don't believe you." she sprayed him with the d. R., but something was wrong. For one thing it smelled different, a bit like rotting meat, and Meanor was still there.

"See," he said as another demon appeared "Oh, hi, Professor."

"Give me that!" said the new demon snatching the can from her hands. "It should be obvious, even to this mortal," he said to D. Meanor as he pulled off the reverse wood (by attempting to press it more firmly to the can it appeared) "why you failed my class!" then he handed the can back to Kassie and disappeared.

"Wow! Thanks!" she said and sprayed Meanor with the 'd. R'.

Authors Notes:

1.Anyone who does not recognize Professor Grossclout is to march immediately to the blackboard and write 'I have a mind full of mush' one hundred times. Oh, and you will be required to retake his frosh-student class, unless you have been otherwise banned.

2.Thanks again for reviewing Sis. Now somebody else review.

3.Sorry this chapter is so short.