Chapter Title: Drink Me Dry
Author: cherryXbomb
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or the characters Jay Hogart or Alex. I don't own the song Drink Me Dry nor the CD How Much for Happy. I only own the series that I'm writing and since I'm using other people's things… I'm not sure I own that.
Author's Note: The song is Drink me Dry from Cassie Steele's CD How Much for Happy. This whole series is just POV pieces from different Degrassi characters and different ships using the entire How Much for Happy CD. I'd suggest that you check out the CD or at least the song because it's beautiful!
Summary:
Candy coated deathLined with crystal meth
How it takes my breath away
It's like suicide
To look into your eyes
That's where my secrets lay to die
I cannot believe that he'd do that! I mean, Jay cheated on me. Not only did he cheat, he serial cheated. One time is bad enough, but multiple times, with multiple girls… including my best friend. He's the only guy that I've ever loved and he hurt me so much. He knows all my secrets, he knows more about me than anyone in the world ever has. I know I probably sound like Paige but I feel like I'm going to die without him. He's just been a constant.
And I feel my body perish in your arms
All the pain I felt is
We never said the love thing. It wasn't our style. But I know that I loved him more than anything pretty much. We were the bad asses and the king and queen of that group. Everyone knew us and feared us. And I never felt safer than when I was in his arms. It was so hard to admit that we were over. That he never loved me as much as I loved him.
Take my life
Drink me dry
Eat my soul from the inside out
Swallow me
All of me
Suddenly my veins run dry
He had my soul and he crushed it into nothing. He didn't ever care. Otherwise he wouldn't have hooked up with Amy… or any of the other skanks down at the ravine. I feel like I could go and beat up every single one of them and still not feel better. I still wouldn't feel as though I'd accomplished anything. I feel like I have just stopped existing without him. I feel like he's killed me by heartbreak.
Six feet underground
How'd you like me now
I have set my pain at ease
Now leave my heart alone
With all my rotting bones
So my soul may rest in peace
And he still wants back into my good graces. No way. That is never going to happen. I have new friends now and I have a new life… one that he will never fit into. I don't care if he became the freaking Prime Minister but he's never getting back into my life. I hate him with everything in me. I didn't think that it was possible to hate anyone this much. I think I hate him more than Amy because I half expect stuff like this from Amy because she's a slut. He's supposed to be better than her.
And I feel your lips taste me one last time
All the pain I felt is
I've woken up so many nights crying and thinking that I felt his lips on mine, only to find out it was a dream. I won't admit that to anyone. Poor little Alex, crying over some cheating bastard. That isn't going to happen. I'm hard, I don't care. Isn't that what everyone always thinks about me? That I'm uncaring and hurtful. Well, they can think that because I don't care. I don't care about Jay Hogart. I don't care about the pain inside of me that's tearing me apart. I just don't fucking care.
Take my life
Drink me dry
Eat my soul from the inside out
Swallow me
All of me
Suddenly my veins run dry
I don't think I'll ever feel better. No matter how many drugs I take to numb the pain. No matter how many blood drives I help Marco organize or how many jokes about plastic cheese that I make with Paige. There's nothing that can make me feel better. No one can make me feel better. I miss Jay and I hate it. I hate him but I still love him. I just have to deal with it though because we weren't that good together anyway. After all, he's a cheater and I'm the student council VP.