Disclaimer: OldXanth readerfrom way back has informed me that I can't own an internet connection; it's owned by the ISP. I DON"T OWN XANTH EITHER. PIERS ANTHONY OWNS XANTH. I do own two or three other fictional worlds but this isn't a cross over piece so you won't hear about them here.

Chapter Six

Meeting the Natives

"That's funny," thought Kassie "I don't remember there being a forest in the middle of the city." She looked around at the enormous woods which seemed to go on forever and ever. It seemed like there was no end to them; which meant they were probably an optical illusion. If she tried touching one of them, her hand would pass right through it. She reached for a tree growing in the middle of the path and felt rough bark as she touched it.

She sighed. Of course they were going to put real trees in the middle of the path where guests would be likely to brush up against them as they walked.

Speaking of guests; she realized there should have been more people filing in by now. But where were they? Certainly this was not an exclusive offer for her alone. She leaned against the tree to wait for the others. A minute passed; five Minutes; ten minutes and still no one came.

It was getting to be the hottest part of the day and she was thirsty. She hadn't brought anything to drink because she had thought there would be booths set up to sell refreshments. She was disgusted. This place was pretty but it was the worse park she had ever been to as far as basic amenities. She had been walking for fifteen minutes and she hadn't even seen a restroom. And what if someone got lost? Or needed directions? There were no information booths anywhere. And for that matter; what kind of amusement park didn't have any amusements?

She had made up her mind. She was going to march right back to the entrance and tell Chim, or what ever his real name was, that he should climb out of that ridiculous costume and get a real job.

But first she really wanted a drink. She looked around, there had to be something.

Ah! Yes there was. A spring. It was probably for decorative purposes and not to be drunk from, but she was getting dehydrated. She waked over to the side of the path to get a better look at it. It was about five feet into the woods. She stepped off the path, scraping her knuckle against on a tree as she did so.

She put the wounded joint to her lips and bit back a scream. Well, the trees near the path were real; maybe the spring was too. She walked toward it but stopped within a foot.

There was something wrong with that spring, something very wrong. For one thing, why was the vegetation around it so withered? Had the grounds keepers just missed it? Hardly likely, it was probably contaminated. This was just one more reason she should leave now.

Two 'somethings', which she later identified - using the guide to flora and fauna - as flying mice, flew past her ear and landed in the spring. Instantly the two creatures turned and lunged for each other. Kassie screamed as they tore at each others throats. She definitely did not want to drink from that spring now.

As the mice died so did her screams, but the laughter behind her did not.

It was a sinister, mocking laughter that chilled her to the spine. Nervously, remembering the warning sign at the beginning of the path, she turned around.

There, blocking her way back to the path, were about twenty or thirty grubby little manlike things too small and skinny to be midgets in costumes. She tried to scream again but couldn't. So she turned to run the other way but the rest of the group had surrounded her.

"Hey Boy's laughed one of the creatures "Fancy some 'mundane stew'?"

The group laughed at this hideous pun.

"I dunno, chief," laughed another "I don't like boring food!"

Again they laughed.

"That's why you don't like nickelpede sandwiches" laughed the first, who was joined once again by the others.

"Let's have some fun with her" suggested the second.

"Yay!" shouted the group

"Alright," said the chief "she looks like she's game."

Snickering giggles came from the others

"A little too gamey, if you ask me," laughed the second "let's throw her in the spring with a mirror."

The crowd cheered, and Kassie cringed. This was not funny.

"No!" said the first "I'm in charge, and I say we make stew!"

"Yay! Stew!" shouted the crowd

"I say we throw her in the spring and watch her tear herself to pieces" said the second.

"Yay!" cheered the others again.
"Wait," said the chief "we can have both! Heat the pot and don't let her get away!" Kassie had tried escaping through an opening in the crowd but some of the things grabbed her as she ran past, digging their sharp fingernails into her as they did so.

"Ouch!" she protested, and they laughed.

"Where's a mirror? Get her in the stream!"

"Hey!" she shouted as the struggled "I think this joke's gone far enough." Then she noticed that some of them had produced a huge cauldron that they were starting a fire under. "Oh! &!" she screamed "They're serious!"

"Course we're serious!" laughed the Chief "Hurry and get her in the spring!" and the creatures holding on to Kassie dragged her with even more force.

"Oh #$," swore Kassie "This had better work!"

"What had better work?" sneered the chief.

"This," gasped Kassie and then shouted "Up!" at the dirty little man.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" laughed the chief "The Mundane thinks she can...Hey!" His face took on a look of panic as he realized that he was already two feet above the ground. "Get me down! Get me down!" The others clung to the legs of their chief attempting to pull him back to land, even those holding Kassie had released her to help.

"Up!" she shouted again "Up! Up! Up! Up! Up!" Soon she had the entire group of them floating above the trees and rising fast.

She stared at the creatures in horror as she realized they had not been attached to wires. Her magic talent was real and so was the rest of the magic here. Chim had been a real centaur and not some guy in a costume. And … She dug out the d.R. and sprayed the air around herself; banishing the thought.

"I'm getting out of here!" she screamed as she darted back to the path and sped down it as quickly as her legs could carry her. She was exhausted and gasping for breath when she came upon a sign. She leaned against it and read.

NORTHERN BLACK WAVE VILLAGE

VILLAGE LIMITS

"Oh, no!" she cried. She had been heading away from the exit instead of toward it. She collapsed in the middle of the path. This had to be the worst amusement park, if that was what it was, she had ever been to. She was tired. She was thirsty. She was hungry. And she was sick of it!

"Well," she said to herself "I'll rest here for a minute. Then I'll see if this 'Northern Black Wave Village' is a place where I can buy food and drink before I leave."

Authors Notes:

I'm so sorry that it took me forever and six months to write these most recent chapters. I have been preparing to reenter the local brain coral pool - I mean university, as an archaeology student. Thank you, to everyone who is still reading my stuff, for being patient.

To Some Grammatical Genius:

I updated! Aren't you proud of me?

Thank you for the compliments about my writing

Yes this really is my first fan fiction piece. Note that I say Fan Fiction. Although I have done some original fiction and poetry before this - sorry I have never submitted any of it for publication. I'm not certain how my work would be accepted. Since I am your typical artist, and can't bear rejection, think of this as an experiment; if people like my fan fiction I may try to publish some of my more original work :-D. We'll see. Thank you for the compliment. Double :-D

To OldXanth readerfrom way back:

Thank you for pointing out my mistake on the disclaimer.

I also have read most of the Xanth books (up to "Up in a Heaval") and I agree with you that keeping to Cannon makes the most enjoyable stories. I actually went back and reread most of the books, and I frequently visit Mr. Anthony's Xanth based web site to make sure I'm getting it right.

Thank you for the comment about my writing abilities. As I mentioned earlier, to Some Grammatical Genius, I have some original work I have been thinking about publishing.

I come from an analytical family with a twisted sense of humor. Comments like yours are normal, to me. So don't worry about it.

Yes I would like to have you as a beta reader. I'll email you.

4. To LockeetDemosthenes: I'm glad you don't think my story is a waste of time, thank you.