Alright you guys, here it is. Sorry about the wait, school and all that. Don't worry, the good stuff is coming up soon, the next chapter or so.
Disclaimer: FOX owns House, I own their thoughts….don't I wish.
Sighing, Cameron finished moving her stuff back into the office. It wasn't much, just things that were too heavy to be brought like most of her other stuff in the mornings when she came for work, . She would have done it last night, but The Date took precedence. No, yah think?
Damn, now she was snarking at herself. A humorless grin graced her face. She had been spending way too much time around House…and yet, not nearly enough. Shoulders slumping briefly, she tried not to replay the night before in her head. It was a lost cause, just like all the other times that day when she had tried to block the memories. She sighed and let them come.
" We're in a restaurant, we're dressed up, we're eating. If not small talk, what is there?" House glanced around, looking everywhere but her face even when he had finished his sentence, obviously uncomfortable but doing his best to hide the fact.
Sighing, she looked down at the wine list. After a few very long moments of silence, she glanced up and saw him making bored faces as he looked around the dining room. He obviously wasn't going to say anything. Thinking of Wilson's worry that she would break House's heart, and House's no in the hallway, Cameron decided to let him in on her theory. Putting the wine list down, she started with her Psych 101.
" According to Freud, and I'm paraphrasing," House gave her a look, but she ignored him and kept on. " instinct of love toward an object demands a mastery to obtain it, and if a person feels they can't control the object or feel threatened by it, they act negatively toward it. Like an eighth-grade boy punching a girl." She rolled her eyes at this example, but it was the best she could come up.
House had a slightly amused look on his face " I treat you like garbage, so I must really like you." The look on his face said that he was humoring her. " Given your Freudian theory, what does it mean if I start being nice to you?" He was daring her to come up with an answer.
" That you're getting in touch with your feelings." She did her best to keep her face blank, but she wasn't sure if she succeeded
" Hmm." He gave a small laugh." So there's absolutely nothing I can do to make you think that I don't like you." He was mocking her.
She laughed then. " Sorry, no." She was grinning, refusing to take umbrage at his tone, knowing if she did he would use it against her. House gave a big sigh. She could see a decidedly Housian comment coming, so she decided it was now or never. Her voice now serious, she looked him in the eye. " I have one evening with you, one chance, and I don't want to waste it talking about what wines you like or what movies you hate." She paused, gathering herself for that final leap. " I want to know how you feel…" She knew her uncertainty was showing in her eyes, but she couldn't help herself. " about me."
House glanced down and something made her heart start to sink.
" You live under the delusion that you can fix everything that isn't perfect." He brought his head up to look at her, and there was a tiny self-mocking smile on his face. He looked down again. " That's why you married a man who was dying of cancer." He glanced back up. " You don't love, you need. And now that your husband is dead, you're looking for your new charity case." he paused, and the twinge in her heart grew stronger.
" That's why you're going out with me. I'm twice your age, I'm not great looking, I'm not charming, I'm not even nice." His voice was sad but resigned, utterly convinced of his words. " What I am is what you need. I'm damaged." Not once did he look at her while he was talking, looking up at her only in the pauses. When he had finished his frank gaze and the total confidence he had in his conclusion of her motives stunned her. Is that what he thought? That she wanted to fix him? One look at his face told her trying to argue the point would be useless, so she left it alone.
A day and too many useless reruns later had her thinking that maybe she shouldn't have let it drop. Maybe she should have argued with him. She was known for just deferring to House, maybe the shock of her actually disagreeing would have gotten an honest to God reaction out of him. At least then she wouldn't keep seeing the resigned look on his face as he sat across from her at the table. As if he wasn't even going to bother giving them a chance. Always right as a doctor by no means equates to always right as a person. And it hadn't even occurred to her until later that he hadn't answered her question.
Still occupied with her thoughts, Cameron was startled to hear music. Looking around, she saw House still in his office. He had something in his hands, but she couldn't see what he was looking at. The music was coming from his iPod.
I'm broken don't break me
When I hit the ground
Some devil some angel
Has got me to the bones
You said always and forever
Now I believe you baby
You said always and forever
Is such a long and lonely time
She raised an eyebrow. House was listening to Dave Matthews? Some Devil was a break-up song if there ever was one, so why the hell was House playing it? And what was he still doing here? Harvey was fine, if majorly disappointed that his parents hadn't stuck around to see how the surgery went.
Knowing he couldn't see her, she took her time looking at him, just letting various thoughts go through her mind. His shoulders were slumped, and he somehow seemed dejected. She snorted mentally. House? She could almost believe nothing touched that man. Cameron had no idea why he thought himself damaged, he had an ego big enough to float the Titanic. Anyway, there was no point in psychoanalyzing House, it would just give her a headache. As she watched, House turned his head, looking out into the hall way. Cameron moved back a few steps slowly, not wanting him to see her watching him.
House grimaced as Wilson entered the office. She felt slightly guilty about eavesdropping, but the opportunity was too good to pass up.
AN: Just in case it wasn't obvious (and for those of you who didn't catch it), I'm using scenes from Love Hurts to help set the plot, give insight into what the characters were thinking, etc. That is why the first two chapters are so short. The "original" work will be up soon. Although, since they don't tell you what the characters are thinking, most of what's up already is pretty original.
This is the last chapter that'll rely mainly on scenes from the episode, so for all of you who can't wait for the good stuff...stick around, I'm happy to oblige.