Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters...though I wish I did.

Pairings: maybe kakairu later...

Setting: right after chapter 64. Iruka goes back to the village and wanders into the gaveyard.

Sea of Tears

Throat closing

Tears rising

A dull ache in my chest

Memories from long ago

Flash behind my eyes

No family

No friends

No more hope left for me

The one I cared for

Doesn't want me anymore

I'm alone again

Working only to keep occupied

No purpose to life

No direction to walk

The shadows now live in my smile

The smile that once lit up for you

But you're gone

You've left me

There are other ones for you

There is no one for me

I'm alone again

I tried to reach out

Tried to pretend

But you called me out

And shattered my hopes

But it's ok

You cannot break what has already been broken

I don't want to be fixed

I've tried that before

It doesn't work...

I'm alone again.

Iruka looks up suddenly at the sound of someone clearing their throat. He was thankful for the rain that had started to fall, for it washed away the tears that were even now leaking from his dark brown eyes. He was in the graveyard. By their grave. His parents' grave. His gaze rests for a moment on the names etched into the cold stone before raising his eyes to meet those of...

Kakashi. Hatake Kakashi.

The last person on earth he wanted to see right now. But it didn't matter. His life couldn't get any worse than it already was unless Kakashi wanted to kill him. Then again, that might actually be a good thing. It sounded good at least. Especially with the way he was feeling right now.

Kakashi suppresses his shock at the state of the chunin before him. It was fairly obvious that he had been crying. He had seen Iruka mad before and even happy once...but never had he expected to see him like this. He was in a truly terrible state: soaked head to toe, mud splattered up to his knees, headband slipping into his eyes and strands of hair plastered themselves to his face and neck. But the worst of all was his eyes. Kakashi had not seen eyes like that since the last time he looked into a mirror over two years ago. The eyes that threatened to let go of everything. The hallow sadness that seemed to flow from the eyes faster than tears. What had happened? Why was Iruka this way?

Iruka didn't care anymore. With the rain, the rejection, and the eyes of the one he detested most covering him, he knelt down in front of the grave, knees squelching in the mud. Slowly, with fingers trembling, he untied his headband and placed it on top of the stone. Then reaching up again, he let down his hair, tangled ebony locks covering his eyes. Finally, his vest. He had worked so hard to earn that vest, but it all seemed pointless now.

The copy ninja was torn between horror and tenderness. Horror at what Iruka was implying by his actions-that he was either giving up being a ninja, or his life; and tenderness-the sadness in his eyes begged for relief and with his hair down and shirt plastered against him-he looked like a child. Kakashi longed for a way to comfort this poor forlorn chunin. But he knew that he could not embrace this one just yet.

"Why?"

The single word hung in the air and froze Iruka with one hand outstretched to the grave.

Why?

That single word, spoken with such unveiled concern caught him completely off guard. Could it be that he cared? Even if only a little...no...surely he just thought the he had lost his mind or something.

Iruka raised his eyes and tried to look behind the mask-to see what his motives where. But the mask did not move and no expression at all could be found on Kakashi's face.

"Does it matter?" he shot back, eyes dropping down to the grave once more. He couldn't stand being here with him any longer. Standing up, Iruka cast Kakashi a cold glare and started to walk away.

"Just because you can't be his teacher, doesn't mean you can't be his friend." Kakashi calls after him. He didn't want Iruka to go.

Those words cut deep. They were true...weren't they? No, it wouldn't work. Naruto had other friends now...he wasn't needed. Their relationship had gone from teacher-student to almost that of brothers. But Iruka always thought of Naruto as a little brother...yeah...that had been nice while it lasted.

But as Naruto himself said: "I'm no longer an academy student!...I'm not a kid anymore! Now...I'm a ninja! He didn't want Iruka worrying about him; helping him...he was just being used.

It hurt.

Kakashi had asked why. Why? Why would he just give up? Well, he had known from the beginning that it wouldn't last...couldn't last. At first Naruto clung to him as his only support; only friend. But as others began to recognize him, he slowly started pushing Iruka away. Now he had finally come out and said it. His eyes had screamed defiance and his mouth spilt the rejection. And that was it. He had gone out of his way to watch over the little boy in his mind's eye, but it didn't even matter.

Kakashi hadn't helped either. Or, he helped Naruto to push him away. In a way, Iruka was angry with Kakashi for stealing Naruto away from him. But now he knew that that wasn't true. Kakashi didn't steal Naruto, he had just pointed out what he hadn't wanted to see. Naruto didn't need him anymore.

Iruka's thoughts ran in circles for a while longer before he just let is go. He turned then and looked Kakashi straight in the eyes.

"Thank you for trying...but it doesn't work that way...Besides," a ghost of a smile plays on his lips, "I don't have friends." With that, he walked off into the mist, still visible until the trees blocked him from Kakashi's sight. But before long, he just collapsed, unable to handle the depression choking him...

Kakashi was going to follow him to make sure he could at least make it home; thinking all the while of how to help. However, his plans changed the instant the chunin collapsed in the pathway.

He sighed. Well, since he didn't know where Iruka lived...he would have to take him to his place...

End of chapter one. Review if you want, flame if you want...I love fire so I don't mind. I'm just trying to vent my depression in my own way...I have plenty of ideas for the next chapter...whether I write it or not I don't know...maybe if enough people review I will.