A/N: If I ever get a scanner, I'll scan in a bunch of pics I drew of this story. I also drew the layout of Kakashi's house...but no scanner, no art. /sigh/
Disclaimer: I don't own nothin'! (well, maybe the design of Kakashi's house but that's it...well ok...so I just modified it a little...:P)
Thanks: Ruka-kun(thank you sooo much! Your one of my best reviewers.../sniffle/ arigatou!), Paige(lol thanks for the one word review...it is appreciated), Aya(its coming its coming ;P), HatakeKakashi22(another of my fav reviewers thanks so much. /smile/), dk-joy(/gasp/ thank you so so so much! My faceone big grin), Megairl14045(eh heh heh...yeah...sorry I took so long, but I WILL continue...I love this story too much to stop!), Krows Scared (I'm glad I could stir such emotions in you...thanks so much) and Kakashidiot(EVERONE GO READ KAKASHIDIOT'S STORY "PAIN IN THE SS" I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants ).
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Sea of Tears
Many things to say
So little time
I have stolen my time
I have created the perfect suicide
Please don't help me
I want your help so bad
But I cannot ask this of you
You have no reason to leave
I have no reason to stay
Please don't convince me to stay
It will make my time that much shorter
This feeling I have
This feeling you have
What does this mean?
How far will it go?
Will it make it in time?
Before I have to leave?
I have created the perfect suicide
Please don't help me
Please don't convince me to stay...
"Now tell me everything." Kakashi said in monotone. The heat of the room slowly seeped away from Iruka until he sat in a chill fog of apprehension. The room was silent as the grave except for the ticking of a clock in the kitchen. Iruka ran a hand through his ebony locks to stall for time and clear his head.
"Tell me why you want to know first." Kakashi looked at him, puzzled, but said nothing, hoping Iruka would expand the thought more.
"I don't think you'd understand what I'm going through. Why are you so intent on helping me?" Iruka looked down and his fisted hand on the table. His knuckles were white. He heard Kakashi sigh and he looked up through his lashes at the jounin.
"What I understand is that your problem is involving Naruto. I am Naruto's teacher...and as for you; you are an excellent academy teacher. Your students are the future of Konoha Village. The village is my life, and I have sworn to serve and protect it. To lose you as a teacher," Kakashi paused and looked deep into Iruka's eyes, "Would hurt this village." Iruka sensed the deeper meaning behind his words but couldn't quite define it. He blushed slightly at the compliment but remained solemn. Then, sighing in resignation, he began.
"Fine, but I doubt I'll be able to express my problem in just words," he looked significantly at Kakashi, who in return raised a single pale eyebrow. He sighed again. "This is so hard to say...I...after I lost my parents I became the class clown, always seeking attention. Even when I got the attention I needed, it didn't make me any friends. After I became a chunin, I found a friend in Mizuki...or so I thought...until he betrayed the village and me. Then there was Naruto," Iruka stopped and looked at his fisted hands again, swallowing the taste of tears in his throat.
"Please tell me, Iruka," Kakashi says quietly, "I need to know." The chunin looked up briefly before dropping his chocolate eyes again.
"I feel like I've been rejected," Iruka sighed and closed his eyes, brow furrowing in frustration. "I feel like I've been used and then just left for nothing. I'm sure Naruto didn't mean to do that…but…that's how it feels to me." Now the chocolate eyes sought out another set of dark eyes.
Kakashi looked at Iruka and felt a pang of empathy. His situation was almost the same. He had felt abandoned and alone when his friends died…no. He wouldn't think about it now. He had to help Iruka.
"Iruka, you're taking this way too seriously. Naruto just wants to act independent and prove to everyone that he is strong and grown up, that he has accomplished something in life. Iruka, I think if you were to go talk to Naruto, you would see that he hasn't rejected you at all." Kakashi paused. Iruka was looking at him with a perfectly straight face. That meant these words were not getting through to him. Damn! How am I supposed to get this stupid rejection idea out of his head! Kakashi thought. Maybe if I talked to Naruto about this, he could help fix this. Yeah. That would work. But first things first.
Kakashi smiled at the chunin sitting across from him. "Iruka, you said you don't have any friends right now, right?" Iruka's eyes widened a bit before nodding shamefully. "You are a smart, dependable, and caring person, Iruka. I don't understand why you don't have any friends…unless you're the type who doesn't want to get involved." Kakashi's eye accused the chunin and Iruka blushed. Ha. I thought so. He's the kind of guy who will listen to you and maybe give advice, but never give anything of himself to others.
"Iruka, can I be your friend?" Iruka jerked and clutched the table for support. Kakashi wants to be my friend! Why would he want to be friends with someone like me? I…I want him as a friend…I-
"Y-yes?" the poor chunin stuttered and blushed fiercely. Kakashi pulled down his mask and gave a heart-stopping smile, rubbing the back of his head. "I just hope you don't mind having a lazy, perverted, jounin as a friend." He laughed softly.
Iruka smiled and blushed even harder. "I don't mind." He looked down to avoid Kakashi's exposed face. "I…I'm sorry…I don't know what to say. You've been so kind to me..uh…thank you, Kakashi-sensei." Kakashi rolled his eyes.
"Please don't call me sensei, Iruka. We are friends. Please don't use honorifics." Iruka's eyes glanced up to look at Kakashi to see if he was serious and then fell down again so as not to be blinded by that smile.
"Alright, Kakashi. But I really do need to leave…I have to teach at school today…"
"No you don't."
"What? Why not?" Iruka looked puzzled.
"You are staying home today and resting."
"But who'll teach my class?"
"Me."
"…" Kakashi laughed at the look on Iruka's face. It had been worth it all right.
"You can't do that! What-"
"I said I'm filling in for you today. I shouldn't be that hard, and anyway, you desperately need a day off." Kakashi glared accusingly at the chunin again. Iruka blushed again. Why is he always right? Damn… Iruka sighed.
"Fine, but I'll give you my notes for the day so you can follow the outline. We'd better get going, we can't be late." This time it was Iruka would glared accusingly at Kakashi. The jounin rubbed the back of his head.
"I'll be good, Master Iruka."
Iruka huffed. "Let's go," he said and then rose to leave. Kakashi followed and put a hand on Iruka's shoulder just before walking out the door.
"I'm glad you're feeling better, Iruka," he smiled and pulled his mask up.
"Yeah…"
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End of chapter 4! Next chapter: Kakashi teaches Iruka's class/gasp! What will happen? DUM Dum dum!