Shannon kept the paper with the phone number for Sayid's motel, but until last night she hadn't called. Last minute plans for the memorial service and meetings with Sabrina about upcoming company events kept her busy and truthfully, she hadn't really wanted to talk to him. There wasn't anything else to say. But drinks with friends had made her brave and lonely, a dangerous combination. So she called the motel number. When there was no answer first she hung up; then she called back and left a message with the time and place for the memorial service.
The more she thought about it, the surer she was that she had been right to leave. It was painful to realize, but their relationship just couldn't work. It was selfish, she knew, but she didn't want to share him. Especially not with a child, and never with Nadia's child. There would be no end to his involvement with Nadia. But maybe it wasn't complete selfishness on her part. Shannon knew what it was like to have a step-mother who pretended you didn't exist. It wasn't something she would wish on anyone, even Nadia's daughter.
Worse than ending it now would be watching it decay from within if they stayed together. Her resenting the time he spent with his daughter, and him sensing her jealousy and insecurity over a child. A child, Shannon knew without a doubt, he had already fallen in love with. No matter how much she wished it to be different, Yasmin was not going to go away.
Boone's memorial was scheduled for Monday afternoon, less than two days away now. Several of his friends were flying in from all over the globe to do most of the speaking. Sabrina had been most insistent that Shannon deliver part of the eulogy, but she had refused. It would be hard enough listening to it all. Shannon feared that combined with the rift with Sayid it would be too much and she'd end up losing it in front of everyone. She could see that splattered all over the 6 o'clock news. "Craphole Island Crash Survivor Loses It at Brother's Funeral". No thanks.
Shannon closed the office door and sat in the huge leather chair that had been Boone's. She closed her eyes and leaned back. Tears rolled slowly down her face A little over a year ago he was sitting here when she called from Australia. Of course, he dropped everything and flew down to rescue her. He was Boone. Now he was dead. Would someone please tell her how that wasn't her fault? Sayid had said that Boone had free will, it was his choice to help her. But Shannon knew that Boone had never had a choice when it came to her.
She wondered if Sayid would come. It would be like him to want to attend, in spite of where he thought things stood between them. Where did things stand between them? She wished she knew for certain how he felt. She'd really never given him a chance to tell her. Regardless, he would see this as some kind of duty. And seeing him felt like one as well.
The only other survivor Shannon half-expected to see was Jack. The guilt the doctor carried over her brother's death would probably require him to be there. Locke was gone, Claire was in Australia. No one else she could think of cared enough about Boone, or her for that matter, to show up at a belated funeral. They had said their goodbyes on the island. Maybe they all should have done that