Nadia held the cup of tea in both hands and walked through the quiet house. Sayid had taken Yasmin to soccer practice but she had opted to stay home, hoping to work in the garden. In the six months since he had come back into their lives, Nadia had struggled to give Sayid and Yasmin the space to develop a relationship apart from her. Yasmin's sudden interest in soccer seemed to indicate the effort was working.
She stood in the window looking out at the garden, noting what areas needed the most attention. The sunlight streaming in caught the ring on her finger and she twisted it absentmindedly. She hadn't wanted an engagement ring, but when the airline settlement came, Sayid had insisted.
"If you don't help me choose I will pick the gaudiest ring I can find," he had teased with a smile, "And you will have to wear it to spare my feelings."
After much protesting, she chose a simple solitaire in a plain setting. When he gave it to her later however, instead of the plain setting there were four tiny diamonds on each side of the larger one. "One for each year we were apart," he told her.
Nadia was not sentimental, but the ring was truly a symbol of Sayid's love for her, and she treasured it. One day soon, they had decided, they would simply go to the courthouse, get the license, and get married right there.
She told Laurel about it as she worked in the garden later that morning.
"You can't be serious!" Laurel said, dropping to the ground beside her.
Nadia looked up, holding the weeds she had pulled in one hand. With the other she brushed the hair from her eyes. "Why not?'
"Why not? You know exactly what I'm talking about! You two've been through all this...eight years of waiting, and you're going to get married in some dark, musty judge's office? You just can't!" Laurel's green eyes widened and Nadia laughed.
"It doesn't matter to me where we get married," she said, continuing down the row of plants, "Where would you have us go? Certainly not to a church, and I have not been in a mosque since Yasmin was a baby." Her eyes darkened remembering the stares and rejection when all she had wanted was something, anything, to remind her of home. "I won't go back." She stood and threw the weeds into the trash can beside her.
Laurel looked around, "So have it here," she suggested, "Here in the garden."
"Here? How can we do that?" Nadia picked up the pruning scissors and walked around picking and choosing among the blooms.
Glad that Nadia at least seemed interested, Laurel followed her, thinking on her feet. "I know we could find a judge who would be happy to come here. You could invite just a few people, friends, family...I could do the food for after...it would be simple, nothing fancy." Laurel looked at her hopefully.
"We don't have family, really. My parents are dead, Sayid's too, most likely. I have an aunt in Egypt, but we haven't been in touch. She would never travel so far." She pulled together the flowers she had cut and handed the bouquet to Laurel.
"Friends, then," Laurel said, taking the flowers and squeezing her hand, "Neighbors."
"I will think about it, talk to Sayid."
"Good! Now, the important thing...what are you going to wear? We have to go shopping for you, and for Yasmin, too."
Nadia laughed. For Laurel, tall and elegant, clothes were collectible and shopping an adventure to be relished. Nadia considered clothing necessary and serviceable, and shopping a chore. She had to admit though, that most of the flattering items in her closet had been thrust at her by Laurel on infrequent trips to the mall with the admonishment "Buy this." She couldn't argue with the woman's taste.
"Come on," Laurel said now, "Let's have a cup of tea and talk about dresses." Nadia rolled her eyes but followed her friend next door and into the house.
An hour later Nadia heard the car door slam as she stepped out of the shower. She had gotten away from Laurel only by promising a dress-shopping trip and lunch in L.A. next Saturday. Now she threw on a robe and greeted Yasmin as she ran down the hallway.
"Mama, Guess what? I'm going to play forward...that's what Daddy played,"
Nadia had no idea what a forward did, but she hugged her daughter. "That's great, honey. Good job."
Sayid followed her in, beaming, "She remembered everything I showed her. You should have seen her."
"Can I go tell Grace?" Yasmin was already halfway out the door.
"Yes, go ahead," Nadia smiled at Sayid, "She's so excited," she shook her head, "About soccer? I don't think she knew the difference between a soccer ball and a basketball six months ago."
"And here I thought you had done such a good job on your own," He reached out and pulled her close for a kiss, his tongue brushing her lips. Nadia resisted the desire that flashed through her.
"Yasmin will be right back." she whispered.
As if on cue, the door slammed and she came running in," Laurel said she'd take us for ice cream...can I go?"
"You haven't even had lunch..." Nadia began.
"Yes, go." Sayid said, pulling out his wallet and handing Yasmin some money. Yasmin looked at her mother.
Nadia smiled and shook her head at Sayid, "All right, go ahead...have fun," Yasmin ran out and Nadia looked up at him, "You just bribed our daughter."
"I am not the one who offered ice cream."
"Laurel," Nadia smiled.
"Remind me to thank her."
She started to reply, but his hands slipped inside her robe and she lost the breath to speak. He backed her slowly into the bedroom, his hands on her waist. She kissed his throat, inhaling the scent of his skin, and her fingers deftly undid the buttons on his shirt. His hand cupped her breast and they fell together to the bed, barely stopping to discard their remaining clothing.
Later, wrapped in his arms, Nadia brought up Laurel's idea for the wedding. "What do you think?" she asked.
"Is that what you want?"
"Yes, I think so. It does sound nicer than some judge's office, doesn't it?"
"Then that's what we'll do. When?"
"Soon," she kissed him and got up to get dressed, "Very soon."
To Nadia's surprise, planning for the wedding went much quicker than she imagined. Laurel found a judge who was available on the date they had chosen, a little over a month away. They nixed invitations, deciding instead to simply ask a few people to come. Sayid called Jack, who promised to be there. Nadia asked two of the girls from work, along with their husbands. Those few, plus Laurel and Grace, and another neighbor, made up the entire guest list.
Yasmin was excited and eager to help with anything remotely connected to the ceremony. She had chosen her dress, and tried it on at least once a day. Nadia's dress however, was proving difficult to find. She had already endured two shopping trips with Laurel without finding anything she liked.
"We have to find something today," Laurel told her one Saturday. "The wedding is in three weeks. I'm not bringing you home until you have a dress."
Nadia laughed, "Are we going to sleep in the car tonight?"
"If we have to," Laurel looked grim. She was on a mission.
A few minutes later she pulled the jeep into an almost deserted parking lot in a run down strip mall.
"Where are we?" Nadia asked, looking around.
"It's my secret," Laurel told her. "Come on."
Nadia followed her into a small shop. A hand lettered sign on the door said 'Vintage Clothing'. Ignoring the sullen clerk at the register, Laurel went straight to the back of the store and commandeered the owner to help them. Nadia liked the woman immediately, but wondered aloud whether there was anything suitable here.
"I have two more rooms full in the back," the woman assured her, "We'll find you something. I go to all the estate sales. I have things here that could be in museums!"
Laurel smiled at Nadia, "I got the feeling you've been looking for something unique. If we can't find it here, we won't find it."
The owner looked Nadia up and down and had her turn around. "Nothing too long. Tea length, I think, since you're so petite," She tilted Nadia's face to the light. "Not white...I think I have just the dress." She disappeared into the back.
"Now don't look at this on the hanger," the woman said, holding up a lacy, shapeless looking shift in an odd, beige color. "You have to try it on. It's silk and I know the color is strange, but with your skin tone...trust me." she handed the dress to Nadia and pushed her toward the changing room, "Try it on."
"There's no mirror in here," Nadia said, surprised.
"That's so people have to come out where I can see them."
"Yeah, me, too," Laurel said, "Come on. Let us see."
Both the owner and Laurel smiled broadly when Nadia emerged from the dressing room. "See," the woman said looking at Laurel, "I'm never wrong."
"Wow," said Laurel, "If you don't love this..."
When Nadia saw herself in the mirror she had to admit the dress was perfect. The silk clung like a second skin, but the lace overlay kept it from being at all revealing. The color, which had looked so dull on the hanger, picked up the golden tones in her skin and seemed to reflect the light. She couldn't help smiling, thinking of the look on Sayid's face when he saw her.
"Okay," she said, "I love it," she closed her eyes. "How much?"
The woman quoted a price that was just slightly more than Nadia had planned on spending. She decided it was well worth it. She paid, and Laurel was only too happy to carry the dress bag and place it carefully in the car.
"I can keep it at my house. You're still dressing there, right?"
"Yes, and that way there won't be any peeking. I don't want Yasmin to see it either."
They celebrated their find over lunch.
When Nadia got home Grace and Yasmin were watching a movie. "Daddy's on the computer," Yasmin announced with a mouthful of popcorn. Some of the popcorn fell out, of course, and Grace collapsed in hysterics. Nadia shook her head at the two of them and walked back to the extra bedroom they used as an office. Sayid clicked the screen off just as she came in.
He turned in the chair, "Did you find a dress?"
"Yes, I did."
"Can I see?" he smiled.
"You know the answer to that," Nadia said returning his smile. "You'll see it soon enough. What were you doing on the computer?"
"Jack gave me his e-mail. He's out in Iowa for a few days. Some kind of pre-trial stuff for Kate. He'll be back in time for the wedding though."
"Good." The three of them had gone to dinner several times and Nadia liked Jack. She felt it was important for Sayid to have a friend to talk to who knew about the island, someone who had shared that experience. There were things he had been through that she simply couldn't understand. "I hope it all works out and I can meet Kate soon."
"Me, too," he said, "I think you will like her. She reminds me of you in some ways."
"Really? How?" Nadia was curious. He had never mentioned this before.
"Well, she is beautiful, like you," he smiled, "so you might think she would be easy to intimidate, or push around, but she is tough like you, too. She is strong. She can take care of herself."
"If she is like me, she is happy that Jack is there for her so she doesn't have to be strong all of the time." She kissed him and went to check on the girls.
As soon as she left the room, Sayid clicked the screen back on and finished what he had been doing, smiling at the thought of the surprise.
The next weeks went by quickly. A few days before the wedding, Sayid walked in, smiling, and handed Nadia a small box.
"What's this?" she asked.
"A gift," he told her, "Something you should have."
He watched her face closely as she opened it. She gasped, and her eyes filled with tears.
"It can't be," she looked at him, "Where did you get this?"
"Your aunt, Leila, she sent it. I contacted her about coming to the wedding, to surprise you. She wanted to, but Amir just had heart surgery, and she didn't want to leave him. They have invited us for a visit, though, when Yasmin is out of school."
This was my mother's." She held up the delicate silver chain and didn't try to stop the tears.
"I know."
"How did Leila..." Nadia sat down. "I went home when Mama got sick. They found me, arrested me there, just a few days after the funeral. My father..." her voice broke and Sayid sat and put his arm around her. "He disowned me, said he didn't have a daughter. I did not get anything that had been hers. Leila had this?"
"No. Asef had it. He gave it to her, for you."
"Asef?" the tears vanished instantly, and Nadia's voice grew cold. "You know he is the reason we were apart, Sayid. Can you forgive him? Because I cannot."
" I remember. Do you also remember that it was Asef who got me out of Iraq?" He looked at her, wondering if this had been the right thing to do. "There is a letter, two, actually, one from Leila...and one from your brother."
"What does he say?"
"They are for you. I did not read them." Sayid laid the letters on the table. Sensing she needed to be alone to do this he said, "Take your time. Yasmin and I will go and bring something back for dinner."
Nadia stared at the two letters Sayid had placed on the table. Pushing Asef's letter aside, she opened Leila's first. My Dear Child it began, and Nadia's tears started again. Why had she shut Leila out? All these years? It would have been good to have family, even so far away. Maybe if she had kept in touch, Sayid would have found them sooner, She had been afraid though, and this was not the time for regrets. She continued to read.
I would so much love to be there for your wedding day. I know how long you both have waited for this. Hopefully, we can all be together soon, and we will celebrate then. Leila went on, with no bitterness or anger over Nadia's silence or the years apart, but chatty, telling about Amir's recovery, how good it had been to talk to Sayid and find out that all was well, and how anxious she was to meet Yasmin.
Then at the end of the letter, her tone changed. She wrote. I do not know if you knew that my Amir is a Christian. He has never pressured me to convert but living with him all these years has given me a perspective others may not have. I see his God as merely another manifestation of the divine, just as Allah is. I believe that God desires us to forgive each other. I know how you must feel toward Asef. But he asks for your forgiveness. I promised him I would speak on his behalf. He suffers greatly knowing how he hurt you and he knows that he can never fully atone for what he did. I hope and pray that you can find a way to soften your heart toward him, and that when you visit, we can be together as a family. All my love, Leila
Nadia put the letter down, then picked it up and read it again. She had spent years pushing away any thoughts of Asef and what he had done. It did no good to live with anger. It was easier to pretend she had no family. Now though, all of it came rushing back, the betrayal, the fear, worse when she discovered she was pregnant. She had lived with Leila for over a month, knowing that, and had said nothing. Then London, and the rest. She took a deep breath and tore open Asef's letter.
The letter was very short, and written in Arabic. Nadia had to stop and think it had been so long since she had read anything in her native tongue. Nadia, he began simply, I am so sorry. I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, but I am asking anyway. I have lived with the knowledge of what I did to you for too long. It darkens all of the happy memories I have of our growing up. Nadia set the letter on the table and stared ahead. Yasmin's questions about her grandparents, about Nadia's own childhood, often went unanswered. The past, even the joyful parts, was too painful to recollect. Nadia turned her attention back to Asef's words. Leila tells me you and Sayid are to be married. You should have our mother's necklace to wear on your wedding day. I hope you will accept it, along with my love. The letter was signed simply Ana Akh. I am your brother. Nadia closed her eyes. Could she do this? Perhaps it was time to try.
When Sayid and Yasmin came in with cartons of Mu Shu Shrimp and Cashew Chicken, she was still sitting at the table with Asef's letter in her hand. Sayid sent Yasmin to wash up.
"Are you all right?" he put his hand on her shoulder.
She covered it with her own. "I will be," she said, she held out the necklace to him. "Will you help me put it on?" Standing, she lifted her hair. He brought the necklace around in front, and after a few missed attempts, fastened the tiny clasp, kissing her neck before backing away. He was curious about the letters, but decided it would be better not to ask questions now. Nadia would talk to him when she was ready.
Yasmin bounced back into the kitchen, "Can we eat now? I'm hungry!" she said sitting down and opening the cartons. Nadia got plates, and they passed the food around the table. When all the cartons were empty, Yasmin reached into the sack. "The fortune cookies are my favorite part," she said handing one to her mother. "You first, Mama."
Nadia unwrapped the cookie and broke it open. Rolling out the paper she laughed and read aloud; "Including others in your life will bring great happiness." She looked at Sayid and smiled.
"Now Daddy," Yasmin said, pulling out another cookie.
"No, that one is yours," Sayid said.
"Okay," Yasmin broke the cookie and read, her lips moving silently, a puzzled look on her face. "I don't get it," she said.
"Read it out loud," Nadia told her.
"An inch of time is an inch of gold," Yasmin looked at them. "What does that mean?"
"It means that time is precious," Nadia said softly, "And we shouldn't waste it."
"Oh,"Yasmin said. She looked at Sayid. "Your turn."
"I don't think she liked that one," he laughed. Picking up the last cookie, he broke it and read; "You will travel far and wide for both business and pleasure." He looked at Nadia and Yasmin. There had been quite enough traveling in his life. This was home. There was no place else he wanted to be. "No," he said, "I think I will stay put for awhile."