Chapter Sixteen: Screaming Infidelities

Ellie

Okay, so I have to admit that the alcohol didn't work out too well. All it did was make me do stuff with Jay and give me a horrible headache. I still don't know what my mother saw in that stuff. Anyway, I went to a party last night. I asked Sean to come with me, but he refused. I guess he's still mad about the whole drunken Jay thing. So I called Jay and he went with me. Emma was taking care of Jack so she had to stay behind. Pity.

So, my first party in Toronto was a little boring. I did end up in a corner with Jay and some pot. He had a few joints rolled in a baggie in his pocket. And we shared them all. I definitely have to say that pot is so much better than alcohol. It really is. I was laughing hysterically after a few hits as Jay and I were reminiscing about the other night. He kissed me a few times, but all of the kisses were sloppy and boring.

I woke up this morning feeling great. No puking my guts out; no hangover. I stretched and yawned, my arm bumping into something. Or should I say someone. Yep, it was Jay. Luckily, my door was closed and locked, and hopefully Sean wasn't here when we came in last night. I don't remember looking for him because I was so happy to be laughing with Jay. A knock on my door startled me and I fell right off my bed.

"Ellie?" Sean called from the other side of the door. "You in there?"

"Yeah!" I yelled to him. "Just a minute! I'm getting dressed!" I lied. I pinched Jay. Hard. I had my hand over his mouth so he wouldn't yell at me.

"You want some breakfast?" he asked. I pointed to the door so Jay would get the point.

"Sure, that sounds great!" Jay quickly got up and found his pants on the floor, pulling them on. And before it even comes to mind, no, we didn't have sex. He just said he'd rather sleep without them. Wow, I can actually remember what happened last night. And it's a really good feeling.

"Okay, I'll be right back!" Sean replied. Jay paused and we both held our breath until we heard the front door close. I let out a sigh of relief.

"That was close," I said. "I wouldn't have woken you up like that if I knew he was going to go out and get breakfast. Sorry," I apologized.

"That's okay. I better get going before Greenpeace decides to call my house." He kissed me hard on the lips before he left. I stared after him with my mouth hanging open. That was the second time that we kissed when we weren't drunk or high. Can I really be falling for Jay? But there's still Sean. Actually, now that I think of it, he hasn't been here very much lately. He's probably doing the same thing to me. Sean's voice ripped me away from my thoughts.

"I'm back!" he yelled from the kitchen. Shit. I still wasn't dressed. I got up and threw on a skirt and long-sleeved black shirt. I looked in my vanity mirror, fixed my hair, and quickly put on some makeup. I still look like crap, but whatever.

I walked into the kitchen and saw the table set. There were two cups of coffee and two plates, full of chocolate doughnut holes. It was the first breakfast that I had here. I felt a pang of guilt hit my stomach. I walked over to Sean, wrapping my arms around him. I kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks," I whispered in his ear.

"I just wanted to say sorry," he said, surprising me.

"For what?" I asked him.

"For being so distant these past couple of days. I talked to Jay and he assured me that nothing happened between you two when I found you on the floor. I shouldn't have left you with him. I know you don't need a babysitter, I was just afraid for you," he explained. "I've been working on Simpson's car, so I haven't even seen you."

I felt like I was going to throw up, right then and there. I've been screwing around with Jay behind Sean's back, and he was working. I knew he wouldn't really do anything with Emma. I felt so stupid.

"I'm sorry too," I said.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked. I sensed a tiny note of suspicion in his voice.

"I'm sorry that I've been partying while you're out working. And I haven't been myself lately. I want everything to go back to the way it was before."

"Me too," he whispered in my ear. We kissed and then sat down, eating our breakfast in comfortable silence. When we were finished, Sean stood up and put his plate away.

"I have to get going. Work awaits." He kissed me on the cheek and I watched him walk away, out the door, to earn our rent money. What did I do to deserve Sean? I've been cheating on him and he's been working. And he doesn't even suspect a thing. I'm such an idiot.

Sean

As I walked over to Emma's, I silently screamed inside my head. Ellie deserves better than me. I knocked on the door and Emma answered it. I was about to reach for her hand when Jay appeared in the doorway behind her.

"What are you doing here Sean?" she asked me.

"I came to work on your dad's car," I lied.

"I'll go get him." As Emma walked away, I fought myself not to stare at her. Jay sat down on the couch and motioned for me to sit next to him.

"How's Ellie?" he asked. "Haven't seen her since, you know…"

"She's better I guess. No more alcohol," I didn't feel like talking to him about this. It was uncomfortable for some reason. "How's Emma?"

"Why do you ask that? You just saw her two seconds ago." I shrugged and Jay turned away from me to the television. Emma came back into the room and plopped down on Jay's lap, enveloping him in a huge hug and kissing him hard, shoving her tongue into his mouth. She had her eyes open; staring at me the entire time she kissed him. I smiled but she quickly closed her eyes before the kiss ended. Before I was tortured any longer, Mr. Simpson 'bounced' happily into the room.

"Good to see you Sean. I thought you'd never get around to fixing the car," he said. I lowered my gaze to the floor. When I looked up, Jay had a weird look on his face. I quickly stood up and followed Emma's dad outside.

Ellie

"You want to go to another party tonight?" I asked Jay over the phone. "I already asked Sean and he said he had to work all night on the car." Jay laughed into the phone. "What's so funny about that?" I asked him.

"Oh, he's probably working all night because this is the first time he's worked on it all summer."

"That's not true! He told me that he was sorry he's been so busy working," I protested.

"That's what he told you. Look, I'm not lying. Mr. Simpson said, 'Good to see you Sean. I thought you'd never get around to fixing the car,' when he came over Emma's today.

"Do you think that he…?" I trailed off.

"He's probably been with Emma the entire time. I don't think she's been babysitting as she said she has. Anyway, she's 'babysitting' tonight too, so I'd love to go to that party with you. I'll pick you up in an hour," he said.

"I'll be ready." I slammed the phone down and stormed into the bathroom to take a shower. I don't know why I'm so mad. I've been doing things with Jay. But Sean's with Emma? Why her? I thought we were friends? There I go, being a hypocrite again.

Sean

I worked on Simpson's car for a few hours, and then called Ellie with some lame excuse that I'd be there all night. Emma was playfully rubbing my leg the entire time I was on the phone with her. Her parents went out every night with Jack, and we had some alone time. Sure, I felt bad that I was doing this to Ellie, but she wasn't exactly around anyway. She goes to these parties now. And Jay's never with Emma at night because he told her he goes out with Towerz. Of course, now that I think of it, he could be with Ellie. Nah, she wouldn't do that to me. Would she? Wait, why do I care? I've really become such a hypocrite.

"Sean! I'm waiting!" Emma called from her bedroom. I was in the kitchen getting a drink of water. We hadn't done anything really serious; just make out. But she was a great kisser. And she actually wanted to be with me; unlike Ellie. But, then again, Ellie has gone through so much in her life that she needs me now more than ever. Or Jay could help her. "Sean!" Emma begged louder. I finally went back to her room, all thoughts of Ellie vanishing from my mind.

I climbed on top of Emma, kissing her from her mouth all the way down to her hand. She loved it when I did that. Then I did something that went farther then we had ever gone together. And she let me.

I pulled Emma's shirt right off. I had to admit; I was extremely horny. After seven months of living with Ellie and not getting any, I was sick of it. Of course, she was pregnant at the time, and then lost her baby, and a whole bunch of other things happened. But I was happy just being with her. With Emma, it was more like we had to do something sexual or I couldn't stick around.

"You okay?" Emma asked. I realized that I was spacing out while I lay right there on top of her. I was thinking of Ellie, and that's not good.

But, then again, being with Emma would be so much better; especially because she was a virgin. Now, I've only had sex with one person in my life, and that was Alex. But that was just revenge sex. And she wasn't a virgin, which made it better for me because she taught me stuff. But Emma was so sweet and innocent lying there that I had to do something.

A/N: Will Sean and Emma have sex? Or will he stop because he feels guilty. Or will she stop him because she's not ready?

If anyone is wondering, it's supposed to be around the middle of June right now. I never said it, but Ellie's baby was due in the beginning of July, but since he died when she was eight months pregnant, it's June right now. I realized that I haven't even mentioned school since Chapter 9…it's obviously not the central focus of my story. I'm just gonna say that they went to school normally, and when Zane died and Ellie gave birth, they were already out for the summer.